Hiya cm and all .
l am missing all the right things, it's not just surface stuff or needs or convenience, in a way l wish that was it.
l really miss the way we were in ea others corner anytime anywhere even if 1200k apart 1/2 the time, we were always there. Miss our calls and non stop chatter all day, nver messaged os much in my life, miss her face and smiles, eyes, holds man l miss our holds we had the most beautiful holds we called them , cuddles and ways of just holding ea other . l miss eating with her , funny right but we usually ate in this certain way , like monkeys. lf you ever watch monkeys together munching away we'd sit usually at the corner on the table one side ea often knees touching in ea faces only inches away ldk why and she'd get up bring more food or other stuff and we'd touch coming and going , never done that in my life either. lt'd drive me mad normally give me space let me bloody eat but with us dk that's just how we ate.
Miss our walking we'd walk miles and miles she doesn't drive and l can't be stuff driving in syd it's more trouble than it's worth so we'd just walk really miss that we'd do the funniest stuff. Or l'd turn round and she'd be sitting on a fence reading a book someones put out with stuff on the nature strip, we were always looking through stuff people would put out to give away, she loves looking through the books. Miss the way she'd come out to see me at work in naughty moods anything could happen ha ha , luckily l work on my own it's very private ha ha .
l'd call them all the things you should miss if it was real but the weirdest thing is she'd miss totally different stuff, she'd probably hardly even think about all these little everyday things , we were very different like that to me it was all that stuff that made us us but to her it was the much bigger more serious things.
Miss driving with her so much to, at mine we'd drive at hers we don't. she'd be putting on music in language l don't speak or stuff my face with bits of food she'd bring along or getting naughty never understood the focus you need to drive she's never driven. Trying to catch her in basket ball, man she was fast. An ex gymnast , so fast and agile.
lt's all this stuff and much more most of anyway where l know l'd never have with anyone else never did in 20yrs of marriage b4 we had different stuff our stuff but for us now this was our stuff. lt's just about whatever comes out between you as people and a couple. But if she read this she'd be shocked and really touched none the less . She was never much good at just reading the room or the person so to speak , she needed everything spoken this was always one of our problems.The emotion was always there inside and easily showing there was no need to me l could see it and feel it l didn't need it spoken 24 7 at every turn but she did.
She needed everything in writing so to speak, just one of those people, some people are like that especially very emotional women. She'd never see any problems either or the causes , again she'd need it spoken or she'd just be confused thinking wtf was that about .
So one of my biggest things was the need to speak every little and big thing, was just exhausting , but she loved it, she could talk about it all day n night 24 7.
And l could never assume something was just seen and understood bc it won't be she's really weird like that. l see a lot of things but she need it all spoken.
ldk how she could not be missing us and all the things meant so much to me but truth is unless she read this she probably wouldn't even realize. sHe's probably missing big things that don't mean that much to me- in all that we were very very different.
rx
