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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Mytk1921 Complicated
  • replies: 9

I'm married & have been for 13 years now.My personality -quiet type, home body, loyal to my partner, full of emotions & can be sensitive.Husband -Outgoing, has many friends, can be quite cold, loves attention.There's been a few scenarios where we wou... View more

I'm married & have been for 13 years now.My personality -quiet type, home body, loyal to my partner, full of emotions & can be sensitive.Husband -Outgoing, has many friends, can be quite cold, loves attention.There's been a few scenarios where we would argue about my partner & getting involved with other women. He says I am being too sensitive, he could be right, but my gut instincts tell me otherwise.I doubt myself - as in maybe, as these things keep happening, I'm becoming more and more sensitive to the point I am insecure.Eg: he'd receive an SMS 'I wish you were here swimming with me'Or receiving SMS from girls at like 12am sharp wishing him a happy birthday.There was a moment we went camping with his friend & the wife,couple date. Got drunk to the point everyone passed out except my husband who kept hugging the wife & said she's his (as a joke), giving her cheek kisses, spooning her etc. I get they're all highschool friends but felt wrong. Especially being drunk.. I confronted him the next day about it & he apologized.Years go by & we all catch up again, this time, at theirs. Once again we get drunk, I was about to sleep but when I noticed hubby wasn't sleeping next to me, I walked out to find he was ontop of her, nothing physically happened but it almost looked like things were getting there.There were a few other things that had happened which I cannot find normal, however I feel these actions have accrued & is making me drown in disappointment.I almost don't know myself anymore; I am unsure if I still love my husband, who is also the father to our two boys.Recently, we rented our spare bedroom to a young male who has now been living with us for two weeks.I have to admit, him & I would talk about things that have a similar interest & we got quite close. He's 9 years younger than me & had recently broken up with his girlfriend so our conversation was almost counselling. Hubby sleeps early every night due to early work commitments so there was a time where hubby and the kids went to bed & it was just the sharemate & I.We had a few drinks & talked for four hours late at night. Hubby would walk in & ask what we're doing.. confused with the situation.Few days later, again, us two would be left talking late at night etc. Hubby wasn't happy, he cracked it at me saying the boys keen. I enjoyed his company I won't lie but I couldn't help but stick up for the guy. Should I keep my distance? I think the boy knows why hubby & I argued, he looks cautious.

James33 My drinking addiction
  • replies: 2

Hi. Me and my partner have been together for 9 years have two beautiful kids and last few years iv been depressed because if money issues I work full time but seem to always be stuck in same place and this monday I got drunk with mates and went home.... View more

Hi. Me and my partner have been together for 9 years have two beautiful kids and last few years iv been depressed because if money issues I work full time but seem to always be stuck in same place and this monday I got drunk with mates and went home. I was so drunk I lost it and went off my partner was so scared she called the cops. Thank God my kids where asleep. I am now on the brink of losing my partner and my kids because as partner said she's never seen that person before and she was scared for the first time of me. I hurt so bad now I can't even look in the mirror. I really need help stoping rhe addition so I don't lose myself. Any advice or just a chat would be si appreciated. Many thanks

lonelyloz Help leaving husband
  • replies: 2

Hi all, I have finally made the decision to leave my husband after being together for 22 years and 4 kids. We have had issues for a long time which he refuses to seek help for and he put me through hell last year when I asked for a separation to see ... View more

Hi all, I have finally made the decision to leave my husband after being together for 22 years and 4 kids. We have had issues for a long time which he refuses to seek help for and he put me through hell last year when I asked for a separation to see if we would be happier. A side of him cameout that I have never seen before and the venom in his voice and way he spoke to me was awful. He kept telling me to “get a f$&!ing job” and stop sponging off him (we had 4 kids in 5 years and I have attempted to work and study many times and the family has fallen apart as he hasn’t picked up the slack at all and I was even hospitalized for getting so sick doing everything) he threatened to close our accounts and leave me without money, threatened the kids against me, abused and said violent things about me to his sister via text and then wouldn’t let me leave the house for even a night to escape. I was in severe depression and suicide watch at the time (I had told him this and showed him all my psychologist notes) but he took no notice and eventually one night I tried to end my own life as I felt so trapped (not blaming him for that but it was just another straw) we saw a counsellor for a few months be he slowly lost interest and the troublesome behaviour continued. He is constantly angry, stressed and aggressive unless he drinks. Tensions are rising again between us and I’m terrified he will turn in to the monster he was last year again. We haven’t been able to claim Centrelink for years because he never gives me the details they need and hasn’t done a tax return for years so now we have a debt! I’ve been looking for a job for years and I know I won’t get (or want) anything from him but i need to leave and soon. Does anyone know of any loans, assistance I can get from Centrelink or public housing etc (my children identify as indigenous but I don’t) I’ve been trying to call Centrelink for weeks and can’t get through! Any help would much appreciated

A147 Feeling hopeless
  • replies: 1

Hi, I posted a few years ago about my cheating husband……. Many chances and years later I’m still here in this situation and I’m feeling hopeless. Many looking in from the outside would see a perfect situation, financial stability and a dream life but... View more

Hi, I posted a few years ago about my cheating husband……. Many chances and years later I’m still here in this situation and I’m feeling hopeless. Many looking in from the outside would see a perfect situation, financial stability and a dream life but I still feel completely out of control. My daughter is suffering as I have sunk to an all time low in my depression. The affair aside my husband has always been very controlling, being with him is like being on a roller coaster, my daughter and I never know who will walk through the door. We both work together so in front of our staff he will portray a loving husband even if he’s belittled me that morning. He is not interested in how I feel or am feeling and never has been, I must support him in all that he does. I was too young to know what coercive control was or looked like when we got together. But all I know now is that I felt wrong from the get go and forced myself into a situation I thought was right. My family do not like him and my closest ally, my sister, has now washed her hands of me at what she thinks is my feeble attempts to leave. I announced that I wished to seperate last week but he thinks I’m bluffing again. I don’t know how to get out of this…. I need support but I can’t ask my family at the moment, they’ve always been amazing but I think I may have used up all my empathy credit with them., I am in such a deep depression I really don’t want to be here anymore, I can’t bail out because I wouldn’t do it to my daughter, not sure where to draw my strength from now as all I want to do is sleep. Thought about calling 1800 respect to find out whether relationship is really abusive because where I’m sitting I’m not sure anymore. I’m almost 50 and I love being by myself so I’m not afraid to be alone for the rest of my life, I’m just afraid for my child who is 11 and loves her father but does fear him a little. There has been no physical violence just emotional abuse…. I’d just love to hear from anyone really who has had a similar experience. Thanks for letting me speak

yowiie I would like to meet my biological daughter
  • replies: 18

Hi GuysI am pretty new to this forum, with this being my first postmy reason for being here is for advice on the best way to handle a situation back in 1979 I had a couple of passionate nights with a young lady, who consequently got pregnant.I was wo... View more

Hi GuysI am pretty new to this forum, with this being my first postmy reason for being here is for advice on the best way to handle a situation back in 1979 I had a couple of passionate nights with a young lady, who consequently got pregnant.I was working away after the 2 night stand and was notified some months later by a couple of mates who resided in the same town as the girl, that she was pregnant with my child.being 19 myself I wasn’t sure what to do, but did how ever try and make contact with her through her parents, but they wouldn’t allow me to talk to herso I figured maybe it’s not my baby and tried to forget about it, but it was always on my mind20 years later I was visiting my grandmother in the hospital and the young lady was a nurse therei was polite to her, I never asked about the baby as it wasn’t my concern. She basically called me everything and know one wanted to see me, she asked who do you think your going to see why your in town.It got me thinking maybe the child was mineI asked my mother if the young lady’s offspring resemble me in anyway, so being a mother she was only more than helpful in her offer to help solve the mysteryThe young lady is now 42 and lives in the same town as my mother. Mum ran into her in the street a month ago and chattedMy mother rang and was in disbelief, the young lady is the spitting image of my oldest daughter, skin colouring , facial features, build, etcI asked my sister who still lives in to find some pics of the lady,!she managed to find several on Facebook and sent them to meI was speechless, there is so much resemblance to my daughter it’s uncannyI am quite certain now that the lady is my daughter, my question is how do I approach her mother to see if I can get contactafter her outburst at the hospital I can’t imagine she would be to happy to hear from me

Cathy_Chiew Be frustrated with the relationship with my friend but she is also my roommate
  • replies: 1

My friend, M, is my roommate but also my friend. We usually hang out together, but after she fed a cat, things changed. Because I have an allergy to cat fur, I had told her about this issue. She promised me she would do the cleaning. However, she did... View more

My friend, M, is my roommate but also my friend. We usually hang out together, but after she fed a cat, things changed. Because I have an allergy to cat fur, I had told her about this issue. She promised me she would do the cleaning. However, she didn't! My nose has been stuck for over four years. Every time I saw fur on the kitchen bench, my desk, in the fridge, and so on, the fur be on the place its shouldnt I couldn't help but feel angry. I had tried to discuss it with her, but the response was like, 'Oh, my cat is so pitiful; no one likes you,' or 'I'll shave your fur, my kitty, to be bald, and there would be no fur.' Also, she put a Poopoo machine in our bathroom but only cleans it once per fortnight. I have to endure the terrible smell every time I use the bathroom. I told her about this issue, and she bought candles and a diffuser. The combination of smells was extremely disgusting.I feel she is really selfish! But I also have to admit we have had lots of good times. Mostly when we hang out, she drives, and she has also introduced me to many new friends. I'm confused about whether I should continue this relationship

nixxyboo Family blaming me
  • replies: 1

Someone in the house has $100 missing from their wallet Yet again (mind you I’ve also had money missing which is why I don’t carry cash now unless it’s given to me but didn’t say anything as didn’t want to blame anyone.) however I’m now getting the b... View more

Someone in the house has $100 missing from their wallet Yet again (mind you I’ve also had money missing which is why I don’t carry cash now unless it’s given to me but didn’t say anything as didn’t want to blame anyone.) however I’m now getting the blame and also found out they have blamed me for other things (my partner told me they have said things to them). I’m over it. I do t do shit but yet it’s always me. I want out of here but untill I can get back to work I can’t

bonchm Fiancé chatting online and compulsively lies
  • replies: 1

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years next month. 2 weeks ago I caught him on a dating site. He swore blue in the face it wasn’t him, he had been hacked. Made out he had made a police report. Made me feel crazy for not letting it go. 1 week later, I ... View more

I’ve been with my partner for 4 years next month. 2 weeks ago I caught him on a dating site. He swore blue in the face it wasn’t him, he had been hacked. Made out he had made a police report. Made me feel crazy for not letting it go. 1 week later, I sat in front of him and went though his emails. He thought he had covered his tracks but I found proof of his ads. He swears that he never met anyone but I can’t believe him. I told a mutual friend. Turns out this is how is marriage ended, literally 3 months before I met him!! I don’t know who he is! He has been on this site since we got together! He was chatting while I was in hospital with threatened pre term labour and still just after I had had his baby!! I keep digging and finding more. I can my stop, it’s driving me crazy. emails to other women talking about things that we were excited about. He’s emotionally sharing with other women, sending cheeky memes to both me and another at the same time. i reallllly don’t know what to do either I want this to work for the kids (big blended family) and I have never felt this way about someone before. But writing his actions down and re reading them, if it were a friend I’d tell them to run from him.

Rachy86 Pregnant sister
  • replies: 1

Hi my name is Rachel and my sister is pregnant.We are very close and she supports me alot as I have mental health issues.I know things will change but I am afraid I am going to lose the relationship I have with my sister and because of this I feel I ... View more

Hi my name is Rachel and my sister is pregnant.We are very close and she supports me alot as I have mental health issues.I know things will change but I am afraid I am going to lose the relationship I have with my sister and because of this I feel I am not reacting to the news in the right way.Also I feel I am not a great person so I don't know how I can contribute to helping another person. I know I don't want them to turn out like me. And because of this I am taking a step back from the whole situation which I don't want to do because I love my sister and I want to support her. But maybe it's better this way at least I won't screw it up.

gloria10 My sister has stopped talking to me
  • replies: 11

Hi. I'm looking for some advice to deal with my sister, who has recently stopped talking to me. We have never really been super close, but have still stayed in contact every few months as we know family is important. Recently, she started to get a bi... View more

Hi. I'm looking for some advice to deal with my sister, who has recently stopped talking to me. We have never really been super close, but have still stayed in contact every few months as we know family is important. Recently, she started to get a bit hostile towards me and argued over little things, I felt I was walking on eggshells. If I tried to reach out to her she wouldn't answer my calls. I understand people get busy, but I get the feeling it's more than that. It's not a nice feeling getting the silent treatment and I'm left feeling quite drained at times. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this sort of thing and how you approached it? Many thanks, Gloria10