Isolation

Tri71Cr

Well. I'm done. Done getting judged by everyone, their condescending remarks and how they treat me. Calling me heartless, insinuating that I only care about money, that I complain, are a troublemaker. Tired of being undermined and treated like I'm the one with the problem and are delusional. Tired of Doctors not giving a stuff then putting it all on me. I'm sick to my core and tired of everybody's shit.

indigo22

Hello Tri71Cr,

I have just been reading your previous post and find it a concern that your demeanour has changed so much in just 2 weeks. Has something in particular caused this shift?

It sounds very much like you are feeling overwhelmed and angry with life in general. I know that feeling and I know how difficult it is to be in that state, I am glad you decided to reach out here again.

It may help to talk about some of the things you mentioned in more detail. If you don't feel comfortable doing that, then perhaps writing your thoughts and feelings down in a journal may help to give you some relief. Keeping all the angst inside will wear you down very quickly so you need to find a way to release some of it.

We are here to support you, so please continue this conversation if you are comfortable.

Thinking of you with care,

indigo

Croix

Dear Tri71Cr~

I'd like to join Indigo in welcoming you here to the Forum, it sounds like a place you need at the moment.

You are not going to be judged here, no condescending remarks - we in the Forum just about all have had very hard times, and as a result we are all equal, and if we can help we will.

Indigo's right in things , each manageable, can pile up until they become overwhelming. I would be surprised that a dad who was in Vietnam and an army nurse for a mum are going to give you the same sort of upbringing as civilians, say an accountant or a chef.

Your parents will have a different perspective on life, and may in fact had their experiences affected them deeply (you don't have ot go overseas to become ill when you treat those whose conditions are very upsetting).

As an ex-cop I know my experiences made me treat my family in a very different way, and that can make a whole lot of difference to kids, who can grow up accused of not taking things seriously, not trying hard enough and generally living having been born to an easy life..

It's true, my kids priorities are different.

So I'm guessing about some of your problems -if I've got it wrong I apologize, however as the first thing you did was say your parent's military service I have assumed it was a big factor in your life.

Those criticisms you have faced, "heartless, only care about money, complain, are a troublemaker". Did they come from your parents or family?

I can't realy say much about your doctors, I've know some good and some way off track. And the same with your diagnosis. If they refuse medication mybe they are justified - or not, then again maybe you are suggesting something they can't give. I'm in that position now.

You know we are listening, and may well relate to your circumstances, would you like to give some more details?

You will be welcome

Croix

melodica

I really hear this. I have felt this same exhaustion from being judged and treated as though the problem is me from a system that often fails the very people who need it most. Being repeatedly undermined by doctors and services can cause deep hurt and distrust of others, erode your sense of reality, and lead you to question yourself. It is an awful feeling.

What you are describing does not sound like someone who is heartless or delusional. You have been advocating for yourself for a long time and perhaps feel punished for it.

In my experience, the mental health system is broken in many ways. It struggles with complexity, trauma and people who do not fit neatly into boxes. Too often, that failure gets handed back to the person as blame.

At the same time, there are good clinicians out there. They are harder to find than they should be, and the search can be exhausting, but they do exist. People who listen. People who do not default to judgment. People who understand that being done usually means being worn out, not beyond help.

You are not wrong for feeling this way. Wanting the judgment to stop does not make you the problem. I am really glad you posted here and hope you feel supported.

Tri71Cr

I'm psycho for wanting a clean house, I'm psycho for having integrity, I'm psycho if I complain.

It all doesn't matter does it?

I'm gone. Gonna have to find funds to ensure my dog is taken care of, because no one else will. Got no one I trust, can rely on or confide in.

lost_echo

Hi Tri71Cr,

I'm curious around what you mean you are a psycho? It sounds like there's a lot going in your environment and your head right now and it is very hard to juggle those by yourself.

You can 100% use this space to vent and confide your worries, struggles and anything in your life. I thank you for taking the time to even come here and write your distress - it can certainly be hard.

indigo22

Hello again Tri71Cr,

A number of us have responded to your post from yesterday to give you support. I have asked the moderators to combine this post with the other so we can continue to support you in one thread. This helps us keep track of what you have said and the replies you have received.

You can confide in us, we are here to support you and you matter here, even if you feel you don't matter anywhere else at present. I have put the link to your post from yesterday below, please have a look at the responses and keep posting there, we will be here to help in whatever way we are able.

https://forums.beyondblue.org.au/t5/relationship-and-family-issues/isolation/td-p/616788

You are in safe hands here,

indigo