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Hello

LH1990
Community Member

Hi, first time poster here.

I don’t know if I have anxiety, just stressed or an issue. I am 28 years old and what I worry about seems so stupid.

my partner has been given notice of redundancy (2nd time in 2 years) due to company administration and it has sent my stress levels through the roof on how are we going to get through and money worries. I know this is normal but I can’t turn off we are engaged to be married and I can’t see us been able to afford it so I feel like cancelling the whole thing (it is in 2020) but still worries me, I am thinking what if we have a kid it would be even more stressful.

I also have this strong feeling of I have no friends / people don’t like me. I.e his mum I feel she favours his brothers wife and also his brother over us and we are just left out. Example when his brother went away she would pop over 3 times a week to see the gf but I doubt she will even contact me.

I also worry that people just find me annoying or needy etc and I have to be liked.

i am looking for ways to cope with this and get better control.

I currently go go to the gym, I speak to my mum about it, I have a dog who is a huge comfort it is just all me.

2 Replies 2

PamelaR
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi LH and welcome to our community forums

It pleasing to see you've found your way here. Well done.You've covered a lot of things in your post. I'll try to cover everything.

From what you say it seems you're not sure if you're stressed, have anxiety or some other issue. There's an anxiety depression checklist on our webpage that asks some questions. You could use this to get an initial idea, however, I'd be more inclined to go to suggest you go to your doctor to discuss how your feeling and if appropriate get a referral to a health professional, e.g. psychologist.

Loss of financial security is always a worry. So you're not alone there. If you want - do a search on our website to see what others are saying. The search field is at the top of the page. Some of the keywords you could use for searching include - financial, financial security, financial stress.

When you say you strong feelings you have no friends / people don't like you, what is it that makes you say that. You've talked about your future mother in law favouring your partner's brother's wife. Though how you've come to that conclusion perhaps needs to be talked through with someone who can help put perspective on the matter. For example, are you able to talk with your partner about your feelings? Alternatively you say you talk with your mother - could she help you?

I have PTSD, anxiety and depression. I know that I have spent my life thinking / feeling I know what others think of me. My psychologist has helped me work through this and helped me to STOP -

  • overgeneralising
  • jumping to conclusions - mindreading, fortune telling
  • self blaming
  • discounting the positives

It isn't easy to STOP, but it is doable - after many years of focussed therapy. My self esteem and self worth have increased dramatically.

Hope some of this helps LH. Keep reaching out if and when you want to.

Kind regards

PamelaR

Peppermintbach
Valued Contributor
Valued Contributor

Hi LH,

You sound like you have a lot going on. I’m getting a sense that you’re (understandably) feeling stressed and overwhelmed...I’m glad Pamela has kindly responded with her practical suggestions 🙂

I think with the financial side, maybe just tackle one thing at a time for now. It sounds like perhaps trying to have everything all planned out might be a bit much so maybe just tackle one thing at a time, starting with perhaps the wedding...then the next thing and then the next...

I personally think it’s really hard if a person constantly questions and doubts whether others like them or not, etc, etc. I feel the self doubt can really hurt...it’s not a pleasant feeling at all...

I can’t help but wonder if there are underlying issues that is feeding into the self doubt. For example, some people constantly question whether others like them because of childhood issues (not saying that this is you as I’m just giving an example).

I suppose what I’m getting at is maybe underneath your self doubt, etc, there are deeper issues (or maybe not). Perhaps this is something you might like to consider exploring with a psychologist or GP or counsellor. Just a gentle idea...

Good on you for reaching out here. Some people find writing cathartic so feel free to write in as often as you like. That being said, there’s no pressure...only if you want to.

kind and caring thoughts,

Pepper