What to do when it seems you have exhausted your support network?

[Eshizmi]

Hi.

I recently joined beyond blue as I feel I need to outsource further support. I have slowly started to feel like my family are growing tired and expressing the need for more boundaries. As a result of this when I feel anxious or down from my Bipolar I no longer feel comfortable going to one of them. Instead I take it on board myself. I know that I can only cope so long like this so eventually I will buckle but I am also aware that people have a limit. The hard thing is accepting for myself that this is life long, which means it is life long for them also. I don’t want to be the one who holds people back. I feel for my husband as it was after our first year of marriage that I became mentally unwell. He didn’t choose this life but because he is a good man he has stuck by me. I feel guilty. I don’t want people to avoid me because I exhaust them. I am seeking advice about what else is out there, please?

[quirkywords]

Eshizmi,

welcome to the forum. This is a very friendly caring and supportive network. I know writing your first post so well done for reaching out.

I can understand how you feel you don't want to exhaust your husband and your family and realise they have limitations but you also know you will need support over a long period of time.

I was diagnosed with bipolar over 40 years ago, I know how important it is to getting the balance with self help and getting support from others.

I am not sure how long you have had the diagnosis, or if you are on medication and use other therapies like CBT.

I understand if your family feels tired but I am guessing they would want to know when you are struggling.

Your husband loves you, and wants to have you in his life.

I am lucky that my medication has stabilised me but I also work hard to stay well.

Briefly I follow the four Hs, Health, Honesty, Humour and Hope.

Health means to look after my physical health and mental health with diet and exercise and knowing when you need to rest.

Honesty, being honest with myself and others and getting help when I need to.

Humour, this takes time but I find not taking myself too seriously and seeing the funny side at time.

Hope- this is so important. Even at my lowest I had hope things will get better.

There is a thread here called This bipolar life and it is a friendly place where people with bipolar can chat ask questions or just hang out. You are most welcome to come and have a look.

I have already written a lot.

Feel free to ask questions .

I suppose to sum up, I learnt as much as I could about my illness and kept detailed records of my moods. The more we know about our mental health the more we can help ourselves and help others to help us.

Also if you have one or two people you trust implicitly, you can go and just have a rave to, no matter how bad you feel. You may not ever need them or you may need them quite abit but knowing they are there for you and also you can be there for them.

Take care and welcome.

Quirky

[Natalia123]

Hi Eshizmi,

I think its normal to feel guilty about having to turn to others, I too understand how you feel in terms of not wanting to keep turning to the same support system.

It is great that you have reached out hear and there are lots of supportive people.

I hear that you feel you are holding people back and this sounds like a difficult time.

Take time process and one step at a time.