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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Cantthinka Struggling to coparent, with #4 on the way
  • replies: 1

I am really struggling at the momemt. I am 4.5mmths pregnant with my 4th child. I have two older kids from a previous relationship, (13,10), and now two to my current partner (14months and due september). I love my partner and he is a fantastic Dad a... View more

I am really struggling at the momemt. I am 4.5mmths pregnant with my 4th child. I have two older kids from a previous relationship, (13,10), and now two to my current partner (14months and due september). I love my partner and he is a fantastic Dad and Stepdad. Im just really struggling being a mum to little ones again and coparenting. I seperated from my ex when my 2nd child was only 18months old, so I mostly raised my kids as a single Mum, and I reckon I did alright. Going through the baby/toddler stages again is so much harder than I remember. It was supposed to be easier this time around. I thought I would have a partner that could share the load, and I didnt think I would be as stressed financially this time. My partner has now gone back on the farm, which means he cannot look after kids while Im at work and I find I once again have the majority of the childcare, housework, cooking, shopping and general running of the house, budget etc. plus I work three days a week. Im finding I can actually deal with this ok, but as soon as he gets home, I lose it, something snaps. I am so angry with him. Why is it easier for me to do this by myself, and harder when he is here? mentally I have been really uo and down this pregnancy, Ive had postnatal depression before, but the lowest I have ever felt has been in this pregnancy, im sure its just hormones.

Saz86 Continuing marriage after affair-I feel trapped
  • replies: 14

My husband and I have been married 8 years and have 2 kids together. A year ago I discovered after he didn't come home one night that he was having an affair. It was months of texting and phone calls behind my back and then this one night. He never c... View more

My husband and I have been married 8 years and have 2 kids together. A year ago I discovered after he didn't come home one night that he was having an affair. It was months of texting and phone calls behind my back and then this one night. He never came clean, I found out from a friend who knew the other girl and actually contacted her. She told me everything including screenshots of all their conversations. He led her to believe he was separated and wanted to be with her. I initially moved out with the kids, but have found myself back in our home. Things aren't the same. He is very remorseful, said he will do anything to make it up to me and for the most part he has been really good. He's a very good looking guy, gets lots of attention and people always love him. The trust for me is gone. My feelings for him have changed, I don't want to be physical with him and suddenly everything about him annoys me. I have tried to stay for the kids. They love him and he loves them. But I can't go on living like this. Every time he texts or makes a call or is away from home I always think the worst. He doesn't make me feel secure or loved. Has anyone stayed and had a successful marriage after an affair?

WJW In a relationship with a habitual liar
  • replies: 14

I have been in a relationship for 8 years with a habitual liar. He is aware that I know about his condition and he says he is "working on it". He still continues to lie. I am at the point of not knowing whether he is telling the truth or lying...so I... View more

I have been in a relationship for 8 years with a habitual liar. He is aware that I know about his condition and he says he is "working on it". He still continues to lie. I am at the point of not knowing whether he is telling the truth or lying...so I just assume that most of what he says are lies. We do not have a physical relationship any more. It has definitely negatively impacted on our relationship. We have been to see a counsellor about his lying and how it is impacting on our relationship. After our first and only counselling session, the counsellor recommend that we should see someone else, as she thought she was not in a position to help with our particular issue. I am willing to see another counsellor, but not so my partner. He said he would prefer to work on it himself. I know he has deep-rooted emotional scars from childhood...scars that I believe need to be address professional first. He is a good person, but his lying is destroying my faith in him.

mrpdad My mind is all over the place
  • replies: 5

Hi, Very new to this. My situation is very complicated and I'm really struggling with where my heads at. I'm predominantly a very closed off person and don't let many in, it spans back a lot to when I was a child and I lost my mum at 16 from a long b... View more

Hi, Very new to this. My situation is very complicated and I'm really struggling with where my heads at. I'm predominantly a very closed off person and don't let many in, it spans back a lot to when I was a child and I lost my mum at 16 from a long battle with cancer, a month after she died my sister moved away to go to uni (I only ever knew living with my mum and sister) so my cousin (who is like my brother) moved in with me but then left after a year to take up a brilliant job offer, it made me very sceptical about everything as it felt like everyone always seem to leave me for whatever reason. Fast forward to now, and 2 years ago I separated from my wife. we have 2 young children (less than 10) and pretty much the first year apart I spent trying to rebuild myself and ensuring that my girls were protected more than anything. I got to a point where I wanted to get out and meet new people as I didn't grow up in Australia and do not have much of a circle of friends so I got out to a meetup group which was great. 2 weeks later I got a call to say that the girls mum had been involved in a serious accident and was in a coma. I pretty much dropped everything to be there for my girls, working full time and being a 100% dad to 2 emotionally drained girls was really really hard and tiring. Their mum was in hospital for 9 months and is unlikely to recover completely so its likely that I will always be the primary parent which I'm fine with. Her and her parents have a hold over me as we never got around to separate our assets and they treat the house that I am back living in (the previous family home which I moved back into when the accident occurred) but they treat it as their own and give me very little privacy. Home life is really draining due to this and I've made the decision recently that I need to sell the house urgently in order to try and move forward with my life. What complicates further and what is really messing with my head, is that for a long time I've felt that love will never happen for me at least until my kids are grown up until I met someone that was perfect, we started out as friends when she had a boyfriend, but she was not happy with him and split up with him and we started seeing each other more (as friends initially) but it soon got a lot more than that.

Melba123 Sad
  • replies: 1

Hi I feel like my family is imploding I am now arguing with my wife of 18 years my oldest daughter is fighting with her. My daughter says she is sad herself she says (to me that Mum hates her) My wife feels that I don’t have her back. I feel like I h... View more

Hi I feel like my family is imploding I am now arguing with my wife of 18 years my oldest daughter is fighting with her. My daughter says she is sad herself she says (to me that Mum hates her) My wife feels that I don’t have her back. I feel like I have to pick a side. I don’t want to pick a side. I want everyone to get along. I feel whatever I do is wrong. Its tearing me up. I don’t know what to do.

alcoop Is it just me?
  • replies: 2

I was recently diagnosed with depression, and I've found that I'm constantly trying to lean on others for support because I can't support myself at the moment. The people I do lean on, I feel like I'm a toxic drug to them and it's only a certain matt... View more

I was recently diagnosed with depression, and I've found that I'm constantly trying to lean on others for support because I can't support myself at the moment. The people I do lean on, I feel like I'm a toxic drug to them and it's only a certain matter of time before people realise I'm a lost cause and not worth knowing? Does anyone else feel like this? I find myself trying to tell people everything that is wrong with me telling them that it's better that they don't know me, but deep down I just want someone to realise I'm lying and I intact need them more than anything. I feel like I'm trying to punch myself and I don't understand why?

Cahi Bipolar boyfriend out of no where left me!
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone I'm hoping I can get some help from here So I have been dating a guy for 6 months (we've known each other since kids) we started off just talking as friends, but quickly started to develop feelings for each other! Once he realised he was ... View more

Hi everyone I'm hoping I can get some help from here So I have been dating a guy for 6 months (we've known each other since kids) we started off just talking as friends, but quickly started to develop feelings for each other! Once he realised he was falling for me he opened up to me and told me he had bipolar which caused him to sometimes go through fazes where he wouldn't want to talk to anyone. He then would always say that he wasn't ready for a relationship/commitment any time soon but he really liked me so he would constantly ask me to be patient with him and that he would one day give me what I wanted (a relationship) Anyway everything has been amazing, we have the best connection and just get along so great. He has told me on a number of occasions I make him so happy and he hopes I'm not going any where... Now just the other day he was at work I hadn't heard from him which was unusual cause he usually messages me every morning and through out the day, I messaged him to see how his day was going and he responded letting me know he wasn't having a good day and he wasn't wanting to speak to any one... Me being stupid and not understand bipolar properly I got offended that he didn't want to talk to me! So I persisted with messaging him throughout the day trying to get him to talk to me! I never got any responses.. and then I called him the next day and he told me that he can't give me what I Want, he can't commit to me and that we were over.... I've been absolutely beside myself, haven't stopped crying for 2 days.. everything was perfect as he even said he was so happy.. now I'm scared I've pushed him away forever! Also he mentioned to me that he just suddenly stopped taking his meds about 3 weeks ago.... could this have something to do with this? Does any one else have experience with not wanting commitment while having bipolar? I would appreciate any advise! I am so lost We had made so many future plans together.. he even booked a holiday for us to go away at Christmas! How can he just walk away like this!?

Marc7 Not coping with breakup
  • replies: 2

It's been 6 months since my girlfriend and I broke up. We had a disfunctional relationship it was very on and off all the time, a bit obsessive due to cumulative baggage we brought in. After a few months apart I let go of everything so I thought. I f... View more

It's been 6 months since my girlfriend and I broke up. We had a disfunctional relationship it was very on and off all the time, a bit obsessive due to cumulative baggage we brought in. After a few months apart I let go of everything so I thought. I felt ok. I dropped all the baggage and then I just had this huge relapse where now that I'd let go of everything I didn't have my girl. Now I was in a position to be in a committed relationship and happy and i was too late. She projected such a huge amount of anger st me for wasted time and how hurt she was and refused to meet or talk to me only text. I know it was a disfunctional relationship then but we loved each other deeply. I tried to get her back and just made her angrier. Then she said she was seeing someone else. This girl that loved me so deeply was already seeing someone 4 months later. She hates being alone. I should of known. She so angry at me and spiteful in her exchanges and all I feel is regret for not committing earlier and sorting my shit out then. All I feel is a huge sense of loss and love for her. I miss her all the time. It's pathetic. Now she has blocked me, won't talk to me. And I just feel this huge sense of loss. I can't stop thinking about it all and I'm trying to carry on with work and everything but I'm so depressed about it. I start crying and random shit on the tv. I don't know how she could do it. I don't want to feel this way but I just feel lonely and awful all of the time. Any good stories of recovery from anyone? Of bouncing back. I'm so up and down. The ups and good and the downs are so low. Just doesn't seem to go away.

Lulule Confused about husbands feelings
  • replies: 6

I’ve been with my husband almost 8 years and he has always when we fight said he doesn’t love me , never did , packs his stuff , then all settles down and he says he never meant it and expects me to just get over it. This has left me very insecure in... View more

I’ve been with my husband almost 8 years and he has always when we fight said he doesn’t love me , never did , packs his stuff , then all settles down and he says he never meant it and expects me to just get over it. This has left me very insecure in our relationship and over the years have questioned him about cheating on me because I’ve never been able to feel secure because the frequency of him telling me this all the time ive been at a low point in my life for about a year now battling with depression and PTSD, family issues due to childhood trauma has been a major stressor since September last year, we have had a terrible time and my husband had a motor bike accident in January leaving him immobile for 3 months, this last few weeks have been really bad where he seems so irritated at me , he has told me he doesn’t love me, hasn’t for ages, I annoy him, all this negative stuff he feels toward me and then he takes it all back expects me to just get over it and I can’t talk to him about it , then the next day he acts all nice telling me how much he loves me etc etc then that same day I will hear it all Over again with more detail each time and more things he can’t stand about me, I’m emotionally drained and confused beyond belief , the inconsistency is unbearable , he will look me dead in the eye and tell me he doesn’t love me. I feel he doesn’t I really do but then he tries to convince me he does and because I obviously don’t know what to believe he gets the shits that I can’t accept what he’s saying , we have another fight and I hear all the same thing again he told me as well that he is only here because he feels I’m not mentally strong enough to cope if he left and because of the kids, he is over the shit with my family he said it’s not what he signed up for I feel it’s inevitable I’ve asked him to just stop with the games, he keeps bringing up about me accusing him of cheating , I feel what’s coming next is him telling me he has cheated and that I pushed him to it

CaptainPickles New relationship confused
  • replies: 3

I started a new relationship on the 17th of November 2017 and we moved in together to her place in Jan 2018. So we've been living together for almost 4 months now. Her place is a 2 bed apartment and the second bedroom is rented out to guests. So we r... View more

I started a new relationship on the 17th of November 2017 and we moved in together to her place in Jan 2018. So we've been living together for almost 4 months now. Her place is a 2 bed apartment and the second bedroom is rented out to guests. So we really only have our bedroom and the lounge. Now currently our routine is I come home from work, then we spend time together in bed, watch netflix, then cook dinner, then more Netflix, she'll usually be playing games on her phone while we watch shows. I have Wednesdays and Sundays off and I usually try and organise something for us to do together but I find it hard as usually she'll sleep in on those days until 11:00-12:00 otherwise we usually just watch tv and I try to keep the apartment clean, groceries restocked and things. I'm used to being very active in regards to always working on little projects, writing, drawing but now I just seem to do nothing, I feel anxious if I try and do things without involving her. She seems happy and never complains about anything, tells me she loves all the time and is just the sweetest gal, I'm just kind of confused. My previous partners have always complained to me about things, so I would always be busy fixing things, I have said this to her and she says isn't it great you don't have to do that and smiles and gives me a wink, she's so cute. I'd just like some advice