Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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AmyFrank Feeling Lost
  • replies: 2

Recently my husband told me he wants us to split up. We fight a lot, but most of the time somehow I am to blame. For example, if I bring up the fact that he hasn't paid me any attention for a while and it would be nice if he just asked how my day was... View more

Recently my husband told me he wants us to split up. We fight a lot, but most of the time somehow I am to blame. For example, if I bring up the fact that he hasn't paid me any attention for a while and it would be nice if he just asked how my day was, this will produce a defensive reaction out of him (not my intention) and it ends up in a fight because I end up having to defend why I brought up something that is troubling me. We have been together for almost 10 years, and the amount of times I have been there for him and stayed positive with his ups and downs, has shown nothing in terms of the way he treats me. I feel lonely around him, because I want him to care for me and show me some form affection, a smile, a hug, something... Despite all that, I keep fighting to make us better, I keep trying to help us, but I can't seem to get it through to him that it requires hard work from both sides. When he told me he wants us to split up, it broke my heart. I let him be, I didn't react negatively. Somehow the situation has gotten worse, and to cut a long story short, he has recently told me that he hates me and for me to continue to stay out of his way. This came out of me simply trying to talk to him. I'm finding it very difficult to cope at the moment. I guess part the reason is that other parts of life aren't going to plan either, but the biggest piece stressing me out and getting me down at the moment is this. I suppose any bit of advice from anyone would be appreciated...

Assaad Need help winning a woman’s heart
  • replies: 1

Hey guys I’m 25 and as I was young I never had much confidence and when I was 19 that all changed I made sure I was always walking with my head held high and i would always chase what I wanted and I always got it now I got introduced to this girl abo... View more

Hey guys I’m 25 and as I was young I never had much confidence and when I was 19 that all changed I made sure I was always walking with my head held high and i would always chase what I wanted and I always got it now I got introduced to this girl about 3 weeks ago and we always hang out as we have mutual friends and I love her personality she’s actually my dream girl so I’ve done all the right things always heaving her hand and walking with her but she’ll pull away sometimes I make her laugh like you wouldn’t believe I always but her stuff like heaps of food if we go out everything’s on me I get her cute gifts I take her everywhere but she always comes with her bestie which happens to be our mutual friend and we have gone out once together but was just like 30 minutes and she didn’t talk to me much I have tried every thing to get her to show some affection towards me but noting but she does drop hints like she’ll try and tease me she’ll give me the cheeky winks but nothing seems to work I played the nice guy and nothing I played the serious guy nothing worked I went in the middle and that failed I know how to make girls fall in love with me I always get the girl I want and with her nothing girls normally chase me but I feel like I lose my cool around her as she’s everything I want in a woman from personality to body type to even her hair I don’t know what to do I’m lost every time I hug her she’s like stop like wth lol how am I going to make this girl fall I love with me so we can move forward

Only_me Need help and advice please
  • replies: 1

I have recently separated from my husband and kids due to financial issues with my husband. He had his own business and had a gambling problem and the kids aged 18 and 20 did nothing around the house, my husband worked away so I was already lonely an... View more

I have recently separated from my husband and kids due to financial issues with my husband. He had his own business and had a gambling problem and the kids aged 18 and 20 did nothing around the house, my husband worked away so I was already lonely and it all blew up again and he told me to get out and I said I should have left..... so I did. I now have my own house but it is so quiet and lonely. I miss my family so so much and none of them contact me, I was the problem arguing to fix the problems. I love my husband and we were together for 21 years and I'm really hating myself at the moment and don't even respect myself. How do I try to find a little peace with myself, I have been told by close family that I did the right thing ( they know everything about us) but I feel I have lost everything and I so want my family back but it takes time and even then they might never care. Struggling to move on, just want to go to sleep for 6 months until the pain goes away. So sad and heartbroken, feeling lost.

Soraismycactus Nothing is going right
  • replies: 1

hi I’m really new to this site. But I’ve heard of the support people get. As you probably have read the title, I feel like nothing is going right. my best friend and I who promised to tell each other everything we are in a rocky place because of a gu... View more

hi I’m really new to this site. But I’ve heard of the support people get. As you probably have read the title, I feel like nothing is going right. my best friend and I who promised to tell each other everything we are in a rocky place because of a guy. My parents are using me to tell all their problems too and always expect me to choose what to do for them, they are currently asking me if they should get divorced or stay together. my brother lost his virginity to a girl, and can’t see that she is toxic for him and he is toxic for her. Because he is scared to lose the sex. the rest of my family members know and I don’t know how to react to that. but all I want to do is run away, I just want travel somewhere else and just never come back. And I think I would if it I hadn’t bought a dog and I would never leave him. Ontop of all of this I don’t frel like myself, everything in my life is just becoming something that I wish I never have to get up too. I don’t want to dress up anymore or go out or do any of the things that makes me happy. What should I do? Is it selfish for me to want to go away?

littlewalrus I can't deal with my housemates.
  • replies: 1

None of the housemates I've had over the years have been perfect but these two were once my only friends. They didn't judge me for ending up on the dole after graduating from uni like my parents did. They used to want to spend time with me. But it's ... View more

None of the housemates I've had over the years have been perfect but these two were once my only friends. They didn't judge me for ending up on the dole after graduating from uni like my parents did. They used to want to spend time with me. But it's been three years without a job now, I've lost the transport I had and I'm only just avoiding debt. I'm not even getting phone calls back when I send my resume out. So I was sitting at my desk crying. I couldn't stop shaking. One of my housemates walked into the room to get something. And walked straight back out. My boyfriend pays for me to go to a sport. I had to call home for a lift because I nearly feinted and couldn't stop shaking. The other housemate answered and as soon as he heard crying he put the phone down and went for my boyfriend. He didn't even ask if I was okay. Not on the phone. Not when I walked through the door. Am I crazy, or are these abnormal reactions to a friend of 5 years diagnosed with anxiety and depression shaking on the floor? It's like they aren't my friend. And today they asked if I would put some money towards a house project. Where do they think I was going to get it from? Is everything going in one ear and out the other? I am so alone.

NomzieG Lost...!
  • replies: 3

G'day all! December just gone, my Grandmother passed away (my Fathers mother). In the last few to several years, my family on both my Father and Mother's sides have hated and have judged me for who I've become and who my Mother is. My Mother was diag... View more

G'day all! December just gone, my Grandmother passed away (my Fathers mother). In the last few to several years, my family on both my Father and Mother's sides have hated and have judged me for who I've become and who my Mother is. My Mother was diagnosed with Bipolar back in 2003 and my Father, he has no mental health problems as far as I know. I never thought that I would be pushed away and treated as nothing when my Grandmother passes away, I was wrong. Here I am sitting here wondering what went wrong. I thought i would be there everyday helping my Grandmother and supporting her while she was unwell, I was told she was not in a good way a week or 2 before she passed and I did get to stay goodbye which I am happy about. I don't know how true it was but apparently my Grandmother "didn't want a funeral and just wanted to be cremated". Going back under 3 years ago, my uncle passed (my grandmothers son) and I wasn't told and missed his funeral. Maybe this is why they all hate me so much.. I really don't know. I feel so rejected and not part of the family, mind you I'm the only grandchild. I'm so upset and hurt. I feel like I have had no support in this time. I always thought i would have that support and love but i was wrong, completely wrong. Now my Grandmother has passed, I'm literally nothing.. my own father doesn't talk to me and don't get me starting with my mother. All I want is to have my Grandmother back and to have somewhere to call a home.

Beebeebee I love her too much
  • replies: 13

I am in a relationship for 5 yrs. We love each other very much, she is my best friend and vice versa. At first when i met her she has low self esteem but i managed to boost her confidence. She is one hell of a happy lady i ever met. Just last year i ... View more

I am in a relationship for 5 yrs. We love each other very much, she is my best friend and vice versa. At first when i met her she has low self esteem but i managed to boost her confidence. She is one hell of a happy lady i ever met. Just last year i got a job and i had to relocate eventho she was hurting she supported me through it and she was so happy for me that i got a job of my dream. At the early stage of my relocation things were going on well. Until last August we had our very first argument and i literally texted her let quit. And for the very first time in our 5 yrs we didnt call or text each other and that lasted for 6 days. When i finally did all she said was why did i take so long to call. I realised that i didnt treat her well so i quickly got a transfer back to her. But things werent the same since that day. She completely shut down, she isolated her self, tge sight of me irritates her, she doesnt eat but gained weight. She told me she lost feelings for me. Nothing excited her any more. She said she is unhappy and something inside her is broken. We do text everyday but she refuse to hang with me or see me. I asked her if she wanted to see a counsellor, she told me shell think about it and let me knoe if she is ready to open up to a stranger. Since yesterday she hadnt reply my text i called her once she didnt pick up. I need your help. I dnt want to loose her. The only person she hangs out with now is my sister but she is out of the country. I want to help her, her unhappiness is killing me. I just want her to be alright. I know if she is alright things would come back to normal.

YarniMarni Unrequited love with complications
  • replies: 4

This problem is engulfing my life right now and causing me enormous amounts of anxiety and intense sadness. I've been looking for somewhere or someone I can talk to so am now trying here. I'm in love with one of my best friends. I'm 99% sure she is n... View more

This problem is engulfing my life right now and causing me enormous amounts of anxiety and intense sadness. I've been looking for somewhere or someone I can talk to so am now trying here. I'm in love with one of my best friends. I'm 99% sure she is not at all interested in being more than friends. This is a very common problem but that doesn't make the pain less real. It is a roller-coaster ride where spending time with her is euporhic, time apart is painful, and hearing about her with other guys is soul crushing. I don't feel like I can talk to her about because a) I don't want to destroy our friendship and b) bottom line I want her to have what she wants above all else, and as far as I can tell what she wants is for things to stay the same. I am not entitled to her affection. Her and I are both part of a small and close-knit group of friends, and I feel if I reveal my feelings and how much pain it causes me to any of them, the awkwardness of further interactions is going to destroy our group which is the last thing I want. So here I am in constant pain with no one to talk to and nothing to do about it.

Lonelyness I feel like nobody in my family likes me.
  • replies: 3

My parents are getting a divorce which my mother asked for a year or so ago and after my dad had moved out I don't think me loves me anymore. I saw my friend the other day and she was with me for longer than I had seen my dad in 2 weeks. My brother i... View more

My parents are getting a divorce which my mother asked for a year or so ago and after my dad had moved out I don't think me loves me anymore. I saw my friend the other day and she was with me for longer than I had seen my dad in 2 weeks. My brother is overly dramatic and has anger issues and my mum doesn't understand me and I don't feel like I can let her in. I've never felt suicidal but I also don't think things will get better. I see a therapist but she doesn't help much either. In basically just lost and lonely.

Pineapple_head Partner left me due to possible anxiety
  • replies: 7

Hi, am hoping for some opinions in hope of finding closure as I'm struggling with my mental health as a result of this. 2 mths ago my partner of 3 years broke up with me. We had a fantastic relationship built on solid foundations of trust & love. We ... View more

Hi, am hoping for some opinions in hope of finding closure as I'm struggling with my mental health as a result of this. 2 mths ago my partner of 3 years broke up with me. We had a fantastic relationship built on solid foundations of trust & love. We laughed a lot & clicked in a way that she nor I have ever experienced. She herself still says all of that now, which is why I'm so confused. About 6 months ago she moved in. This was during a stressful period in her life as she is in the police academy. Living together felt easy but due to her work we were unable to spend quality time together. I'd spend my days contemplating what I could do to help her destress in the evenings. I'd cook for her & try to make her feel special. Then I'd leave her to do her study. On coming to bed she would be distant & not converse. It was a routine of checking facebook meticulously & then sleeping. I figured all was ok as she would hold me all night upon turning the light out. I thought we were okay. Fast forward to a few months later. I went to USA for 5 weeks. She kissed me goodbye at the airport & kept in touch via text. Just before I got home she even suggested that if I were to propose to her, she would say yes. On arriving home however, she wasn't excited to see me. I asked if everything is ok with us & she hesitantly said she doesn't know how she feels about us anymore. She feels detached from everyone so it could just be anxiety causing it, or she's fallen out of love. She wasn't certain she wanted to break up but we ended it. Over the next 2 months we caught up. She said she'd made a big mistake & wanted to fix us. Then she was confused again. Then she'd say she still loves & misses me. She said that in those last months we were together & while I was overseas, she felt so anxious that her head felt like it was going to explode, she felt irritable & tired & just wanted to be alone. She even read up on hypervigilance & said that she related with the withdrawals this causes in a person's home environment. She said it feels right when we catch up, she doesn't want to close the door on our amazing relationship. I was so stupid & should've cut it off as yesterday she said she still doesn't know how she feels & that I shouldn't wait anymore. My issue is that she won't give me any reasoning. She maintains that she doesn't know why, even though I'm perfect for her. I don't know how to get over this without any closure. I am so depressed that all I want is to sleep & cry.