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Bipolar boyfriend out of no where left me!

Community Member
Hi everyone I'm hoping I can get some help from here

So I have been dating a guy for 6 months (we've known each other since kids) we started off just talking as friends, but quickly started to develop feelings for each other!
Once he realised he was falling for me he opened up to me and told me he had bipolar which caused him to sometimes go through fazes where he wouldn't want to talk to anyone.

He then would always say that he wasn't ready for a relationship/commitment any time soon but he really liked me so he would constantly ask me to be patient with him and that he would one day give me what I wanted (a relationship)

Anyway everything has been amazing, we have the best connection and just get along so great. He has told me on a number of occasions I make him so happy and he hopes I'm not going any where...

Now just the other day he was at work I hadn't heard from him which was unusual cause he usually messages me every morning and through out the day, I messaged him to see how his day was going and he responded letting me know he wasn't having a good day and he wasn't wanting to speak to any one...
Me being stupid and not understand bipolar properly I got offended that he didn't want to talk to me! So I persisted with messaging him throughout the day trying to get him to talk to me! I never got any responses.. and then I called him the next day and he told me that he can't give me what I Want, he can't commit to me and that we were over....

I've been absolutely beside myself, haven't stopped crying for 2 days.. everything was perfect as he even said he was so happy.. now I'm scared I've pushed him away forever!

Also he mentioned to me that he just suddenly stopped taking his meds about 3 weeks ago.... could this have something to do with this?

Does any one else have experience with not wanting commitment while having bipolar?

I would appreciate any advise! I am so lost
We had made so many future plans together.. he even booked a holiday for us to go away at Christmas!
How can he just walk away like this!?

2 Replies 2

Community Member

Hi Cahi,

I'm glad you found someone so unique and hope your arrangement with him can continue. I commend you getting this far with him, and I'm sure you know bipolar can be a tricky thing. Depending on the diagnosis the ups/downs can be quite severe.

It's often hard to determine whether he was himself or the bipolar was speaking, remember to make sure you're okay before dealing with this issue.

You said you've been beside yourself for two days, have you tried speaking to him today? I wouldn't recommend diving straight in, but more slow approach 'are you okay?' 'how are you?' basic such as that.

RE: "Also he mentioned to me that he just suddenly stopped taking his meds about 3 weeks ago.... could this have something to do with this? " That could definitely affect him, Do you have any contact with his family? GP, or Psychologist?

Best of Luck

Regards C.

Community Member

Just to add to that, Support channels are available:

  • https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/get-immediate-support
  • http://www.blackdoginstitute.org.au/
  • https://www.sane.org/
  • If there is an immediate danger, please contact emergency services on 000.