Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Longroad wife left after 23 years.I am not coping
  • replies: 2

hi, I am new here and 3 months ago my wife told me she is leaving as she doesn't love me anymore.I had no idea it was coming.she told me a week before my 50th birthday.After the initial shock,I am now struggling with panic attacks anxiety and depress... View more

hi, I am new here and 3 months ago my wife told me she is leaving as she doesn't love me anymore.I had no idea it was coming.she told me a week before my 50th birthday.After the initial shock,I am now struggling with panic attacks anxiety and depression. My GP put me on medication which made things worse.I am now on a different medication which is easier for me to adjust to.I am trying to come to terms with the fact she is not coming back.I lost 12 kilos in 3 months and have insomnia.can anyone tell me about their experience with insomnia and anxiety or antidepressants? Can I expect to feel better soon I started 2 weeks ago on the new AD. I also meditate everyday to calm the anxiety.Any suggestions on ways to cope is welcomed.It's like being paralysed.I find everything so hard and have lost my energy.

Loosing_it_35 Stay or go?
  • replies: 1

Hi everyone. I am married with kids, I never really wanted kids. I love my kids and I'd do anything for them. However I feel weighted down by kids and marriage. I have this overwhelming sense of responsibility and I don't want to walk away a fail the... View more

Hi everyone. I am married with kids, I never really wanted kids. I love my kids and I'd do anything for them. However I feel weighted down by kids and marriage. I have this overwhelming sense of responsibility and I don't want to walk away a fail them. I had always been a free spirit and we weren't together very long before we had kids so I feel like we missed out on valuable time together. I now I feel like I'm locked down and I can't do the things I used to. My new doctor won't medicate me and says I need to talk to a Phsychologist but i really don't want to... my old Phsychologist I had a great bond with but she's 3.5 hrs away... do I need to just suck it up and soldier on for my kids?

AnnaPixel Dealing with divorce as a teenager/student
  • replies: 4

Hi, I don't know if anyone will see this but I wanted advice, or at least someone to talk to. A few months ago (3 or 4?) my parents told me they were getting a divorce, I am 17 years old and still live with them and my younger sister. It was pretty m... View more

Hi, I don't know if anyone will see this but I wanted advice, or at least someone to talk to. A few months ago (3 or 4?) my parents told me they were getting a divorce, I am 17 years old and still live with them and my younger sister. It was pretty much a shock to me, whether through my own willful ignorance or just not noticing how they had grown distant from each other. I've felt just so, so bad ever since and I either want to cry or sleep all the time. This year is my last in high school and I just want to focus on my studies but I can't even motivate myself to get up before 1pm and the holidays will end soon. I started to fall behind in schoolwork and now I've got exams which actually count to my stupid ATAR to worry about. I just want to do well but if last term is anything to go by, I feel like I'll just get home every day after school and waste time apathetically on my phone or cry instead of actually working. I also found it really difficult to concentrate on work in class, just in general. Academics are basically the only thing I can do, and the family issues are affecting that so much. I have no motivation to do any of the things I thought I loved doing - drawing, writing, even lazy things like watching TV seem like they take too much effort. I'm just counting the days until the year ends and I can leave this horrible house. My mum is like "oh if you move to go to uni maybe I'll move with you" which makes me just want to go somewhere so remote she'd never follow me, maybe out of spite lol. I just want to be anywhere else, or just in the future with at least some idea if what I want to do. I don't know, whenever I look up stuff about divorce online it's always from the adults' point of view and I never hear how people my age cope with it. I'm really scared and sad and I just want to go away.

Amity_A venting: My Partner has depression and so do I
  • replies: 1

My girlfriend (26 years old) was diagnosed with depression yesterday after feeling down for over a month. I'm 27 and have battled depression since I was 14. I have been well in control for years but I still have my bad days and periods like anyone. I... View more

My girlfriend (26 years old) was diagnosed with depression yesterday after feeling down for over a month. I'm 27 and have battled depression since I was 14. I have been well in control for years but I still have my bad days and periods like anyone. I'm finding it really hard to see the person I love most feel the way I did. The initial, intense fear and uncertainty. The overwhelming emptiness and frustration. My depression literally nearly killed me and I never want her to feel anywhere close to what I did. Honestly, I'm terrified.

Southernskyes New and confused with my relationships
  • replies: 9

Hey guys ok a very brief overview of my situation... I have been married for 23yrs and have been unhappy for the last 10yrs... i left 18mths ago but He wants the family back...I have been seeing someone who is married and is unhappy too... he hasn’t ... View more

Hey guys ok a very brief overview of my situation... I have been married for 23yrs and have been unhappy for the last 10yrs... i left 18mths ago but He wants the family back...I have been seeing someone who is married and is unhappy too... he hasn’t left his wife yet but says he is only there for the kids... I’m confused at what I should be doing.. I know it sounds so wrong... any advise would be much appreciated... thanks

Bethie Busy lives
  • replies: 3

Hi Well school goes back monday at least in Queensland so my life will yet again be sent into over drive. Normally i go back to work around mid Feb which will be 3 days a week. Mondays are crazy volunteering then driving my son around for school, the... View more

Hi Well school goes back monday at least in Queensland so my life will yet again be sent into over drive. Normally i go back to work around mid Feb which will be 3 days a week. Mondays are crazy volunteering then driving my son around for school, then picking him up from the other side of the city just after 9pm. Alot of crazy city peak hour traffic involved. Tuesday's is all day again with refugees and reception work at community centre. I really need to work on my boundaries. One of my neighbours is a dear old soul but a active alcholic. Im in recovery from drug and alchol addiction and even after 17 years prefer people to not drink in my car but every time she needs a ride somewhere i take her and she opens a can in the car. Ive asked her to please not but i dont think she remembers and i worry she gets so drunk she will fall and hert herself if she catches transport or walks. Knowing how i like spending alone time with my son she now wants to be with me to get him mondays. Its our time. Mother and Son talk time. Hes 14 and needs that with me. Just the same as he goes into the garden and plays criket with his Dad. Thats their thing. Im ranting atm sorry but seriously its Peeing me off big time.

sye How to exist in a marriage?
  • replies: 9

I used the word exist ; as I don't really have a life inside my marriage. I exist in more of an agreement, ie: I go to work I am the provider, I have an extremely high pressure high stress job which I enjoy very much which I am good at as well. Its a... View more

I used the word exist ; as I don't really have a life inside my marriage. I exist in more of an agreement, ie: I go to work I am the provider, I have an extremely high pressure high stress job which I enjoy very much which I am good at as well. Its also a very good distraction for me. Like many people who post here I suffer from anxiety and depression greatly. I am medicated for it accordingly which take the edge off life. I have been off and on meds as in my own way have been trying to convince myself I don't have mental health issues. I am at peace with that now. I will dart around alot of my mind is a messy place but try to get what I want to say across. My marriage is a convenience. I used to love my wife. Somewhere deep down inside is a register of exactly that. But theres no feeling there any more which co-incides with that same register. Well there might be but I think I block it out. I am amazing at blocking things/avoidance tactics as my psych calls it so its there somewhere, just masked. I go to work, I help out around the house (significantly more of late, as my wife works) and try to be a husband who is actually in touch and contributes to the family, take my kids to events and things they do etc while she sleeps and or does other stuff. But after all this I am alone. I am lonely in my marriage. I am disconnected from someone who i married years and years ago and have been with all my life. My marriage (in my eyes) is failing. I sleep in a different place in the house to my wife now. There has not been intimacy in what feels like forever, the last time I tried to initiate it it was turned into a joke so in my own mind at that point I concluded any action to ever try again, ie: I gave up. No I don't feel worthless, yes I am overweight, but I do feel incredibly rejected, and I am angry about it. I would never hit or physically abuse my wife ; I could not do that to another person hell I don't like hurting anything, but I do not have alot of time for her any more, and respect has gone out the window. This is not healthy and born of the continual rejection and now frustration. Sadly I have a high sex drive and she has negative infinity sex drive. So I satisfy myself. That fixes the pleasure bit, however, I am still awfully alone and lack connection that intimacy brings.

Eyzma Communication Stratigies Needed
  • replies: 1

I don’t feel like my mum has time for me, and she doesn’t listen to what I say. Very often our conversations turn into her telling me what’s happening, rather then me answering her “Hows things Question” I always call her, travel to see her and make ... View more

I don’t feel like my mum has time for me, and she doesn’t listen to what I say. Very often our conversations turn into her telling me what’s happening, rather then me answering her “Hows things Question” I always call her, travel to see her and make the effort to see her. However when the responsibility to organise to see each other is on her she tells me she is too tired to drive, or simply doesn’t talk to me or respond to messages. We live about four hours apart however she holidays where I live and she sees a specialist doctor in my local area, she always complains that I never see her but cant tell me when she is in my area or she does tell me but will not answer messages I leave to organise to see her when she’s around. Having left a serious relationship recently she offered help in the form of paying my phone bill however when I asked for help she has left me disappointed, telling me she had her own bills. This answer would be fine however she later posted updates on her California Holiday she had taken my step sister and brothers on without telling myself. She does this often telling me that everyone has their own life, she cant always help. I feel quite abandoned and disappointed and don’t know how to bring it up with her? What could be some conversation strategies I could use?

Anewhopeee Not sure what the best way forward is
  • replies: 2

Hi there. Firstly, this is the first time I’ve posted in a forum such as this. I’m not sure what to expect but felt I needed to talk about it in the hope of at least getting some guidance, so thank you for reading. Ill start by saying I understand ho... View more

Hi there. Firstly, this is the first time I’ve posted in a forum such as this. I’m not sure what to expect but felt I needed to talk about it in the hope of at least getting some guidance, so thank you for reading. Ill start by saying I understand how I have the information is wrong on my behalf and I know that. I can’t change it so I just have to live with it. A week or so ago after stumbling across a text between my girlfriend and her friend we had a large discussion on whether she still wanted to continue the relationship. She did not know I saw the text, just that I had a feeling she wasn’t happy. She decided that we should work on things and I agreed. We we have not been sexually active together in months due to the drifting between us. I believed that we had just become comfortable together and that side of the relationship suffered a bit. flash forward a week and I still felt like something wasn’t right. Again I saw a text from another male (I know reading her texts is wrong and I feel bad about doing so). These texts seem to confirm what I suspected in the first place. The texts were all of a sexual nature and confirmed that there had been bother photos and videos sent as well as at least one occasion where they met up in person. I asked her if she had been seeing anyone, or even texting anyone but she flat out denies it. I know now it’s happened but without her admitting it how do I move forward? Yes, I’ve done the wrong thing but I’m not sure how to deal with what I now know. Any help would be appreciated. I understand if you want to place any judgement onto me for my actions as well.

Anathemation New to Fatherhood, Overwhelmed and Exhausted
  • replies: 13

Hello All, I'm a first time dad, my daughter was born just over a week ago. Now I'm no stranger to anxiety, I have it and for the most part had it conquered. Long-story-short is that I had a rough childhood and worked through PTSD, depression and anx... View more

Hello All, I'm a first time dad, my daughter was born just over a week ago. Now I'm no stranger to anxiety, I have it and for the most part had it conquered. Long-story-short is that I had a rough childhood and worked through PTSD, depression and anxiety through medication and psychologist therapy. So 9 months ago my partner of 2 years told me she was pregnant, and while we were in less than stable circumstances we decided, after much back and forth, to keep the child. The pregnancy in itself was quit good, I found work and my partner finished university and it was quite a stress free time right up until after the birth. Even the birth itself was a calm and exciting event, everything was great with the daughter. She and my partner are happy and healthy. So here is the crux, I am feeling bogglingly overwhelmed by the change. I feel anxious being at home due to not really being able to eliviate my partners stress in feeding around the clock. When I leave home for work I feel a crushing separation, like I'm going to miss something or something will go wrong. For the past 3 days I've been bawling my eyes out at random times, just because I feel like I am being hit by everything all at once. So I guess I'm here to see if there is a light at the end of this anxious tunnel and if anybody else has tackled fatherhood like this. As well as gain any helpful survival tactics to get through this time. I'm glad to be here and to meet you all.