Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Eyzma Communication Stratigies Needed
  • replies: 1

I don’t feel like my mum has time for me, and she doesn’t listen to what I say. Very often our conversations turn into her telling me what’s happening, rather then me answering her “Hows things Question” I always call her, travel to see her and make ... View more

I don’t feel like my mum has time for me, and she doesn’t listen to what I say. Very often our conversations turn into her telling me what’s happening, rather then me answering her “Hows things Question” I always call her, travel to see her and make the effort to see her. However when the responsibility to organise to see each other is on her she tells me she is too tired to drive, or simply doesn’t talk to me or respond to messages. We live about four hours apart however she holidays where I live and she sees a specialist doctor in my local area, she always complains that I never see her but cant tell me when she is in my area or she does tell me but will not answer messages I leave to organise to see her when she’s around. Having left a serious relationship recently she offered help in the form of paying my phone bill however when I asked for help she has left me disappointed, telling me she had her own bills. This answer would be fine however she later posted updates on her California Holiday she had taken my step sister and brothers on without telling myself. She does this often telling me that everyone has their own life, she cant always help. I feel quite abandoned and disappointed and don’t know how to bring it up with her? What could be some conversation strategies I could use?

Anewhopeee Not sure what the best way forward is
  • replies: 2

Hi there. Firstly, this is the first time I’ve posted in a forum such as this. I’m not sure what to expect but felt I needed to talk about it in the hope of at least getting some guidance, so thank you for reading. Ill start by saying I understand ho... View more

Hi there. Firstly, this is the first time I’ve posted in a forum such as this. I’m not sure what to expect but felt I needed to talk about it in the hope of at least getting some guidance, so thank you for reading. Ill start by saying I understand how I have the information is wrong on my behalf and I know that. I can’t change it so I just have to live with it. A week or so ago after stumbling across a text between my girlfriend and her friend we had a large discussion on whether she still wanted to continue the relationship. She did not know I saw the text, just that I had a feeling she wasn’t happy. She decided that we should work on things and I agreed. We we have not been sexually active together in months due to the drifting between us. I believed that we had just become comfortable together and that side of the relationship suffered a bit. flash forward a week and I still felt like something wasn’t right. Again I saw a text from another male (I know reading her texts is wrong and I feel bad about doing so). These texts seem to confirm what I suspected in the first place. The texts were all of a sexual nature and confirmed that there had been bother photos and videos sent as well as at least one occasion where they met up in person. I asked her if she had been seeing anyone, or even texting anyone but she flat out denies it. I know now it’s happened but without her admitting it how do I move forward? Yes, I’ve done the wrong thing but I’m not sure how to deal with what I now know. Any help would be appreciated. I understand if you want to place any judgement onto me for my actions as well.

Anathemation New to Fatherhood, Overwhelmed and Exhausted
  • replies: 13

Hello All, I'm a first time dad, my daughter was born just over a week ago. Now I'm no stranger to anxiety, I have it and for the most part had it conquered. Long-story-short is that I had a rough childhood and worked through PTSD, depression and anx... View more

Hello All, I'm a first time dad, my daughter was born just over a week ago. Now I'm no stranger to anxiety, I have it and for the most part had it conquered. Long-story-short is that I had a rough childhood and worked through PTSD, depression and anxiety through medication and psychologist therapy. So 9 months ago my partner of 2 years told me she was pregnant, and while we were in less than stable circumstances we decided, after much back and forth, to keep the child. The pregnancy in itself was quit good, I found work and my partner finished university and it was quite a stress free time right up until after the birth. Even the birth itself was a calm and exciting event, everything was great with the daughter. She and my partner are happy and healthy. So here is the crux, I am feeling bogglingly overwhelmed by the change. I feel anxious being at home due to not really being able to eliviate my partners stress in feeding around the clock. When I leave home for work I feel a crushing separation, like I'm going to miss something or something will go wrong. For the past 3 days I've been bawling my eyes out at random times, just because I feel like I am being hit by everything all at once. So I guess I'm here to see if there is a light at the end of this anxious tunnel and if anybody else has tackled fatherhood like this. As well as gain any helpful survival tactics to get through this time. I'm glad to be here and to meet you all.

parii91 dealing with husbands split personalities
  • replies: 1

i have been in a relationship for 13 years and had a child and got married at a very young age. i love my husband dearly but at times i feel like he takes advantage of my kindness. our marriage feels like it has become a father daughter relationship ... View more

i have been in a relationship for 13 years and had a child and got married at a very young age. i love my husband dearly but at times i feel like he takes advantage of my kindness. our marriage feels like it has become a father daughter relationship and can be very controlling at times and i do as im told. weve spoken about it so many times but i just feel like he changes for a bit and then reverts back to old habits. we have so many good times together and we get each like no one else. i couldnt think to ever lose him it would shatter my world. im just so drained from carrying the burden of his split personalities and its having a massive effect on my mental state

Anna_Mac Advice needed for relationship
  • replies: 7

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me three weeks ago due to his depression. He said at the time we would never see or talk to each other again, however last week he said he is now going to get online counselling and he won't rule out us getting b... View more

My boyfriend of 8 years broke up with me three weeks ago due to his depression. He said at the time we would never see or talk to each other again, however last week he said he is now going to get online counselling and he won't rule out us getting back together if the counselling goes well. I've decided to leave him be to do his counselling so he can focus on getting well and not feel pressure about us. He said numerous times he doesn't even understand why he ended it but he felt he had too. Has anyone been in a situation like this and is there any advice out there for going forward? Thanks

Guest_1898 Not sure what to do
  • replies: 2

Hey everyone my wife an i have been having a lot of issues, basically i have no idea what im doing wrong, i work a week away at a time to meet our financial needs but every step i take is the wrong one when im home im on eggshells. I work long long h... View more

Hey everyone my wife an i have been having a lot of issues, basically i have no idea what im doing wrong, i work a week away at a time to meet our financial needs but every step i take is the wrong one when im home im on eggshells. I work long long hours an when i get home our child is my resposiblity while im home, i cannot go to see friends as she dislikes them all, i am told im hopeless at doing anything because i cannot clean the house and do things as quickly as she does them also she has told me why should she have to do anything while im home if she can do it while im at work i can do it all while im home if i cannot make decisions as to what to eat or planning what to do for the day she calls me a idiot and argues. It could be a quick make up your mind you idiot or a im not talking to you today. I have noticed she will not get off her phone some nights just disappearing to bed an leaving me alone .if i try an talk while shes on it the phone takes priority. We are trying to find a car to replace our old one but because she cant have what she wants everything else is irrelevant an its my fault i cant buy it for her. I have explained we cannot afford it and we need to buy a cheaper car but its not good enough. It seems everything i do is just not good enough but she gives praise to her friends husband for what he does. I just can't keep up with the jones. Im burnt out an lost, im not sure what to do.

SensibleSummer Support Group Post Breakup
  • replies: 7

Hi, I have just recently separated from my partner. We had been together for quite a number of year. Right now I'm feeling sad, helpless, unloved and unwanted. Would love to know if there's any support group (similar to AA) where I can meet and share... View more

Hi, I have just recently separated from my partner. We had been together for quite a number of year. Right now I'm feeling sad, helpless, unloved and unwanted. Would love to know if there's any support group (similar to AA) where I can meet and share experiences with other people who are in the same situation with me. Thank you.

losingbattle Alcohol and Drug Addiction
  • replies: 3

Male 59 years old. Own business. Entertainment Industry Work is 24/7 Divorced two years ago. No kids. Now drowning in debt.New partner lives with me. Same vintage IT world 3 grown kids 29 30 33 all stable. Becoming her alcohol fuelled ex. I have been... View more

Male 59 years old. Own business. Entertainment Industry Work is 24/7 Divorced two years ago. No kids. Now drowning in debt.New partner lives with me. Same vintage IT world 3 grown kids 29 30 33 all stable. Becoming her alcohol fuelled ex. I have been intimidating angry frightening and worse. Alienating her more every day. Sick of me bitching about work, staff constantly.We don't have conversations anymore. I drink light beer all the time and abuse drugs. She does drugs too but only when I do. Way too much. We never go out together. She goes where and when she likes. Her kids, gym, dinners with girlfriends. I'm always asking what is happening when will she be home long text messages. Borderline out the door. Every day argue about something. Pushing her away and using business cash to finance habits. Cant afford rehab as no phones laptops etc allowed. No self discipline except business Have great shrink but out that door start again. She will start looking for her own place and internet dating again. I will lose it. I am a Disaster waiting to happen Tried AA years ago Flying solo. No support No advice No discipline Only a matter of time business cash flow dies. ATO and finance liquidate me into the gutter Combination of drugs and alcohol to sleep. Or stay awake all night doing admin etc could be done during day if not at pub Doing this tonight instead. She came back from 2 days away for work. Not a civil word spoken Went to bed. Will get to gym in the morning and it will still be going Shrink appointment tomorrow Maybe will help venting. Vicious circle

Caileigh My family is falling apart and so am I
  • replies: 2

In the past four or five months, I've noticed that my parents' relationship has been strained more than usual and I thought nothing of it. It turns out my mum broke up with my dad on his birthday. They've broken up before - when I was eight - but thi... View more

In the past four or five months, I've noticed that my parents' relationship has been strained more than usual and I thought nothing of it. It turns out my mum broke up with my dad on his birthday. They've broken up before - when I was eight - but this time it's a lot worse because I'm older and am noticing things I didn't before. It's also worse because my mum has been cheating on my dad, manipulating him for money and drugs and spending all of our money. Plus my mum decided that she needed his money and conceded to 'having a break' in their relationship while still getting all the benefits of a marriage (even though they're not married). In a short conclusion: I'm now becoming more depressed and anxious than I have ever been before My mum is addicted to multiple drugs (none illegal, I think) My dad is depressed and alone My siblings have no clue what's happening Consequently, I have no one to talk to about this stuff, meaning I feel alone and useless and I've developed emotional detachment from most things So, yeah. I need help and I don't know how to get it. - Caileigh

AmyFrank Feeling Lost
  • replies: 2

Recently my husband told me he wants us to split up. We fight a lot, but most of the time somehow I am to blame. For example, if I bring up the fact that he hasn't paid me any attention for a while and it would be nice if he just asked how my day was... View more

Recently my husband told me he wants us to split up. We fight a lot, but most of the time somehow I am to blame. For example, if I bring up the fact that he hasn't paid me any attention for a while and it would be nice if he just asked how my day was, this will produce a defensive reaction out of him (not my intention) and it ends up in a fight because I end up having to defend why I brought up something that is troubling me. We have been together for almost 10 years, and the amount of times I have been there for him and stayed positive with his ups and downs, has shown nothing in terms of the way he treats me. I feel lonely around him, because I want him to care for me and show me some form affection, a smile, a hug, something... Despite all that, I keep fighting to make us better, I keep trying to help us, but I can't seem to get it through to him that it requires hard work from both sides. When he told me he wants us to split up, it broke my heart. I let him be, I didn't react negatively. Somehow the situation has gotten worse, and to cut a long story short, he has recently told me that he hates me and for me to continue to stay out of his way. This came out of me simply trying to talk to him. I'm finding it very difficult to cope at the moment. I guess part the reason is that other parts of life aren't going to plan either, but the biggest piece stressing me out and getting me down at the moment is this. I suppose any bit of advice from anyone would be appreciated...