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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Scaredy Used to be the life of the party
  • replies: 7

I was a total nerd in high school; never had a boyfriend or any love interest. Went to uni and worked out I was actually quite attractive and could get any guy I wanted, and treated them like garbage. I had loads of friends and partied a lot. A few y... View more

I was a total nerd in high school; never had a boyfriend or any love interest. Went to uni and worked out I was actually quite attractive and could get any guy I wanted, and treated them like garbage. I had loads of friends and partied a lot. A few years later I met a nice man and had kids. I could have stayed at home to raise them, but decided to go back to work because I was bored out of my brain and I had no common interests with the other mums at playgroups etc... I have a couple of close friends but have trouble making new friends. Everyone is just so engrossed in their own lives that no one wants to do anything - they are all too busy. I work in a large organisation. Every time there is a social event - like a breakfast or a lunch - I go missing. I just cannot handle being around so many people and I hate the focus of being provided breakfast etc.... There was a recent staff Xmas party and I lied about not being able to attend. No one invites me to anything. I am really a nice person who would do anything for someone. I have been doing random acts of kindness to people. I help people all the time but no one wants to socialise with me out of work. Everything I do is with my husband and kids. I would love to go out occasionally with a friend but it never eventuates. I think I prefer just to stay at home - its easier.

mcl0014 overthinking/insecurities in relationship
  • replies: 8

I'm worried my insecurities is going to get in between my relationship. sometimes I just feel like I'm extra baggage. I feel like I cant get anything right either, like ill never be good enough, and this isnt because of anything he has done or said t... View more

I'm worried my insecurities is going to get in between my relationship. sometimes I just feel like I'm extra baggage. I feel like I cant get anything right either, like ill never be good enough, and this isnt because of anything he has done or said to make me believe this, this is just purely my own personal issues. but what scares me the most is that because I have these insecurities and fears and I don't know how to conquer them, I'm worried it will get in the way of my relationship. I bring up stupid issues, insignificant problems about other girls, which I know is ridiculous because he is faithful and I trust him but its my own thoughts. i get jealous and sometimes to rest my thoughts i feel i need validation from him. i dont like this feeling and well I just don't know what to do or how to stop this overthinking and worry before it could destroy one of the most amazing things in my life. does anyone have any tips or advice?

Dinkidie Can’t understand why
  • replies: 1

Hi I’m Di I can’t understand why I keep have anxiety over things that are t even happening I’m so panicked all the time that something is wrong with my fur babies that he bothers my partner the thought of going to work makes me feel sick and having n... View more

Hi I’m Di I can’t understand why I keep have anxiety over things that are t even happening I’m so panicked all the time that something is wrong with my fur babies that he bothers my partner the thought of going to work makes me feel sick and having no money is not great all the time but since moving so far away from my family I don’t feel connected anymore my partner can’t understand what’s wrong with me I don’t understand I use to have an amazing doctor back in Sydney but since I have moved I havent found a new doctor or made any new friends I ended up in hospital lasts week due to a bad reaction and was publicly shamed at work for it I honestly wished I never moved I had a good support group friends family and a good hour job where my dogs never suffered I am weird for feeling this way?

Lachy21savage Seperation
  • replies: 10

So there's a person in my life who I just get super upset when I can't be around them. They live far away and are kind of like a father figure in a way. I get this feeling of hollowness and deep sadness the days after I leave their presence. recently... View more

So there's a person in my life who I just get super upset when I can't be around them. They live far away and are kind of like a father figure in a way. I get this feeling of hollowness and deep sadness the days after I leave their presence. recently it has gotten worse as I felt kind of physically sick e.g. Loss of appetite. I don't know whether this is just an intense love (not relationship/ sexual but a companionship way) and I that I cannot deal with the fact that I can't be around them. Has anybody had a similar experience?

Aussiegirl92 Being Excluded
  • replies: 5

I work in a military unit, and we basically don't get to have time to meet people outside of work. So everyone at work is friends. Except me. I do have a hobby, I teach kids Taekwon-do. But it doesn't really provide me with a social life. At work bei... View more

I work in a military unit, and we basically don't get to have time to meet people outside of work. So everyone at work is friends. Except me. I do have a hobby, I teach kids Taekwon-do. But it doesn't really provide me with a social life. At work being a part of the unit is super important and I guess I just messed up on the first gathering and now I don't get invited at all. Even my own partner has lied directly to my face about events that are happening that I'm not included in. The last social gathering I was included in was my own birthday. And only my boyfriend turned up. At first I figured maybe it would take time. If I was super nice and helped people with their work and whatever else they might accept me. But now it's been years and every Christmas they have an orphans gathering for everyone who can't see their family due to being interstate and I've never been invited. I'm not even sure if I'll see a friendly face on new years. I am so sad and lonely. And sometimes I wonder what is wrong with me. I just wish I could be part of the team that I serve my country with. I couldn't care if I just sat in the back and didn't really be involved I'd just like to be a part of something. I work really hard and I'm passionate about my work but it's just so lonely. Especially because my partner only sees me alone and refuses to go to social gatherings with me and lies to me and goes alone. It feels as though I did something really wrong to hurt someone but I don't remember anything like that. I'm a bit quirky and sometimes I'm loud but I try to be kind and look out for people. I must just not have the right qualities to fit in. At first I thought I'd just be ok with it but at Christmas seeing the Facebook photo of everyone around the table just made me so sad. I wish I had a friend in the world.

Vicky6 Is it bad that the only person I want to need is myself?
  • replies: 1

I quite often find myself in moments when I'm upset, not reaching out to someone as I don't want them to help me. I worry if I seek comfort from them I will start to need it? I want to be able to comfort and cope by myself! I think I ultimately belie... View more

I quite often find myself in moments when I'm upset, not reaching out to someone as I don't want them to help me. I worry if I seek comfort from them I will start to need it? I want to be able to comfort and cope by myself! I think I ultimately believe that eventually everyone will either die or just leave me, and I don't want to rely on anyone! I'm not sure where this has stemmed from as no one close to me has ever died or really left me! Still I wonder if this kind of behaviour is healthy and whether it will help me in the future. I worry that all this does is stop me from opening up and trusting others. But again even if trusting others is healthy, why am I so scared to do it? Should I? Or is it better to try to be self reliant?

KimAnne It's over but how do I .....
  • replies: 7

My bf and I had our first fight yesterday. Our relationship is over as it was draining my energy and detrimental to my health. I realised yesterday when he took the word over someone, who he has known for longer but lets him down constantly and he an... View more

My bf and I had our first fight yesterday. Our relationship is over as it was draining my energy and detrimental to my health. I realised yesterday when he took the word over someone, who he has known for longer but lets him down constantly and he angrily and horribly talks about her behind her back, over me. I need to get some of my personal belongings from his house and at his farm, but he is not answering my texts. I have to get these things and get him out of my life permanently. I want to just sleep forever, my depression and anxiety is high, I just don't think I can cope with all of the hurt and the loss. I'm seeing my GP on Friday and will discuss with him my current situation. Does anyone have an idea how I can cope with having to see/talk to him without getting too emotional/angry?

Allie9000 Need hope.
  • replies: 3

I'm 25 And I believe I'm depressed but have no one to talk to in my life about these issue. I've gotten to the point of not caring about myself anymore, everyday is a struggle to wake up and get out of bed. I have no career & finiancallg struggling, ... View more

I'm 25 And I believe I'm depressed but have no one to talk to in my life about these issue. I've gotten to the point of not caring about myself anymore, everyday is a struggle to wake up and get out of bed. I have no career & finiancallg struggling, no partner (never had one), and recently told I'm infertile. I feel worthless because of this and like I don't really have a future to look forward to.

Thisldome She can’t trust me
  • replies: 4

Hi all I am new here and this isn’t something i Normally do I am married to a really wonderful woman for around 10 years and we have one child. When we first me she was extremely jealous but I thought she grew out it but she hasn’t Recently she told ... View more

Hi all I am new here and this isn’t something i Normally do I am married to a really wonderful woman for around 10 years and we have one child. When we first me she was extremely jealous but I thought she grew out it but she hasn’t Recently she told me that for years she thought I was having a sexual relationship with a man and she still does. None of this is true and is in her imagination, she has access to everything and has yet to find anything to suggest that I am cheating because I simply don’t, I don’t lie and have nothing to hide. She continually asked me the same questions and she continually gets the same answers because it’s the truth. I do manage to hold my temper most of the time but at times I completely flip, I know I have anger issues and I am working on them although I am not physically violent. She will spend days trailing through old emails looking for something that doesn’t exist, when she thinks she finds something I am expected to remember things dating back 7+ years and to explain it, most of which she has already been through before. I am growing really tired of it all and it emotionally draining to have to answer these questions all the time, it’s geting on top of me. When is a relationship been poisoned so much by her behavior to say enough is enough. I have told her that she needs to accept some responsibility for this relationship and she has trust issues that she needs to learn to manage but every time I want to talk about her she switches of and tells me not to turn it around. Some days are great then she will turn for no obvious reason that I can see and I generally remain calm, it’s almost like she is looking for attention or sympathy because her child hood wasn’t the best. She is a great Mum and loves our child to death, although at times I have seen things that concern me. She tells me she trusts me and wants to work on the marriage then she will say some unfounded comment or make an unfounded accusation like she is looking to light the fuse. I do have an appointment to go and talk about this and to help me manage my anger amongst other things to try and become a better person and husband. I never used to be like this, I used to be the guy that was everyone’s mate and a great laugh, now I couldn’t be bothered socializing almost like I have been pounded into submission and still being kicked. If anyone has been through similar issue I would be glad to hear from you or any advice would be appreciated Thanks in advance