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Marriage Breakdown

Community Member

Hi Im only new on here and thought I might tell my story. I called my marriage off 4 months ago and I honestly thought it would be way easier than this. Once I did I went out drinking every night and turned up hungover too work for the first two months. I then had a sudden change of heart and tried to go back, my wife wasnt sure if it was possible and now has decided its not. So now Im really starting too understand the difficulties that she had too go through. I use to smoke a lot of pot and that gets me very paranoid ie who is she seeing wheres she going which is really none of my business and knowing her she would probably be sitting at home still going through her own process. I haven't touched pot for 2 weeks now and I can slowly feel the paranoia subsiding. Anxiety is something I had heard about and thought was not a big deal, boy was I wrong it has hit me hard and I'm currently working through it. I just hope as the paranoia subsides so will the anxiety, I am currently working with a psyc on that and depession. The hardest thing I find is trying to stop thinking about all the good things we had and trying to remember some of the bad. The one good thing my psyc has told me which may help some other people is too think of it like a wound at first it really hurts but it slowly heals and you will bump it along the way hurting it again but eventually it will be a scar and will hopefully remind you not too make the same mistakes again.

thanks for reading

2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hello Baker84

I see that you have been on Beyond Blue (BB) forums previously. Thank you for posting some wise words for others.

You do sound like you have learnt a lesson in life. Smoking pot, can and does have a negative impact on people's mental health, especially paranoia. Anxiety and depression are not something that will just not disappear. It takes hard work and determination to help manage the symptoms. It is possible that the pot has been masking your anxiety symptoms. Do a google search about cannabis, paranoia and anxiety.

In the long terms, there are numerous ways to manage your anxiety and depression. It is good to hear you are going to psych who will give you tools to help you cope.

I frequently have anxiety and depression and founds some of the following techniques help:

  • Slowing my breathe. Breathing in through my nose for the count of 5 and out through my mouth for the count of 5. All the while, focussing on my breathe going in through my nose, throat, chest, lungs and diaphragm.
  • Grounding, meditation, mindfulness - have a look at some of the threads in the BB forums under staying well. There is some good information about these.
  • Distraction - focus your mind to something else.
  • Eating well, exercising - make a wellness program for yourself.
  • Interests, hobbies, activities - what do you like to do with your time?

Baker84, you've been around the forum for awhile. What are some of the things you picked up about reducing your anxiety? Is there other things you'd like to share.

Lovely having you on board.

Kind regards


Community Member

Thanks for the reply

Best practice for me is probably been breathing activities like the one you have suggested.

I think just going through and reading other peoples stories has helped me get through the work day.