Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Happiness_I_Miss_You How do you know if it's your anxiety or you don't love them?
  • replies: 2

I have had a partner for 9 months now. I don't enjoy time with him like I have with other relationships. Am I just really damaged or is he not for me? Is it possible for love to feel somewhat mediocre or do I just need to break up. Has anyone wondere... View more

I have had a partner for 9 months now. I don't enjoy time with him like I have with other relationships. Am I just really damaged or is he not for me? Is it possible for love to feel somewhat mediocre or do I just need to break up. Has anyone wondered the same? There is no other reason not to be with him besides my gut feeling telling me he isn't the one. Although we all know anxiety does terrible things to our gut feelings. I'm a grown woman with children and have had previous relationships. I am friends with my exes but have had a couple that have caused a lot of damage to my self esteem. I'm in therapy etc. Is it normal to not feel head over heels and settle??

Louelle11 Breakup Pain
  • replies: 6

Hi I have recently gone through a breakup, he was my first boyfriend and we were together 9 months. He was my everything, I loved him so much and he made me so happy. One night he said he didn't feel for me the way I did for him. This was 3 months ag... View more

Hi I have recently gone through a breakup, he was my first boyfriend and we were together 9 months. He was my everything, I loved him so much and he made me so happy. One night he said he didn't feel for me the way I did for him. This was 3 months ago. I am still struggling with the pain, I cry myself to sleep alot. I am scared I will never love again, that no one else will ever want me and more so that I will never get over him or be able to love anyone else. I was always terrified of losing him, I felt like he was my soul mate. He was everything I had ever wanted in a partner and now it has all gone. I felt at home with his family and with him. I don't know what to do now. Has anyone been through something similar? If so how did you get better, did you move on to other relationships? Does the pain ever subside? He was my first love, I am late 20's so feeling like I am running out of time as I want to settle down and start a family. I would love to chat to anyone who can help. Thankyou

Just Ken Bipolar and relationships
  • replies: 8

Having never had a relationship and now have found someone who everything seems to be progressing well, I'm getting a little worried about how my bipolar is going to affect things. Obviously there is a certain responsibility on me to try and minimise... View more

Having never had a relationship and now have found someone who everything seems to be progressing well, I'm getting a little worried about how my bipolar is going to affect things. Obviously there is a certain responsibility on me to try and minimise the effects, but it isn't always possible. If I'm depressed then being close to people becomes painful and I wouldn't even think about sex. At least with hypomania there are ways around the constant desire for sex. Anyway my thought was that any relationships the other person has to understand about bipolar, and how I feel often has nothing to do with anything I do and definitely nothing to do with her. Otherwise, things are not going to work out well. My strong feeling is that good relationships can help with bipolar and bad relationships will end up a mess. Is that other peoples experience?

mistyhaze What to do when your boyfriend is depressed?
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend of two years moved out on the weekend after being away for a week of work, and us arguing for most of it, he felt it was best if he left. His reasons were that he didnt feel the same way anymore. He wasnt happy, and he had never been hap... View more

My boyfriend of two years moved out on the weekend after being away for a week of work, and us arguing for most of it, he felt it was best if he left. His reasons were that he didnt feel the same way anymore. He wasnt happy, and he had never been happy. Moments where he looked happy were just fake and he was tired of faking it. He had suffered from depression in the past and was on medication when I met him. In the last 6 months he decided to go off his medication, but did agree to start seeing a psychologist and attended the GP appointment I arranged for him to get the referral. He has since been to 3-4 appointments wit the psychologist, and has barely read the information she has given him. He continues to feel nothing, and has a hard time communicating any feelings at all. He cant say that he cares about me when I ask, he has never said he loves me, and I do know that I put a lot of pressure on him in the past few months because I wasnt feeling my best. I was down and needed reassurance from him, but he couldnt say the words. Sex has been off the agenda for months but that is partly me not feeling good about myself either as well as his lack of drive. He has a history of running away from problems, and has moved so many times in his life, he really doesnt have a home. Through all this he focusses on work, and he's good at his work. He's intelligent and a hard worker. He's generous and kind but just doesnt feel and therefore doesnt act like he cares at some moments. I guess my question is, do I push to reignite the relationship and try to move forward? or is it time that I move on? My thoughts are that he needs to try harder on himself, but only he can chose to do that, and perhaps he's due to try meds again, maybe something different. I know its a long, hard road, but do I offer him support along the way in the hope we can resolve things or focus on moving down my own path?

notsorosey Does it get better?
  • replies: 16

My long term partner (over a decade together) left me a month ago. He is struggling with his own issues which he refuses to get help for but said he is lost and needs to separate. I’m really struggling. Im vomiting every morning and am awake at aroun... View more

My long term partner (over a decade together) left me a month ago. He is struggling with his own issues which he refuses to get help for but said he is lost and needs to separate. I’m really struggling. Im vomiting every morning and am awake at around 4 each morning half asleep and I can’t control the negative thoughts. He’s a completely different person atm and treating me like I’m the worlds worst person and I just want to move on but my brain and body just won’t let me. I’ve lost a lot of weight and I try to eat but can’t keep it down. I feel like a huge burden to everyone around me and it is hugely effecting the rest of my life including work. I am seeing a psychologist but I don’t seem to be getting any better. Would love suggestions from those that have been there. I have no answers, no closure, came pretty much out of the blue & I haven’t got a stable living situation ahead (only contracted till march and house sitting till jan). I honestly thought I wanted him back but the way I’ve been treated I have no idea why I still do. And I still need to see him regularly for the moment. Much appreciated.

Kidle Lonely ,just finding it hard to find any friends
  • replies: 21

Hi I am new here, for a very long time have tried to cope in life by icolating myself from people as I have never felt good enough to be considered friend matrial. I am now near fifty and have no real friends whom would want to spend time with me. I ... View more

Hi I am new here, for a very long time have tried to cope in life by icolating myself from people as I have never felt good enough to be considered friend matrial. I am now near fifty and have no real friends whom would want to spend time with me. I consider myself as worthless to others, but so want to change just to find one soul mate in life, don’t we all deserve that, I don’t know how, I am male , but just need some guardian angels to help.. anyone out there ...

DANIELLE2 Lonliness
  • replies: 3

HI I suffer from depression, PTSD and anxiety which makes socializing difficult. I have no famile except for one son. I think that lonliness has made my situation worse to the extent I do not want to get up of a morning. How do other people cope with... View more

HI I suffer from depression, PTSD and anxiety which makes socializing difficult. I have no famile except for one son. I think that lonliness has made my situation worse to the extent I do not want to get up of a morning. How do other people cope with lonliness please

HopefulE can I get some help in making decisions, I feel overwhelmed , want to leave ,but too afraid of loneliness etc
  • replies: 5

I've been with my partner for 7+ years , he's a binge drinker ,(had threats & ugly things said to me.) Kind of want to move back home , but feel like a failure, afraid I'll be financially ruined & homeless as well as lonely how can i deal with these ... View more

I've been with my partner for 7+ years , he's a binge drinker ,(had threats & ugly things said to me.) Kind of want to move back home , but feel like a failure, afraid I'll be financially ruined & homeless as well as lonely how can i deal with these self-destructive thoughts?I don't feel close to him any more

Throwing_Away Bit of a struggle
  • replies: 3

Hello all. Not sure where to post. Lately I have not been able to see where life is heading I have a child with autism who is going through therapy and improving. My wife is ill. Work has been a bit of a struggle. Money is tight. A couple of years ag... View more

Hello all. Not sure where to post. Lately I have not been able to see where life is heading I have a child with autism who is going through therapy and improving. My wife is ill. Work has been a bit of a struggle. Money is tight. A couple of years ago my brother was killed and I’m coping ok with that. A few months ago my father for some reason accused my mother of cheating about 43 years ago but it was baseless and they have moved on(stil together) and lately I have been trying to find and get in contact with old friends and an old gf. I think I am trying to find them to think of happier times when life was easy and there was no stress. i can normally cope with everything but I’m just in a bit of a rough patch.

Johnthefisherman What is wrong with me
  • replies: 3

I constantly feel like I am walking on eggshells in life in general .in my relationship and it’s hard to write this ,I’m nervous. I love my fiancé very much but there are elements that are hurting me a lot and affecting me seriously.she is never inti... View more

I constantly feel like I am walking on eggshells in life in general .in my relationship and it’s hard to write this ,I’m nervous. I love my fiancé very much but there are elements that are hurting me a lot and affecting me seriously.she is never intimate with me anymore only if I initiate but it’s rarely received.she wants to sleep alone 99% if the time in fact I do not get to sleep in her bed unless I ask .she has two children from a previous relationship that did not go well at all and every week has to watch her children leave which is really taking its toll on her.she sedates herself in the late afternoons with alcohol and can sometimes be nasty and dismissive when under the influence.she at one stage promised to have a child with me knowing that I would have loved to be a father but then changed her mind ,for logical enough reasons but at the end of the day it really hurt.within that same year well this year,I tested positive for the Huntington gene(high CAG) .my father has Huntington’s but it did not set in till he was in his 70’s as with any other relatives on his side so it is not actually a major worry in one way ,if I make it to 70 and THEN start to lose my mind I’m think I’m doin ok ,right? Most days I want to break down and cry and open up but I can’t I just seem to smoke cigarettes like a train and I find I can’t even socially interact with people properly anymore .i sometimes start to cry when driving to work it seems to be the only time I feel I can .on top of this I live 16000kms from my family in my home country .i need love and support from my partner but most of the time I feel like an inconvenience and it’s hard to open up to her now ,reading back on this I’m not painting her in the true light she is wonderful but certain aspects of her past life are destroying her and I want to help her and myself as well ,I’m just so deeply deeply hurt by everything in my life right now it’s hard to see light at the end of the tunnel. There you have it..advice would be welcome!