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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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malcominthemiddle My wife is moving out and wants everything - including me but not me yet..
  • replies: 8

Hi all Pretty baffled at the minute any guidance would be greatly appreciated. 4 years ago my wife and I got married we had been together for 2 years prior. When We got married I had a tough time with many personal emotions catching up with me and I ... View more

Hi all Pretty baffled at the minute any guidance would be greatly appreciated. 4 years ago my wife and I got married we had been together for 2 years prior. When We got married I had a tough time with many personal emotions catching up with me and I essentially broke down and scraped the bottom of the barrel for about a year or 2. During this time I certainly was difficult to be around and my wife carried the family both emotionally and financially until I crawled out of my hole. The past 2 years I have worked incredibly hard on myself and gathered my life together again and am emotionally strong and a much better human than I was. We have been to counselling and I owned all my mistakes and have really come out the other side. There was no infidelity or anything like this just a tough emotional time for myself. My wife and our children even had many fun family holidays recently and I we were even quite intimate with each other and she told me I was the best husband and father to our children (now) ....until about a month ago and BANG it all changed. That's it she is leaving. She moved into the spare room and said she needed space and told me she was finally starting to process all the bad stuff from 4 years ago and she didn't want to be mean or vindictive towards me and thought that a fresh start would help us strip back our marriage and rebuild it on the right fundamentals. Hopefully falling in love again and getting back together..... Now whilst I can see this as sweet and long term a great goal and I am approaching this with a VERY open mind. What gets me is she wants her share of the house in cash - meaning I pull out the cash and give it to her so she can buy her own place and take the kids with her and she wants me to help her run the kids around whenever she can't make it. The whole idea is that when she moves out she hopes she will miss me and learn how to depend on me again whilst we start dating again. . . Now I know the intentions are there to fix our marriage and the goal is happiness together when we are old, not bitterness or resentment and I am bending over backwards to help accommodate her wants and needs but I really feel like I am getting the short end of the stick here. . Do I want my wife back? Yes. extending my mortgage so she can buy a house and take the kids and then have me at beck and call? hmmm do I just let her go and hope she comes back? or do I just cut it now and divorce. . ?

Shali Is my Husbund asking me too much? Relationship is ending
  • replies: 2

It’s been six years of our mrg &v got 5mnt old Bub.My Husbund is very aggressive, bossy and manipulative. We have fights in the past and it’s get bigger becoz of his anger.After each fight he promised me that he will change but his anger is still sam... View more

It’s been six years of our mrg &v got 5mnt old Bub.My Husbund is very aggressive, bossy and manipulative. We have fights in the past and it’s get bigger becoz of his anger.After each fight he promised me that he will change but his anger is still same. Now I told him I got baby and I m not going to tolerate your anger or shout anymore as I don’t want her to grow in that environment.I m very calm in nature and try to let it go but now I hv enough.main problem Is his parents.Thy want to control our lives, thy always saying where to spend money,keep interfering in our life til now.thy also said to my Husbund not to buy anything for my family.if I go to India once a year and if I buy some presences for my family they don’t like. I have just given them presence like purse or shoes etc but they blame me that I have given money to buy gold and all the furniture in my parents house. they told that to my uncle. I m so update with this. My Husbund and I told them so many times that we didn’t gave money but still they not believing us. Now I don’t want to talk to them unless they realise they did wrong. My Husbund is asking me to call his mother after this incident and after all this drama I even called twice but she never called me or my Husbund or not to see my baby. I told my Husbund I m not gonna call them anymore if they don’t call me first. My Husbund is asking me to forget everything and keep talking and caring to his family. He told me that if you love me and if you want to live together you have to call them.My Husbund is still aggressive,when I needed him during my pregnancy, labour and post he wasn’t there. He was keep fighting with me for small thing. At the moment his brother came to live with us for study, his dad came to see our baby from India for 3 months. I told my Husbund asked them not to come this time as I will not manage with little one. Now today I have big fight with my Husbund, he is blaming me that I m not taking care of his father. I do cooking three times a day plus have to look after very fussy 5 months old. I don’t get enough sleep at night. My Husbund don’t understand me and he says u doing nothing whole day. After pregnancy I don’t have desire to sex, being tired and may be because my Husbund not understand me I don’t know.He thinks I have changed and I don’t love him.I don’t know what to do I cry everyday without reason. This it too much for me.M I nt doing right thing? Is he right?Please guide me.

Clair01 Sad parents won't accept my separation.
  • replies: 2

My husband moved out a couple of weeks ago. I am quite sad my parents don't seem to be able to accept it. They seem to think we can just stay married and live in separate houses. Phone call ended with parents shouting at me saying that I wasn't separ... View more

My husband moved out a couple of weeks ago. I am quite sad my parents don't seem to be able to accept it. They seem to think we can just stay married and live in separate houses. Phone call ended with parents shouting at me saying that I wasn't separated. Currently I feel more upset by my parents reaction than my husband moving out.

Mister_E Can't live with my brother anymore
  • replies: 2

I can't, I really really can't. my brother is a horrible person. I wont go into too many details about him. but I need a solution for what to do about him. but there doesn't seem to be one. I wish i could move out. but I can't, I have no money, no jo... View more

I can't, I really really can't. my brother is a horrible person. I wont go into too many details about him. but I need a solution for what to do about him. but there doesn't seem to be one. I wish i could move out. but I can't, I have no money, no job, a medical condition that prevents me from holding down a job, and no friends i can temporarily live with while i try and sort those things out. all my friends have moved to other countries in the past few years. and I have no family members I'd want to live with. since my only choice would be living with my dad, who is just as bad as my brother. plus if i moved out, my mum would be stuck here having to deal with my brother alone. i can't do that to her. I know him moving out would never work. he'd lose his house or have his landlord evict him or something within a week. and then he'd be back here again and even worse than before. I don't know what to do. I just wish he didn't exist. I shouldn't have to put up with someone like him, and neither should my mum. i can't deal with this anymore.

SarahJC Daughter Social Media addiction
  • replies: 3

Hi there, This is my first post; I really need advice. My eldest daughter has an Instagram account and uploads pictures of herself displaying her fashion outfits, I also have an 8-year-old daughter that occasionally watches her sister take photos (wh... View more

Hi there, This is my first post; I really need advice. My eldest daughter has an Instagram account and uploads pictures of herself displaying her fashion outfits, I also have an 8-year-old daughter that occasionally watches her sister take photos (which I dislike immensely), I have noticed miss 8 starting to pose a lot more for photos (as her sister) and take selfies - she was never like this, or is it the age???. She has never seen her Instagram account, but I know one day she will see it. I'm just concerned if this is creating future issues for miss 8 regarding social media (addiction)??? I have spoken to my eldest daughter about it but dismissed what I had said. Miss 8 started to explore her interests, but since watching her sister, she is starting to mimic her. Please help

Bella2200 Pregnant and now alone
  • replies: 6

Hi all i am due to give birth any day and my long term partner has informed me that they are unsure of what they want anymore and right now im not the person they see themselves with anymore. i am shocked and broken hearted for my baby and i

Hi all i am due to give birth any day and my long term partner has informed me that they are unsure of what they want anymore and right now im not the person they see themselves with anymore. i am shocked and broken hearted for my baby and i

Robbed My employer fired me after I lodged a workcover claim.
  • replies: 4

I worked for a huge Federal Government employer in a mundane role. I was bullied for years by the managers until I had a complete mental breakdown. I lodged a claim for workcover and the employer lodged it with the insurance company. Two days later e... View more

I worked for a huge Federal Government employer in a mundane role. I was bullied for years by the managers until I had a complete mental breakdown. I lodged a claim for workcover and the employer lodged it with the insurance company. Two days later employer suspended my job. The insurance company denied my claim under the clause 'reasonable management actions' and then despite my written response my job was gone they didn't pay me anything. I went through the Fair work process involving a conciliation hearing, and offered nothing. Conciliators cannot make binding outcomes. I attended a employment lawyer at $500 per 50 minutes who did not care and said that I should have lodged a protected attributes dispute. The law does not allow me to change the claim though both are unfair to me. They could pursue the matter for $25,000 to potentially claim a Maximum $50,000 Also lodged a conciliation for workcover, attended and received a certificate to engage a lawyer to get me what I am owed. No guarantees. I will have to survive somehow for a year without income waiting for the outcome and still unable to work. Also stuck paying workcover bills for GP, Phycologist, psychiatrist and medication. The Management have denied any wrong doing and my life has gone from shit to completely shit. Can anybody recall precedents on this or related forums. Pondering my life's outcome, Rob.

unlucky_in-love I don't know where to start
  • replies: 2

Background: I am a single mother of 10 years that moved away from everyone and everything she knows due to violent threats from my ex husband. I stayed single for 7 years before even considering I was ready to enter a new relationship. I have a backg... View more

Background: I am a single mother of 10 years that moved away from everyone and everything she knows due to violent threats from my ex husband. I stayed single for 7 years before even considering I was ready to enter a new relationship. I have a background of anxiety and a family history of mental illness including anxiety, depression, bipolar... THEN: I found the man of my dreams, it took me so long to let him in, I explained previous relationship and the way that I react to relationship breakdown and how hard relationships are to me due to anxiety and the fear of 'everything not being okay'. He insisted he could handle anything and has helped me through some emotional times with work and family to which ive never got along with. for 2 years I've depended on him to pick me up when I'm down hes been there until 2 weeks ago. things took a turn for the worst, my constant worrying and need for reassurance has been plaguing him for some months now, with his telling me hes getting tired of it and hes exhausted, ive worn him down. Now: Hes left, I'm spending numerous hours thinking of ways to repair the relationship to which he says he still loves me but doesn't know what to do. I don't have any friends or family where I am to go to for support and my child misses him dearly aswell. I spend hours agonising over whether I should just call to try and make things better and when I do hes unhappy ive contacted him but still satys he loves me but doesn't know what to do. Its emotional draining for me and in sheer moments of frustration ive broken it off with him completely only to go back on my word and seek his reassurance that he wants to make thing work and he say he doesn't know if they can, to which I ask do you want them to and he says yes but I don't know how. He has told me he wants me to be the happy girl that didn't need him when we met but I actually need him more than ever right now, the lonliess could just about eat me up, then I ring again then he gets mad cause I haven't given him any space. I don't know where to start or what to do

Asenna Need some feedback
  • replies: 3

Hi there everyone,not written for somewhile but I hope you can help with my story.Its been 3 years since my ex wife and I separated soon to be divorced.The first 2 were mostly living in limbo as my ex was always uncertain and towards the end of 2016 ... View more

Hi there everyone,not written for somewhile but I hope you can help with my story.Its been 3 years since my ex wife and I separated soon to be divorced.The first 2 were mostly living in limbo as my ex was always uncertain and towards the end of 2016 she wanted to hang out to see how she felt and I was fine with that. Two months later she decided that she just wanted to be friends. I was gutted. I think I supressed it and let my anger and ego push me along. In 2014 I apparently got ptsd from a incorrect diagnosis of liver cancer towards the end of 2012. When I was going through ptsd I became very reliant on her. Mainly emotionally. I really became needy and clingy. I was frightened of my anxiety and feelings. By 2015 it was still there and my anxiety had lessened substantially but my depression lingered. It could of been many factors why it hung around. I was on medication but it wasn’t really doing much. In February whilst on a family holiday she told me she wanted to separate. I was frightened. I couldn’t lose her. I was desperate to have her back. I needed her. I loved her. I tried and I cried and I hung on. I just didn’t want to lose her at all. It was hard to function to be honest. I had some normal moments when I felt good but would come crashing down when she rejected my proposals. I’d text her a lot and tell her how I felt. The 2nd year was a bit better but we weren’t still together. I took up meditation and I felt a bit better. Yet I was always saying that I loved her and I’ll comeback when I felt better. I was still very sad because I missed her and the memories were killing me. I went overseas and had a good trip but still felt I missed her. I sent her messages of hope. Like please don’t give up on me. Don’t close the book on us. Which brings me up to the end of 2016 as I wrote above. At the beginning of this year I found her on a dating website and my heart broke. She had moved on. I begged her not to go but she said it’s too late. last week I’d had enough. I decided to become proactive about it. I’ve taken up meditation again, swimming and journaling. Yet I tell her about it like I need her approval. I need her acceptance and validation. I still cry and I feel quite lonely. I’m 45 and my little ones don’t like to see me cry. They said they get sad when they see me sad. Why am I still trying to hold on. Why!!! It’s destroying my life and I don’t know how to let go. I get anxious when I try to say goodbye and cut off ties. What’s wrong with me.

Milsey Struggling mum
  • replies: 1

Hello, I’m a 25 year old mum of two who is happily married and has two beautiful babies.. or so I say. i am a perfectionist and have ocd tendencies, ( mainly with cleaning and wanting my house to stay perfect)I’m snappy and moody and I get so angry l... View more

Hello, I’m a 25 year old mum of two who is happily married and has two beautiful babies.. or so I say. i am a perfectionist and have ocd tendencies, ( mainly with cleaning and wanting my house to stay perfect)I’m snappy and moody and I get so angry lately. I feel tremendous guilt every night as all I feel like I’m doing is yelling at my kids ( 3.5 and 1.5) what kind of idiot just yells/ screams and cry’s in front of her kids most days. I have a supportive husband but he works so hard that we never have time for each other or if there is time kts something he wants to do. I’m closest to my dad and little sister as my elder sister and mother seem so self absorbed in 4 years I could say I’ve maybe spent time with my mum about 30’ times and that’s just a quick hello she doesn’t have the time of day for my so called drama and not once has been there for me when I’m upset or struggling I get told to get over it I’m dramatic. I don’t have many friends ( I have a lot on my social media but honestly no one makes an effort I’ve had 3 play dates canceled on me and my kids this week and it just sets me into a downward spiral, why do I have no one ? ) I’m too full on with my daughter I’m quick to judge and get angry fast like if she does her picture or spelling wrong ( what is wrong with me who does that) I absolutely hate my appearance and I obsess over it if I feel ugly it ruins my day, my week.. my life. I’m losing control and I just want to run away I can’t keep feeling alone my husband is amazing but even when he suggests something I get frustrated, I get frustrated at his snoring, his eating everything I love him so why do I feel so annoyed by him. I’m impulsive and irrational and I expect too much from my kids. I sleep terribly and drink too much soft drink and coffee as I get so run down. Lately I’ve wanted to run away I don’t want to be like this anymore ..