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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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timewillheal From wedding/kids talk to being dumped within a week
  • replies: 11

Hi All, I'm currently struggling with a recent breakup where my bf of 3 years, whom i lived with for 2 years literally broke up with me out of the blue and within 20 minutes was gone. (He's 30, I'm 29). We had no issues in the relationship, only laug... View more

Hi All, I'm currently struggling with a recent breakup where my bf of 3 years, whom i lived with for 2 years literally broke up with me out of the blue and within 20 minutes was gone. (He's 30, I'm 29). We had no issues in the relationship, only laughs and smiles, there was a lot of love and respect (argued about 4 times max in that whole time). The breakup totally blindsided me - no explanation, no communication, no conversation, he simply just walked out. He then spent the next 6 weeks crying and struggling, contacting me telling me he's depressed and feeling low and of course me being the kind and caring person i am, i was there for him in his time of need. Looking back now, i feel used by him during this time as i was the one who was dumped and yet i was looking after him. He has now moved back into the apartment we shared, and i've moved out. He told me he was still so confused about his decision and wanted to find clarity and felt that being alone in the apartment would provide that. I bumped into him the other day and it seems he has come to a decision that this is 'the right choice right now'. Just finding it very difficult how someone can go from having a beautiful, healthy relationship where there was nothing wrong, to absolutely zero contact. We were best friends and he threw it away because he said he 'freaked out' after attending friend's weddings. I wasnt putting any pressure on him for marriage etc, in fact i told him the opposite the week before he broke up with me. His reply was bluntly "i don't feel pressure" - when, in fact, he was feeling a lot of pressure and just didnt tell me. Instead, he would talk about our wedding, kids, houses, future all the while feeling 'pressure' and not communicating with me. I understand getting over a breakup takes time, it's just very difficult at the moment because everyday is excruciatingly painful. It feels like incessant pain where i just seem to be stuck in some sort of mental pain cycle. There are days where i feel okay and days where i feel so low i just cry the whole time. I wonder whether there is a chance he will 'realise'. I feel better when i talk about it and would love to chat with someone whom is going through the same thing to support each other.

AJ2014 How do you overcome loneliness when...
  • replies: 5

How do you overcome loneliness when you feel: forgotten by all those you know / knew always the one to make "first contact" that there is no point meeting new people or caring about new people cause they will only let you down and disappoint you like... View more

How do you overcome loneliness when you feel: forgotten by all those you know / knew always the one to make "first contact" that there is no point meeting new people or caring about new people cause they will only let you down and disappoint you like everyone else has. Like your struggles, thoughts and feelings mean nothing because your a straight white middle aged male and your life must be amazing . Men can't be the targets of sexism. White people can't be targets of racism. Straight people can't be targets of bigotry. in the reverse can you be happy and on your own?

mommabear stupid wife
  • replies: 3

I feel really alone with all our marriage problems! 3 Years into our marriage and one child its barely holding together, we fight over the smallest things like cleaning, moving or sort. When he gets angry he calls my stupid, whats going on in your he... View more

I feel really alone with all our marriage problems! 3 Years into our marriage and one child its barely holding together, we fight over the smallest things like cleaning, moving or sort. When he gets angry he calls my stupid, whats going on in your head, i was more successful without you, you bring me down and i cant talk to you anymore. Its so often im starting to believe it now, my heart feels empty and i dont want to talk to him cause i dont want to hear it. I really try at home making sure everything is immaculate, child is under control when his home, bring him tea and food is ready daily. I put our child to bed, he watches TV, play games, see his friends and he goes to bed fine. A new day the problem is in the past, every time i feel happy the feeling like someone punching your guts comes around. im so tired

haylesmason My boyfriend has a sexual fantasy that's causing stress to our relationship
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone....I've never posted before but here goes. So basically my partner who is...let's say...roughly 15 years older than me (I'm early 20's) has a sexual fantasy. I've tried it before about a year ago but after a bad experience which turned me... View more

Hi everyone....I've never posted before but here goes. So basically my partner who is...let's say...roughly 15 years older than me (I'm early 20's) has a sexual fantasy. I've tried it before about a year ago but after a bad experience which turned me off it we haven't done it since. He goes through phases of talking about it a lot, messaging me about it, asking me when I'll do it, will I ever do it again, how would I like it? Then he goes through a phase of him saying he knows it's not healthy etc etc and keeping it to himself. But the problem is.. when he keeps it to himself he gets extremely stressed and on edge. Basically not my happy man anymore. Recently he told me he's thinking of seeing a counsellor, and I suggested a sex psychologist but I don't know if this will help. Any ideas or advise would be helpful. I don't really know what answers I'm after but I just don't know how to process all this because it stresses me out. If I told him flat out no, it'll never happen again - I think he would get really depressed/sad/less sexual/more withdrawn.

DavoC Is my girlfriend hiding something bigger?
  • replies: 3

Hi, I have recently seen on my girlfriend's call logs (after she left it unlocked and I was looking for a contact time of a mutual friend) and noticed she has been masking lots of calls with an 1831 in front of the mobile number and when she is alone... View more

Hi, I have recently seen on my girlfriend's call logs (after she left it unlocked and I was looking for a contact time of a mutual friend) and noticed she has been masking lots of calls with an 1831 in front of the mobile number and when she is alone, each call might be 20-40 seconds long and all outgoing calls only. Each mobile is unique and I'm confused as to why she is doing this? I tried to confront her but she said it was just missed calls she was calling back and listened to who they are.. She might call 4-6 numbers randomly when she is alone. Is this a sign of drugs or prostituting? I'm worried and fear she is involved in something more sinister. Does anybody have any ideas of what it is and how I approach her on this?

Miss_Rhi_Rhi Why do i feel so lonely....
  • replies: 3

hi everybody, this is the first time im posting so sorry if i haven done it right. i feel so lonley and everyday is a struggle to get up, my partner loves me but it doesnt feel like he wants me he is more interested in gaming than me. my family say t... View more

hi everybody, this is the first time im posting so sorry if i haven done it right. i feel so lonley and everyday is a struggle to get up, my partner loves me but it doesnt feel like he wants me he is more interested in gaming than me. my family say they support me but they dont try to help me or talk to me. i have no friends at all only my parnter and family and it just feels like there not here. i just wish i had friends that i could hang out with and not feel so alone everyday, all i do is sit in bed and watch tv no one talks to me i have no one... when i try to make friends they think im weird and i dont know what i do to make them think that way, i know i have severe anxiety and depression but i put on a happy face everyday so how can i not have friends by now... i just want someone who will listen and want to hang out with me but i cant even do that right. i cant keep anyone in my life i loose everyone i care about... i just dont know what to do anymore to get through a day?? or just life in general??

Topher1 What to do? She said it's over.
  • replies: 2

Hi All, This year would mark 8yrs of marriage to my beautiful wife. We have 2 gorgeous girls that just make your heart melt. We have been having a few problems but nothing I thought couldn't be resolved as I thought we loved each other. For the past ... View more

Hi All, This year would mark 8yrs of marriage to my beautiful wife. We have 2 gorgeous girls that just make your heart melt. We have been having a few problems but nothing I thought couldn't be resolved as I thought we loved each other. For the past 2yrs she has been very blunt with me, she works afternoon's and evenings so I pick the girl's up from daycare. So weekend's I want to spend time as a family and evenings with my wife, but she always choices to go out. We have only ever been out with out the kids 6times in almost 5yrs. I hardly ever get go out so when I do I may come home a little jolly. She says I drink to much, and I'm always angry. I have been seeing doctor's on and off for a few year's and a counselor last year that didn't tell me to much. Just that we need time together. Last week she told me it was over. She wanted more kids but didn't want them with me. My whole world fell apart. On the same day my doctor told me that I had an irregular heartbeat that should have been picked up year's ago when he looked at my old test results, this caused anxiety. He gave me some pills and for the first time I felt normal again. I've tried to explain this to the wife but she just doesn't want to listen. She feels that I took her for granted. I just want to be able to try again. I wrote her an apology letter, I'm not using anxiety as an excuse, but the things I use to worry about and the not sleeping, didn't do me any favours. I never knew I had anxiety I just thought it was normal. I love my family and just don't know what to do. She doesn't want to try.

Erin323 Divorced but my ex is still sucking the life out of me
  • replies: 2

Hi. My name is Erin and I'm new here. I am 45 years old and alone. I feel as if I don't at least write these thoughts down, I'm going to burst. I have a knot in my chest the size of Jupiter. I can't concentrate and am relying on sleeping pills to sle... View more

Hi. My name is Erin and I'm new here. I am 45 years old and alone. I feel as if I don't at least write these thoughts down, I'm going to burst. I have a knot in my chest the size of Jupiter. I can't concentrate and am relying on sleeping pills to sleep. My story: I came to Australia 14 years ago with work. I married an Australian and had a beautiful daughter. 7 years ago my husband and I divorced after eight years of isolation, physical and emotional abuse and many (finding out afterwards) affairs. I have since been left to live in Australia without any extended family or support, in order to keep my daughter, whom I have 72% of the time. As if TWO years of financial and emotional bankruptcy fighting in the courts for the right to keep my daughter wasn't enough, with little to zero child support, and constantly fighting to keep my head above water, my ex has now convinced my daughter that she's old enough to make the decision to move in with him full time. If I thought he as sincere, and if I thought he was a healthy individual, and if I thought he wouldn't hurt our daughter the way he's hurt me (if not now...eventually), I would say it's her choice and allow her an opportunity to trial living with him. But, sadly it's not about my daughter at all. It's about hurting me....which he goes out of his way to do all of the time!! It's actually quite torturous. He's re-married. He has all of his family around him to help and support him. He has a good job and is very well off. I don't understand why he won't leave me alone and why, as a Father, is he using our daughter as his next leverage to hurt?? My heart is broken. I'm tired. I'm alone. I want out, but not sure if I mean this figuratively or literally. Some days I just want to quit. As a matter of fact, I recently put my house on the market just to free myself in case I get an opportunity to move....which in reality I can't or I risk losing my daughter altogether....and there in lies my dilemma. Anybody who has a similar situation, male or female, please please tell me how you survive these years. Thank you.

Louise_1984 I let go of my depressed girlfriend after months of trying
  • replies: 7

Hi everyone, This is my first post but these forums have been a god-send for me! I was in a relationship with a girl (lesbian relationship) for about 9 months. It was long distance. I go overseas for work every few months which is how I met her. At f... View more

Hi everyone, This is my first post but these forums have been a god-send for me! I was in a relationship with a girl (lesbian relationship) for about 9 months. It was long distance. I go overseas for work every few months which is how I met her. At first things were amazing! She was loving, caring, affectionate, attentive and fun to be around. I fell so deeply in love with her when I spent a month over there with her and I felt she did too. She confided in me that she suffers from depression and bi-polar. I have close friends and family who suffer from depression so I am very understanding of it and promised her I would never leave no matter how hard it got. About a month after I’d been home I got a text saying she had to let me go as I deserved someone who could be everything I need. I was able to talk her through it and let her know that I’m not going anywhere cause she’s the love of my life and I’m not letting her go. Things got better and before long it was time for me to travel back there. Things were great until about 2 weeks into my trip. I met her family and they seemed to like me but she started going cold on me again and when I asked her what was going on, she started with the whole “You deserve better than me” stuff. This time I wasn’t able to talk her out of it and it just got worse and worse until she ended things completely a few days before I left to come back to AU. I thought it was over and I was beyond broken and devestated. A few days later, she called me crying saying how sorry she was and how much she messed up. I love this girl more than anyone I’ve ever loved so I of course accepted her apology even though she had put me through hell in the last 2 months. Fast forward to a few days ago, she starts going cold again and we had a fight because I was pushing her to get her passport so she could come to Australia. Her answers were always the same “I want to, im just too messed up in the head right now to think clearly and function” I had to put my foot down. I told her if she can’t love me how I love her then to let me go.. So she did. I haven’t heard from her in 3 days and I’m thinking this might be the end. I want more than anything for her to come back and realise her mistakes.. I’m not really looking for advice, more so just to vent. I know I did the right thing for me, but would like to hear other people’s experiences with partners and depression though. Did they come back eventually? Did things ever change and get better?

NotSoSunny Will I be alone for the rest of my life?
  • replies: 4

I don't want to live like this. I've been single for almost five years. I'm 36, and nobody asks me out except for old gross men. I don't have kids or pets and I think about suicide every day. People tell me I'm attractive but I don't see it. I've tri... View more

I don't want to live like this. I've been single for almost five years. I'm 36, and nobody asks me out except for old gross men. I don't have kids or pets and I think about suicide every day. People tell me I'm attractive but I don't see it. I've tried everything - group sports, the gym, healthy eating, online dating - but nothing works. I now am struggling to do anything at work because I'm so unmotivated. Does anyone have any advice? I have lost hope that I'll ever find a husband or have kids, and I have just a glimmer of hope that one day I might not have to wake up alone like I do every other day