Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Lonelyness I feel like nobody in my family likes me.
  • replies: 3

My parents are getting a divorce which my mother asked for a year or so ago and after my dad had moved out I don't think me loves me anymore. I saw my friend the other day and she was with me for longer than I had seen my dad in 2 weeks. My brother i... View more

My parents are getting a divorce which my mother asked for a year or so ago and after my dad had moved out I don't think me loves me anymore. I saw my friend the other day and she was with me for longer than I had seen my dad in 2 weeks. My brother is overly dramatic and has anger issues and my mum doesn't understand me and I don't feel like I can let her in. I've never felt suicidal but I also don't think things will get better. I see a therapist but she doesn't help much either. In basically just lost and lonely.

Pineapple_head Partner left me due to possible anxiety
  • replies: 7

Hi, am hoping for some opinions in hope of finding closure as I'm struggling with my mental health as a result of this. 2 mths ago my partner of 3 years broke up with me. We had a fantastic relationship built on solid foundations of trust & love. We ... View more

Hi, am hoping for some opinions in hope of finding closure as I'm struggling with my mental health as a result of this. 2 mths ago my partner of 3 years broke up with me. We had a fantastic relationship built on solid foundations of trust & love. We laughed a lot & clicked in a way that she nor I have ever experienced. She herself still says all of that now, which is why I'm so confused. About 6 months ago she moved in. This was during a stressful period in her life as she is in the police academy. Living together felt easy but due to her work we were unable to spend quality time together. I'd spend my days contemplating what I could do to help her destress in the evenings. I'd cook for her & try to make her feel special. Then I'd leave her to do her study. On coming to bed she would be distant & not converse. It was a routine of checking facebook meticulously & then sleeping. I figured all was ok as she would hold me all night upon turning the light out. I thought we were okay. Fast forward to a few months later. I went to USA for 5 weeks. She kissed me goodbye at the airport & kept in touch via text. Just before I got home she even suggested that if I were to propose to her, she would say yes. On arriving home however, she wasn't excited to see me. I asked if everything is ok with us & she hesitantly said she doesn't know how she feels about us anymore. She feels detached from everyone so it could just be anxiety causing it, or she's fallen out of love. She wasn't certain she wanted to break up but we ended it. Over the next 2 months we caught up. She said she'd made a big mistake & wanted to fix us. Then she was confused again. Then she'd say she still loves & misses me. She said that in those last months we were together & while I was overseas, she felt so anxious that her head felt like it was going to explode, she felt irritable & tired & just wanted to be alone. She even read up on hypervigilance & said that she related with the withdrawals this causes in a person's home environment. She said it feels right when we catch up, she doesn't want to close the door on our amazing relationship. I was so stupid & should've cut it off as yesterday she said she still doesn't know how she feels & that I shouldn't wait anymore. My issue is that she won't give me any reasoning. She maintains that she doesn't know why, even though I'm perfect for her. I don't know how to get over this without any closure. I am so depressed that all I want is to sleep & cry.

Ella_May Is my ex suffering from a mental health disorder? Broke up with me out of the blue. Completely different person.
  • replies: 5

Hi, this is my first thread. Apologies if I am in the wrong discussion. Six weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me, completely out of the blue. Things have been amazing between us, so for him to end it so instantly with no warning signs h... View more

Hi, this is my first thread. Apologies if I am in the wrong discussion. Six weeks ago my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me, completely out of the blue. Things have been amazing between us, so for him to end it so instantly with no warning signs has completely torn my world in two. He told me he loved me everyday, and the day before we broke up was an amazing day filled with so much love (as normal). The following day we had a squabble over something ridiculous regarding the house we share, and boom-just like that he broke up with me. He uncontrollably cried for 6 hours and couldn’t stop. The next day he woke up and he was a shell of himself. I noticed he was late for work and as I entered the room I found him sat up right, just staring at the walls. He pushed me away from that point onwards saying that he doesn’t have a reason for the breakup - it’s just something doesn’t feel right. He then went to see a psychologist that week - but still insisted I stay far away from him and that I needed to “move on”. He is a doctor, under tremendous pressure all of the time and due to being on call - he has interrupted sleep most nights of the week. I know that he had a manic episode in his late teens which lead to him being on meds for some time. I tried to make him acknowledge that perhaps this could be the case again, but he said he is fine and he feels fine. He refuses to ever see a psychiatrist again...I believe this is because he feels it wouldn’t look good for a doctor to be on meds for a mental health issue. Which breaks my heart. I feel like my boyfriend is in there somewhere...but it’s been 6 weeks and he’s still just so cold. He has shown no empathy towards me or the situation, he’s just switched off like he never knew me in the first place. Has anyone experienced anything similar with regards to these behaviours? I honestly feel in my heart that something has happened psychologically. I’ve also noticed that he has invested a lot of money recently. Which is so unlike him. I feel that may have a connection to the first episode when he was younger of getting involved with businesses and financial investments. But maybe I’m just reading into everything too much? I don’t know what to do, apart from give him the space he asks for. Any advice on this would be appreciated. Big thanks

Hope_for_better Mumma having a hard time dealing
  • replies: 5

Hello I feel stupid writing on this page but just need to vent I’m loosing my mind and who I am as a person. Some days I just feel I can’t cope with my childrens constant fighting, bickering and mess that they leave. It hurts me that when I try to ex... View more

Hello I feel stupid writing on this page but just need to vent I’m loosing my mind and who I am as a person. Some days I just feel I can’t cope with my childrens constant fighting, bickering and mess that they leave. It hurts me that when I try to explain to them how sad it makes me it goes in one ear and out the other. My husband has worked away in the mines for the last 10 years so for that time I have done most of this parenting gig on my own. It’s hard being the one who does all the disciplining and then he comes home and is their best friend because they have all missed each other. I don’t blame him or resent him for that he works very hard to provide for our family. I do however resent him for not understanding how I feel and how badly these things are effecting me. He just thinks I’m going on my little rant again. Some days I just want to pack my bags and leave.. my only heart pull is how much I actually love them. Im tired of being the sad angry yelling mother that I have become I want my boys to be able look back when they are older and have memories of a nice mum one that didn’t yell and cry when thing got to hard. I know that I am the only one that can change my thought process and make the change i just don’t know how when I feel this way.

ravenm unsure
  • replies: 5

Ok here goes. I have 2 kids, 4 & 18 months. Youngest to my current partner who I've been with for nearly 3 years. He is a good dad and i know he loves me. Our relationship has been difficult from the start. I had known him a week when he told me he u... View more

Ok here goes. I have 2 kids, 4 & 18 months. Youngest to my current partner who I've been with for nearly 3 years. He is a good dad and i know he loves me. Our relationship has been difficult from the start. I had known him a week when he told me he uses marijuana regularly. I told him i could not be in a serious relationship with someone who does drugs. He told me he would give up weed, cigarettes and alcohol for the chance to be with me. I told him it was NOT a good idea as he could become resentful. He gave it up but very soon became angry towards me. He'd call me names, scream horrible words to me and everything was my fault. I moved in with him and got pregnant - both which i did just to make him happy. On both occasions i tried to come to an agreement to wait a while, but he got emotional and made me feel like a bad person for saying no. My own fault- i was weak. I Seriously considered abortion and leaving for good but couldn't do it, so i made the decision to try make it work. Throughout my pregnancy and the first 6 months of our babies life, my partner would go out a few nights a week, never telling me until long after i was expecting him. Some times he wouldn't be home till the next day. I had a 3 year old and a newborn- i needed a hand and i wanted a bit of routine. I told him he could go out on tues, fri and sat nights and not even have to text me. But he couldn't keep to that for even a few days. He was also using cocaine. I moved out to a friend's rental when bub was 6 months. Thats when he "woke up" and started to become the man i needed him to be. I saw small changes and when he asked me to move back in with him (so his parents-who were soon coming to visit from interstate- didnt have to know / stress about our break up) i did. But i made him promise me 3 things first. No cocaine. He must tell me somewhat in advance if he's not coming home. And we agreed he could smoke weed at home but only a couple times a week and after kids go to sleep. He broke all promises and still continues to smoke weed multiple times a day. He has smoked in front of the kids and driven with the kids right after smoking. He is a good dad, He provides for us. But I've lost trust in him. He has disrespected me too much. Broken promises. When i try to talk to him about it, he groans and walks away. Nothing ever gets resolved. I love him. But now im resentful.. towards him but more towards myself as i shouldn't have let it all happen. I need general advice please.

Lostchild2209 Help needed
  • replies: 2

I don’t know what to do anymore my parents hate me and the only one in my family that still talks to me is my youngest sister. I live with my father and my step mother and I don’t know what Ive done to make everyone mad. Tonight everyone ate dinner w... View more

I don’t know what to do anymore my parents hate me and the only one in my family that still talks to me is my youngest sister. I live with my father and my step mother and I don’t know what Ive done to make everyone mad. Tonight everyone ate dinner without me while I was in my room nobody bothered to come tell me dinner was ready so I didn’t eat and most nights when I finish work late I come home and have to go straight to be because nobody saves me any food from dinner. I’m losing weight and I’m scared because I just want my parents to love me and be proud of me. I’m the oldest and my little sister looks up to me but my step mother always says I’m a bitch and a slut and that i should go back to wher I came from. I really need some advice please

Sorrowfly Depression, loss of sex and pregnant.
  • replies: 1

Hi, first time poster here. I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doe... View more

Hi, first time poster here. I feel like im going to explode, any help would be greatly appreciated. Me and my partner love each other very much but were stuck in a badly timed crappy situaion right now which i fear is going to tear us apart if it doesnt get resolved. I have BPD and am terrible at regulating and articulating my emotions, im also 9 months pregnant due any moment now. My partner lost his dad a year ago and is very depressed. The main problem is we haven't had sex in months, which i totally understand why he isn't feeling it, him and his dad were very close. My raging hormones won't let me ignore these intense feelings no matter how hard i try to distract myself, i feel so shit about feeling this way, i just want to be there to comfort him and help him through but its been going on for so long now i feel like my body is going to be ruined after the birth so i feel like theres a time limit also. He just distracts with weed, games and scrolling through facebook. All the time. Whenever i try to talk to him about how the lack of affection in our relationship is affecting me it both comes out wrong and upsets him. So i feel i can't talk to him anymore, i just pretend im fine to create a happy atmosphere for our family but im about to break. Its all building up inside brewing some real negative feelings within me. I love him so i don't want these feelings, but as much as i try they won't leave me alone. It keeps me up at night, iv given him so many help options to try but he wont reach out. I need him more than ever, its been a terrible pregnancy with many complications and i don't want to bring our baby into this mess. The constant rejection and body changes has left me with no self-esteem and very frustrated, often thinking about doing very stupid things. Im so worried i will have no self control when the babys born and drink myself stupid, im already having these thoughts and i feel so guilty for even having them. I just want to make him happy. Please be gentle, im very embarrassed about this.

Michelle2000 How to stop myself going back
  • replies: 5

Trying not to run back to what i know will be a bad relationship but my anxiety gets the better of me. I dont want to be lonely though.. what can you do to stop ypurself going back out of loneliness or worse falling into a rebound or one night stands... View more

Trying not to run back to what i know will be a bad relationship but my anxiety gets the better of me. I dont want to be lonely though.. what can you do to stop ypurself going back out of loneliness or worse falling into a rebound or one night stands.. i know its weak not being able to be alone but id give anything to even have a chat buddy

Chansy Husband of 5 years is asking for divorce
  • replies: 5

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for almost 5 years. He is asking for a divorce and is already seeing other people I am barely coping with this. I cry all the time and I’ve asked for him to give us a chance but refuses I do... View more

My husband and I have been together for 6 years and married for almost 5 years. He is asking for a divorce and is already seeing other people I am barely coping with this. I cry all the time and I’ve asked for him to give us a chance but refuses I dont know how I’m supposed to get through this. We live together but seperately and it’s killing me knowing we don’t have a future I don’t know which way to turn anymore

kanga_brumby An apology
  • replies: 8

To all my BB friends and supporters out there. I would like to apologize for my mind set over the last few months. Because of the rift that has been happening with in my family. Plus coupled in there with that being put into an old age home. Getting ... View more

To all my BB friends and supporters out there. I would like to apologize for my mind set over the last few months. Because of the rift that has been happening with in my family. Plus coupled in there with that being put into an old age home. Getting no visitors, not being able to get out because of mobility issues. Trapped in a building with no peers to interact with. Surrounded by people who have various stages of dementia, me with most of my facilities. People in here meaning well posing various questions meaning I have to repeat myself or put it out again in a different way. Sometimes having to tell people off line the same stories over and over .Meaning I am getting nowhere. Cannot get out because My legs not working, staff thinking I have dementia, no visitors, family not responding to messages or cutting me off when I call. All that is doing wonders for my depression, anxiety, if I didn’t have it before I really do now. I have not closed the door between me and my siblings. I have put the invite out to them I made the move quietly. Now it’s in their side of the caught they have to now make the effort. I cannot do all the work it’s a team effort. They no longer seem to know their own brother. If they don’t know me now they never will. If they don’t at least converse with me. So to my BB friends Sorry. forgive me please if possible go a bit easy on me a bit as things are still a bit raw and painful I am working on my family I wont give upon them I have worked on them for over 60 years I wont give up just yet. Kanga