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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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LUCIDFOX_X I went through his phone... And found this...
  • replies: 2

I looked through his phone at the end of January... And I found that he sent photos of me to one of his best friends. The photos of me were topless (nude). I haven't said anything for the past 4-5 months. I don't know what to do. I want to talk about... View more

I looked through his phone at the end of January... And I found that he sent photos of me to one of his best friends. The photos of me were topless (nude). I haven't said anything for the past 4-5 months. I don't know what to do. I want to talk about it but I don't know how to approach the situation? I am so scared that he will just use that I went on his phone on his messages and use that as his argument. He is very stubborn and I feel I will struggle when I try to speak to him about this. I am a very soft and sensitive person. I have said to him that I hate people who invade others privacy, but I did it to him. I am not sure what to do... How do I bring this up calmly to discuss it? I still don't know if I want to bring it up because I don't know if I want the relationship to end... He is my best friend and he's my rock. Despite this. We have had issues with trust in the past. Please, any advice?

Shelbie Pain and torture- inlove with an ex who gives nothing back.
  • replies: 2

Hi all, so my ex partner and I broke up 6 months ago as he has really bad mental issues which made him cheat on me once and just change personalities so he ended it to stop hurting me. We still talk everyday and would be together if we could. I am so... View more

Hi all, so my ex partner and I broke up 6 months ago as he has really bad mental issues which made him cheat on me once and just change personalities so he ended it to stop hurting me. We still talk everyday and would be together if we could. I am so inlove with this boy but it’s like he’s died, he’s a complete different person, he hasn’t no feeling so for anyone or anything anymore, and loving him is so painful. I’m in pain everyday, it is torture. I can’t stop loving him, and im depressed over it as I get nothing from him. Everyday is a struggle for me, I know I can’t be with him, how do you live loving someone you can never be with? I’d rather endure physical pain than be tortured with this everyday of my life, I’m so done, I don’t know how to go on with this anymore, it’s been 6 months of endured torture.. I’m at my whits end with this situation and im not strong enough to let go.. I’ve tried..

J_123 If I wasn't married, I would break up with him
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone, long story so please bear with me. I desperately need help. I've been married for nearly 2 years but with him for 7. I've always felt lonely, never part of a team, always a bit bored, but I figured that this is as good as it gets. Almost... View more

Hi everyone, long story so please bear with me. I desperately need help. I've been married for nearly 2 years but with him for 7. I've always felt lonely, never part of a team, always a bit bored, but I figured that this is as good as it gets. Almost a year ago to the day, I caught up with my friend who I've known for 6 years and something felt different, something clicked. Neither of us tried for this to happen, in fact we actively tried for it NOT to happen, but over the course of the year we developed deep feelings for each other. He lives in a different state now and at this point has said we need to stop talking to each other for a while because I need to sort myself out. My husband is a good person, but I sincerely feel that we have nothing substantial in common. He wants a house and kids, and i want to travel and I do not want kids. I always tried to convince myself that I did, but I realised recently that I don't, at least not for a very long time and he wants them within a few years. As for the little things, he has never wanted to do things that I want to do, if it wasn't his idea it wasn't a good idea. He doesn't like coming out with me, he never liked visiting my family, and I always feel like I'm casting around for things to say. Yes, I was in love with him, but now I realise (with the help of my friend) that even in our best moments, I always felt like I was walking on eggshells and that I had CONVINCED myself that this was as good as it was going to get. I've AlWAYS felt unappreciated. I really don't think we are right for each other and I find myself thinking "I wish "my friend" was here" in every single situation, where as I enjoy time apart from my husband more than time with him. The kicker is I brought this up (nix the other man) and in the past week my husband has been trying very hard, except I feel it's too late and everything he is doing is making me cringe and just annoying me. But he is a very good man (except the mild neglect and selfishness that he's now trying to fix), he clearly loves me, and I don't want to hurt him. But I am betraying myself if I stay, I don't love him, I don't want to be here. I think if I stay I'll always resent him for holding me back. This isn't new. I've been complaining about being lonely for years. Just about all the anxiety attacks I've had in have been related to him in some way. It's just that I recently realised it wasn't my fault. Thanks for sticking it out, any help is appreciated

Spw63 Sad & Lonely
  • replies: 4

Hi all I recently joined well I’m married but very sad and lonely. I told the wife I was seeing a psychologist but no reaction so not sure what to do she has no idea how bad I really feel.The main problem is that I met a lady online we chatted and fl... View more

Hi all I recently joined well I’m married but very sad and lonely. I told the wife I was seeing a psychologist but no reaction so not sure what to do she has no idea how bad I really feel.The main problem is that I met a lady online we chatted and flirted it was so much fun she’s gone now but made me realise how sad and lonely my life really is.So hard every day to keep going

Fergy16 Black Sheep of the Family
  • replies: 4

Hi, This is my first time posting so here goes. I am a 45 year old married woman with two teenager children. My parents divorced when I was 18 and my mother left the family home. Since then I seem to have become the family scapegoat while my younger ... View more

Hi, This is my first time posting so here goes. I am a 45 year old married woman with two teenager children. My parents divorced when I was 18 and my mother left the family home. Since then I seem to have become the family scapegoat while my younger brother has taken on the role of the golden child. My brother is now 41. My father is a wealthy man who has given my brother a very well paid role in my father’s business and has moved my brother and his wife and children to Melbourne where he is living. I am living in Brisbane and now find myself responsible for my mother’s emotional and physical well being. We have never had a close relationship as her narcissistic behaviours prevented any closeness. I do however make sure that I go on outings with her regularly so that she doesn’t get lonely. She went through a very bad break up about 3 years ago and is living on her own. Despite this, she never posts any of this on her Facebook feed. To other family members it would appear as if I don’t exist in her life. I makes me seem like I am a bad daughter. Whereas my brother visited recently and they went out for dinner (I was not aware of this) as my brother and I are estranged. My mother then posted on Facebook about how wonderful it was to see him and how much she misses him and loves him to bits. Then other family members commented about what a wonderful son he is. There was and has never been any mention of me. This hurts me to the core and has been going on for many years. My father often tells me during phonecall that my husband deserves a medal for being married to me. I don’t know why they think I am so awful and I am beginning to think there is something wrong with me. I never call my dad anymore because I am so afraid of being put down. Sometimes this is about my job. I am a teacher. At other times it is about my parenting, or the behaviour of my children. Anything really. So he calls me regularly. I just feel so worthless.

Brad49 My wife Left me Sept 21st
  • replies: 48

After my wife gave birth I lost connection with her I tried getting it back but couldn't.. She was distant... Next thing I knew I found out she was having a Affair. The first time she came back she said she only did cause she loved me. I tried puttin... View more

After my wife gave birth I lost connection with her I tried getting it back but couldn't.. She was distant... Next thing I knew I found out she was having a Affair. The first time she came back she said she only did cause she loved me. I tried putting a stop to it.. But the other Guy kept chasing after her.. and she had more and more secret liasons. Until finally in September this year she decided to leave me for the other man.Its been 2 months now . I'm on meds anti depressents and anxiety pills.. I'm doing my best to move on. Its so difficult. The problem is my wife is very nieve(all her friends tell me) and was manipulated into this relationship. She lost all her friends and family by being with this guy.They told her not to do it. And recently I cut her off from access to her son. She has no money no job no government benefits and is sponging off this new boyfriend. The problem is even after everything shes done I still love her very much. I'm dating I'm seeing other women. I'm going to the gym I'm getting trim taught and terrific. I keep on waiting for someone to tell me that my wifes relationship with her boyfriend is over.. I know Affairs don't last long but is it just me thinking that this relationship shes in wont last?

RCR Getting over being cheated on
  • replies: 5

5 years ago, with the birth of our second child, my wife was diagnosed with post natal depression and anxiety. Our second son did not sleep well and our first had been diagnosed with high functioning autism, which added to the stress we were both und... View more

5 years ago, with the birth of our second child, my wife was diagnosed with post natal depression and anxiety. Our second son did not sleep well and our first had been diagnosed with high functioning autism, which added to the stress we were both under. I developed a sleep disorder which resulted in me sleep walking and acting aggressive at nights. I went to a sleep specialist and the sleep disorder was soon under control with the help of a CPAP machine to treat sleep apnea I didn't even know I had, while my wife went to a psychologist. The next 5 years were difficult as my wife continued to be distant with both our children and me. We went to marriage counselling and I put everything I had into the relationship. A normal day would involve me getting up early to have the boys fed, dressed and ready to walk out the door for school. I would often make my wife a cooked breakfast and leave notes, telling her she is loved and valued, around the house. After a full day of work I would return to make dinner and put the boys to bed. I would then clean while my wife went on drives to get some space. I'd make lunches for everyone with a note for her to read at lunch on the days she worked. I also took the boys to my parent's house for a few nights each holidays. Every year on her birthday I would arrange babysitters, a hotel and things to do in the city for us both, as well as other date nights throughout the year. I thought things were progressing well, even though I felt I was the only one making an effort, I felt we were going ok. In march this year my wife informed me that she had been having an affair with an ex boyfriend 'for a while'. At least a year, probably more. I later discovered it was only over because the other guy's wife had found her photos on his phone. Turns out he told her he loved her and that they would escape each other's problems together. When discovered he told his wife she was just a crazy person who sent him nudes and denied any relationship. Although she acknowledges she was being used, she still loves him and I have spent many nights comforting her broken heart. In a lot of ways I feel like we are closer now and communicating better, and when I am with her I forget how hurt and betrayed I feel. But, at night and while I'm at work, I feel like a rabbit is trying to escape my chest as I picture them together and rethink every moment of the past year or more. I've forgiven her, I'll never stop loving her, but will I ever get over the pain?

Rospat Dealing with friendship loss
  • replies: 3

Some years ago I was a fulltime carer for an elderly family member, and consequently became very socially isolated. When my parent passed away I went on a seniors forum as a means of starting some social interaction. I went to some social events they... View more

Some years ago I was a fulltime carer for an elderly family member, and consequently became very socially isolated. When my parent passed away I went on a seniors forum as a means of starting some social interaction. I went to some social events they organized and was befriended by a member with whom I had something in common as we had both dealt with family members with Aspergers. We became very close friends, went out, had fun, our families also joined in the friendship. She often told me that I was her only friend and seemed to really value me as a person. Then there was a change in her family's circumstances, which they dealt with, but it meant she was not available to me as much. I understood this, was supportive and we met up whenever we could. However this became less and less, she was hard to contact and when we were together she started to be bitter, critical and sarcastic. I wondered if she had gone off some medication - she had formerly taken anti depressants and HRT meds. Finally after no contact for a while I sent her a nice birthday card and a message asking if I had somehow offended her. She emailed back in a very nasty tone saying that she knew I had gone cold on the friendship!!! I was amazed and tried to reassure her but she was just very hostile and unpleasant. Anyway that ended the friendship. it has taken me some time to get over this - actually I have been dumped in a similar manner before. I try to get on with life and be positive but the sadness gnaws at me, plus I am lonely. I have joined a walking group and made casual friends but it seems I am not destined to have any close friendships.

Taylah75 Break up due to sons behaivour
  • replies: 15

Need some advice. ive been in a relationship for close to 12 months. I have a 12 Ye old and my partner has a 9 Ye old full time and doesn't see the mum which he seems to accept. I've had ongoing issues with my sons behaivour with his disrespect towar... View more

Need some advice. ive been in a relationship for close to 12 months. I have a 12 Ye old and my partner has a 9 Ye old full time and doesn't see the mum which he seems to accept. I've had ongoing issues with my sons behaivour with his disrespect towards me and attitude. Yes he's 12 but it's an issue at times where adults don't want to be around him. He's great everywhere at school with friends and when he stays at people's houses and everyone comments on how good he is. we all went away at Christmas with other families and my sons behaivour wasn't great. It did put a downer on the holiday a little. At that time I thought I need to book him to a psych which he has been to every now and then but the whole month of Jan she cancelled his appointments for family reasons. At the time my BF wasn't happy with his behaivour and he said at Xmas he had my back and support. Last Sunday we were at his friends house and their kids had a fight with my son and he called the girl a "... dog" NOT OK. My bf was outside and I left and wanted to chat after the fact. Basically he said he wanted out of the relationship when we spoke in person he said it was due to my son. My son sent my BF a message saying sorry and I need some help with my behaivour and I don't want you to break up with mum. He did acknowledge his message and say he needed to work out his own issues. He rang me the next day after the text from my son Saying He was weak and He wasnt happy how He handled the situation and it's how he rolls within relationships and he's scared and felt trapped but couldn't explain that. I'm not high maintenence in any form. We never had a fight in the year and our two boys are great together no issues there. We were happy nothing else I see was bad. We were telling each other we loved each other the day before this incident occurred. My BF is under severe pressure with his business financially and had two mates pass away in November. I just feel he's done a knee jerk reaction. I sent him a message saying you said you wanted to talk more and I do too and his response was "I'll call you when my head is clear" so I said ok it would be better to communciate sooner rather than later that was only on Wednesday. Feel confused