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Rletionship breakup help

Community Member

Hi all,

So short version is I was with a girl I loved for the better part of 3 years, proposed to her at 2 years and she said yes, had a son 6 months later but now she ended everything saying shortly after his birth she gradually stopped being in love with me and didn't feel anything for the fact I proposed to her anymore.

We're stuck living together for another few weeks until I can find another place, due to me not being able to afford the home by myself rent-wise and I don't want to force it on my son, and all I can think about is why didn't want to keep trying to fix things between us. I've asked but all she can tell me is it was something in her head and isn't something that can just be fixed like 'that'. I understand that but after making such a big commitment to her, my son too now aswell, I can't understand not doing more to do everything possible to make our family and 'us' work.

There was no abuse, mental or physical. Sure I wasn't the picture perfect person when helping with things sometimes but nobody is however I have a son and stepdaughter from a previous relationship so I am well aware of what I should and should not be doing to support her and him.

We were the best of friends during the entire time however now I find it so difficult to give her the time of day to talk to me, let alone about her feelings about everything because she chose this instead of speaking to me when it may have worked out. So I guess my main question to anyone is how do I look at her differently enough to let her talk about her feelings like she needs, maybe me also at the same time, when she has directly said that we are not going to get back together at all.



2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
Hello Rob, I'm really sorry that this has happened.

Communication between the two of you has broken done and perhaps it's not that she stopped being in love with you but she might be suffering from PND.

Just briefly my wife suffered from PND so she fell out of love with me only because her postpartum depression or postnatal depression took hold of her, but also I was affected enough so that I also suffered from PND myself.

There are other symptoms but everyone is different and no one can be blamed for having this.

Can I suggest that the two of you go and see your doctor, then they can diagnose her and then offer the appropriate medication and counselling, for both of you.

Her illness is telling her to say that 'you are not going to get back together at all'.

If you were best friends then you certainly loved each other, I hope it can be reunited again. Geoff.

Community Member

Thanks Geoff for your advice but unfortunately because we've been living in a situation being forced around each when it hasn't been entirely healthy the normal friend relationship has deteriorated to where she given up completely on any semblance of 'us' and is talking to new people. It wouldn't be a worry as much for me but one of those is an ex that she has always had intense feelings for thus because of recent events she emotionally reconnected to them.

I'm planning on going to a DiD group meeting this week for myself so I can not hold onto any negative feelings in the future since regardless what happens the kids come first, even if I stay single for a while it's not so bad.