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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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AtHomeDad At Home Dads
  • replies: 1

This thread is dedicated to all At Home Dads that may be struggling with anxiety and depression due to the stresses of family life in our modern world. Struggling with their identity as human beings, finding their place amongst family and friends and... View more

This thread is dedicated to all At Home Dads that may be struggling with anxiety and depression due to the stresses of family life in our modern world. Struggling with their identity as human beings, finding their place amongst family and friends and dealing with the stigma that surrounds being an At Home Dad in a still genderist society. This thread it is hoped to be a place for such men to talk openly about their experiences and struggles and perhaps give each other support. My name is At Home Dan, I am 44 years old, I have been an AHD for all of my marriage which will be for 20 years next year. My daughters are two very well adjusted people and are now starting their lives, my wife and I believe we have done a very good job with them, but not without our struggles. It has been very difficult being an At Home Dad in a fairly genderist society, I have been openly mocked by friends and family alike, with most believing that it is the male that needs to work while the wife stays at home with the children. It has left me with absolutely no confidence and at 44 my job prospects are limited, I have been working from home since about 2007 as an ebay seller turning a hobby into at least some money. But none of this is recognised as "actual" work by my family, in-laws have managed to even make my children believe that I have never made a contribution, yet I have done all the things that a "house wife" would have done, cooking, cleaning and looking after the children. I was diagnosed with GAD with a Chronic Depression about 6 years ago when my marriage was on the rocks and it seemed that the whole thing was going to come undone. This all happened when I started to become popular on the internet with my hobby business, more and more time was spent on this and less on my wife and children...guess I just wanted a little something for myself, some recognition...from somewhere. It was fun while it lasted but I had a choice my family or my hobby business. During my breakdown and subsequent depression I sought the support of my friends and family and discovered that I had none, I also sought the support of mental health professionals and self-help groups which were great. I sought the help from men's groups and found that they were few and far between and none of them really understood the plight of the At Home Dad. I still suffer from GAD. I thought I would post this thread and see if there were any other AHDs that may feel the same isolation and loneliness. Dan

Comments101 Family or not?
  • replies: 2

So i moved out of home this year (2017) ,where i moved they rent rooms out, my Aunty said to upgrade to a bigger room... I was hesitant for a while till she said i'll give you extra money if needed, so i decided to upgrade... Anyway a couple months h... View more

So i moved out of home this year (2017) ,where i moved they rent rooms out, my Aunty said to upgrade to a bigger room... I was hesitant for a while till she said i'll give you extra money if needed, so i decided to upgrade... Anyway a couple months have gone and when i asked for credit for my phone she said that she would not get me any because i owe her to much ($170) and Xmas is coming up i showed her something she could of got me and she said if she got the item i would owe her $200, so i'm paying for my owe gift?! Anyway i was wondering if you think if this is right or not ?? P.S my depression is really acting up because of this.

Maddy_84 Husband, no filter
  • replies: 2

So I need some advice, my husband gets home from work after we had a argument over the phone to find me, the kids and my mum, I can see he's angry, kicking stuff, yelling, carrying on like an imbecile. Then he turns around and calls my family scaveng... View more

So I need some advice, my husband gets home from work after we had a argument over the phone to find me, the kids and my mum, I can see he's angry, kicking stuff, yelling, carrying on like an imbecile. Then he turns around and calls my family scavengers in front of my mum. He has a tendency of putting my family down and making rude comments to their faces. He says if he's provoked why should he sit back and take it. I agree sometimes they deserve it but is that ok? Is it ok to put that pressure on me. I was shocked and knew this was going to make things very difficult for me. It's clear to say my mum is not happy about his behaviour or his comments and is really worried for our marriage. I never speak to his family with dis respect no matter what but he does to mine. It's made my Christmas uncomfortable and awkward. I don't know how to go about this now...

Roanna Emotional Affair Roller-coaster
  • replies: 15

This is probably going to sound like a bad soap opera but here goes. My husband recently had an emotional affair with a girl (I say girl because he is 23 and he is 32) at work. I found out, confronted him, he moved out for 2weeks during which I had m... View more

This is probably going to sound like a bad soap opera but here goes. My husband recently had an emotional affair with a girl (I say girl because he is 23 and he is 32) at work. I found out, confronted him, he moved out for 2weeks during which I had major emotional ups and downs but fought for our marriage, we officially broke up for 3 days then he came back and decided this is where he wants to be. The issue now is that they are "besties" (yes I said besties) and he's only been home for about 3-4 weeks so it's getting to me. I have told him that it hurts me the she's still around and he say he understands that but refuses to cut down on the contact he has with her outside of work even temporarily. This is the part that I hurting me the most. I know that I have to get passed it eventually but the fact that the only problem he sees with it is the one I cause when I get upset about it. I have told him that our needs to take priority and if they are such good friends she would understand that and give us our space and maybe one day we can all get along. I can compromise. Still my feelings are ignored. Not sure if I should talk to her myself, give him an altimatum, or just suck it up and get over it? We have been having some good times together over the past few weekends and our communication has definitely improved but I still feel like I'm fighting her for him. I don't NOT believe him when he says he loves me and wants to be with me, I can see in his face that he means it but not backing me up on this is a big deal to me. Not sure what I should do now.

Happiness_I_Miss_You How do you know if it's your anxiety or you don't love them?
  • replies: 2

I have had a partner for 9 months now. I don't enjoy time with him like I have with other relationships. Am I just really damaged or is he not for me? Is it possible for love to feel somewhat mediocre or do I just need to break up. Has anyone wondere... View more

I have had a partner for 9 months now. I don't enjoy time with him like I have with other relationships. Am I just really damaged or is he not for me? Is it possible for love to feel somewhat mediocre or do I just need to break up. Has anyone wondered the same? There is no other reason not to be with him besides my gut feeling telling me he isn't the one. Although we all know anxiety does terrible things to our gut feelings. I'm a grown woman with children and have had previous relationships. I am friends with my exes but have had a couple that have caused a lot of damage to my self esteem. I'm in therapy etc. Is it normal to not feel head over heels and settle??

Louelle11 Breakup Pain
  • replies: 6

Hi I have recently gone through a breakup, he was my first boyfriend and we were together 9 months. He was my everything, I loved him so much and he made me so happy. One night he said he didn't feel for me the way I did for him. This was 3 months ag... View more

Hi I have recently gone through a breakup, he was my first boyfriend and we were together 9 months. He was my everything, I loved him so much and he made me so happy. One night he said he didn't feel for me the way I did for him. This was 3 months ago. I am still struggling with the pain, I cry myself to sleep alot. I am scared I will never love again, that no one else will ever want me and more so that I will never get over him or be able to love anyone else. I was always terrified of losing him, I felt like he was my soul mate. He was everything I had ever wanted in a partner and now it has all gone. I felt at home with his family and with him. I don't know what to do now. Has anyone been through something similar? If so how did you get better, did you move on to other relationships? Does the pain ever subside? He was my first love, I am late 20's so feeling like I am running out of time as I want to settle down and start a family. I would love to chat to anyone who can help. Thankyou

Just Ken Bipolar and relationships
  • replies: 8

Having never had a relationship and now have found someone who everything seems to be progressing well, I'm getting a little worried about how my bipolar is going to affect things. Obviously there is a certain responsibility on me to try and minimise... View more

Having never had a relationship and now have found someone who everything seems to be progressing well, I'm getting a little worried about how my bipolar is going to affect things. Obviously there is a certain responsibility on me to try and minimise the effects, but it isn't always possible. If I'm depressed then being close to people becomes painful and I wouldn't even think about sex. At least with hypomania there are ways around the constant desire for sex. Anyway my thought was that any relationships the other person has to understand about bipolar, and how I feel often has nothing to do with anything I do and definitely nothing to do with her. Otherwise, things are not going to work out well. My strong feeling is that good relationships can help with bipolar and bad relationships will end up a mess. Is that other peoples experience?

mistyhaze What to do when your boyfriend is depressed?
  • replies: 1

My boyfriend of two years moved out on the weekend after being away for a week of work, and us arguing for most of it, he felt it was best if he left. His reasons were that he didnt feel the same way anymore. He wasnt happy, and he had never been hap... View more

My boyfriend of two years moved out on the weekend after being away for a week of work, and us arguing for most of it, he felt it was best if he left. His reasons were that he didnt feel the same way anymore. He wasnt happy, and he had never been happy. Moments where he looked happy were just fake and he was tired of faking it. He had suffered from depression in the past and was on medication when I met him. In the last 6 months he decided to go off his medication, but did agree to start seeing a psychologist and attended the GP appointment I arranged for him to get the referral. He has since been to 3-4 appointments wit the psychologist, and has barely read the information she has given him. He continues to feel nothing, and has a hard time communicating any feelings at all. He cant say that he cares about me when I ask, he has never said he loves me, and I do know that I put a lot of pressure on him in the past few months because I wasnt feeling my best. I was down and needed reassurance from him, but he couldnt say the words. Sex has been off the agenda for months but that is partly me not feeling good about myself either as well as his lack of drive. He has a history of running away from problems, and has moved so many times in his life, he really doesnt have a home. Through all this he focusses on work, and he's good at his work. He's intelligent and a hard worker. He's generous and kind but just doesnt feel and therefore doesnt act like he cares at some moments. I guess my question is, do I push to reignite the relationship and try to move forward? or is it time that I move on? My thoughts are that he needs to try harder on himself, but only he can chose to do that, and perhaps he's due to try meds again, maybe something different. I know its a long, hard road, but do I offer him support along the way in the hope we can resolve things or focus on moving down my own path?

notsorosey Does it get better?
  • replies: 16

My long term partner (over a decade together) left me a month ago. He is struggling with his own issues which he refuses to get help for but said he is lost and needs to separate. I’m really struggling. Im vomiting every morning and am awake at aroun... View more

My long term partner (over a decade together) left me a month ago. He is struggling with his own issues which he refuses to get help for but said he is lost and needs to separate. I’m really struggling. Im vomiting every morning and am awake at around 4 each morning half asleep and I can’t control the negative thoughts. He’s a completely different person atm and treating me like I’m the worlds worst person and I just want to move on but my brain and body just won’t let me. I’ve lost a lot of weight and I try to eat but can’t keep it down. I feel like a huge burden to everyone around me and it is hugely effecting the rest of my life including work. I am seeing a psychologist but I don’t seem to be getting any better. Would love suggestions from those that have been there. I have no answers, no closure, came pretty much out of the blue & I haven’t got a stable living situation ahead (only contracted till march and house sitting till jan). I honestly thought I wanted him back but the way I’ve been treated I have no idea why I still do. And I still need to see him regularly for the moment. Much appreciated.

Kidle Lonely ,just finding it hard to find any friends
  • replies: 21

Hi I am new here, for a very long time have tried to cope in life by icolating myself from people as I have never felt good enough to be considered friend matrial. I am now near fifty and have no real friends whom would want to spend time with me. I ... View more

Hi I am new here, for a very long time have tried to cope in life by icolating myself from people as I have never felt good enough to be considered friend matrial. I am now near fifty and have no real friends whom would want to spend time with me. I consider myself as worthless to others, but so want to change just to find one soul mate in life, don’t we all deserve that, I don’t know how, I am male , but just need some guardian angels to help.. anyone out there ...