Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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bluewater Why do we let it get there!
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I had a one night stand to begin with and then fell in love! Im stupid sadly I knew this couldn't work out and I became reckless and now I'm being ignored! Sadly at the time I craved attention and this person was what I wanted but had own issues and ... View more

I had a one night stand to begin with and then fell in love! Im stupid sadly I knew this couldn't work out and I became reckless and now I'm being ignored! Sadly at the time I craved attention and this person was what I wanted but had own issues and the feelings were one sided Gosh ive been through so much how do i just let this go. I've become the clingy person I dont even like. Texting. . I just want to stop! I've been told to use my block feature etc & think twice... none of this helps & I've lost way more important people in my life! This sucks

Missberri how to find love
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I would really like to start looking for a partner. I've been single for quite a long time and would just really like to find someone who I care about and who I can share everything with. The problem is I really don't feel like I'll be good enough fo... View more

I would really like to start looking for a partner. I've been single for quite a long time and would just really like to find someone who I care about and who I can share everything with. The problem is I really don't feel like I'll be good enough for anyone - in terms of my personality. I'm always told I'm the nicest and sweetest person but I don't think that's something most people want to be around all the time. I feel like most people want someone confident, who talks a lot and who's great to have conversations with, outgoing and who knows exactly who they are and what they want. I have so much trouble connecting with even my friends half of the time that I feel like there's no way I'll be able to find a guy who'll want to be around me for huge amounts of their time. Ugh I just feel like there's so much pressure to be someone I'm just not but I wish I could be! Has anyone got advice on how they've found love while living with social anxiety or any tips on how to make it easier? I feel like I'm missing out on this amazing part of life and really want to experience being with someone again, but I'm so worried I'm not going to be enough or I'll bring another person down. Thank you!

Crushing New here
  • replies: 6

This Is harder than I thought. Long story short, my husbands family Is destroying him. He has developed a panic disorder due to an incedent SIX months ago, involving his entire immediate family. His youngest sister's partner was a pig to him. When bo... View more

This Is harder than I thought. Long story short, my husbands family Is destroying him. He has developed a panic disorder due to an incedent SIX months ago, involving his entire immediate family. His youngest sister's partner was a pig to him. When both he and i stood up for ourselves, he was harrassed, pursued and threatended. His little sister attacked me physically, I did not retaliate. The vicious rumours and bullying have spiraled. There was a text from his middle sister at 7.30am this morning that sent me into the mother of all panic attacks (I myself am clinically depressed and suffer an anxiety disorder}. It was victim blaming, guilt tripping, false and cruel. Ultimately, I decided to delete it after franticly whispering to my mother over the phone. She had no advice for me, not for lack of trying and care. I'm freaking out, I have never lied or kept things form my husband before, believe it or not. These words would have broken him, of this I'm sure. Now I'm trembling uncontrollably, the smoke and drink barely make a dent. He's at work right now, due home In an hour. I'm terrified that he will come home home In a state and there will be nothing I can do to cease his pain. Please, please! Someone try and guide me.

Oz1969 Loneliness...
  • replies: 7

After all these years of dealing with all that life throws at me and being bi polar, it's just now that I feel lonely. Suddenly, almost 50, with kids that are reaching teenage stages meaning they do their own stuff a lot, I finally feel what it's lik... View more

After all these years of dealing with all that life throws at me and being bi polar, it's just now that I feel lonely. Suddenly, almost 50, with kids that are reaching teenage stages meaning they do their own stuff a lot, I finally feel what it's like having no friends. Dealing with the (very few) ups and mostly downs mental states on my own and still has to put on a smile at work. Loneliness has lifted it's ugly head and it hurts.

Dunno_anymore Iv got no idea
  • replies: 1

Have no idea what to say, I figure Iv been depressed for years now, always angry or sad, sad or angry, unless I'm drinking, mind you that's not very often i have three children, two of which are living with autism, I share custody of them 50/50 with ... View more

Have no idea what to say, I figure Iv been depressed for years now, always angry or sad, sad or angry, unless I'm drinking, mind you that's not very often i have three children, two of which are living with autism, I share custody of them 50/50 with my ex. She left me for a woman, that was a bit hard to accept but Iv moved past that anger and hurt, after all she's still a great mum I have a decent job that pays all the bills, I just hate most of the judgmental right wing rednecks I'm stuck working with, guys I thought were decent and considered friends have certainly shown their true colours whilst debating the marriage equality survey. id like to quit but if I lose my job I lose my house, my kids need somewhere to live long after I'm gone. i feel lost, I feel stuck, i feel weak, I feel like a failure for being here writing this, I feel like pressing delete and forgetting today

Mumof1 Advice required.
  • replies: 11

My 2nd thread and hope to get some advice. My daughter turning 17 in a month has major depression is on medication and seeing a pyscologist. My issue atm is with her boyfriends influence and her rudeness. I like the boyfriend who suffers from depress... View more

My 2nd thread and hope to get some advice. My daughter turning 17 in a month has major depression is on medication and seeing a pyscologist. My issue atm is with her boyfriends influence and her rudeness. I like the boyfriend who suffers from depression also as they understand each other BUT I'm scared that she relys on him so so much. My DR said let him stay as she got something that makes her happy and stopping suicide thoughts. He has basically moved in. What I'm having a issue with is she listens to only him. He is saying pyscologists aren't helpful didn't help him. I got cranky and said she is staying with hers and you aren't a DR..I NEVER get 2 mins of her time they r joined at the hip. I do remember what young love is like but her rudeness and anger is always directed at her family only.. i have tried talking to her but she yells and says i hate him etc. I try to advise her don't lose your friends they r important. I'm on eggshells as is my mum and sister as we don't know when she will explode. Any advice appreciated thanks.

Lalalovessunshine 21 year old mum who's lost and feeling lifeless
  • replies: 8

Hi guys I'm new and came here for somewhere to vent and find something but I'm not quiet sure yet. I probably don't make sense at all but the truth is I'm really lost. I'm a 21 year old young mum to a beautiful little girl. The past 3-4 years have be... View more

Hi guys I'm new and came here for somewhere to vent and find something but I'm not quiet sure yet. I probably don't make sense at all but the truth is I'm really lost. I'm a 21 year old young mum to a beautiful little girl. The past 3-4 years have been a struggle. I've had to be a single mum and I'm living at home with my parents. My mum has a drinking problem (for many years now) and also battles her own mental issues (I think biopolar or something similar) and the drinking makes her much worse. When she drinks she's somebody else and will almost every night want to fight or pick at you (we have a long history of fights due to her emotional abuse and drinking). My dad now has joined her and started drinking too much (a big disappointment because we used to be close and he was my only stable parental figure) and now I feel like I've lost him. The father of my child/boyfriend/dontknowwhatweare is in prison serving a 2 year sentence. I've dropped my whole life waiting for him/working on us with what we have and it's now with 6 months left of his sentence and I'm now breaking to bits. Everything is getting too much. My family home is a cold cold home where my parents make it very obvious I'm a burden and I'm not wanted here they just want to enjoy their own life. My partner is a good man that respects and loves me SO much but I feel like all the stress/hurt I held in over the past few years has now come to haunt me and I feel like I'm falling. I don't feel happy, I don't look forward to waking up tomorrow, I don't look forward to the future, I've lost all life in me. I spend my day in bed under the blanket lifeless. My daughter just plays around me and constantly asks me to come play but I just can't get up. I love her so much she's my whole life. She's everything to me and I promise her I'll be the best mum I can ever be and will vow to never be like my own that suddenly give up on me once I turned 20. I feel really drained emotionally. I feel like every day that passes I get sadder and I can't seem to find love that I crave especially from my mother and family. My partner promises to give me my dream family life when he comes out but I feel like it's too late my soul is so abused/tired that I don't look forward to tomorrow morning let alone in one years time. Not sure where I'm going or what I'm doing. I don't want to leave the house and at breaking point. Thank u in advance for reading and listening to me tonight. Would appreciate someone to offer advice

Pls_Help I Can't Stand My Brother But My Family Enables Him
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I am currently 18, and my older brother is 21 and we both live at home with our parents. My brother has never had a job and has only recently gone back to studying (he quit his TAFE course after 6 months then spent 2 years doing nothing) whereas I ha... View more

I am currently 18, and my older brother is 21 and we both live at home with our parents. My brother has never had a job and has only recently gone back to studying (he quit his TAFE course after 6 months then spent 2 years doing nothing) whereas I have been working since I was 14 and am studying full time at Uni. I know he has ASD or something similar but my parents don't talk about it when I'm around so I'm not 100% sure of what's wrong with him. He takes his anger out on me mostly e.g. if someone calls him out for being defensive he says things like "well X (me) is always attacking me so I have to be defensive". Which is a lie- I avoid him at all costs because I know he'll take it out on me and what's worse is my parents allow him to get away with this behaviour! He is also quite selfish- he gets paid by my parents to clean the house as a form of income but doesn't make any attempt to do a good job and often nags my parents for more money despite his terrible effort. And then he spends the money on stupid, unnecessary things. No matter what I say he takes it as a personal attack and lashes out at me. I have tried ignoring him to see if thT would help but it did absolutely nothing- he still blamed me for things happening to him. He also carries on about me never doing anything nice for him ever (thus verbatim not an exaggeration) despite me constantly lending him money knowing he won't pay me back and doing jobs for him and inviting him to things with a mutual friend, etc. Anyway I'm getting real sick of him blaming me for things that have happened as a result of his por behaviour not mine. Any suggestions on how to deal with this situation?

Guest_1584 How to cope with ex w's new man around my daughter - can be a chat thread for others if interested.
  • replies: 31

So many things now and over this last 6yrs,l feel as though people here might thing l'm making stuff up but ha, l wish !. We separated 5yrs ago,divorced 3y ago. together 19yrs. It was hell the first few yrs separating and although our marriage had be... View more

So many things now and over this last 6yrs,l feel as though people here might thing l'm making stuff up but ha, l wish !. We separated 5yrs ago,divorced 3y ago. together 19yrs. It was hell the first few yrs separating and although our marriage had been rough and l was no saint in our last few yrs, l wanted to save it , especially for my daughter and it was the hardest thing l have ever been through in my life. Well, ex met some guy , 6wks before we separated , 6wks compared to our 19yrs and our family. She starts seeing him full time when she moved out and had my daughter 60% of the time too , but we agreed that this guy or any future partners hers or mine were not allowed to be around my daughter until she was 16. She was 12 when we split, she's 16 now. Well , ex has married the guy. l won't go into this part here it's too long but as yet though they still don't live together and my daughter and ex still have there own unit. But ex does spend a lot of time over at his house, 12mins away, and just in this last few mths he's started being around my daughter and they take her places. It still makes me sick to the stomach, this is the guy that basically destroyed my family, and now he's taking them around in his car, my daughter even helped them with painting his house. Well , there's also been a couple of times they dropped her of here at my place too now. it just makes me puke , here's this guy and now ex's hub' bringing my daughter to me at my place. l dunno lf l'm being a big baby after 5yrs but it just feels like another knife in the heart every time. l don't want this guy at my house or with my daughter and l don't know how to deal with it or cope with it. l can;t help it or l don't know how too anyway. ex and l have worked well with parenting together right through but l fear that iif l was to ask her to keep him the hell away from my place and to bring my daughter herself, she might crack and make things hard me and my daughter,. it doesn't matter what rules or laws are in place , there are things a mother can easily do just by doing nothing at all even , tp make it harder and block the father in all sorts of ways. l don't really deal with ex as far as my daughter goes much anymore , it's mainly me and d organize our plans these days phone or text. Although we've kept most spite/bs out of this last 5yrs, she can still make things very awkward if l asked her this and it pissed her off. l just don't know, but seeing him rock up here makes me sick

Leighshan My husband has developed an Ice (Crystal Meth) and Sex Addiction and left me and our two children to pick up the pieces.
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Four days ago I found out that my husband, who I love and adore, has been smoking Ice and meeting strangers for sex for at least the last two months. We have a one year old and two year old and I have been home on maternity for the past two and a hal... View more

Four days ago I found out that my husband, who I love and adore, has been smoking Ice and meeting strangers for sex for at least the last two months. We have a one year old and two year old and I have been home on maternity for the past two and a half years during which I thought would be the best time of my life, but it has all gone miserably wrong. I have been seeing a counselor for the last year to help with depression which I have always struggled with. This was bought on by feelings of isolation as we don't have family in Australia and also because I wanted to stay home full time but struggled to find other mums who were doing the same in my area. My husband has been extremely supportive during this and always puts myself and the children before himself. Over the past year though, despite him being supportive, he has also been going through a stressful work situation and has become argumentative, emotionally and verbally abusive and unpredictable in regard to his mood. I have tried and tried to encourage him to seek help but it just kept falling on deaf ears. Now, here I am, devasted as I have found out what he has been up to behind my back. Today he checked in to a detox facility and insists that he will do anything he can to regain my trust so that he can come back home and be my husband and a father to his beautiful children again. I am just so exhausted after a week of absolute devastation and feel so lost as what to do. I am seeing a counselor for myself and my husband and I will be embarking on relationship counseling when he is discharged from detox, as well as he will be involved in an outpatient program for drug and alcohol abuse, as well as the sex addiction. I am in between counseling sessions and my husband is off in detox and I'm am just feeling so much pain right now, I am looking for extra support on this forum and advice and encouragement to help me find the strength to keep putting one foot in front of the other during this time. I have had family fly in from overseas to help me for a couple of weeks, so I am not looking after a baby and toddler full time alone, but that time will come soon and I need to be prepared and put some systems in place to ensure my children aren't affected and their lives continue to be happy and healthy despite the traumatic time their parents are going through. My heart aches and as someone who already struggles with depression, I am looking for all the support I can possible get right now.