Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

eeejaybee My story to try and explain why I am here
  • replies: 3

Hi all, I have always struggled with personal relationships. When people get to know me we stay solid and friends for years. When I was a teenager I moved away from home to the other side of the country to live a real life...20 years later I am isola... View more

Hi all, I have always struggled with personal relationships. When people get to know me we stay solid and friends for years. When I was a teenager I moved away from home to the other side of the country to live a real life...20 years later I am isolated and very lonely. I met a guy when I was in my mid 20s and we had a child together, but I couldn’t settle with him because he was an excuse maker and I didn’t want that for the rest of my life, in the end we were barely friends anyway so it was easy to walk away. Since then I have completed studies, got a great (if not high paying) job and was feeling better about me as a person. He has moved on and gotten married and had more kids, which is great for them I wish them well. After being a solo person for 10 years I had the good fortune of meeting up with a friend I had lost contact with about two years ago. He had been made some poor choices and was now divorced. So we started up a physical relationship in January. Midway through this year while I thought things were still fairly casual with him I got scared (10 years in the solo wilderness will do that) and tried to talk to him and gauge where he was at, it was probably bad timing because I had to pick my child up from work and the conversation was rushed. I thought we had parted that evening with an understanding that when he was ready I would be there for him. Apparently he did not hear that. He subsequently went on and started developing feelings for someone else and about 2months later after still coming and seeing me told me things had started getting serious with her. I was devastated and it was the final blow that sent me crumbling into a well of depression. I don’t think then relationship break up is what caused my depression I think I had already been suffering and struggling, but being a single parent for 15 years I just kept on pushing through. When I ended up in the GPs for the second time in a month crying in front of her she pescribed me some antidepressants. It’s been a tough couple of weeks while I get over the relationship and rejection, but I am getting there. The tablets help me with my anxiety and heading out into the real world is so much less daunting now. I guess I am leaving this post because I am finally admitting I have depression and anxiety and have had it all my life, but I have got help and it is working for me. I am still lonely and isolated and Christmas is going to be hard, so I will still be around to check in. e

Fa11on My Dad is severly depressed and anxious because of my narcissitic Mum.
  • replies: 1

Hi, I mostly made this account because I am really worried about my Dad's well-being and state of mind. For a few months now, my Mum has been running out of the house at night straight after work (works at home) and then staying over at one of her fr... View more

Hi, I mostly made this account because I am really worried about my Dad's well-being and state of mind. For a few months now, my Mum has been running out of the house at night straight after work (works at home) and then staying over at one of her friend's houses over night, and we barely get to see her. She is quite narcissistic (though not diagnosed), so is constantly telling us how we are not good enough and that we are ruining her life. I've grown up with this my whole life, so I'm used to this, but lately it has been making my Dad really depressed and anxious (is taking anti-anxiety drugs). They don't really fight, but it is the constant never wanting to have anything to do with him, or telling him that he isn't good enough that is getting to him. He still loves her so much and deserves so much better than her, but getting a divorce is not really an option for him. I'm a week off of being 19, and for the first time in my life, I saw him crying this afternoon, and I have no idea how to help or fix things between them (I have really bad social-anxiety that prevents me from talking to nearly everyone, so I don't know how to even comfort him in this). I just want my Dad to be happy. I was maybe thinking of talking to my Mum about this first though (maybe go out for coffee), though I don't know how well it will go, because if it is not about her, then she is rarely willing to listen and gets really mad about how nobody even cares about her. I don't know, I would really appreciate help with this.

Starkles87 Lonely 😔
  • replies: 3

I find it so hard to make friends. Im 30 and im single and alone. Weekends are hard because my 2 kids go to their father's and then its just me at home. Im so shy and i have been diagnosed with severe social aniexty along with other mental illnesses.... View more

I find it so hard to make friends. Im 30 and im single and alone. Weekends are hard because my 2 kids go to their father's and then its just me at home. Im so shy and i have been diagnosed with severe social aniexty along with other mental illnesses. I guess i just wish i could find a friend who gets me and i get them

GypsyRain Feel so alone
  • replies: 5

I’ve run out of places to turn so I thought I’d post here. I’m a single mother of a young child with no family or friends. I work part time but the people I work with are a lot older than me and never invite me out. I’ve tried to organise play dates ... View more

I’ve run out of places to turn so I thought I’d post here. I’m a single mother of a young child with no family or friends. I work part time but the people I work with are a lot older than me and never invite me out. I’ve tried to organise play dates for my little to make friends there but my invites are never replied to. My little one has never even been invited to a birthday party. I don’t have a partner and have tried the dating scene but figure out quickly everyone I meet just wants one thing. I even tried hobbies, like exercise classes ect but again no one ever wants to do anything afterwards. I don’t have any family, close or extended. We lost touching years ago and I’ve tried to track them down with no luck. It’s been like this for two years now and I’m really starting to feel like it’s me. I don’t even have my little ones father isn’t in the scene and I don’t even know who his family are. I literally get up drop my little one to day care, go to work, come home and on the days I don’t work I just sit here and do nothing, especially on days my little one entertains themselves. I’m so alone. I see a psychologist weekly and though that helps greatly with other things I’ve been going through it’s not a nice feeling knowing that I’ve only her to talk to. I just feel so invisible.

Dragonfly78 Making the same mistakes. Rebounding
  • replies: 3

Almost a year ago i left my husband of 10 years after a rollercoaster of a marriage. I never felt truly content or happy from the beginning. I feel like i just settled and stayed out of guilt and obligation. The worst part and the part im struggling ... View more

Almost a year ago i left my husband of 10 years after a rollercoaster of a marriage. I never felt truly content or happy from the beginning. I feel like i just settled and stayed out of guilt and obligation. The worst part and the part im struggling with most is guilt because i cheated. I lost interest in my husband and was lonely and needy so i reached out to others. I had 1 affair and several short term flings. I sent pics of myself to men and slept with several different men. I left my husband for another man and now a year later im unhappy again and now chatting to another guy. There is always a love triangle. What is wrong with me. Why cant i just be happy. And why am i so scared of being alone.

Gothmoth Friends excluding me because of disability???
  • replies: 2

I've been having a lot of troubles with my friends lately. They've been excluding me from things and ignoring me. My best friend has bpd and is using it as an excuse as why he's treating me bad (he's splitting on me so it's ok apparently), and now he... View more

I've been having a lot of troubles with my friends lately. They've been excluding me from things and ignoring me. My best friend has bpd and is using it as an excuse as why he's treating me bad (he's splitting on me so it's ok apparently), and now he's not inviting me to stuff when he invites all of our other friends. I'm physically disabled and I'm in a wheelchair like 90% of the time and this has never been a problem for my friends before but now they're constantly telling me they didn't invite me because of my disability, they even tried to tell me to stay home and not go to my birthday thing I organised because of it (they would still get to go apparently tho). I also have bpd and things like this really stress me out, especially because I'm in a situation where I'm stuck at home in bed most of the time and I'm not in a situation where I can make new friends. idk I just don't know if I'm overreacting about all this and whether it's ok for them to exclude me because of my wheelchair because I am a lot slower moving than them in it. I know they have the right to not interact with me if they don't want to but I'd prefer if they just told me to leave them alone instead of ignoring me and telling me it's my fault.

baker76 Feel like I dont want my marriage
  • replies: 1

Ive been married just over a year now and been together for 3 years.im struggling with my marriage and seem like I cant help myself.a few issues we have is his time at work alot of hours and not spending much time together we have a 5 month old baby.... View more

Ive been married just over a year now and been together for 3 years.im struggling with my marriage and seem like I cant help myself.a few issues we have is his time at work alot of hours and not spending much time together we have a 5 month old baby.his dying mum who I know wants his help but she does things on purpose just to get him to her house and his drinking is another problem.he doesnt drink as much as he used to but everytime we fight he goes on a bender and doesnt come home for hours and is drunk and spent our money .i really am struggling as to why even stay in a marriage. I know I get jealous when hes out drinking and I know I shouldnt be angry about his mum but she does things on purpose even our wedding day she admitted herself to hospital because we were away for our wedding. And to top it off he just lost his job

Trixs Mother in law
  • replies: 3

Hi everyone stressing ao bad its our xmas party next weekend and my mil works at the same company we just dont get along i havent seen her for 12 months No joke. I know my husband misses them and will want to sit with them but i cant do it i just can... View more

Hi everyone stressing ao bad its our xmas party next weekend and my mil works at the same company we just dont get along i havent seen her for 12 months No joke. I know my husband misses them and will want to sit with them but i cant do it i just cant sit with them. My anxiety is high and i just want to run away. Help what do i do. I really want to go to support hubby and normally its a really good night. I know other people but i know when i see her ahe will act normal and hug me. But i dont want that

JackM Worried about future relationships - issues resulting from DSP and the 'welfare trap'
  • replies: 3

I am worried about what kind of future relationships I will have. I am 40 years old and unmarried. I have PTSD and Clinical Depression (although the former is far worse). For years I have avoided going on the DSP even though I was likely eligible, an... View more

I am worried about what kind of future relationships I will have. I am 40 years old and unmarried. I have PTSD and Clinical Depression (although the former is far worse). For years I have avoided going on the DSP even though I was likely eligible, and I was somehow managing to live. In my current circumstances I have no choice but to apply for the DSP. I am concerned about this, however. How will I meet someone for marriage, or otherwise have a 'normal' life? If the person that I meet has a job, then my benefit will then pay zero and I am bringing nothing to the table at all. How do the other people here handle this? Alternatively, will I have to work out a situation in which my partner is my carer? Neither situation seems adequate. I have come to accept my condition, and have also come to accept that it is unlikely to improve in the long term (its already been 10 years). However I would like to live as normal a life as possible, and do the kinds of things that 'normal' people do. One of those things is get married and possibly have children (I don't have any genetic issue - the children will be healthy). But I don't see how I can do that. How does everyone else handle this?

hathi At a loss - husband suffering from depression and anxiety - no support
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, I will try to keep this as short and simple as possible, however please forgive me if I don't manage this too well as my issues are quite consuming and difficult for me to process. I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 7. ... View more

Hi everyone, I will try to keep this as short and simple as possible, however please forgive me if I don't manage this too well as my issues are quite consuming and difficult for me to process. I have been with my husband for 9 years, married for 7. We have one son and a second baby due any day now. This year in January, after years of ignoring his pain, he sought help and was diagnosed with depression and GAD. I have tried my best to support him whilst managing 95% of the household responsibilities as well as working full time just as he does. My struggle now is that it feels as though the relationship is very one-sided. I am expected to support him unconditionally and forgive/forget whenever I am in pain or when he has hurt me at the risk of overwhelming him. I am not a person who likes to internalise my emotions, but am being forced to because I feel bad for burdening him and he does not respond well when we 'talk', nor does it seem like he cares if I am feeling okay or not. He says that he cannot manage a lot of things (hasn't been for a long time) because the depression prevents him from being motivated, yet he is able to play video games, watch whatever show he wants, spend time on social media and manage organising things for himself but it's too hard to do anything for our family, me or the house in general. Please also bear in mind that whilst he was diagnosed this year, he has been a sufferer for much longer. He now is on medication and sees a Pyschologist, but has not stuck to most of her suggestions. I feel like he is taking me for granted and abusing our relationship because he thinks I will always be around. I am now at the point where I do not see that happening and have actively been looking at separation as the only solution. I am due to be a mother of 2 soon. I have felt like a single parent many a times and it is difficult to cope. I feel a lot of anger and resentment towards my husband now and whilst I acknowledge they are not healthy feelings, I can't help but feel them. I feel drained emotionally and physically and regularly have to fight him to get support for myself or what seems like just acknowledgement that I too am a person with feelings and emotions; someone who will also need support, particularly now as I'm a week shy of giving birth. How do I approach this? What do I do? He is difficult to talk with and doesn't engage when I try. I feel cornered and suffocated in this relationship.