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Friend acceptance

Nat11
Community Member
Hi I want to get some advice on what to do about a particular friend of mine that I am not sure if I am wasting my time. I’ve know this person about 2 years when I lived with her and I always find that I dnt ever know where I stand with her if she likes me or not because her personality is quite dominate compared to mine which is more passive. Throughout my time living with her I always found it hard to open up cause I felt like she might judge me and because I am insecure about myself sometimes I would close myself off.Last year I decided to move back home to my parents so that I could save a bit before moving in with my boyfriend. I’d thought we would catch up like we use to but we seem to not have but I’ve noticed that she keeps going out with our other roommate who has also moved out and doesn’t included me I’ve tried to tell her next time they catch up to include me but never made the effort and recently at her 30th we took some nice photos up but she purposely I feel left me out when she posted them on Facebook. Am I being paranoid or should I ask her straight out what the problem is and maybe tell her how I feel?
3 Replies 3

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Hi again Nat

Guilt has a role to play here. Automatically we the srnsitive turn the focus onto ourselves instead of looking at the ligic of the other person.

Google

Beyondblue Topic the labyrinth of friendships

Beyondblue Topic I'm tagged a nutter, what about them?

Essentially we hold others on a platform well above ourselves, when we dont consider they could be- not compatible with us, selfish, narcissistic, personal issues...I mean once I was keen on a girl and could understand why she held me at bay until I found out she was gay!

So, step outside your spinning mind on such occasions to consider-

"It might not be ME"!

I also think relaxation could be beneficial to you.

Google

Beyondblue Topic anxiety, how I eliminated it

Beyondblue Topic Maharaji he helped me for 25 years

TonyWK

TonyWK

Hi thank you did your response so are you automatically saying that I could be just paranoid if so what should I do to feel better about this friendship do you think I need to talk with her or do I look into whether it is worth keeping and letting it go

white knight
Community Champion
Community Champion

Ideally Nat, let it go but I want to acknowledge that it is easier said than done.

Moving onto new friendships is often better on yourself. Friendships can be complex or reasons they dont work out might not be us but could be them.

My motto is to keep meeting people and discarding ones on a regular basis that dont treat me as I treat them, but I try not to judge why because I'd tend to blame myself and that isnt fair to me.

TonyWK