Making the right decision
Firstly welcome to this friendly forum that is full of supportive and nonjudgmental people.
I can understand how you are felt that your marriage was lacking feeling and that a younger person showed you attention and seemed to care.
Are you still seeing the younger man?
Have you had counselling with your husband?
I think you realise it has to be your indecision and that no one else can make it.
24 years is a long time to be with someone so now wonder you are confused.
I left my marriage after 20 years but it had been on the rocks since the beginning. I felt guilty but for me it was the right move . I think as a parent whatever yo do you will feel guilty.
I feel we all want to be made to feel we are special and are paid attention.
Thanks again for your honest story. We are here to support you and you are not alone.
Hi Cassie - I'm so sorry to hear about what you are going through. I can only imagine how tight the spot you are in must feel, and I hope I can give you at least just a little bit of insight or advice in this scenario. Whether you take the advice or not is, of course, completely up to you.
In my opinion, another person being involved in the mix is a bad idea.
You need to be happy - for your children and for yourself; so if your partner no longer makes you happy, you have every right to break off the relationship. Focus your efforts on co-parenting and peaceful separation first. Put off any other guys, other people, other prospects - at least until the situation with your current partner is permanently resolved and healthy. That is all you owe to your children.
As the child of parents who separated after staying in a loveless marriage for too long - children ultimately do not care whether their parents are together or not. Children care if their parents are happy, healthy and getting along. Whether that is inside or outside of a relationship.
But leaving your partner specifically with another future partner in mind could be a recipe for disaster. If you leave your partner, it must be because you are done with him, not because someone else is more alluring. It's easy for someone else to be more alluring if they haven't been in a relationship for over a decade, after all. For all we know, they could end up the same way down the road... so focus on rouding off the relationship you have now first, and worry about the other guy much later.
That is something I wish my parents had done. Focus on co-parenting, focus on being able to get along reasonably well for the kids - give yourself 6 months to separate in a healthy, calm and peaceful way and to be on your own - THEN look at other potential partners.
That is just my opinion, of course, and your situation could have details that I don't now about or am completely missing. But I hope this gave you a new outside perspective to think about.