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Feeling trapped. Mentally exhausted. Cant get out of this relationship.

Community Member
Hi. I dont know what to do i have been trying to leave a toxic relationship for quite some time now as i cant take all the fighting and constant bickering. Im emotionally exhausted and have tried to let them know i cant do this any more , many of times. no matter how hard i try they end up turing it back on me and usually goes down in a fight when i try to block contact with them they always find a way through to me. Im always made to feel guilty and they use the i need you in my life right now you cant do this to me. Im constantly on edge about the person. Yet i need to start caring for myself and move on but they just wont let me . 😞
2 Replies 2

Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Milly jane, I'm sorry, but you are in a controlling and toxic r/ship, simply because your partner isn't going to accept that he is too weak to realise that he is not capable of explaining the truth to you, he is in denial, and will never realise that he maybe wrong.
To block any contact from him, he then finds something which he knows is a weak point within yourself, so that's when he utilises what he knows will be able to 'get into you', and once again tell you what to do.
He is making you feel that you need him, NO, you don't need him, and any r/ship like this with one controlling partner will never last, and there maybe some serious consequences if you stay with him, and that's certainly not we want, so now you don't tell him anything and organise a place you can go to, one he doesn't know about.
Change your sim card and only trust people you feel will be looking after your interests, and by saying that I mean people who will not be intimidated by him, in other words people you can trust.
Your safety is of prime concern and please you have to leave him.
Please I hope you can get back to us. Geoff.

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Milly jane,

Welcome to the forums and thanks for your post.

I'm concerned about how hard it's becoming for you to leave the relationship and agree that it seems like the best thing for you to do. What type of support do you have around you right now? Friends/family?

I feel like from reading your post it's important that you find some support so that you can leave the relationship safely and not be pulled back into it. Sometimes things can be a cycle - you want to leave - he pulls you back - you stay back - you want to leave etc.

Do you feel like safety is a concern in leaving this relationship? If you do I encourage you to get some help from the Police or by ringing 1800 RESPECT (for help with behaviours of domestic violence).

If you don't then what might be the easiest way for you to leave; is it having a conversation about how you feel and holding your ground? Is it packing a bag and not taking no for an answer? Is it changing your mobile number?

As Geoff said your safety is our prime concern so it might just be about planning the next steps so that you can end this cycle.