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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Gmqn I rang a sex line...now my marriage is on the rocks
  • replies: 4

Ive been laying awake since 2am searching the Internet for answers...1st time posting so bear with me. The title says it all,i have been married 8 year's been together 11 years have 2 beautiful daughter's which are my world.A couple weeks ago we were... View more

Ive been laying awake since 2am searching the Internet for answers...1st time posting so bear with me. The title says it all,i have been married 8 year's been together 11 years have 2 beautiful daughter's which are my world.A couple weeks ago we were having drinks at home with mates the night ended we came to bed things got frisky but my wife got sick(from to much alcohol and a tummy bug) so im laying there horny and drunk i decided to watch some porn,next thing a come accross sex chatline number for some stupid reason i ring it and hang up as soon as the "operator" picks up,i continue to porn but thats not enough and ring the number again for about 5min.I feel so bad next day and try tell my wife but i can't so like a loaded shot gun i leave it for her to find out when we get the bill at the end of the month.Her response is our marriage over and wants out she said its the same as sleeping with someone else,she is really hurt and her heart is broken...a couple days pass we dont really talk and she messages me this "thinking as much as I love you I dont see how we can work.Right now I can't stand to even look at you and dont even want you touching me Im so disgusted.Im so heart broken all i think of is some women talking dirty to you while you wank yourself.I dont want a broken family but I do deserve to be happy.I dont want to take the girls away from you but I dont want to live up here.So I want you to actually think about me for a change and tell me what must I do?" We live in a rural mining town which she hates,she has been sleeping in the spare room since(1 week),also during all this she told me she doesn't find sex pleasurable anymore we thought her low sex drive was the IUD but after taking it out 9months ago it hasn't come back anyway thats another story. So I've spoken to a counselor over the phone and we booked in to see her next week.My wife said she will try that before she leaves but doesn't see how we going to work.She also said if we didn't have children she would have left me.Ive told her I'm sorry and I want to make things better Im broken the thought of divorce my life without her I don't know how I can go on...Today's fathers day so im going to put on my happy face for my kids and enjoy the day. Its 6am im going to try get some sleep any help will do. Thanks

JR333 Fiance wants to leave
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I am new here and need help. My fiancé and I have been together for 7 years, since we were teenagers in high school. We moved out of home together to a completely new town 3 years ago, we worked hard for everything together and were heading f... View more

Hi all, I am new here and need help. My fiancé and I have been together for 7 years, since we were teenagers in high school. We moved out of home together to a completely new town 3 years ago, we worked hard for everything together and were heading for both of our dreams. We always told each other we wanted to marry and have kids. My partner had a very hard childhood, she was severely sick for 2 years which led to the breakdown of her family, her dad suffering from borderline personality, attempting suicide twice, her sister also attempting suicide, her mother caused her nothing but hurt and pain. My family became her family, and have done more for her in the past seven years, than her family has ever done for her. My fiancé was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 6 months ago. She started medication and speaking to a counsellor - for a couple of sessions and then stopped. In hindsight, I didn't take it as seriously as I should have because I didn't understand what it was. A couple months passed, my partner seemed to be getting better. She seemed happier and we were getting along very well. We had a few bumps along the way but that's normal. Until 4 weeks ago, there was a minor disagreement and I pushed her a bit too hard - which I now know was not the right thing to do. But that was it, she told me she doesn't know what she wants anymore, she’s not in love with me, she doesn't want kids or to get married and that we are on different paths now. She's sick of having to worry about how I feel and that she only wants to worry and care about herself. She wanted a break, so she went back to our hometown for a week and after some back and forth, she decided that if i am willing to fight so hard, maybe she isn't making the right decision. So over the past 3 weeks, I took more control, she started on new medication, she has just started to go to a new psychologist. I have done everything for her to be supportive and get her better. But last night, she tells we’re done, that she is sick of trying, it's over, she’s not in love anymore and that we are on different paths now. I am so hurt by this as I know it's not what my 'real' fiancé would want and feel as if it is the depression talking. Nothing I say gets through to her, she has made up her mind. I'm not sure what to do, has anyone else gone through this and have any advice. I love her way too much to let it be thrown all away just because of this sickness. I feel like it doesn't have to be this way... Thanks

MMari Seeking support and advice for a desperate mother who's son is facing jail time - new to this so a bit nervous as to how much to say
  • replies: 1

Hi. I'm new to this. I'm seeking support and encouragement from mother's and families who are facing or have been in the same situation as myself. My son 23, is facing jail time this month and I'm beyond desperation. I don't sleep, I cry all the time... View more

Hi. I'm new to this. I'm seeking support and encouragement from mother's and families who are facing or have been in the same situation as myself. My son 23, is facing jail time this month and I'm beyond desperation. I don't sleep, I cry all the time, afraid of losing my job and just two weeks ago my son was placed under suicide watch as he's made several attempts on his life and has made further attempts in the last 12 months leading up to his sentencing. He'll be sentenced a very long way to where I live which will make it even harder for me to visit if the case be that he gets sent to prison. It is his first time offences (that which I cannot discuss), and I'm just so desperate, lonely and heartbroken. I'm afraid of what will happen to him with other prisoners as he's not strong at all. Please help. Desperate mum. :(:(

Dale25 So sad and hurt
  • replies: 1

Hi there,i wanted to share my story as I am so so sad and lonely.i was happily married with 2 children.abiut 18 months ago I had an affair with someone younger and fell in love.i left my wife and kids and moved in with my new partner.we were so in lo... View more

Hi there,i wanted to share my story as I am so so sad and lonely.i was happily married with 2 children.abiut 18 months ago I had an affair with someone younger and fell in love.i left my wife and kids and moved in with my new partner.we were so in love and had amazing times.things were going well however the guilt of leaving my wife and kids was overwhelming.about 20 weeks ago I had dinner with my x wife.my new partner totally list it and moved out.our relationship went from so happy to anger and became so nasty.i ve tried for 10 weeks to apologise and ask for forgiveness.dhe had now disappeared and I sm unable to contCt her or find her.i have been to the doctor several times who prescribed anti depressants which I have not taken.ive tried several counselling sessions, even ended up in hospital one night.i drink a lot.I have never felt so hurt and list in my life.i cry everyday.My x wife has been so kind and trying to help me through.it feels like I'll never be happy again and I'm never going to see my partner again.i live get so much but she's gone.im finding it so hard to move firward.i feel so hurt that I left my family to be with my new partner and now she's left me.

Martii Relationship ended out of nowhere and now I feel like a shell of myself
  • replies: 6

Hey everyone, I have not been sure where to turn to with this and just utterly hopeless in what to do. 6 months ago my life was very different - I was living with my boyfriend who I saw a bright and happy future with; naively I thought we would get e... View more

Hey everyone, I have not been sure where to turn to with this and just utterly hopeless in what to do. 6 months ago my life was very different - I was living with my boyfriend who I saw a bright and happy future with; naively I thought we would get engaged - we'd been together for 2 and a half years and basically we thought we'd be together forever until he blindsided me by breaking up with me. I moved out and was a wreck, until he called me and begged for me to come back, so I did. Until he did it again a month later, saying he never wanted to get married, or buy a house, and he wasn't in love with me anymore. I have never felt so betrayed in my life because he never spoke to me about any of this, he never showed any signs or anything that this was coming - there was no demise of the relationship, he just literally walked in the door one day and ended it. My life did a 180 and at 27 I found myself broke, unemployed, and living back at my dads house. I have never felt so low in my life. I threw myself into doing all I could to move forward with my life, I found a job and threw myself into it, started working literally every day, started dating, catching up with all of my friends. I thought I was fine and then suddenly one day it wasn't, and now I feel stuck. I find myself crying every day, struggling to get out of bed. I have no passion for anything anymore, I have no motivation to do anything, and I feel worthless and hopeless - I don't see myself eve being happy again, and I just don't know how to get to that place where I can be. All of my friends are getting engaged and married and are living their lives, and I feel like it just makes me feel worse because I thought that was going to be me soon and it isn't - I want to be happy for them but I can't when I feel like my life has turned to absolute rubbish and I don't know why it has or what I did to deserve it. Essentially I feel like everyone is living, and I am just merely 'existing'. I feel like a zombie walking through life, or that I am in another universe to where all these other people are - there is some kind of invisible barrier between me and everyone else. I feel like the shell of the person I used to be; I feel so lost. Just not really sure what to do anymore and am looking for some kind of advice or insight.

NerNerNer Low self esteem collision (Vent)
  • replies: 10

Hi all, long time no post. I'm just venting about this, not looking for advice or a solution because I've got to figure it out/work directly with my counselor. However that appointment is over a week away, so venting is required. Last night I lost my... View more

Hi all, long time no post. I'm just venting about this, not looking for advice or a solution because I've got to figure it out/work directly with my counselor. However that appointment is over a week away, so venting is required. Last night I lost my temper with my low self esteem housemate over something arbitrary. A back and forth 'I'm right, you're wrong' over ham packaging. It wasn't even MY back and forth, I was doing a job application and listening to it carry on. It was because the low self esteem housemate was, understandably, annoyed that our housemate had mistakenly eaten said ham. Other housemate had bought more, but low self esteem housemate decided that the packaging couldn't possibly be the same format she preferred and, without looking at it, got very snippy and resentful and rejected the offer. After a few minutes of listening to my low self esteem housemate trying to prove herself right when the other housemate was, indeed, factually correct I intervened. I have low self esteem myself and the low self esteem housemate has argued with me like this on several occasions on several topics and I can't stand it when she does it to me. The freaking lengths she goes to try to prove me wrong are just incredible, and when she ends up being proven wrong (often indirectly) more often than not, she sulks and won't look me in the face for days. Listening to her do it to someone else was infuriating. I don't need to be right, but listening to someone who was correct being told they were wrong just cooked my bacon. So, I raised a 'joke' about a manufacturing error with the ham packaging in question so the correct housemate had an excuse to show off the packing and, in sharing the funny error, got to prove who was right and who was wrong. It was one of those packs that have the ham split up into two servings and the manufacturing machine had packed the entire lot into one compartment. The other compartment was sealed but only had a couple of tiny scraps in it. It was seriously 'tee hee lol' when we noticed it, but it certainly wasn't appreciated by the low self esteem housemate. Gawd, what is wrong with me... I didn't need to intervene. Who cares who was right and who was wrong. Now I'm worried that there is going to be more awkwardness and competition. Gaaah.

Troubledmatt I'm ruining my marriage
  • replies: 4

Despite how hard I try, my efforts to remedy my depression are tearing my family apart. I just spent 15 minutes with my wife crying on the laundry floor about how hard I have been to deal with over the past few years. I can't deny this. And that's th... View more

Despite how hard I try, my efforts to remedy my depression are tearing my family apart. I just spent 15 minutes with my wife crying on the laundry floor about how hard I have been to deal with over the past few years. I can't deny this. And that's the kicker. Even though I know I am the problem I still haven't the foggiest how to fix it. I'm seeing a professional but I feel as though I am getting nowhere with it. I'm a disengaged husband and father to a beautiful 18 month old and as I type this I have traps rolling down my face and no idea why his is the case because I would move heaven and earth for them but the one thing I haven't been able to do is make or keep them happy. I honestly feel like a failure and hate that father's day is soon because I believe I don't deserve any praise or affirmation about being a father. It kills me when. I'm crabby, irretable and can't take feed back from my wife. I wear a mask in front of others to keep up appearances which I feel makes things worse when I find anany opportunity to skulk away from the crowd and be away from "it" all. I'm not on here for a poor me response. I'm here to see if this avenue can provide me with that something I'm missing to be the father and husband I want to be.

Molly06 I'm scared my marriage is ending and it's my fault
  • replies: 19

I am not sure where to start except to say I have not felt this sad in a long long time. my husband and I have been married 12 years, we were engaged after 7 months and married 6 months after that. We had trouble falling pregnant and went through 5 r... View more

I am not sure where to start except to say I have not felt this sad in a long long time. my husband and I have been married 12 years, we were engaged after 7 months and married 6 months after that. We had trouble falling pregnant and went through 5 rounds of IVF. We fell pregnant with twins and then at 32 weeks found out that one of our twins had died. They were both born 4 days later. as a result of this I suffered extreme anxiety and depression and went into hospital for 7 weeks for it. My husband was my rock. 2 years later we fell naturally pregnant but had complications and I was put in hospital on complete bed rest from 26 weeks and my child was born at 32 weeks. We moved towns and built a lovely home together and while I have missed close friends I have loved our life together. My husband has always spoilt me, told me how much he loves me and been a wonderful support but I lost my sex drive. We are lucky to have sex once a month and often that's just because I feel bad. Not only have I lost my sex drive but I just don't kiss him for no reason , we do cuddle on the lounge every night which I love and we went away in November last year without the kids and had a great week and sex drive had returned. It's not that I want sex with anyone else I just don't seem to want any. monday night he said that he is tired trying to live in this platonic relationship. We talked about it last night and he said that he isn't about to walk out and that the marriage isn't over but he looks resigned as if it is over and he said he doesn't know what to do to fix it. i suggested some kind of counseling but he can't see how that can help my sex drive. i am so so sad, I don't want to be with anyone else and I can't imagine my life without him in it and I am so scared what it might do to our kids especially my daughter who has started suffering anxiety. i don't feel I can talk to any friends or family about it and I can't talk to him about it ( well I have) but he doesn't have answers. He is the one I go to when I have problems and now he and I are the problem. i just don't know what to do. sorry for the very long post

Aimee_billie Lost marriage and now Losing the love of my life
  • replies: 2

Hi all I separated from my husband and father of my two boys last year. I fell out of love and knew something was missing in my life - most likely self love, but at the time I felt like I needed an emotional connection from him that he wasn't able to... View more

Hi all I separated from my husband and father of my two boys last year. I fell out of love and knew something was missing in my life - most likely self love, but at the time I felt like I needed an emotional connection from him that he wasn't able to give me. Since then I have been seeing a new man. He is amazing. Loves me more than i could imagine a man could. My kids have met him and love him to bits. however early on we had a few bumps around trust which sent me anxiety sky rocketing and I crashed hard. I went to my GP after I started cutting (I am 30!) and was diagnosed with depression and anxiety - although I think I have had it for most kd my life as I've always had a terrible self image. I've had a rough battle with my ex and he has gotten a girl pregnant so now I'm dealing with how to handle that wth my kids. I also had a hard time changing medication and things for bad with my new partner and I and we broke up. But got back together shortly after. problem is now I push him away constantly. One day I am feeling the happiest I have in years... Just hours later something so small happens and I just have a melt down. I break it off, but he fights for me. My anxieties and Insecurities take over and I feel I'd be better off alone and he'd be better off without me. i don't know what to do. Do I fight for him. Do I be alone. Take the time. Fix me. Somehow?!? Or can he be in that journey wth me?

Jorja_ Well meaning family members... Ahhhh.
  • replies: 2

I don't meant to be ungrateful, but does it bother anyone else when their family tells you to just push yourself, just stick it out, don't accept the way you are, don't accept this is all you can be... I really don't mean to be grateful, I know that ... View more

I don't meant to be ungrateful, but does it bother anyone else when their family tells you to just push yourself, just stick it out, don't accept the way you are, don't accept this is all you can be... I really don't mean to be grateful, I know that others have the other side of the spectrum in terms of family members. But it just frustrates me when I try to explain that I know what to do. It isn't a matter of not knowing where the key is, it's a matter of willpower to walk over to it. For me at least, that's kind of what it's like. All I wanted to hear was to focus on my accomplishments and not be discouraged by the bumps in the road. But the focus was all around the bumps on the road, and why I shouldn't do it again. As if I don't know. Argh, just ranting here.