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I'm the bad guy?
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It's not so
Being in a family of 7 would mean that the eldest siblings may not have much communication with you only because the age difference means that they are doing things far ahead of what you would even consider.
It's not uncommon for someone who has stopped drinking to start once again when they are suffering badly with depression, it's a way for them to release themselves, and this is what has happened with you, but it's only a bandaid, as it won't help you in the long run.
Unfortunately there isn't much that can be done for your mum, as there's no cure for dementia just yet, but what you have to do is get the help that you need for your depression by seeing your doctor, and at the moment I wouldn't ring your sister just yet, and I say this because you're not strong enough to discuss any issue with them, it can wait, because you have to try and get better. Geoff. x
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Dear 4Cats~
Thanks for posting, I can understand a lot of how you feel. I used to be in a frame of mind where the world was too hard, getting things better just abut impossible, directionless, confused, weighed down.
I guess if I was you I'd try -as Geoff said - to get myself in a better place first before dealing with family. Please go to your GP, set out all that's happened, including your thoughts, and ask to be tested for depression and anxiety.
I found I needed to do two things, firstly book a long appointment, and secondly write everything down first - at my leisure with plenty of time, so I got it all. I never was very good at giving a clear account in the consultation.
You may end up with treatment, a health plan, a psychologist, meds, therapy and self-help.
You may know this already, but depression takes over the thought processes, and things you say and believe are not necessarily so, they are the depression talking.
Have a look in The Facts menu above about causes, symptoms, treatments.
People can find it just about impossible to deal with a parent having dementia. To see the person you love disappear and a lesser stranger which whom you have no bonds take over the parent's body can be devastating.
Deal with it all when you are strong, focused and in a better position.
Please post again, you will receive care and understanding
Croix