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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Cpp Love can't overcome all!
  • replies: 18

Hi All, Im new to this and not the best at written communication. Also my issue has been occurring for about 30yrs. Hence not sure where to begin! Im a mother of three still married to a man who has a controlling jealous mother who has and will never... View more

Hi All, Im new to this and not the best at written communication. Also my issue has been occurring for about 30yrs. Hence not sure where to begin! Im a mother of three still married to a man who has a controlling jealous mother who has and will never approve of me. I'm currently waiting on psychological support. When I was young I thought love would Overcome all. WRONG!! I know now that there cannot be a middle ground between this kind of woman and a son who needs her approval. Hence I've ended up anxious not functioning at family events yes all of them I loose it cry before going and begging not to go begin to hyperventilate and when I'm there my communication is hopeless consisting of only hello goodbye and I don't know as anything I say is manipulated and miss construed. So the running joke is. Oh here comes I don't know! She has emotionally, verbally abused me and has over stepped the mark in privacy issues too many times to mention. Today is a really bad day as I had a flash back of a horrible episode when I was young with my first born in the first week of giving birth to him. She didn't ask to come over and used the key my husband gave her to let herself in. Refused to leave when asked to, it was the worst time she caught me coming out of the shower. I had mastitis at this time and she proceeded to grope me telling me I had to massage them yes my breast. I was mortified and froze and so only resort I could think of was I got dressed hurriedly picked up my child and left my home not returning till my husband came home and she left. I remember waiting in the car across the road for her car to leave. This became a routine I would get up at 7 each morning dress the kids and leave the house I would either spend the whole day in shopping centres friends houses and mums house. Only in the last 4 years have I had repreave as I asked my husband to change the locks and I changed my number and he told them that they are not to call me and come over without being invited. Because I had a severe melt down! I'm a wreck now. I'm worried because I sometimes resent him for not choosing me and putting me in these situations or is it my fault not being stronger I did ask her to stop on several occasions I also tried to ask her to get along for my husband and her response I remember it clearly. " he may be your husband but he will always be my son" I walked away I wasn't prepared to be rude. Maybe I should have ended the marriage a long time ago?

InTheHereAndNow The good in relationships
  • replies: 8

This may seem like a negetive post I know but I promise it isn't. I really want to hear the honestly happy stories, and how you met. I am hoping to get from a female perspective that there is still good in men. Every relationship I witness around me ... View more

This may seem like a negetive post I know but I promise it isn't. I really want to hear the honestly happy stories, and how you met. I am hoping to get from a female perspective that there is still good in men. Every relationship I witness around me is either abusive emotionally or physically or simply soul sucking. Even after my mum left my abusive dad and I thought her new partner was heaven sent, he has turned out to be no better but in a different way. Girlfriends around me have given up so much and let their partners dictate essentially their way in life and it is like they cant see it. "But I love him "... but why isn't he doing the same for you? Relationships should be mostly equal. I am 37, soon to be 38 and have been single for 90% of the last decade. I suspect I have learnt to assume the worst from people, especially men, without really realising it until just now. So please, give me some faith!

Miss_DoingItAlone Feeling Alone
  • replies: 3

Hi all, This is my first time on the forums but really needed somewhere to let it out if that makes sense? I have 2 children and am currently pregnant and my 8yr relationship ended last Friday very messily with there being domestic violence. I spent ... View more

Hi all, This is my first time on the forums but really needed somewhere to let it out if that makes sense? I have 2 children and am currently pregnant and my 8yr relationship ended last Friday very messily with there being domestic violence. I spent all day yesterday in court and thought today would be easier but in fact it's been worse! I am having flashbacks of what happened and then remembering all the good times, I went to have a coffee with my mother today and I started to panic and cry and needed to leave the cafe. I went to my gp to ask for a referral to see a counsellor but she refused and said I'd get over it but it feels like it's so intense and it's such an effort to do anything I'm sad all the time. I am so ashamed to admit but I am struggling with feelings of excitement for this pregnancy Thank you for reading/listening.

HamSolo01 forever alone
  • replies: 3

title says it all this will be me for life... I'm 23 and feel like it'll be this way forever

title says it all this will be me for life... I'm 23 and feel like it'll be this way forever

rational_thinker Horrendous Parenting
  • replies: 11

Hi there, This is really important for me to say and vent but I am 28 and my parents have been an absolute and total disaster. They were loving but so ignorant it is beyond belief. They were uneducated and illiterate people from a poor country and ha... View more

Hi there, This is really important for me to say and vent but I am 28 and my parents have been an absolute and total disaster. They were loving but so ignorant it is beyond belief. They were uneducated and illiterate people from a poor country and had no idea what the hell they were doing. Because they didn't have skills they ran a tobacco shop. When I was little I had birthmarks on my face and this led to me being picked on and abused by kids, as a disfigured migrant child I was then sent to one of those all boys Catholic schools- this was really difficult and traumatic for me. Did my parents realise that these kinds of issues would severely impact their only child's development and psychological make up? No! They were totally clueless! They used our home as a storehouse for tobacco and cigarettes. I grew up all alone, without siblings, without even cousins, in a house full of cigarettes. Not once did they ever warn me about the dangers of smoking or drugs- they fundamentally didn't understand or were incapable of this basic parental duty to protect and educate the child. What is the biggest farce is that they expected me to be high achieving and successful. But I had to grow up learning every bit of important information for myself- it was like walking across a minefield without a map. Nobody really taught me about STIs either, not my university and my sexually experienced parents didn't think it was important to tell their young son that there is a killer virus you can catch and you should be very careful. I am not saying that is all their fault on that one, but I've taken some risks and am scared stiff from the prospect of getting HIV. But sometimes I wonder maybe I should just be gone, or have never been born. When you are that incompetent/ignorant- you simply shouldn't have children.

b46 I don't know what to do.
  • replies: 8

My boyfriend left me 5 nights ago. We had plans to move in soon and to stay together. Things were not perfect but I had completely convinced myself that we were doing good and were going to last. I took a full time job only weeks ago so that we would... View more

My boyfriend left me 5 nights ago. We had plans to move in soon and to stay together. Things were not perfect but I had completely convinced myself that we were doing good and were going to last. I took a full time job only weeks ago so that we would have some rental security. My whole body has not stopped aching. My mind won't stop replaying every single moment we spent together. All the good moments and all the bad ones too. Every single situation that I reacted badly to. Every "I love you". Every mistake I made. Everything I could have done or said better. I have lost interest in everything. I can't listen to music. I can't eat. I have barely slept. I thought I had finally figured my life out and that I had a secure future. Now I don't even feel like I have a future. He has been hanging out with me because he doesn't want me to do "anything stupid". I feel like since I isolated myself from people in general when we started dating that I have no one. I feel like I seeing him helps me feel normal even if its just for a few hours. But then the reality hits me again and again and again and it hurts more and more. Does anyone have advice for when you don't feel like going on anymore?

Luke89 Feel inadequate to the opposite sex
  • replies: 1

Hi, not sure whether i have hit the right thread but some similar stories on here so think Im close. Reason for my post, looking for some other peoples and girls perspective here if possible. I am 28, electrician and current uni student, super fit an... View more

Hi, not sure whether i have hit the right thread but some similar stories on here so think Im close. Reason for my post, looking for some other peoples and girls perspective here if possible. I am 28, electrician and current uni student, super fit and healthy, have always had a good job, bought a house 3 years ago and have always been into sport and now competitive marathon running. Personality wise, consider myself incredibly driven, genuine, honest, friendly and approachable, all good traits i think. Problem i have is i never seem to generate any interest from girls. I know i have a lot going for me, have a great group of friends both male and female, so i know i dont have any social skill issues here. My self esteem about myself i think is pretty good but when it comes to girls i feel totally inadequate, My 2 housemates pick up girls no worries, where as i just don't. I'm certainly no worse looking than them or have any less going for me. I have been on numerous dates in the last year but none seem interested at all after the first or second date. Ive never been the desperate, needy type, as i am quite picky, so i am confident i don't come off like this, just feeling like im never going to meet anyone. This has always been the feeling ive had (except for 1 long term girlfriend in the past) and as i get older im questioning this more and more and wondering whether there is actually something wrong with me, or do i just not put myself out there enough when i see a girl that catches my eye? Any help/advice would be great, cheers guys

Rae_Rae A little bit lost
  • replies: 2

Hi, I've only just signed up so please forgive me if I do this wrong. I don't ever post things on the internet but I feel I'm left with no option. I'm writing this because I'm not sure what else I can do. I've seen doctors and specialists, physiologi... View more

Hi, I've only just signed up so please forgive me if I do this wrong. I don't ever post things on the internet but I feel I'm left with no option. I'm writing this because I'm not sure what else I can do. I've seen doctors and specialists, physiologists and psychiatrists. I'm a very very happy person. I enjoy hard work and a challenge. I have an 8 month old son who is happy and health. A husband who is great. At the end of the day I just cry and cry. There is an overwhelming sense of despair I can't shake. I've have had severe metal issues in the past but I have never felt like this. it's killing us as a family and my relationship with my partner? What can I do?

Ant71 I s it Lack of sex that's bringing me down
  • replies: 1

Hi like a few of the posts on here I have a marriage that has a low sex drive. We have been together for 29 years and when we do make love it is still great but it is not as frequent as either of us would like. We cannot get our libidos to line up I ... View more

Hi like a few of the posts on here I have a marriage that has a low sex drive. We have been together for 29 years and when we do make love it is still great but it is not as frequent as either of us would like. We cannot get our libidos to line up I love my wife very much still and I know she love me to. I do shift work and I find it turns out that she will be in the mood and I fall asleep not knowing only to find out the next day that she is frustrated. Other times I will be all over her only to find out the moment is gone. This can end up going on for months and ends up with us both pulling our hair out. We have tried some things to help but things just don't seem to work out. We have tried to schedule it but we both hate that way to organised and not in the moment. Neither of us are into the date night thing again to organised. We have done the sexting thing and that worked for a while but now we find that by time we go to bed the moment is gone. I have got to the point where it is affecting my moods and I find myself more depressed than normal. I guess I wanted to know if anyone else has had something like this and what they found worked. I would particularly be interested to find out if any of the ladies have any suggestions as a woman's perspective would be great thanks