Ex-partner is abusing my trauma to keep me out of our child’s life.

[Unholy_Idiot]

So for a little bit of context, I had a mental episode where I’ve disassociated and hurt my at the time partner. Immediately afterwards she had me arrested and a DVO was put in place. Since hen I’ve been doing everything I can to get some sort of diagnosis and to try and make things right between myself, her and the few witnesses that were there, admittedly I pushed too hard but didn’t breach the DVO.
But she seems to be taking advantage of this and is now constantly threatening to report me to the police. It seems to me that she’s wanted to end the relationship for a long time coming but the way she’s going about keeping us seperate is affecting both my ability to see my daughter and my sense of self.

Ive spent damn near every day of the last 5 years of my life with this woman and she’s not only tossed me like a piece of rubbish, but she’s doing everything to try and burn my bridges to the world.
Shes gone on such an offensive track that for a brief period just about every friend of mine turned on me and she’s had HER friends abuse me online.

at this point I just wanna get my stuff outta the house and set up mandatory visitation rights but I’m that afraid of the legal system that any time I look into legal advice I can feel myself disconnect momentarily.

i just want to see my baby girl again.

[Unholy_Idiot]

It’s just challenging for me to accept generalised anxiety disorder as the “correct” diagnosis. It might be imposter syndrome at play but I can’t help but think my anxiety isn’t THAT bad. I think it’s the “generalised” in the name of it. I feel like I experience the same amount of stress as everyone but I don’t think it’s worth an official label. Yet it seems significant enough that doctors and the law even deem it a disorder.

i think I just have so little respect for myself that I don’t think I deserve any sort of resolution.

[white knight]

We are not defined by our illness. 

Eg some people might have professor, Dr, OAM etc. Gee, I'd have TonyWK bipolar, dysthymia, depression, a little anxiety, under the spectrum... 

So something to remember- my estimates are 70% of humans don't have a MI, 20% do but are in denial, 5% do but are not in denial and are medicated and 5% have a MI but cannot function in society including some in jails.

Being hung up on the word generalised is, well, imo not helping you. I'd rather focus on the big picture. That is- it's common for sufferers to under estimate the extent of their condition. Even small levels of anxiety can grow out of hand to lead to much more serious conditions. At the end of the day, our GP's and medical experts know much more than us.

TonyWK 

[Guest_10253]

Its important to seek stability. For some this is medication, for others its a support network, for others its religion. 

It's too often dismissed as irrelevant, superstitious and for old people. For the more intelligent types (far more intelligent than most) they explain its a psychological path to stability, actually a riddle that penetrates into your subconscious, about aligning yourself with truth in thought and action and that dreams have meaning (particularly informing you dynamics of your close relationships you are unaware of consciously). Jung, Peterson I would recommend on YT. 

This is where you would learn about the archetype of the father, the benevolent masculine, recognising your shadow (aggressive) side, carrying your cross, humble servant. Whatever resonances with a higher value you.

What you get through with a spiritual strength is a greater purpose that offsets the madness of the conscious-heavy materialistic world. Madness you are going to come up again time and time again in the justice system, children as leverage, groupthink human behaviour, in how your reputation is manipulated. 

But then there are always temporary reliefs, we all know they tend to make things worse. GP, friend network, and cultivating a greater purpose that demands a better you. 

[Unholy_Idiot]

Thank you for your input. 😄

I appreciate your perspective relating to finding religion, I've had some experience with religion and the various practices so I can comfortably say I've got a good spiritual compass.

I don't exactly comply with any singular religions values but I can take value in the lessons they all teach.

After reflecting on my initial points, I've definitely concluded my issues are related to my upbringing, including my approach to religion, persecution, prejudice, accountability. 

But your message serves as a valuable reminder so thank you again for responding.