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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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SizzleW Is it emotional abuse?
  • replies: 2

I have been married for 13 years. Over the last 2 years I feel like I have been emotionally abused. He likes to talk about my past (i was a wild child, experimented as a teen etc..) he did not in his teens. He likes to talk about my past sexual histo... View more

I have been married for 13 years. Over the last 2 years I feel like I have been emotionally abused. He likes to talk about my past (i was a wild child, experimented as a teen etc..) he did not in his teens. He likes to talk about my past sexual history (i feel as though we have been married for so long what does it matter?) We have a healthy and fulfilling sex life. He likes to make snide remarks about my past, he likes to hold it against me, he thinks he's not good enough even though I've expressed multiple times that he is. Today was kind of the last straw for me - he had a terrible dream about me and I have to deal with the consequences of that dream. Is this emotional abuse?

user123 My son loves it his dad's house more
  • replies: 4

Hi all, we are in a (to a degree) amicable coparenting situation however my son's stepmom (she is 22YO we are 36YO) - we both share 50% of the custody.My son (6) doesn't stop talking about how amazing they are and how much he loves it over there. It ... View more

Hi all, we are in a (to a degree) amicable coparenting situation however my son's stepmom (she is 22YO we are 36YO) - we both share 50% of the custody.My son (6) doesn't stop talking about how amazing they are and how much he loves it over there. It a bit of Disneyland over there with the whole family involved, lots of sleepovers, he goes away for work a lot so he goes to babysitters. Where over here, my family is overseas, we are always there, every day is the same. His new partner is desperately obsess with him to the point when his dad is away for a whole week she will still claim his week. I am trying to be supportive and be happy for him when he talks about them and how much he misses them and let it go over my head but it builds up inside of me, it makes me sad and I already have a lot of anxiety naturally. He can be very emotional, he is very frustrated with the situation always being between the two households, he says when he is here he misses them and when he is there he misses us.Lots of emotional outburst, even for not finding his second sock in the morning, but its all underlying due to the situation. It causes a lot of tension. We are planning a holiday because its been a full on year - all we want to do is relax but I feel like we will have to deal with a lot of meltdowns. Should I be selfish for one time and go without him and focus on us, however I won't help to feel guilty as little one (9m) will be coming. My second son with my current partner. Anyone in similar situation please? I would like to bounce ideas with someone who's in the same boat!!!

Courtesky88 Ex-Partner has depression
  • replies: 3

Hi Everyone... I was looking for some advice on my current situation. I was with my partner for 7yrs and we have 1 child (4yrs). In Nov 2023, we broke up due to a plethora of things, but the main one being the intimacy wasn't there and we neglected e... View more

Hi Everyone... I was looking for some advice on my current situation. I was with my partner for 7yrs and we have 1 child (4yrs). In Nov 2023, we broke up due to a plethora of things, but the main one being the intimacy wasn't there and we neglected each other since the birth of our child. He moved out in Jan 24. Since the break-up, my ex has discovered that he has depression and is currently seeking help. We are still super close, and on have been on a couple of dates and been intimate since the break up. We regularly tell each other that we miss an still love each other. However, I have done some soul searching and have realised that he is the only one I want to spend my life with....I love him dearly and would love to try and make this work. I have not voiced this too him due to his mental health, I don't want to add anymore pressure on him at this time. He has expressed not in a direct way that he would like to make things work, but I'm a little confused. When we see each other on the weekends, he is super affectionate, happy and like his normal self, yet, when it hits Sunday night and all throughout the week he goes MIA. I only hear from him if it's in regards to our son, and his messages are blunt and have zero emotion to them. I'm beginning to become really confused as to what the situation is and also feel a little used when we are acting like gf/bf on the weekends and everything is fine, to being treated like I don't exist during the week. He says that all he does is work, come home and sleep as he has predominately 'bad days' during the week. I guess my question is, no matter what, I would like to be there for him, but also with the hopes of re-connecting and trying again in the future. How do I approach him? Should I be messaging and checking in during the week even if I get ignored? Am I annoying him? Should I just leave him alone during the week and just enjoy the time we spend on weekends? Do I cut everything off and let him deal with whatever he needs to and if he comes back then great? I have never been in this situation before. It's hurting me deeply. Any advice would be great! Thank you for reading.

Novocastrian My friends don't reach out to me, ever. When I reach out, they're willing to catch up, be friendly and all that. Why don't any of my friends want me?
  • replies: 11

I'm an emotional guy (26M), which most interpret as needy or just plain weird, but I know that I need close relationships to survive. I've been dealing with depression since I was 14 and suicidal thoughts since I was 16, and the only thing that got m... View more

I'm an emotional guy (26M), which most interpret as needy or just plain weird, but I know that I need close relationships to survive. I've been dealing with depression since I was 14 and suicidal thoughts since I was 16, and the only thing that got me through the suicide attempts was decent counselling and close friends. Most of my friends have moved away and don't even have the initiative to call or text to catch up, but when I miss them enough to reach out (every month or so), they're readily available to play online games together and catch up. Why don't any of my friends take initiative to reach out to me? Being the only one to organise events makes me feel abandoned and that they're only tolerating my calls/texts/gaming catchup sessions out of obligation, or that I'm some sort of charity case to them. How do I live with this?

Guest_01435911 First ever breakup 18
  • replies: 1

Hi, my boyfriend just broke after me over 2 years over text saying how I made him feel miserable for a long time and turned him tho a shell of a person and loving him isn’t enough anymore then told me not to call or message him. I had to quit my job ... View more

Hi, my boyfriend just broke after me over 2 years over text saying how I made him feel miserable for a long time and turned him tho a shell of a person and loving him isn’t enough anymore then told me not to call or message him. I had to quit my job because his mum was the manager and it’s just to hard working with him there. I really loved this guy and I’m really going to miss him. I feel like I have lost a warmth inside of me. I feel like I am unlovable and will be alone forever. Someone help.

Guest_89602191 Help
  • replies: 2

Hi, I recently moved country. I have no real friends, family or anyone that checks up on me. I’m really lonely and think of how lonely I am everyday walking home from work. I live with my dad his partner and her children but get the feeling they don’... View more

Hi, I recently moved country. I have no real friends, family or anyone that checks up on me. I’m really lonely and think of how lonely I am everyday walking home from work. I live with my dad his partner and her children but get the feeling they don’t really like me anymore. When I try to converse it’s either one worded replies, me starting the conversation or they go into their rooms. They talk amongst themselves but it’s different when I’m there. It was good when I first came but now it’s progressively getting worse. I am saving to move out and rent my own place but I know I’m not financially stable. I know it’s silly I shouldn’t be thinking like this but nobody checks up on me, nobody asks how I am and I always make sure to ask them. I’m so drained from it all. I feel like everyone hates me and I try so hard with them all like buying things or food or bringing one of the children out for the day for the company and to also get them out. I just don’t know what to do because I care so much for them but I know and see they don’t me. It’s killing me inside. I know I shouldn’t be complaining as I’m in a beautiful country but I feel so lonely in a house full of people.

Breezy77 ODD and Conduct disorder
  • replies: 3

Hi, Im new to these forums so i hope i make sense i want to share my story Im a mum who suffers anxiety and depression and am currently very frustrated and heartbroken. I have 4 kids 3 boys and 1 girl oldest boy is 12 and 11 year old twins they suffe... View more

Hi, Im new to these forums so i hope i make sense i want to share my story Im a mum who suffers anxiety and depression and am currently very frustrated and heartbroken. I have 4 kids 3 boys and 1 girl oldest boy is 12 and 11 year old twins they suffer with alot of behavioural problems. I was in a violent relationship with the father of my daughter he tormented us all for 3 years my boys picked up on alot of his behaviour when i left him and moved to another my boys went out of control started punching holes in my walls, climbing on my roof, swearing at me, spitting and running away. Nobody could help the school anyone as they dont listen to anyone. So i decided it was time to send them to there dads me and my daughter moved to victoria i needed a fresh start and try and get back into a routine and strong enough again to take the boys back in march this year there dad didnt want to care for them anymore so sent them down here. I thought that it would be easier and was a lot stronger to set rules and boundaries for them i was wrong they refused to listen and broke every rule. Even though i have had happy times with them and love them dearly the last 6 months has been hell for me after about a month of living with me they started running away, wagging school, smoking, having really bad pysical fights with eachother they i couldnt break up, they have hit me, spat on me called me all the worst names my oldest son got got that bad at running away and causing trouble, stealing smashing peoples property the police were constantly bringing him home, child protection finally got involved and removed him from care as i wasnt keeping him safe when he was roaming the street he was placed in a resi unit but his behaviours contined so today they removed and placed him in secure welfare in melbourne i have been blaming myself and googling conduct disorder and odd my anxiety is killing me i feel like i have failed him and want to get him all the help he needs. I feel lome everybody social workers and family support workers have just put him in the to hard basket and closed our case i need help but dont know where to get it. If any parents have any advice on yhis i would much appreciate it as i feel like im going crazy and i have to stay strong

Becca I’m verbally abusive and I can’t stop
  • replies: 5

In 2020 my husband left me for another woman. I was 3 weeks postpartum with our 3rd child. 6months ago he came back and we decided to try again. I made him aware that there needed to be changes and he promised me the world. little did I know that I w... View more

In 2020 my husband left me for another woman. I was 3 weeks postpartum with our 3rd child. 6months ago he came back and we decided to try again. I made him aware that there needed to be changes and he promised me the world. little did I know that I was just being sucked back into a world of pain. Nothing has changed, his cold, unaffectionate, we are still no more a priority in his life than we were before. I’ve tried talking, yelling, crying and now I’m just so so angry that most of our communication is me being verbally horrible. Mostly through text because his never really around. I hate the person I’ve become. I’m so nasty and so so hurtful with my words. I call him all sorts of names and put him down pretty much daily. why am I doing this. He tells me he can’t talk to me or progress to give me what I need because all I do is abuse him and he can’t handle it so he switches of. please be kind, there is no one harder on me than I am myself.i just can’t stop resentment towards him.

Heartbroken24 Boyfriend ghosted me
  • replies: 4

Last May, I started talking to a guy and we hit it off straight away. He had been stood up by girls before and had in his words, “major trust issues”. Communication was on and off for months and it took a long time to meet up as he was scared. We fin... View more

Last May, I started talking to a guy and we hit it off straight away. He had been stood up by girls before and had in his words, “major trust issues”. Communication was on and off for months and it took a long time to meet up as he was scared. We finally met 3 months ago and it was amazing. He told me I was everything he imagined and more. We got along so well, texted for two weeks after and became even closer. Then one day, he just didn’t reply to my text. There was a pattern the whole time I’ve known him. We would speak sometimes a few days up to a few weeks before he’d shut down again for months. From everything I’ve learnt and things he’s said here and there over the last almost year, it sounds like he has depression, which makes him shut down. I tried everything to talk to him, including going to his house last night (I messaged him that I was on the way and that I’d turn around if he wanted me to). When I got there, he wouldn’t even come to the door and messaged me to go away. I told him I’m sorry, I just don’t understand what happened and that I love him. Then I left and cried the whole way home. I’m heartbroken because I’ve never felt this way about anyone. And when we were talking, I’d never felt so happy. I’m just stuck in this limbo of depression and loneliness and I don’t know what to do with my life. No matter what I do, it doesn’t fix or distract me from how I feel. I’m in so much pain every single day. I know I can’t help him, but I never expected this to happen and I just feel so lost. Please don’t give me platitudes as it doesn’t help.

Happycamper Advice managing relationship with partner's family.
  • replies: 5

My partner and I have been together for 5 years now, commited, stable and living together, both planning for our future. We come from different cultures and languages and he is living here in mine so we're closer to my family. Thankfully we speak eac... View more

My partner and I have been together for 5 years now, commited, stable and living together, both planning for our future. We come from different cultures and languages and he is living here in mine so we're closer to my family. Thankfully we speak each other's languages (he a lot better than me). We went to visit his family in their country in year 3 of our relationship which was fantastic. I met most of the family and they are wonderful people, however, I felt uncomfortable much of the time around his mum and grandmother. This stems from cultural differences and language barrier. They are very religious, and use a lot of this vocabulary and talk in a way that is really difficult for me to understand in a second language and communicate very differently to my family. We went on a long road trip together, and his mum would regularly say things I couldn't understand and my partner just wouldn't respond (I've spoken to him about this and he's said that's just his relationship with her) so I would feel obligated to try and engage but really struggled to. When at his family home, he spent much time going through his old things, leaving me with his mum and grandma and I struggled to communicate (this didn't happen with other family members we stayed with). It caused some arguments between us on this trip as I felt like I was trying to make a good impression but he never picked up when I was struggling with the language (through looks when I didn't understand or even just saying I was struggling) and it began to make me feel exhausted, straining so hard to understand all the time. Furthermore, I couldn't have a day to myself to have a mental break and see the sites as his mum lived in a gated community far from everything. Since this trip, I've felt my relationship with his mum to be strained. Whilst we mostly communicated through my partner in the past, she always used to wish me happy birthday and merry christmas and hasn't done so since the trip and I worry that I've made a bad impression. My partner is an amazing person but when it comes to understanding about needing more language support around his family, I'm often met with 'it's in my head, my language skills are great', or that I need to adapt to his family dynamic with how they talk/don't talk. Whilst these things are true I feel I still need help to get there if I want to have a good relationship with his family (important for both of us) and don't know what to do or if his mum doesn't like me now. Help