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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Guest_76191066 Lost myself loving someone who cant live without me
  • replies: 2

title. 24/mgoing to be a bit long winded need to get all of this outpeople seem to come to me when they have problems, depression especially. ive helped close friends come out of their "holes" unhealthy, over weight, isolating themselves. I felt like... View more

title. 24/mgoing to be a bit long winded need to get all of this outpeople seem to come to me when they have problems, depression especially. ive helped close friends come out of their "holes" unhealthy, over weight, isolating themselves. I felt like i had the key to happiness, like it was simple. small steps every day to feel better. listen to the birds, appreciate the suns warmth.I met a girl. its been 2 years and we live together. she has diagnosed issues and I try and have tried everything i know how to help her. it feels like nothing i do is enough help her be happy. I love her. but i dont think i can be with her. its seeping into me and im losing myself my friends my hobbies my love for life. and she says she cant live without me. I cant get over how i would be making a choice to leave a choice to be selfish and give up. it would destroy her. ive tried to get her back to therapy and ive tried every trick to get her up and out the house to hear the birds and feel the sun. she needs help and i thought it could be me to save her. i try to be who she needs, working for our future but i get the same resistance to positivity. im failing what i thought was my lifes purpose. to help someone. im lost

Guest_78532480 Lying
  • replies: 2

I’ve had problems with addiction since I was probably 16, I got clean off of a certain anxiety medication about a year ago and I’m super proud of myself, but that’s not where the addiction stops, I have problems with vaping, I’ve tried to stop and I ... View more

I’ve had problems with addiction since I was probably 16, I got clean off of a certain anxiety medication about a year ago and I’m super proud of myself, but that’s not where the addiction stops, I have problems with vaping, I’ve tried to stop and I just can’t I’ve tired Nicolette chewies, I’ve tried cold turkey. it’s now effecting my relationship with my girlfriend because I’m lying about it, idk why I keep lying but I do, she’s caught me with vapes on multiple occasions where I’ve said I don’t have one, idk what to do to help save my relationship and to help me quit them, it’s effecting my mental health as well as hers

Guest_67869874 Life after abortion
  • replies: 2

Hi, I had an abortion 6 months ago. I found out I was pregnant late one night and was quite happy. I told my partner but he wasn’t as keen and said he wasn’t ready. We discussed our options but ultimately settled for an abortion (I suffer from anxiet... View more

Hi, I had an abortion 6 months ago. I found out I was pregnant late one night and was quite happy. I told my partner but he wasn’t as keen and said he wasn’t ready. We discussed our options but ultimately settled for an abortion (I suffer from anxiety and have c/hood trauma). The next two weeks were the worst of my life. I agreed to an abortion but I didn’t want it. I spent days crying and throwing up until I ended up in hospital from dehydration (3 times) I felt so helpless in the hospital. Due to my anxiety I couldn’t stop vomiting after the abortion either. I ended up back at the hospital after the abortion and felt so ashamed and embarrassed, like the whole world was looking down on me. I tried to go back to work but I couldn’t keep it together, every pregnant woman every child, I cry. I lost my job. Tried to exercise exclusively to distract myself and wore myself out. I stopped exercising about two months ago and now I feel lost, I’ve gained weight which only makes me feel worse. I last about a week between hysterical breakdowns about the abortion (I didn’t want to have an abortion, it’s destroyed me emotionally) I don’t have any friends so all I do is think about it. I want to be able to get past this but I feel like I’m frozen in time. The worlds so fast paced I feel like I’m drowning.

naralle I'm struggling
  • replies: 2

I'm not coping at all with my husband drinking and he needs help. He knows he's an alcoholic but won't get help.

I'm not coping at all with my husband drinking and he needs help. He knows he's an alcoholic but won't get help.

Yearnineteen Dick brother
  • replies: 4

Hey, Im not super close with my brother so while my parents were on holiday i thought id invite them over. I said come over what ever day at whatever time (despite my very busy uni schedule) he could chose lunch. My boyfriend stayed up all night maki... View more

Hey, Im not super close with my brother so while my parents were on holiday i thought id invite them over. I said come over what ever day at whatever time (despite my very busy uni schedule) he could chose lunch. My boyfriend stayed up all night making a brisket to impress him and spent over $200, only for him and his family on the day to say there coming late because his son needs a nap… i asked if he could nap here and he says there not coming because hes got his own family now, its too painful to see me and he doesn’t need me. A I was obviously really upset. Hes now coming over tonight and i dont want too see him unless he apologizes but my parents screamed at me and said i have to and he wont apologize. My mum started crying (playing the victim as usal) and said she will never do anything for me again, then my dad claims im threatening her? And says hes going to slap the shit out of me so i slap him first and he says hes going to call the police 💀 Anyways what the hell do i do, i dont have anywhere to stay and cant afford to move out.

Guest_44363348 Ex husband keeps texting me
  • replies: 1

Help! I was married to my ex husband for 15 years and being separated for 9 years in November.. due to a toxic relationship.. we are not divorced but separated The last 9 months he has being suffering from pstd and keeps saying he wants to harm himse... View more

Help! I was married to my ex husband for 15 years and being separated for 9 years in November.. due to a toxic relationship.. we are not divorced but separated The last 9 months he has being suffering from pstd and keeps saying he wants to harm himself.. he just doesn't text me he texts our adult daughters too, and sends my eldest daughter into meltdowns (she has Asperger's) I am feeling stressed out about the whole situation, and have raised my concerns to my GP about my ex, he advised me to call the police or ambulance for a welfare check.. This has happened when I was living with him as well, he goes into mind games and stirs up alot of things .. I feel like he is trying to blame me for the way he is feeling.. Help please ..

Tinam Our son was charged with murder
  • replies: 13

Does anyone know of any support groups for parents with criminal children? We can't get ourselves out of this depressed state of bewilderment and need to talk to other parents coping with same issues. Our son was 18 yrs old when he was charged.

Does anyone know of any support groups for parents with criminal children? We can't get ourselves out of this depressed state of bewilderment and need to talk to other parents coping with same issues. Our son was 18 yrs old when he was charged.

Jannaku Hurt by Close Friend
  • replies: 3

I have a close friend who has been part of my family for over 40 years and is like a sister to me. We’ve travelled alongside each other through the highs and lows of life and are now nearing retirement age. Life circumstances (deaths & separation) fi... View more

I have a close friend who has been part of my family for over 40 years and is like a sister to me. We’ve travelled alongside each other through the highs and lows of life and are now nearing retirement age. Life circumstances (deaths & separation) finds us both single with no close family as such, although I have two adult children who have mental health disabilities that are highly dependent on me. We recently spoke about the idea of living together in our future retirement for financial and social reasons following the death of her hubby and my separation and all was good. We began excitedly discussing and planning things but hit an impasse when she stated that she would not want one of my children to live with us because of their “toxic” behaviour (she never had children and is the godmother of mine). I stated that this was unacceptable because I could never ban any child from living with me so we started exploring the idea of a dual living arrangement were we could still have independence. Due to many factors, including recent deaths in my family and finances, the idea was temporarily put on the back burner. As far as I was concerned there was no urgency as this was something for the future when she retires from the workforce in 3-5 years. Unbeknown to me she changed her mind about our plans and subsequently made a huge life decision to sell her home and buy into a retirement lifestyle village in another state. She did all of this without mentioning it to me until it was a done deal. Although I can understand her motives (financial & lifestyle), I can’t help but feel really disappointed that she didn’t consider me at all, knowing that my future plans included her. I have no other person of significance left in my life other than her, so losing her is a huge blow that really hurts. Her decision has completely changed the plans and outlook I had for my future. I’ve gone from having a financially feasible plan, with companionship and something to look forward to, to having uncertainty and loneliness. It changes everything and I’ve gone from having optimism to now feeling extremely depressed. This has also come hot on the heels of losing the only two other significant people I had in my life (aunt in Oct 23 and mother in Nov 23). I’m struggling and questioning whether I still want to even remain friends with her because at the end of the day she clearly doesn’t have the connection with me that I thought she did and her complete lack of consideration is making me view her through a different lens. I highly valued our friendship and was so grateful that I had someone akin to a sister in my life, but that’s all gone now and I feel betrayed. Am I right to feel the way I do? Do I continue with the friendship or just accept that its over?

David35 How to deal with brothers narcissist wife
  • replies: 2

Several years ago my mum got cancer and has now since got through it. In that time my brothers wife no longer talks to us. Last boxing day she couldn't be bothered turning up to our house. She has literally cut off all communication with mum and I. S... View more

Several years ago my mum got cancer and has now since got through it. In that time my brothers wife no longer talks to us. Last boxing day she couldn't be bothered turning up to our house. She has literally cut off all communication with mum and I. She was once a loving, caring person but for the life of me, are at a loss. We think 2 things occurred. 1) she realised mum was not willing to pay off my brothers mortgage 2) mum got sick. Either way, mum is a grandmother in name only. In her own words "My brothers wife stole everything that meant something to me, and he let it happen ". She has repeatedly asked my brother what is going on. He's too gutless to be honest with her. The last time we saw her was over a year ago where she pretended to care about mum in front of the kids, but won't speak to her anymore. We both feel used, manipulated. Once mum stopped being so financially generous to them, around the same time mum got cancer because she was so hurt by their lack of concern for her, the LOve tap literally turned off. It's almost as if they have blackmailed us with the love of the kids. We either pay up, or we don't see the kids, knowing full we'll it would crush mum. We'll it has.today was spent arguing with mum about stupid things. It all got back to " Why has she done this? I couldnt help getting cancer". It's almost as if we provide no benefit to them anymore, so they don't want to know us. Any insight would be much appreciated. She's contemplated changing her will.

Lach I broke my girlfriends heart, how do I make it up to her and deal with my actions
  • replies: 1

I broke my Girlfriends heart and trust. Through lying to her about watching porn, multiply times. I really do love this girl, I made so many wrong choices thinking it was okay everyone does it. I cause her so much damage to her mental health. I feel ... View more

I broke my Girlfriends heart and trust. Through lying to her about watching porn, multiply times. I really do love this girl, I made so many wrong choices thinking it was okay everyone does it. I cause her so much damage to her mental health. I feel so horrible about what I’ve done to her. Seeing the hurt ache I was causing her really change my whole view on porn, I haven’t look at it since. I realise how terrible it is on a person and a relationship. All I want to do is make it up to her but I don’t how to or think I can. It’s changed the way she looks and thinks about me. She’s so broken because of me. I hate myself for doing that to her. I feel so worthless. I want to show her I’ve change, I’m not like that. What do I do for her? The guilt and the shame of my action are destroying me. I don’t know what to do. I miss what we had before I wrecked everything. I miss her. I want to be better for her but I think it’s too late. I lost this amazing person. She would have done anything for me, all I did in return was destroy her heart. I made her hate me.