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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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Tonyh Stepchild giving me anxiety (please help)
  • replies: 12

So I have an adult stepdaughter who is 20 and living with us, everyday I come home from work I find plates and mess left around the kitchen. I am forever asking her nicely to clean up after herself only to be met with attitude and anger. I keep telli... View more

So I have an adult stepdaughter who is 20 and living with us, everyday I come home from work I find plates and mess left around the kitchen. I am forever asking her nicely to clean up after herself only to be met with attitude and anger. I keep telling the missus and she says well ask to to clean it and I try to explain that its not getting anywhere and can she talk to her. The problem is im not sure anything is getting said as it still keeps happening. Lately she has been parking behind my car in my driveway purposely blocking me in even though I left her space to park beside me. The comments and attitude im getting is almost making life not worth living there. If it weren't for my 9 year old daughter I'd move out as I am at my boiling point with this crap cause i just wanna have some peace in my life but there is always something that pisses her off and the whole house has to know it apparently. What's really frustrating is that my partner is always being nice about everything with her which makes me feel like she is nurturing her attitude and giving her the idea that she can keep doin it. What the hell am I supposed to do? My lil girl is always coming up to me asking if im ok as she can clearly see this is affecting me. Anyway any advice would be very helpful now because I feel like im supposed to just live with this crap. Thanks for your time

Scared Just been dumped again
  • replies: 1

8 years ago I met girl in Thailand who just dumped me this morning.In fact shes ended it many times since my return to Aus. This girl is unique in that she is child like in her ways and I always suspected maybe some form of Autism. I took her under m... View more

8 years ago I met girl in Thailand who just dumped me this morning.In fact shes ended it many times since my return to Aus. This girl is unique in that she is child like in her ways and I always suspected maybe some form of Autism. I took her under my wing so to speak and for years helped her out. She became almost like a daughter to me ( she is 38 ) im 61. I spent couple years living in Thai but returned because of lack of money. But when i was homeless some years back this person gave me purpose to live when all around me was cold and bleak . Now i have depression again and I lost the only sunlight i was getting and that was our daily phone calls. I dont know if she will call me again or if this is one of her weekly mood changes. The point is im too afraid to be left in my bleak depression alone. I know all the sayings let people go if you love them but i cant help being selfish and need her more than she needs me. My only goal i had was to get well get job and go visit her . Without that goal i have nothing. Im sick of depression robbing my life and robbing my ability to fight on. My life my housing my outlook is so bleak im too afraid to really look at it because im scared of going insane. I seem to have put up a blocker and i think my brain is trying to protect me from that reality

Guest_03767423 Not happy been marriage for 35 years
  • replies: 1

I really enjoy my husband company and we get on well together. We have a small business and he is semi retired now. Which means he is home more. I work with him and I can’t do anything right - he speaks to me trebly. I had a car accident the day he h... View more

I really enjoy my husband company and we get on well together. We have a small business and he is semi retired now. Which means he is home more. I work with him and I can’t do anything right - he speaks to me trebly. I had a car accident the day he had another go at me and I blamed him. This argument was on my mind - thinking how am I going to fix his temper - attitude. Talk so many times. Especially because we have a small Business and it is not that easy to leave him. Which I have been thinking. I am always on egg shells. I don’t have an option on any topics. He spits it and blows up and gets cranky. He either walks away. Doesn’t like to talk - orPuts every thing back on me.last fight I told him I want out.he went to doctors - who said he might have bipolar. Talk medicines.? Now he want me to Show himmore affection and kiss him more. Which I can’t because we never have been. I don’t want to come home and deal with this. what I am asking is I need helpi keep talking and it’s not going anywhere ?

Blu Why am I always chasing attention from other females when I’m in a relationship
  • replies: 3

2 previous relationships and I find myself chatting and messaging other females or looking in dating sites. have never slept with anyone apart from my partner in relationships but seems like I need the attention from something missing from childhood

2 previous relationships and I find myself chatting and messaging other females or looking in dating sites. have never slept with anyone apart from my partner in relationships but seems like I need the attention from something missing from childhood

loyal Please Help! I told my best friend her husband was cheating
  • replies: 3

I told my best friend that her husband had cheated on her (erotic massage parlours/escorts). Her husband denied it and blames me now for making things worse for them. He wants nothing to do with me and has told me to never speak to his wife again. Th... View more

I told my best friend that her husband had cheated on her (erotic massage parlours/escorts). Her husband denied it and blames me now for making things worse for them. He wants nothing to do with me and has told me to never speak to his wife again. They were having problems to begin with and he was blaming her. It was hurting me so much having to keep this from her...I spoke to him first and gave him the chance to confess and he denied it...he spoke about their problems and said they were all her fault. I was so angry that I told her the truth. Yes i have now compromised a friendship between my husband and his best friend and now I am to blame! My husband supports me, however, he also knows the truth and told me I should not have interfered. I am not regretful for what I did, my friends husband has made it quite clear in text that I am at fault now. How do I move on from this....

Guest_01884801 Husband addicted to porn - need advice
  • replies: 2

I recently found out that my husband is addicted to porn. I am so upset. I have been crying and feeling depressed and now insecure about my body. I have spoken to him about the porn. He said he will stop but I don't believe him at all. I also don't w... View more

I recently found out that my husband is addicted to porn. I am so upset. I have been crying and feeling depressed and now insecure about my body. I have spoken to him about the porn. He said he will stop but I don't believe him at all. I also don't want to control him and now just want to divorce him. He is trying hard to keep us together but I don't believe he will ever stop and I don't want that kind of relationship. I don't know what to do. I really don't think counselling will work either for us because I don't believe he sees it as a problem and will really stop.

Von is lost Single and lonely
  • replies: 6

Recently I’ve been feeling very upset about how long I’ve been single, and the fact that I turn 27 next month and have only ever had one boyfriend that didn’t last very long and a long string of failed attempts at dating (almost all of them involved ... View more

Recently I’ve been feeling very upset about how long I’ve been single, and the fact that I turn 27 next month and have only ever had one boyfriend that didn’t last very long and a long string of failed attempts at dating (almost all of them involved me being rejected). I have a good friend who is 20 and she’s been with her boyfriend for a while now and I’m very envious of their relationship. She posted some photos of them from a camping trip they went on recently and found myself crying about how I wish I had someone to do things with. I’m just so frustrated that I can’t find a relationship like theirs and I don’t know what else to try. It’s hard to stay positive about it all.

Balvason2 I want to matter
  • replies: 1

This is prob a stupid thing to write, but I wish that I mattered. My wife works part time at a retail store and I spend hours listening to her work and the struggles she has. I work from home mostly so, I collect our son from the bus, get him ready f... View more

This is prob a stupid thing to write, but I wish that I mattered. My wife works part time at a retail store and I spend hours listening to her work and the struggles she has. I work from home mostly so, I collect our son from the bus, get him ready for school do the homework and work a full day from home. But no matter what I've achieved during the day, there is always a comment about an improvement or something i could do better. She doesn't kiss me now, She doesn't even let me finish my sentences. The only time she does what i suggest is because she's grumpy and wants to be able to yell at me later and blame being hungry. I'm tired of feeling defensive every time we talk. I don't want to be angry, I don't want her to be angry with me. I read the sticky post and have taken a breath. I just feel undervalued. But if i say that apparently I'm calling her horrible. Obviously, you are only getting my side of the story, and I'm sure there might be things that I'm doing that legitimately annoys her, but we can never get to it because we are always defensive of the other... sorry I know its a blurt.

ElleCee Broken and hurt - my husband has cheated on me for the second time in a sordid and hurtful way
  • replies: 3

My husband and I have been married 30 years and it has been a good marriage for the most part. I married my best friend and still today he is my person. We’ve had some bad times but I thought we had the same relationship goals. in 2009 during a parti... View more

My husband and I have been married 30 years and it has been a good marriage for the most part. I married my best friend and still today he is my person. We’ve had some bad times but I thought we had the same relationship goals. in 2009 during a particularly sexy and fun time for us he disclosed he had been having an affair with a coworker for over 4 years. He wanted to end but didn’t know how to stay away from her. When he did end it she got viscous and made false allegations to the police - causing me to be investigated- twice. But she didn’t get the outcome she wanted. He stayed with me but not without a lot of work with counselling talking and being honest with our needs. It was a totally confronting when I found out they had been having unprotected sex and he transmitted genital herpes to me - condition I now have to monitor forever. But we got through and entered a lovely stage of our joined lives raising our three kids, travelling and enjoying financial security. When the last of our kids left home I thought it would be like a honeymoon but it is not the case. He is partially retired while I still work full time due to the differences in our ages. He is silent withdrawn and not “present” at hen I get home. He has a lot of personal freedom to spend time on his hobbies and sports but on the weekends he doesn’t make any plans which include me. for the last 2 years I have tried so many times to get his attention. I have had Botox in case he thought I was getting too old, I have taken medication in case he thought I was putting on menopausal weight, I have purchased new bras and knickers but he still did want to have sex with me. In 2 years we have had sex 3 times. I thought he might be struggling with ED. I found out 3 weeks ago he has been going to a massage parlour since the end of Covid. He has been going on average 2 times a month, sometimes more, sometimes twice a week. He has been with over 60 women paying them to do sexual acts with some of these women younger than our daughter. The length of time he has been going, the money he has spent, the criminality of these acts and the disgusting betrayal of my trust is eating away at me. I can’t work, sleep, eat. All the time I was trying my hardest to get him to want me. I don’t know what to do. We have just sold our house and it is supposed to be a brand new chapter in a brand new place with a brand new us!!! I am broken hurt betrayed and I can’t stop the images of him and those many many other women

Scared The game of love
  • replies: 24

I dont want to offer anybody advice on dating rather than my own thoughts and beliefs to a question put to me on why should this particular person make some changes to appearance and attitude for the relationships they want.When I offered some advice... View more

I dont want to offer anybody advice on dating rather than my own thoughts and beliefs to a question put to me on why should this particular person make some changes to appearance and attitude for the relationships they want.When I offered some advice I was answered back by " why should I make any changes and why cant someone take me as I am "This is a valid point and I agree fully.If this was about wrong or right then I agree wholeheartedly.But unfortuneatly the laws of attraction are not based on wrong or right but based upon whats working or not working for you. You can go on all day about your good enough so why is this person still not been able to find someone to share their life with.I mean he has already told me he is good enough has the confidence to not need to change anything so then if he is so right then why cant he find some one. Why I have a analogy to share about wrong or right and it maybe too cryptic but I do my best as I never had problems attracting the opp sex.It goes like thisI loved fishing when I was growing up. At a certain time of year after rain these big fish would come out briefly at daybreak for 20 mins only.The problem with these fish they would only eat a certain fillet of fish and it had to be fresh.So i had to go to the pier the night before to catch these small fish and keep the fillets fresh in fridge.I tried all the other convenient frozen baits but no it had to be freshly caught fish if you had a chance to catch these monsters. The law of attraction for these fish was effort.I could argue all day with these fish how my frozen prawn is good enough and how much easier it would be for me to be reasonable but no they wernt buying that cop out.I could argue they are wrong not taking bait and how right i am giving them good enough fish bait.So I learnt its not about wrong or right its about " what works"So to my friend I said you can hold on to being right not to make changes or you can start doing what works.Just had to write that for some reason. I learnt to change if I wanted success and took responsibility for the things I wanted to attract and that meant in this case the long walk to the pier the night before. The fished showed me their law and followed it