Hi, welcome
As community Champions and knowledgeable members we commonly offer advice from our own lived experience. In cases like yours that can be limited. I have a quasi law background and have had 2 children that, long ago, I had them every second weekend etc. So I hope I can help.
I think you have "done the right thing" if you can provide any court/judge/official evidence of your sons injuries eg photos, medical reports. interviews with officials like child protection. With any legal matter evidence is King. This is because so many individuals out there make accusations with a plan- to rid the other parent from their kids lives. It would not be sufficient for example to say your son had marks on him so I wont allow any more visits. A breach of a court direction can put you in hot water.
The law can be an ass as they say. Eg text messages could be of value eg if he admitted he struck his son and so on. However any text that you feel is "unhinged , insane or illiterate" could be your interpretation of abuse whereas a court might not see it that way. He can also claim you are mentally unstable as well because it is an opinion and unless it is a serious threat (like threat to kill or burn your house down)police wont see it as anything to pursue. So there is a definite line to draw on what is acceptable within the law and what is not.
Remember, the court sees him as an equal parent no less nor more as a parent than yourself. So to breach any visitation rights by not allowing your sons to visit him can be a serious violation. However I've had first hand experience watching event play out with my 12yo niece whereby she chose to leave her mothers home and live with her priests family. When I made enquiries the police said "well at 12yo we cant make them live where they dont want to live". That was when my mother and I were prepared to offer her one of 2 homes.
So essential it can get murky and therefore confusing depending on age and many other factors. This is why legal avenues through a family solicitor is essential to protect yourself against breaching family court orders and thats the best advice I can give you. Gather all the evidence you can muster and obtain an appointment so you dont become the spotlight of any legal breach and subsequent charges.
With your 10yo son you said " He also kicked out our 10 year old son out last Monday, and asked me to have him longer." By how I read that "have him longer" means he still wants him in his life. Perhaps he needs to review his methods of discipline on them both and proper communication with yourself (reason). So I can only suggest that when he texts you dont be afraid to ask questions to get clarity but keep your cool, he seems to have communication problems hence the extra questions eg "why did he get smacked, did he do anything wrong" or "have you considered other ways to discipline him at all". But tact is an art so I'd add something like this "have you considered other ways to discipline him at all because I know in the past you've sent him to his room and that worked didnt it?". Regardless of how you view him its always better to add some nice remarks so your many years ahead communicating will be amicable for both of you. eg ""why did he get smacked, I know in the past you've been so good at guiding him and not need to slap him and as you know I really prefer you didnt use that form of discipline"
TonyWK
