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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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SleeplessinSA Teen son left blames me for everything
  • replies: 4

My nearly 18yo son, whilst we were travelling, just left with his dad. A letter, saying he needs to go. His dad and I separated just after he was born, due to being physically abused by his dad before he was born. I left few weeks after. It's been a ... View more

My nearly 18yo son, whilst we were travelling, just left with his dad. A letter, saying he needs to go. His dad and I separated just after he was born, due to being physically abused by his dad before he was born. I left few weeks after. It's been a rollercoaster ride of abuse verbal, stalking, trying to run me over, putting sand in my fuel tank...etc etc When my son was 14, he came to me and said he didn't want to see his dad. His dad took him to a party and wouldn't leave, so told him to sit in the car whilst he partied. Hours went by and his dad drove home drunk with him in the car. His dad previously lost his licence for life for drink driving and was on drugs. I took him to a physiologist to talk about what was happening and his feelings. She stated in family court, that my son see his dad if he chooses. Which family court ordered. Now 4 years down the track, the last two years being hard as I got really sick and he looked after me. He now blames me for not seeing his dad. For home schooling him, even though at the time it was what we wanted and enjoyed doing up until the last year. For not letting him have a normal childhood, he feels he missed out. This all, feels like it's coming out of his dad's mouth, not his. He says his been pretending to be happy, that he always did what I wanted. Even though I always made a point of saying we make decisions together..we are a team. He says, he doesn't like where his life is going with me. So choose to contact his dad and leave. I feel so heart broken, sad, angry because I did my best, miss him so much. Lost. Broken. I have goals and dreams I try to focus on, but my heart won't let me move on. He doesn't talk to me. His dad always said, I will take him away from you...he has done his promise. Part of me wants to contact my son and the other part says give it time, he will see how his dad is again. Just hard, I don't know how to move forward. I have no family. My friends have their own issues. Trying to stay positive..

RichoC Desperate and at the end
  • replies: 1

Hello,Well, this is unexciting and miserable.My wife has started a pretend we're separated routine with me.Won't sleep next to me, makes excuses why. All of which can be managed and fixed.It feels like she wants to end it all with me because of my fa... View more

Hello,Well, this is unexciting and miserable.My wife has started a pretend we're separated routine with me.Won't sleep next to me, makes excuses why. All of which can be managed and fixed.It feels like she wants to end it all with me because of my failed behaviour.Apparently, I have ADHD, anxiety and I mouth off, which is terrible for her.Breaks my heart.I'm doing everything I know and have been taught to be calm and quiet now.But still avoids me so badly.This hurts me a lot.I keep asking if she wants to end it.She won't because she knows how much she'll lose.It just kills me.I'm going to see someone about my mental health asap and do whatever they say.Begging her to come back to me and work on us.All seems hopeless.I'm on the edge of breaking, lost my job last week through no fault of my own, just bad people doing bad things, illegally.I can't keep this up.I've begged her to try more and be with me and she'll see it's ok.Anyway at my wits end

Anon6 Have I made a mistake ending my relationship?
  • replies: 2

I very recently chose to end my relationship of 6 months with my partner both in our mid 20’s.i had been feeling like I was very distanced and every little thing was starting to give me the ick.some key things im wanting to find someone who has the s... View more

I very recently chose to end my relationship of 6 months with my partner both in our mid 20’s.i had been feeling like I was very distanced and every little thing was starting to give me the ick.some key things im wanting to find someone who has the same life goals as me such as big travel plans and family plans. I told him these were some of my main concerns and he assured me he does want kids although has seemed okay with the idea of not having kids or seeming like he would be very strict and not allow them to be fussy which I don’t agree with completely.he also barely spends time with me and I have wanted to spend every moment together but held back so he didn’t find me pushy but barely twice a week for only a few hours is not enough for me I like quality time.he seemed upset and annoyed at himself as I think I’ve been the safest relationship he has had and told me not to feel guilty and he doesn’t hate me and seemed like he wanted to work on it but I said I had checked out of the relationship due to lots of my needs not being met.im now questioning if I was too impulsive and should have given him more time to work on these things although lots have been discussed over our relationship and I didn’t want to get stuck unhappy like my last one for 3 years which ended 4”3 years ago also

Goblin Addiction to pornography ruining my life
  • replies: 1

This is my first post here but I'm desperate for some help. I have been addicted to porn for the longest time and it's really affecting me to the point where it is ruining my relationship with my partner. I have been constantly lying to her about my ... View more

This is my first post here but I'm desperate for some help. I have been addicted to porn for the longest time and it's really affecting me to the point where it is ruining my relationship with my partner. I have been constantly lying to her about my addiction out of shame and she has caught me out in those lies too many times to count. It's gotten so bad to the Point that when she caught me out iv had such a strong emotional response from being found out that I struck her when she was pregnant I am so ashamed of myself and the fact that no matter how hard I try I have slipped back into it again and again I just want to not have this in my life anymore and to hurt my partner over and over again I have had way more chances then I deserve and I keep ruining it. I want to get therapy for this addiction to prove that I want to get better but I cannot financially afford it right now I feel so stuck and it feels like nothing I do is ever going to be enough to repair the damage that I have done. I don't want to be like this and I don't want to hurt anyone. Had anyone else gone through this that can help me because I feel so helpless. I keep thinking that I'm doing okay but then it just happens again and I go back to porn. Please someone help

_Gigi_ Bringing up serious topics
  • replies: 3

I've been formally diagnosed with depression, but haven't told anyone. I'm not sure I can hide it much longer though, without being figured out. How do you tell family that you have depression? Serious discussions make me super uncomfortable, and I'm... View more

I've been formally diagnosed with depression, but haven't told anyone. I'm not sure I can hide it much longer though, without being figured out. How do you tell family that you have depression? Serious discussions make me super uncomfortable, and I'm not sure they would take it well either. How do I broach the subject?

Joshie Compulsively watching porn and partner is fed up!!
  • replies: 1

I'm a 34yo in a 3 year relationship with my partner and we have an 11 month old daughter and I've compulsively and repeatedly hurt my partner by watching porn and being shady and sneaky behind her back. I haven't cheated and don't intend on cheat, bu... View more

I'm a 34yo in a 3 year relationship with my partner and we have an 11 month old daughter and I've compulsively and repeatedly hurt my partner by watching porn and being shady and sneaky behind her back. I haven't cheated and don't intend on cheat, but she says it's a slippery slope. I love this girl with all my heart but, I can't seem to break these self-sabotaging behaviours. Is there any thing I can do to receive the right help I need?

freakout6891 Access to newborn being controlled by partner, what are my options?
  • replies: 4

I'm a 38 year old male, in a loveless and emotionally abusive marriage since the last couple of years (married since 4 years, but things went downhill approximately 2 years ago). My partner absolutely despises me (she claims she doesn't, but actions ... View more

I'm a 38 year old male, in a loveless and emotionally abusive marriage since the last couple of years (married since 4 years, but things went downhill approximately 2 years ago). My partner absolutely despises me (she claims she doesn't, but actions speak louder than words). I have tried to leave her on multiple occasions, but haven't been able to do so because of her family convincing me to give it another chance, and me generally being too weak to leave. We have a one month old baby, and she's now acting as a gatekeeper - only allowing me to hold or pet the baby when she agrees. Her justification is that, I don't know how to handle babies and I may injure him or cause him distress. She also says that she needs to 'protect' the baby since he had a difficult birth and gets sick quite often (not a long term issue, but he needs to be managed carefully until he is like 3 months old). I don't see a long term future with her, and I just want to get away from her. But in the short term, I would like to have equal access to our baby, without having to seek my wife's 'permission'. I am not sure how to go about this or whom to approach for this. She is extremely bossy, rude and dominating with me. I do understand that laws are usually stacked against men, and women's words are almost always believed by default. Can I get some sort of legally binding court order that lets me access the baby more? The problems in our marriage run much deeper than this (she has almost completely destroyed me with emotional abuse for years, and I am pretty much dead inside, just living a mechanical life), but I would like to experience at least some joy of being a parent that she is denying. P.S. Getting family or friends involved won't work, she doesn't listen to anyone and just wants to dictate her own terms. Always has been this way.

Guest_10200 My ex-bestfriend has symptoms of Schizophrenia and I feel like I've left her in the dust
  • replies: 9

hi everyone! Recently I have been personally going through one of the roughest periods of my life in terms of burnout and overall balance with friendships and stress. Although I am personally feeling alot better, I still worry about one of my ex best... View more

hi everyone! Recently I have been personally going through one of the roughest periods of my life in terms of burnout and overall balance with friendships and stress. Although I am personally feeling alot better, I still worry about one of my ex best friends. In the past she constantly had instances of paranoia and was increasingly more worried about being stalked/followed/kidnapped and it got to a point I didn't want to be around her anymore for my sanity. It was mentally incredibly draining being around her however I still miss the old her a lot. Although I dont think we may ever rekindle what we had before I also dont want her to feel like ive just left her. She's also gotten some of her friends to dislike me as well and I dont really want to confront the situation any longer. Also she would constantly put me and another girl against each other and would make us both feel jealous of each other whether that be sleepovers or hangouts it was just a really toxic situation. She's also threatened our mutuals that "she'll do something about it" and "confront me" however I really dont want to deal with this any longer especially admits exam period. What should I do and how do I stop thinking about this? I really just want to enjoy school and life without having a "burden" on me. thank you all

Kelly_3007 My partner cheated on me
  • replies: 3

My partner cheated on me and I feel like my whole world is falling apart, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep I cry all day and I can’t even look at myself when I get into the shower without thinking of how he touched her body instead of mine but I’m finding ... View more

My partner cheated on me and I feel like my whole world is falling apart, I can’t eat, I can’t sleep I cry all day and I can’t even look at myself when I get into the shower without thinking of how he touched her body instead of mine but I’m finding it so hard to leave him, he has shown no effort to try and win me back or make sure I’m ok but all I want to do is talk with him and be around him and it’s killing me

Gypsey Stressed and upset
  • replies: 6

I am 55yrs old and having so much trouble being in control of my emotions and thoughts.I have a few things going on My eldest son who is only 22 has found out he has a heart condition and is having trouble passing work medicals. Im having to pay for ... View more

I am 55yrs old and having so much trouble being in control of my emotions and thoughts.I have a few things going on My eldest son who is only 22 has found out he has a heart condition and is having trouble passing work medicals. Im having to pay for his living expenses as he is no longer at home. Im torn between feeling troubled over his health and then the financial burden of it all.I have anxiety over my younger sons future as he is getting to the age yr 10 that he has to get good grades and start his own future.My husband and I are fighting all the time nit picking and talking of breaking up. He is really copping it from me.We want to retire in 3yrs and money is giving me anxiety super, sale if a block of land etc we have the added worry of a neighbour signing up for a windfarm we do not want.I have all this going on and menopause on top. My boss is looking to sell his business too.I have been on low dose antidepressants since having children as I get nervous and feel vulnerable in social situations.I also have just been diagnosed with a couple if health issues.I feel angry sad and out of control.

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