Caring less about my marriage

[JBP]

Good Morning,

I'm married to a man who has in the past battled drug addiction and has also been a binge drinker on weekends. Recent health issues have forced him to re-evaluate his lifestyle and I had hoped that this time he would do the right thing and change but he has fallen right back into old habits and my gut is telling me we are heading into a another cycle of drug taking and drinking. Our children are now all grown and I don't think I have it in me to go through this again. I look at him and I only feel tired, he excuses his bad behaviour, minimises the hurt it causes and when his health suffers because of his behaviour he promises to change but then expects constant praise for minor changes but he doesn't really  make the big changes. I feel like I'm drowning, he's sucking all the vitality from me. People say "he loves you so much" but micro aggressions, over consumption of food, and alcohol, I don't feel like he really does. Is it normal when you reach your 50's to re-evaluate your life? What you tolerated or participated in when you are younger you no longer want to be a part of? Anyhow, thankyou for having a safe place to get this off my chest. 

[Sophie_M]

Hi JBP,

Welcome to the Forums! We are glad that you have found us here and hope that this can be a safe and supportive space for you.

It is great that you were able to get it off your chest. Your hurt and despair are valid and something that it sounds like you have carried for a long time. It is completely understandable to be getting to a point of re-evaluating what you are willing to tolerate, and what you know is going to impact your mental health.

Is there anyone in your life that you feel you can talk to about what is happening? If you ever want to talk more, please don’t hesitate to give the lovely Beyond Blue counsellors a call on 1300 22 4636 or speak to them on webchat here.
 
Thanks again for sharing here. Our community is here for you 24/7  
 
Kind regards,  
Sophie M