Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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PsychedelicFur I have big feelings for my friend and I don't know what to do
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Hello. Recently, I left my partner and we were together for one year. Since leaving him, I have really felt quite lonely and yearning for some companionship. My friend, who is much older than me, is very dear and important to me. We have known each o... View more

Hello. Recently, I left my partner and we were together for one year. Since leaving him, I have really felt quite lonely and yearning for some companionship. My friend, who is much older than me, is very dear and important to me. We have known each other for more than five years, probably seven. I guess, in some way I have always felt something for him. However, I have never pursued or told him because I am afraid of rejection. He is empathic, kind, gentle, attentive, supportive and genuinely brought up properly. Plus the age gap is very large. I am of legal age but I feel like he wouldn't be interested in me, in that way. I am in my early twenties and I have told him he is important to me. The other day, there was a family emergency of mine and he came to visit me. He initiated hand holding, he held my hand to comfort me and then we cuddled on the sofa. Nothing escalated, which was really respectful of him. He has never taken advantage of me and he is different to other guys, that I have known. The only issue is he calls me his 'little sister'... I wish things were different. I really have a lot of love in my heart for him. And when he cuddled me and held my hand it brought SO MUCH comfort and happiness to me. I felt really comfortable and safe. I loved hearing his heart beat fast. I wish I could tell him that I love him but I'm really afraid of doing so. I really like him. PF.

Mortho when is it enough
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I think just writing something down helps me feel better. so here goes. when is it time to say enough. some weeks he puts me through hell i spend hours talking him through his negative thoughts until he comes out the other side, i feel like i’m const... View more

I think just writing something down helps me feel better. so here goes. when is it time to say enough. some weeks he puts me through hell i spend hours talking him through his negative thoughts until he comes out the other side, i feel like i’m constantly running on empty and am always being positive and supportive of him. I do tell him some times it’s to much and i need a break and he says he knows he’s a lot and leans on me for to much all the time. But he never seems to let up i’m so mentally and emotionally drained. some days i hate him and i don’t want to feel that way about him. it’s been a very hard 12 months and i thought once he came out of hospital after 5 weeks things would he better and things have improved he is working every day and we are socializing again which is great. But then he spends all our time together over analyzing how every one else is better than him, how people at work are smarter. I just want my husband back and i’m so angry at this mental illness for taking him away from me. I know it’s a long road to get better but it’s wearing me down.

Bonbonsp Please help me
  • replies: 3

I met this girl. We went to formal together. We went on a bunch of dates. We hugged. Bought each other gifts and talked for hours everyday. We hung out all the time. I rember asking her out and I swear she said yes and we continued to do stuff togeth... View more

I met this girl. We went to formal together. We went on a bunch of dates. We hugged. Bought each other gifts and talked for hours everyday. We hung out all the time. I rember asking her out and I swear she said yes and we continued to do stuff together getting closer and closer. She even came over to give me some food she made just for me after I had a surgery. She bought me a gifts bac from Hawaii. I thought we had something going. But one day it's like 5pm she texts me asking me if she told anyone we were together. To be honest I did but I told like my close friends. Apprently she only thought of me as a friend. This happens after the summer break. We did alot in the summer. And all of a sudden it's like I don't exist. Whenever we interacted she would say things like "I need to go to the bathroom" and she would never come back. She also never texts me. She doesn't sit with me. And she it's if she is a diffrent person. I feel like she never liked me she just used me to get over her ex. She also had some mental heath issues as she had anorexia. She used to be a super popular but moved. So that's how we met and she told me she didn't like partys or being popular etc. But now she's going back to what she was before. And based upon my judgement. She wants someone else. She's going to partys making new friends. And hanging out with this other guy. She pretends to care one but it's all an act becasue the second she sees me she runs away as far as possible. I also have alot of other issues going on rn such as mu great uncle dying and my dad with heart issues. And it's hard with mu studies and everything. I've been so depressed. And I want to stop living. I can't stop thinking about her. She's in my dreams every night. Deep down i really just want her. The old her. Maybe I'm going insane or blinded. But I loved her and she never loved me.

jon74 Struggling with relationship breakdown
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Hi l have recently come out of long marriage . My ex controlled nearly every aspect of my life. She continues to by refusing mediation for the property dispute. I was hospitalised twice due to suicide attempts late last year. I just can't see any way... View more

Hi l have recently come out of long marriage . My ex controlled nearly every aspect of my life. She continues to by refusing mediation for the property dispute. I was hospitalised twice due to suicide attempts late last year. I just can't see any way to move forward with my like. She has also turned our adult children against me

Romes88 I wrote myself off when pregnant, but I still can't stop
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I think I have alcoholism. It definitely runs in my family. But ever since having kids I've realised I have a super unhealthy habit of drinking to numb myself. I got completely blind when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and unfortunately it didn't d... View more

I think I have alcoholism. It definitely runs in my family. But ever since having kids I've realised I have a super unhealthy habit of drinking to numb myself. I got completely blind when I was pregnant with my 2nd child and unfortunately it didn't deter me. I am my own worst enemy and I can't understand why I keep going back to alcohol. She is the light of my life, and now I can't believe I ever put her in danger, but still things get hard and I drink. I get a night alone, I drink, just to feel numb rather than feel the rage. Rage of two young kids pushing buttons. The stress of constantly cleaning up messes. The guilt of snapping at my kids. The grief of not being myself and not knowing who I am anymore. I know it will pass, but being in the thick of it sucks so so bad.

Beccahadz I think I’m in an abusive relationship
  • replies: 4

My partner came home from work angry today, and lost his shit when I had no cigarettes left (I had a 30 pack yesterday, and yes I know that is really bad). In his defence, I had taken a few off him and I need to pay it back. Then he lost his shit aga... View more

My partner came home from work angry today, and lost his shit when I had no cigarettes left (I had a 30 pack yesterday, and yes I know that is really bad). In his defence, I had taken a few off him and I need to pay it back. Then he lost his shit again but this time telling me the shows that I watch do no good for me when I’m home. I usually clean the house and do the washing on my three days off from work. He’s been yelling at me about my lack of communication, and I know I need to work on it and I have been trying. But sometimes I feel like I have to walk on eggshells, and I can’t tell him that because I’m afraid he’ll lose it at me again. I love him so much, and if I lose him I’d be super depressed.

JustAnYtka Food Shaming
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This is just a rant I need to get out however I'm open to feedback. I had dinner tonight and I was proud of myself for once, because I ate some tomato. My mum made homemade mac n cheese with bacon and tomato. I'm autistic with co morbid PDA and one o... View more

This is just a rant I need to get out however I'm open to feedback. I had dinner tonight and I was proud of myself for once, because I ate some tomato. My mum made homemade mac n cheese with bacon and tomato. I'm autistic with co morbid PDA and one of my traits is that I have a very restrictive diet and very few safe foods. So tonight I ate pretty much of all my dinner except for a piece of tomato, but I'd already had a few pieces and I was full. About an hour after eating, I went to get a bit of chocolate for dessert and couldn't find it. Now my mum has a really frustrating habit of hiding foods that she thinks I shouldn't be eating without even talking to me about her concerns, so I knew that she had hidden it. I asked her of she had and she said yes. So I asked her why and she told me that I eat too much unhealthy food and not much healthy food. This is true, but that tonight I was really proud of myself and I guess I just wanted to treat myself a bit. She said get a piece of fruit. This type of conversation is really really frustrating and makes me loose trust in her because she knows about my struggles and the actual diagnosis behind them. She always says eat what you can and when you can but then later on gets mad at me for eating unhealthy or not enough.Another thing that frustrates me is that if she didn't have an actual diet (she's recovering from a stomach bypass) she would be eating worse food than me, and she did pre surgery. She would get upset with me having a small bar of chocolate every night but then she would go eat a whole box of chocolate icecreams. Right now I'm so frustrated that I want to scream and cry and yell. Thanks for reading,Ber

Bill of Silence Half Sister Stalking me
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I have a half-sister to whom is a psychologist and since my father passed away in 2017, she has interfered with myself getting my father's inheritance. Now she is accusing me of stalking her, after i contacted her workplace, she is abusing her workpl... View more

I have a half-sister to whom is a psychologist and since my father passed away in 2017, she has interfered with myself getting my father's inheritance. Now she is accusing me of stalking her, after i contacted her workplace, she is abusing her workplace and their reputation by her using their letterheads in her emails. She has abused everyone helping me and obtained over 300 emails from the Public Trustees to accuse me of breach of the stalking caution, when it is the opposite. As she is a psychologist everyone does what she wants, even the Police. I told the Police these emails are confidential and private and cannot be used as evidence. As they are to do with my father's inheritance as this half-sister is not related to him. Again, a Hostile brother sends her an email with no mention of her name but the Police Assume it was about her and use it as evidence against me. As she is a psychologist the Police Always side with her. Over her actions after 2017 she has put me in hospital and driven me to a state of Suicidal Tendencies and the Hospital psychologist can see what she is doing is illegal. That now after getting mental health support and I feel a lot better, by just ignoring her and blocking all contact with her. My Late father's friend can see that I have done nothing wrong, but she will not stop stalking me until I am deceased, so she claims my father's inheritance. I am Happy and enjoying my life and this Angers her, and I have a lot of support. Not going to waste more money on Solicitors. So, I am waiting to see how this develops. Has anyone got any advice what to do? I just cannot escape her and as she is a psychologist it makes it harder.

-B- This marriage feels so unfair
  • replies: 2

I never thought that I would be here. I am in my 30s, married for less than a year to a man I had an affair with. We have a new baby together and after 6 months following his birth, I am back at work full time supporting my new family and husband's 1... View more

I never thought that I would be here. I am in my 30s, married for less than a year to a man I had an affair with. We have a new baby together and after 6 months following his birth, I am back at work full time supporting my new family and husband's 17yo (from prev. marriage) that the ex-wife kicked out of home. I have welcomed this kid into my home with open arms and he has no manners, no hygiene, contributes nothing and I cook, clean and do his washing. I am burnt out, feeling neglected and taken advantage of. My husband quit his job to care for our baby full time. I try so hard to push myself every day to perform at work, care for our family and be a loving wife. The second I express that I'm stressed or need help, my husband takes offence and distances himself from me. Even if I'm sobbing on the bathroom floor, I am ignored. I am always the one to approach him, apologise for being emotional and bridge the distance. I am emotionally exhausted. Is this normal for new mums to feel so neglected? If I didn't love my husband as much as I do, I would be asking him for a divorce. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Echtis A few things.
  • replies: 1

Hi. I'm 24M. Unlike most other people my age I live on my own and have since I was 17/18. This is because my parents, or rather my mother, was incredibly abusive in ways that I won't go into detail here. My father wasn't abusive, but he did nothing t... View more

Hi. I'm 24M. Unlike most other people my age I live on my own and have since I was 17/18. This is because my parents, or rather my mother, was incredibly abusive in ways that I won't go into detail here. My father wasn't abusive, but he did nothing to attempt to stop what mum was doing to me. On one hand, I hate both of them, and wish for nothing more than to never speak to them again. On the other, despite mother denying any of it happening, they treat me very well when I visit them on occasion, which unironically makes me trust them less. On the other, life is hopefully long, and things and people can change. I'm sure part of this is some form of warped attachment. I keep them at arm's length where I can safely disengage. Secondly, something I am slightly more uncomfortable talking about, is a friendship with a young woman who I actually quite liked. I'll spare the details, but I liked her, and it seemed she liked me, but I was uncomfortable and felt strange with the age gap between us despite us both being adults. She initially claimed to be lesbian, but quickly went back on it, and is now in a relationship with a young man. I was quite upset by this, and I actually wrote her a pretty mediocre love song before I found out she was dating someone. I am uncertain of what details I can or should post, so I'll say that we have very similar interests, dreams, personalities, etc. I get that I missed my opportunity, but I know it would really hurt her if I moved on as much as it would hurt me. I've really struggled to find connections, but obviously it is quite torturous seeing someone you like with someone else. I would be giving up a friend first and a romantic interest second. Either way, at least thought I'd share my thoughts and feelings at the very least, maybe get some advice from more level headed people as I do not have many friends and I am not getting support from the ones I have. Thanks.