Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Lisajuniper_1 Cheating
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Hi, I am 36 and married with children. a few months ago I went out and watched a band play. I instantly thought the singer was hot and I found out his name and started messaging him. We messaged for 3 months and he made promises that we would meet up... View more

Hi, I am 36 and married with children. a few months ago I went out and watched a band play. I instantly thought the singer was hot and I found out his name and started messaging him. We messaged for 3 months and he made promises that we would meet up but then it was all about him being busy and it’s gigs. On the weekend I went to watch him play again and he caught up for a short while afterwards and kissed. Since this all started I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. I hardly know him and I stalk him on social media all the time. He doesn’t ask me anything about me so I’m assuming I’m more into him. He said we will catch up again but deep down I know it’s just going to drag out and I will have to make the effort for it to happen. the thought of it not happening again is making me feel crazy. I literally feel crazy. I can’t eat, sleep and I’m crying all the time. I can’t concentrate at work and I’m scared to be alone. please tell me how I can stop feeling like this. I love my husband. My husband cheated on me about 3 years ago so maybe that’s why I’m doing it. I don’t feel that attracted to my husband.

unkown87 Affair
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When should you say enough is enough in an affair? seeing him for about 2yrs, we both are married and are not happy in our current marriages. WE both have fallen in love and can see a future together. The issues are we both are not ready to leave our... View more

When should you say enough is enough in an affair? seeing him for about 2yrs, we both are married and are not happy in our current marriages. WE both have fallen in love and can see a future together. The issues are we both are not ready to leave our marriages yet, he cant give me sex but can give me anything else, he shuts down when things get to overwhelming for him. I also feel he takes what we have for granted, He says if we were together things would be so much better between us but untill that comes i feel its more hard then good. Any advise.

Charsybee Am I Overreacting?
  • replies: 3

Good Morning. I`m a newbie as of today. I have been up for most of the evening thinking about a comment my husband made yesterday. He said in a joking manner that " I`m his misery ". Initially I felt hurt by his comment and didn`t understand how that... View more

Good Morning. I`m a newbie as of today. I have been up for most of the evening thinking about a comment my husband made yesterday. He said in a joking manner that " I`m his misery ". Initially I felt hurt by his comment and didn`t understand how that was suppose to be funny. I have been through a lot of crap over the years with him. Lets just say he has lied and cheated on me in the past. Mind you that was quite a few years ago. But since then I have had a bad back injury from work and then got stage 4 stomach cancer which I managed to fight off. As you can imagine the comment hit me hard as I`ve tried really hard to forgive him and get on with living our lives happily. Am I being to sensitive? There is so much more going on but I`m running out of words to write. I would appreciate anyone`s opinion to find if I am overreacting. Thank you!

unkown87 Messed up
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Needing advise and help in anyway possible. I’m married and I have been seeing this guy for 2yrs he is also married. In a nutshell he can’t have sex with me cause of guilt but has done everything else sexually with me. He wants to leave his wife as h... View more

Needing advise and help in anyway possible. I’m married and I have been seeing this guy for 2yrs he is also married. In a nutshell he can’t have sex with me cause of guilt but has done everything else sexually with me. He wants to leave his wife as he said he is not in love with her anymore. I’m feeling really rejected and not good enough at this point and I feel as though he takes what we have for granted. I dunno what to do anymore as I’m madley in love with him and have never felt this way ever about anyone. This is my situation I a nutshell but any Advise on that so far will be helpful

PsychedelicFur Body Dysmorphia & Boyfriend
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TW : Body DysmorphiaHello everyone,I struggle with body dysmorphia due to being psychologically abused by my Mother and my very first serious boyfriend about my weight and looks.I don’t really know what my body looks like.I am told by my doctor that ... View more

TW : Body DysmorphiaHello everyone,I struggle with body dysmorphia due to being psychologically abused by my Mother and my very first serious boyfriend about my weight and looks.I don’t really know what my body looks like.I am told by my doctor that I am at a healthy weight. And my other friends always reassure me and tell me that I’m at a healthy. However, a few weeks ago my boyfriend told me I was chubby around the stomach area, as I stood naked in the mirror. And it really hurt me. He knows about my body dysmorphia and I have told him about the abuse I have suffered in the past, from close people in my life. And I am actively trying to love my body. It has hurt me. And it’s constantly playing in my mind.He apologized and I believe he genuinely felt bad about it. Although, it has stuck with me. And it’s affecting me everyday now. I stand in the mirror critiquing my body, especially my stomach area.I don’t know what to do.

Supportrequired Miscarriage and Ex doesn't believe me
  • replies: 1

Hi All, thank you for the support.I'm needing to get this off my chest.Was dating a man for 3 months. It ended last Friday after it got physical. Things had been a bit rocky as he an alcoholic and when I drink too, he can say some very insensitive th... View more

Hi All, thank you for the support.I'm needing to get this off my chest.Was dating a man for 3 months. It ended last Friday after it got physical. Things had been a bit rocky as he an alcoholic and when I drink too, he can say some very insensitive things that results in arguments between us. But I still love him and he says he still loves me and if I disappear he'll stop loving me. I wanted to work on the relationship issues, because when he is sober he is a beautiful individual. Well it's gotten worse, I didn't know I was pregnant. Turns out I wasn't covered for over a month following a UTI. I was 2 months pregnant and I miscarriaged. I told him and he doesn't believe me. Said I lied to him as I was still on the pill but can random bouts of breakthrough bleeding. I suffer from endometorisis and I highly doubted I'd ever fall pregnant.So I'm mourning the loss of a love and struggling to come with the terms that I had a miscarriage. He won't answer my calls. I live in a small town and I went out with friends to try to get my mind off it. He turned up and flat out ignored me. It upset me so much. I confronted him and he said I lied in front of a lot of people. I threw a plastic cup at him and he said it's all documented now. I've blocked him on social media as I can't handle anymore heartache. I just wish we could have a peaceful conversation about this so I have some form of support. I have no family here to lean on.

anon23 Looking for advice.
  • replies: 1

I have been with my partner for nearly 4 years and have been struggling more and more each day. When we first started dating I use to snoop his phone and see him messaging other girls “missing their body”, etc. when I would mention it he would deny i... View more

I have been with my partner for nearly 4 years and have been struggling more and more each day. When we first started dating I use to snoop his phone and see him messaging other girls “missing their body”, etc. when I would mention it he would deny it and cry and say it was a mistake on his phone. I’d let it go. This has repeatedly happened and each time he has denied it. I have seen him love other girls photos, request pages on instagram of half naked girls, liking their content. It made me uncomfortable and I asked him to stop and he said he would. I would still se he had been doing it. One day I got super bad anxiety he was doing more things behind my back when I found a secret email linked to his normal email account and mobile phone. He had joined onlyfans, pornhub, and had a Snapchat account I was not aware of. I broke down I confronted him and he denied it all. I logged into the Snapchat account using the number of that was linked showing him it was linked to his mobile… where multiple girls names popped up. I looked at the blocked list with all his family members had been blocked. He denied it was his. I showed him the onlyfans. He denied it, as he did to the pornhub account. I sadly felt worthless and disgusting. I then found myself being unable to eat and went to the gym multiple times where I had lost 15kilos. I spoke to him multiple times regarding how it made me feel, he would cry and deny it and I would comfort him, we would make up thinking it would all stop. Weeks past and I would see once again porn in his history or following cheerleading pages on FB for everyone to see. He says he has a low sex drive and is always tired but then I see all this behind my back… Last week I discovered more porn behind my back and confronted him where he denied it again. I feel so lost and confused of what to do. He is a nice guy to me and my family. And I do feel a lot for him but I can’t seem to move past this. I am really struggling mentally with this. I feel depressed like I want to sleep all the time my grades at uni have lowered and I feel worthless. I am scared to leave because of the house, we have animals, etc. At the moment I am living with my sister as I told him I need space for a while. I would love any advice I am really struggling. Thank you.

SmashingPumpkings69 How do I support my adult children
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What can I do when my son of 27 years old that has recently been diagnosed with ADHD does not answer my text and phone calls . He left home (not my home but my ex-wifes home ) about 1 and halve years ago. He recently asked me if he could move into my... View more

What can I do when my son of 27 years old that has recently been diagnosed with ADHD does not answer my text and phone calls . He left home (not my home but my ex-wifes home ) about 1 and halve years ago. He recently asked me if he could move into my home when he lease runs out . I said he could and invited him to come around for barbecue . He cancelled on me three times and this time said he did not feel like coming around becuase of his sleep patterns in a text (that is all he said) . He has not been in contact with my ex wife for two weeks as well . I worry about him as he quit his job about 2 months ago.

iamjustlostandneedhelp TW: Rape and my relationship
  • replies: 4

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worri... View more

Ok so I (F21) was raped 2 years before I met my current partner (M22), we have now been together for 2.5 years. At the start of our relationship I really struggled to deal with it but he helped me and now its not something that I think about or worries me on a day to day basis. I just recent found porn saved onto his phone and when I confronted him about it he said its because he cant get hard when he looks at me because he thinks of me being raped. He says he doesnt want to make me do anything that I dont want to do and he doesn't want to hurt me, which is wonderful and I am thankful for that but I have told him that Im ok and and he has never hurt me, if I didnt want something I would say so. He just cant seem to get over it though. I dont know how to go about this, how do I help him heal from the trauma. It sorta doesnt make sense to me, he wasnt there, I didnt even know him at the time and like theres nothing he could do. He helped me through it all so hes done literally everything in his power to make me comfortable but I just cant seem to do it with him. He says he has really been struggling mentally recently and I brought up the importance of talking about whats going on and not hiding things and he says he knows its just too hard. Does anyone have any recommendations on what to do about this situation