Diabetic partner

[Leesha456]

My partner and I just had our 9 year anniversary, we are both in our late 20's, mostly things with us are great, he's loving, loyal, caring, hardworking, a great partner.

But, he is type 1 diabetic, which is fine I would never not be with someone because of that, however he does not look after his health in the slightest bit! Heavily smokes, drinks, eats food he shouldnt (infact if I didn't make him eat Veges, he wouldn't..) which I find extreamly difficult to watch. We have had many conversations about it over the years, we even had a break 2 years ago because of it but he always promises he will do better.

I am constantly having to look after him when he has sugar lows/highs and he gets very aggressive when that happens, he wets/poos the bed quite often, his diabetes even got so bad last year I had to literally drag him into the car and take him to hospital and he was in ICU for a week..

Iv tried speaking to his family about but and they'll listen but then speak to him about it and he'll play it down and then I'm the one over reacting.

I spoke to my bestfriend about when he gets aggressive and she told me that I should just sit down and be quite when he treats me like that..

Don't get me wrong he is a beautiful person and normally would never dream of treating me poorly. It's just his diabetes.

No one ever told me this is what it can be like, there are no support groups that I know of for partners. No one I know understands just how hard this is.

I feel like I'm going insane at times, trying to get through to a brick wall, I broke down tonight, I'm so tired of watching someone slowly kill themself and having to clean up the mess..

But I love him so much..

Feeling defeated..

[Betternow]

Hello Leesha

I'm sorry to hear about your problems with your boyfriend and his health.

I’m wondering how old he was when he first learned he had Type 1 diabetes?

Can I assume he is administering insulin (or supposed to be) at least twice daily?

Is he compliant with his medications?

It’s difficult to advise you because there is a lack of detail about his overall attitude towards his diabetes and life generally. If he is drinking, smoking and has a poor diet he is obviously putting his health at risk even if he didn’t have diabetes.

Sometimes, patients with chronic disease can rebel against their disease as a way of “wishing away” their condition. This is usually seen in teenage patients who don’t want to be identified by their condition. I’ve known asthmatics to ignore their medications because of the perceived embarrassment of being different.

However, you boyfriend is older and one would expect him to be more accepting.

Would you be able to tell us a little more of what your boyfriend has to say about his risky behaviour?

[Elephant86]

I totally sympathise with you and I realise how difficult it is to control diabetes you see I was diabeties type 2 and beleive me I have been on the roller coaster. What I did was I switched my diet to more vegtables and fruit and fresh lean meat. Most importantly I switched my from processed food to fresh food. Beleive me I know how difficult it is to get your diabetes under control but it is about making chioces that prolong your life. At the moment I have an exercise regime of cycling 40 minutes a day which keeps my weight to a level. A good diet to try is the mediteranian diet which has more fish, vegies and olive oil then other diets that have highly processed foods. I feel sometimes you need to show tough love to help push in the right derection. The main thing is to look for hidden sugars with in foods and I know how hard it is because sugar is in everything but there are good and bad sugars and you must be able to recognize the good from the bad sugar.

Example I have an orange instead of having chips or choclate small decisions to change make a difference to you

Remember to also look after your own health as well and try not to let it overwhem you and always ask the right medical advice when needed. This is important for your partners and your wellbeing.

Have a wonderful day and if you need help we are always here at Beyond  Blue