Normal teenager

[Guest_42537424]

Hey, this is my first post.

I am almost in my 20s and everyone keeps telling me that these years are the best but amongst of the happiness I have felt so much heartbreak and pain. I love this guy more than anything else, so much so that I am okay with not being in a relationship with him as he is about to start his childhood dream of his career which requires him to leave my area and says that there’s no point of being in a relationship as he is leaving. Everyone in my life is telling me to let him go but I couldn’t let him go if I tried. I feel like I am loosing everyone in my life, I changed lifestyles completely and no one I was surrounded by in that lifestyle cares or reaches out to me, I know i will make friends in my new career however I feel as if I’m mourning a family I lost. This is me turning over a new leaf, completely starting a new life. I just wish I had someone who would love me as much as I love them, am I so hard to care for? why do I give so much and don’t care if I receive nothing back. How do I handle me losing the love of my life when I know I will think about him for the rest of my life looking for him in every crowd, basing my next relationships of him, telling my children of the one I will always love, maybe even just wait for him for the rest of my life because I will do it.

[Croix]

Dear new member~

Whoever said these were the best years of your life is talking though their hat. Younger people feel things just as intensely as older ones, and have their own sets of problems.

And one of those problems is one's first love, which will have a special place in your heart. I still remember mine with affection from may decades ago.  This does not mean my life stopped when it ended, though frankly it did seem like it at the time.

Maybe I'm fortunate but I do not compare that peron with the one I married, she has her own beauty, personality and traits that push thoughts of that person far into the background. My original love changed to something less urgent and no longer at the forefront of my mind, I found I had the ability to love afresh.

I'm saying all this because I consider I was a normal teenager and would not be surprised if the same happens to you.

Being near 20 is a turning point in many people lives and if you change the people you are used to for others, due to leaving education, getting a job or other reasons, then it is hard becuse there are few to support you. As you say yourself an new circle of acquaintances an friends will grow.

Can I suggest that even if you feel reluctant you concentrate more on having a social life and see where that leads?

If you have no one to talk to about all this I would think the Kids Help Line would be pretty good. You can phone or text, they are there 24/7 and can be a comfort, they do understand younger peoples hassles. Anyone under 25 can contact them.

We are here too anytime

Croix