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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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LanaKane Failing at toilet training
  • replies: 6

I think this will be a pretty pathetic post but I don't know where else to turn for this advice. I asked Ngala and they just keep brushing it off. We have been toilet training our daughter since about January. Yep almost a year. She's 3.5 yo now We s... View more

I think this will be a pretty pathetic post but I don't know where else to turn for this advice. I asked Ngala and they just keep brushing it off. We have been toilet training our daughter since about January. Yep almost a year. She's 3.5 yo now We started with the book Oh Cr@p Potty Training. And some principles worked, but not in the 3 days everyone said it should. Or even weeks. Or months. So we bought the Big Little Feelings course and started from scratch. But months later we are still having accidents. Mostly wees are ok but it's always the poos. The worst part is that she just poos and isn't bothered. Doesn't tell us, we just realise when we smell it. So our last attempt over a couple of weeks now has been a reward chart. I don't like them in general but we are desperate. She starts school in a couple of months! They're going to hate this. And because I'm going through a pretty bad (unrelated, though this isn't helping) bout of depression right now, of course in my head this is all my fault. We have done everything right, we've never shamed her or gotten angry, we've made sure she understands. She's the most intelligent kid, I just don't know how we can help her get this. I'm desperate and just blaming myself so much

Alyka Step son is driving me mad
  • replies: 6

My step son is 18 years old, has has been the major source of our(My husband and I) arguments. I don't want him to live in our house any more since he is an adult and he has his barrages of issues which makes me doubting humidity. I'll explain this l... View more

My step son is 18 years old, has has been the major source of our(My husband and I) arguments. I don't want him to live in our house any more since he is an adult and he has his barrages of issues which makes me doubting humidity. I'll explain this later. My husband, although very much agree with me on those problems, insists that he stays with us no matter what. He came into our care at 14, by which most of his personality already formed. Neither of us knew that at the time, but he was impossible to live with. He lies, so much that I had to learn to question every single sentence he said. He'd lie about his friend gifted him something but it was actually he bought using the money he stole from our room, even the friend was a made up, as we never saw him hanging out with anyone. Like he said his shoes were broken but actually he cut them open to get new expensive($300-$500) shoes, the same goes for everything, pants, bikes, phones. And sometimes he lies without obvious personal gain, like he said he used the allowance for gift card but it was actually for food, sometimes he said he had rice for lunch but was actually a sandwich, he said he went out but actually stayed home the whole day, etc. those lies make even less sense to me. And as I mentioned a little above, he steals and have NO idea of the value of money. He doesn't earn a cent and he wants all the limited edition, high-end brands, not because the quality, but to show off online. And his logic goes: If I ask, you'd have refused to buy it for me, then what choice do I have, other than steal your money and buy it myself? I mean that's criminal's mindset and creeps me out. He lacks any form of respect and manner. He doesn't greet people unless requested, he'll curse, yell and say profane words with no remorse no restraint. He said to me and his dad that he'd (f word) our mothers because we cut him off internet. Other sayings even worse I simply can't repeat. And I really don't think he loves or misses anyone. Even his grand parents who love and took care of him for the first 14 years. He'd choose games over talking to them. I'm I a bad person thinking that? Because I kinda agree my husband has a point, he's not capable of making it by himself. He has the language/maths skills of a 4th grader, seriously tested. And he only graduated year 10 with no other certificates. And he refuses any learning/job because they requires certain commitment. In this case, what do I do?

forever2007 Struggling
  • replies: 2

Hi, am new to this so learning as I go. Having a difficult time as my teenage daughter has decided she doesn't want to be in the home if her father is around. Admittedly our family has gone through a lot of ups and downs over the years but a recent s... View more

Hi, am new to this so learning as I go. Having a difficult time as my teenage daughter has decided she doesn't want to be in the home if her father is around. Admittedly our family has gone through a lot of ups and downs over the years but a recent situation has caused a massive upheaval. I am struggling because my daughter has decided to provide an ultimatum by telling me to choose between the two of them and if I don't choose her she is not returning home. I have never known anyone let alone my daughter to have so much anger within them, she's like a freight train whose brakes don't work and she is willing to wipe out anyone in the way of what she wants. I have spent the past few weeks almost non-stop crying and just needing 'noise' to keep my brain occupied. My sleep has never been great but have found it way more difficult to sleep lately and what sleep I do get is generally between about 3am and 5am. I don't know if she will get past this and it's breaking my heart. I have been told that I'm experiencing extremely high anxiety and stress and that I need to put some coping mechanisms in place but that's easier said than done! I'm afraid of....making a decision because I feel like I'm being led, pushed even, in a direction she wants.

randomxx Family, suppose to be our secure safe place,so why so hard ?
  • replies: 10

l'm 50s come form a huge family , scattered all over Vic and interstate.6 brothers, we mostly all get along well with no drama and all have our own lives. But it's great to see ea other whenever we do, this one or that one, only happens every yr or t... View more

l'm 50s come form a huge family , scattered all over Vic and interstate.6 brothers, we mostly all get along well with no drama and all have our own lives. But it's great to see ea other whenever we do, this one or that one, only happens every yr or two these days with most.Sisters, 6 of those too, 3 of are not worth contacting they're just too much trouble. The others l see here or there now and then or at a family thing every few yrs, good enough. Thing is though , l'm 3hrs away from most of them but there was also one brother 20mins form me, and also one sister too same area.They both manage to catch up with most of the family as they're both up and down from Melb and all over the place down there a lot. The sister's single so she has plenty of time to go visiting, or one of them is always inviting someone or other up to their place, and as l say, both their places are only 20mins over from me.l rarely get down to melb anymore and when l do it's usually work anyway and usually a huge day with nothing left by the time l'm done.l've also had a lot going on up at home with my d and my own life and mh problems too and so l just don't feel up to it anyway on that level either.l have to push myself to the end just to get through work l'll have to do. l also don't feel up to calling people much either, l'm in touch with a few family and outside of my own life and world, with a family the size of mine, l just don't have it left for for all of them, and most of them don't even call me anyway.Still , one or two l am close to do drop over when they're up here, which is always bloody nice. and we'll call a bit too. bUT ANY OF THE OTHERS THAT Do come up to the brothers place or the sisters, don't even bother calling me or telling me they'll even be up and in the area anyway.A few times l've actually gone over to one of their places myself to visit whoever it was that came up for a bit and say hello myself, when they haven't even told me they were up here anyway.l always to try to call at least a few of them at christmas too but no way l can get around to all of them. lt's just ridiculous though at this age , l mean for crying out loud what's to even be complicated butttt, it always is, it's crazy. There is though just one thing, about me and l'd have to assume really, bc no ones said anything. But l am fairly reclusive and l don't have much ph call energy either- or time really. ldk,maybe they all just know and think that, ldk. l do enjoy seeing some though when l do.

anonymous_personx Moving out temporarily
  • replies: 2

TW! From the age of 9 i have been raped by my brother, it stopped when I turned 12, i reported it to the police and was undergoing therapy for the ptsd. Recently i told my boyfriend and he suggested that I move out and live with him instead . My pare... View more

TW! From the age of 9 i have been raped by my brother, it stopped when I turned 12, i reported it to the police and was undergoing therapy for the ptsd. Recently i told my boyfriend and he suggested that I move out and live with him instead . My parents aren't so keen on him and think he's bad for me but I love him. I know my mum wouldn't allow me to move in with him. I don't want to be at home with my brother anymore but sadly have no where else to go, so it's either stay in a house i feel scared and unsafe in or i disobey my mums wishes and move in with my boyfriend anyway.What should I do? Someone help me

People_Pleaser Feeling unloved
  • replies: 1

I’ve been with my partner a little over two years, before him I was in a DV relationship for 19 years.Promised myself I would never be with anyone intill I healed and put me first…. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, when I meet my partner, I thought ... View more

I’ve been with my partner a little over two years, before him I was in a DV relationship for 19 years.Promised myself I would never be with anyone intill I healed and put me first…. Unfortunately that didn’t happen, when I meet my partner, I thought I finally met the man that understands me, my match. I explained what I had been through in my previous relationship, and wanted to take things very slowly, he was understanding and chilled with it all. Long story short, within two months he moved in with me cause the house he was in was getting sold, and he had nowhere to go. My children loved him, they all got on, it was pure bliss. Boy did everything chance after moving in, the first few months were perfect, but then he changed, there were no “good morning beautiful” or “I miss you” messages during the day, phone calls got less and less to the point where he ignores my calls now, doesn’t acknowledge my children, hides in the bedroom most of the time, I’ve tried to talk to him and resolve there’s situations, but it’s like I’m speaking a different language, he gets all overwhelmed and offensive then guilt trips me to the point where I’m apologising and feeling like a horrible person for even bringing it up, even though I said that communication is my number one thing and is very important to me as I didn’t have any of that in my last relationship, he also said it was important to him too, it broke my heart when I realised that this man was only out to use me and find somewhere to stay, he never loved me, he shows it more each day, when I come and sit next to him and chill he’ll get up and say some excuse but I’d find him sitting somewhere else not doing what he said he was gunna do… I know he’s no good for me, but I can’t seem to get him out of my life.

Medicated_and_moody Advice on moodiness..
  • replies: 6

Hi all, new to the forums. 35, female, mother to 2. Recently came off my antidepressant around 2 months ago on advice from psychiatrist and GP as I started taking medication for ADHD. ADHD medication has been lifechanging for my adhd symptoms, but I'... View more

Hi all, new to the forums. 35, female, mother to 2. Recently came off my antidepressant around 2 months ago on advice from psychiatrist and GP as I started taking medication for ADHD. ADHD medication has been lifechanging for my adhd symptoms, but I'm now feeling extremely depressed. I'm moody, irritable, snappy and nasty. I have no tolerance for anything or anyone and it's affecting my relationships with my closest family members (partner, parents, children). I'm wondering if this is common, and how others cope, or if I should just go back on the antidepressants and take the ADHD medication as necessary.. I'm feeling extremely low, with a lot of self deprecating thoughts. My behaviour has caused my mum to recently distance herself from me as she has limited capacity to deal with how aggressive, negative and argumentative I'm being. We are very close generally and she is my confidant, sounding board, and rock, so this is difficult to deal with. I can't see my gp until 1/12, and I'm feeling at a loss. Sorry if this is not the right way to share or ask for support.. any advice or help is hugely appreciated.

justine77 Friend interrupts talks over me constantly
  • replies: 1

A friend talks over me and interrupts me constantly . It’s extremely exhausting, draining, frustrating, rude . He has never done a simple google to easily see what a two way conversation actually is, or how anti social interrupting and talking over o... View more

A friend talks over me and interrupts me constantly . It’s extremely exhausting, draining, frustrating, rude . He has never done a simple google to easily see what a two way conversation actually is, or how anti social interrupting and talking over others is . He wrongly calls his interrupting and constantly talking over me, “a two way conversation” . I just want to b able to have a real 2 way conversation which means that I can finish my thought or sentence in peace and we each take turns after each person has finished speaking . He doesn’t realise that that is how to have 2 way conversations . Or at least that’s how he treats me . He might b more respectful and he might interupt others less and talk over others less aBd allow others to speak in oeace, more than he does to me . He then refuses to respond to what I have said, saying that he can’t remember what he wanted to respond, because he wasn’t allowed to immediately talk over me and interrupt me . I’ll find other ways of doing things Eg I might write a few words of what I want to say , to jolt my memory for later,of what I want to respond, but I won’t constantly talk over him and interrupt him constabtly like he does . He is too rigid to try a different way . I can’t get a word out or a sentence out, without him talking over me repetitively. It’s so draining infuriating trying to get a word out . He labels this all differently to justify it . Instead of calling it “interrupting and talking over me constantly” . He instead, labels it “HAVIng a 2 way conversation” or waiting his turn to talk he labeled as that “he’s not allowed to talk “ . He doesn’t realise how rude, exhausting, antisocial, obnoxious, it is to be constantly interupted and constantly talked over, and to not b able to get a single word or sentence out without his constant interrupting aBd talking over me . He doesn’t realise what a simple google would clarify for him, that a two way conversation means waiting till each person finishes speaking , and then responding . He doesn’t realise what the definition of two way conversation is , or how rude exhausting infuriating, antisocial and contrary to social rules, his constant interrupting and talking over me is I don’t see solutions do you ? I’m looking for solutions not for cutting off from him . He does in some ways treat me worse than he treats other people, so it’s likely that he interrupts others, or talks over others, much less frequently than he does it me. it’s likely .that he is much more respectful in conversations with others. I’m looking for solutions . I’m not looking to cut off from this friend .

Khushi23 Husband and son don't get along well
  • replies: 1

My husband and son don't get along well for some reason. They don't talk much. They speak only when required that too very limited only when needed. My son is not doing well in uni. He is suspended from his course. I think they both should sit and ha... View more

My husband and son don't get along well for some reason. They don't talk much. They speak only when required that too very limited only when needed. My son is not doing well in uni. He is suspended from his course. I think they both should sit and have a friendly talk in terms of guidance. But my husband has given up on our son and my son feels as he has given up on me why should I bother discussing with him.

tyrow Loved and lost my best friend
  • replies: 3

I fell in love with my best friend but the problem is I am already married. I am male and my best friend is female, I have been married for over 10 years now and things between my wife and me have always been good. The thing is when I hang out with m... View more

I fell in love with my best friend but the problem is I am already married. I am male and my best friend is female, I have been married for over 10 years now and things between my wife and me have always been good. The thing is when I hang out with my friend I enjoyed life more and was happy. About a month ago my friend and I admitted that we had feelings for each other, these got me wanting more and I was starting to want to leave my wife for her instead. My friend told me bot to leave my wife but there was still flirting and sexual tension between us, which started to mess with my head because I didn't know what she wanted. Recently while catching up with my friend we were talking with a little sexual banter and I grabbed her ass, at the time she didn't seem to mind but now she is very angry with me and wants nothing to do with me anymore and throwing away the friendship completely. Now I am not sure what to think, I'm extremely depressed and angry at life. I can deal with not being in a sexual relationship with her but I don't want to go on in life without her friendship.