Hi
I have been single for 6+ years and enjoy my life. Last year a friend of 20 years that I worked with had his father, wife of 47 years and mother die within 6 months of each other. I have been checking on him to see if he’s ok since the wife’s funeral in May. We hadn’t had much contact in 13 years but messaged occasionally.
Since new year, he has expressed interest in me. We’ve been going out on day trips etc. I stay over in a spare room if we’re having a few drinks.
He has talked about his past and about 30 years ago had 2 affairs on his wife (he was a policeman) he felt ashamed and they decided to stay together and work it out.
On the weekend we went to Canberra for the National Bravery Awards.
The night before we left he said he thought we should get naked. I said it was too early but ended up topless. That was all ok
on the Friday night in Canberra we both drank too much and things advanced further. This is the part where I’m wanting advice. A woman obviously notices when things aren’t ‘normal’ like a previously injured penis. I elected to say nothing the next day as we were unable to complete intercourse anyway. On the Sunday he received a message from a mate saying ‘so did you get together with your lady you bent dick …..’
i saw the message so he proceeded to tell me then that he’d been drunk and told his mate what happened. Then guess he had to tell me.
About 5-6 years ago his marriage was not great and intercourse was not good for his wife- so she told him to go to a prostitute - Which he did at the age of 62. They got into it and he was injured with a damaged penis for which he never got help.
My issue now is that I was shocked (and that takes a lot) but also not sure of the words that he didn’t tell me prior to now - so whilst I’m not judging him, his life, his issue. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I strongly believe in commitment and whilst his wife told him to go, he didn’t have to - I hold marriage vows strongly (no judgement on anyone else) but am trying to deal with how I feel about the fact he didn’t tell me prior to attempting intercourse with me, when it affect our encounter.
i suffer depression and am almost weaned off my medication but this is really challenging me. Any advice, help, opinions would be appreciated- thank you
