Dumped after 39 Years

[Heartbreakoz]

Found out my Partner is having an affair and sending money to a Thai Bar Girl and even just bought her an IPhone 17 pro only found out by accident when I was paying Bills when he went away in August and there was a strange name on one of his Transfers after a bit of digging found a photo online of her in his Hotel Room. I confronted him and he said so what they didn’t have sex and I could leave if I wanted says he wasn’t going to change the worst part is that he was supposed to be over there arranging a memorial for my late Son who died of Suicide 27 Years ago at the Soi Dog Foundation where my Partner was Volunteering. He’s now going back again in November for 3 weeks. I’m destroyed inside and don’t know what to do or how to feel it’s such a betrayal for my Son’s Memory it’s tainted The Memorial Plaque for me feel like I’ve lost my Son a second time. I am not Suicidal as I wouldn’t want to give my Partner the satisfaction of having my half of everything we established together to share with his whore.

[Croix]

Dear Heartbreakoz~

Welcome here to our friendly forum. First I'd like to express my sadness over the loss of your son, he must have had a big heart to volunteer at the Soi Dog Foundation.  To lose someone by suicide is a special form of grief. and putting up a memorial can go a way towards being able to remember the matter more easily, so I hope the memorial was placed, even if not how you would wish.

39 years of being with a person is a very long time, and I don't realy know enough about your years together to be able to form a clear picture of your partner.  He may himself have been very moved about that death and the memorial - or maybe not. If he was there are plenty of people that will take advantage of a person's grief for monetary gain and be very cunning how they do it.  If not he may have seen it as an opportunity to play up..

I cannot say I like his response saying you can go and he is not going to change. That does not sound like love and affection for you - though I suppose it could be guilt. 

I apologize if I am not outright condemning him, on the face of it his actions and words paint a bleak picture of him, however I still have those 39 years at the back of my mind and only you can say if they were  good or not, or even if the were worth trying to salvage.

You are right to be terribly hurt and angry.

Would you like to come back and say more?

Croix