Depression ruining relationship
Hi Everyone, This is my first thread here, i use to read forums here. I am suffering from major depression disorder from last year January, thats when i was diagnosed with it. I live here by myself, i have so many finanacial responsibilities. But since Jan last year its been really hard for me to do anything. I am not able to do even daily tasks of mylife . I stay home sometimes for weeks and dont go out. I am in aa long distance relationship with mygf but she is planning to move here in next 6 months. She is the only one who knows my situation my condition. My family doesn’t know anything about my health. She is been there always for me. She supported me every single day even she encouraged me to do things and motivates me that i can do it all. We love each other so much. I know my behaviour has been really bad after the sickness because most of the time i don’t even know how i am behaving. But in last 2 months its even got worst. I argue with her , blame her for everything. And later i realise and apologies. Because it’s happening everyday i know its getting reaaly hard for her to live like this. But i don’t know what should i do , How should i stop behaving like this . I don’t want hurt her anymore. She is the only one whose been there for me in my worst and she is still there for me. I am taling medicines for my mental health. Sometimes i feel liw its improved but them it comes back again. Please help me , i don’t want to hurt her anymore. I am so scared that my depression will ruin our relationship. I can’t that happening. Please help.
You can't blame yourself for depression, no one can, but when she comes over in 6 months time
If she is the only person you feel comfortable in talking to, then all you are doing is venting to her, that's only natural, but instead of blaming her go to your doctor and organise to see a psychologist, your g/friend is on the other side of the world and make use of your time talking to her as a loving b/friend, but to begin with you might need to talk to your doctor by phone if you find it difficult to leave the house.