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My wife gave her ring back today...

El_Yank
Community Member
My wife finally had enough of all my self hate, and has given me the ultimatum that if I don't get help, she's taking my daughter and leaving me... I thought I was doing ok. But, it's really just gotten worse. I'm fly off the handle over nothing. My anxiety is worse than ever. Sometimes i just want to cover myself with sheets and never get out of bed again... the worst part is, i'm going to ruin my daughter's life... 😔 already ruining my wifes.
7 Replies 7

blondguy
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni

Hello El Yank

Welcome to the forums and you are very proactive for having posted too

The forums are a rock solid & judgement free place where you can post. Your privacy is paramount here

I feel your pain as I used to have chronic anxiety for a long time in my 20's and its a bad place to be in. You are stronger than you know for posting as well and bluntly as you have. I admire your strength..a lot!

If I may ask you.....do you have a GP that you can talk to? Even if you dont I hope you can make a double appointment....as soon as you can and have a good vent.

This will be a huge step forward in your recovery to try to get back some peace of mind. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose by doing so. I still see my GP every month for a 'fine tune'

Im sorry that you are going through such a dark period right now. I was also angry until I started seeing my GP who helped me out so much.

There are many gentle people on the forums that are also going through similar issues as yourself.

I also have a daughter that has been through enough. Even for your daughters well being I hope you can book that double appointment with your doctor. If you dont think this is a good idea you are more than welcome to post back as many times as you wish

Your wife will also notice that you have made a huge effort to self improve too!

You have everything to gain and nothing to lose ElYank

You are not alone

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and thanks again for being a part of the forums too

My Kind Wishes for you

Paul

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello El Yank, sometimes it takes other people whether it's your spouse, partner or g/b/friend to tell us that something is wrong, only because we get caught up in what we are doing or can't see it ourselves, but it does come with a shock as we aren't prepared, but once we can sit down and think about has been said, it does bring us back to reality.

For your wife and daughter to leave you is something I've been through many times because it's happened 3 or 4 times.

The point is they love you but they want you to get help, they want you to see what is happening, that's very important because we tend to lock ourselves in when we are in depression.

We aren't able to think clearly, have rather thoughts or understand what this depression has done to us, but it's not your fault, so don't blame yourself, all you have to do is accept that's it's time to book an appointment with your doctor or get your wife to do it for you because she knows what's happening and sees you when you are in bed, covering yourself in sheets.

Please don't let your wife and your daughter leave you, get them to help you, or if not, show them that you are getting the help you need, if you can trust me it's worth it. Geoff.

Bethie
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi

I did the same thing to my husband a few months ago. He wasn't medicated and I was so over trips to the Phyc ward. It came down to I had to take responsibility as a mother and a person suffering MH to protect our welfare first dispite how much I love him.

2 months on and he's medicated and getting help. If anything we are now stronger together and talk more about our feelings.

I saw him change, with seeing that I started seeing the man I fell in love with again and our son stopped asking if he would ever normal Dad back again.

El_Yank
Community Member
Thanks guys. I have a GP, and will be setting up a visit. It's actually helped alot to just finally get this off my chest. You guys don't even know me, and you're being so supportive. It means alot. I guess in the back of my mind i knew something was off, but just dismissed it. My wife handing her ring back really woke me up. I think i'm ready to actually say to my GP, i need help. Thank you guys. I really can't lose my family.

Bethie
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

I honestly don't think you will loose them if your getting help. No wife ever wants a family broken up either. Talk to her and where your comfortable make choices together.

tim55
Community Member

Hi El Yank,

This is a place where there are some very wise and generous people, ready to help. I know, they have helped me through a Christmas where my marriage is hanging on by a thread and I've been out of the family home.

I think you have done really well to admit to the issue and start on some action. As you go forward, share with your wife, don't shut her out. I'm sure she will enjoy the intimacy of being a part of your journey.

Travel safe,

Tim

Hi El Yank,

If I had a dollar for every time my husband has asked me to leave, or I have wanted to leave our marriage, I would be a millionaire! Relationships can be tough. Throw in mental health issues, indecision, hiding our feelings, not accepting reality and what ever else comes along, and bang...something has to give.

It is great you are going to make an appointment to see your Dr to start getting some help. While you wait for that appointment you might like to make a list of things you can do differently in life to help your relationship. Ask your wife if she would like to add a few suggestions.

If the conversation starts to get heated or uncomfortable, try to stay calm and suggest you discuss it again some other time. It is best to walk away sometimes than to stand and argue.

Relationships Australia might be able to offer you some suggestions and couple counselling if that is something you want to do in the future.

Seeing the Dr and having a chat will certainly be very beneficial. All the best with making positive changes in your life, your wives and your child as well.

Cheers from Dools