Depression ruining relationship

[nick006]

Hi Everyone, This is my first thread here, i use to read forums here. I am suffering from major depression disorder from last year January, thats when i was diagnosed with it. I live here by myself, i have so many finanacial responsibilities. But since Jan last year its been really hard for me to do anything. I am not able to do even daily tasks of mylife . I stay home sometimes for weeks and dont go out. I am in aa long distance relationship with mygf but she is planning to move here in next 6 months. She is the only one who knows my situation my condition. My family doesn’t know anything about my health. She is been there always for me. She supported me every single day even she encouraged me to do things and motivates me that i can do it all. We love each other so much. I know my behaviour has been really bad after the sickness because most of the time i don’t even know how i am behaving. But in last 2 months its even got worst. I argue with her , blame her for everything. And later i realise and apologies. Because it’s happening everyday i know its getting reaaly hard for her to live like this. But i don’t know what should i do , How should i stop behaving like this . I don’t want hurt her anymore. She is the only one whose been there for me in my worst and she is still there for me. I am taling medicines for my mental health. Sometimes i feel liw its improved but them it comes back again. Please help me , i don’t want to hurt her anymore. I am so scared that my depression will ruin our relationship. I can’t that happening. Please help.

[geoff]

hi Nick, I am really sorry for how you are feeling and how it seems to be affecting your r/ship but long distance r/ships are not easy to maintain, because you talk and then hang up and the rest of the day is left up to you.

You can't blame yourself for depression, no one can, but when she comes over in 6 months time then the two of you will probably be living together so the situation is likely to change, so we have to try and help you with your finanacial responsibilities because this is going to be a concern and if this does happen then your depression may ease off.

If she is the only person you feel comfortable in talking to, then all you are doing is venting to her, that's only natural, but instead of blaming her go to your doctor and organise to see a psychologist, your g/friend is on the other side of the world and make use of your time talking to her as a loving b/friend, but to begin with you might need to talk to your doctor by phone if you find it difficult to leave the house.

Nick it seems as though you have only logged on so how about you getting back to me. Geoff.

[nick006]

Hi Geoff, Thank you so much for replying. I am taking medication already. And i have been to the psychologist 7-8 time last year from april to june but i didn’t find that helpfull at al. I even spoke to my gf yesterday after the post , She is a huge support to me. She ssaid we ll help each other don’t worry nothing will happen to our relationship. But i am scared, because my health is getting worst these days. But felt good after seeing your reply, that atleast someone apart from my gf knows what i am going through.

[Jessicatherese94]

Hi Nick, thanks for reaching out about your situation. You mentioned that you saw a psychologist a while ago and it didn't help. I remember when I was suffering from depression I had to see about 3 psychologists and shop around so to speak for one I clicked with. Sometimes it does take a while to find one that works with you - would trying different options be something that could work for you? It might really help to have an objective source that can get to know you, provide you with techniques on how to deal with your depression/why you feel this way etc. I really like the app Booster Buddy to help with feeling the way you are and would highly recommend it. It's great you're in such an amazing loving relationship and have someone so supportive. A good psychologist would also help you perhaps communicate in a more effective way and not blame her unnecessarily. Wishing you luck and please write back. You will get through this, I promise.