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Depression marriage breakup

Sam89
Community Member

Hi, im not sure what to do. 6 months ago my husband broke up with me. To date I have got no explanation from him the most I got was "i cant explain, i feel trapped". After a few sessions of counselling it came out he had depression. The online test came up severe. 3 months down the track he sought help from a gp (after a few breakdowns and not being allowed to work until he'd seen someone). 2 months it took for his appointment with the phycologist. Hes had 1 appointment there. He wont tell me much but talks to me more then his family ect about it. He admitted I saved his life as he had a breakdown and tried to hide it but I saw through and went to his house. He loves alone now (some nights our son stays there). Sometimes he likes me around others he pushes me away. He has thought about killing himself quite a few times now. It's just so emotional on me too. Do i stay around with hope? Or do I move on? I'm worried about hurting him but also need to protect myself. We still see each other quite often. He says he's happy to try (but wont tell anyone besides me that) but also says he cant see it working. Has anyone else been in this situation and had it work out?

2 Replies 2

Quiettall
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Hi Sam

I really feel for you. You must feel so confused and left out. Have you suggested you both see the GP or psychologist together so he can get the right advice, and you can also be advised as to how best to help him, as well as how to cope with your feelings and emotions.

Him pushing you away is often a natural reaction based on shame and not wanting to drag you down. Dont take it personally, as many people, particularly men, try this,because they cant face admitting that they are struggling within themselves, and would rather push those near to them away, making those people feel it is their fault.

I hope you both can get some support for this as it is heart wrenching for you both. You might want to check the links below, even try the 24/7 line of you are desperate, and particularly look at the resources dealing with supporting others with depression and anxiety

Sam89
Community Member
I have offered to go with him but he doesn't want me to. I'm thinking in a few months to go to marriage councelling again but he wouldn't be ready for that now. I just dont know how I'm meant to wait if/when he decided he was to be with me without setting myself up to be hurt. Luckily the gp knows the family and I've spoken to him separately (about how to get him there) Will have a look at the links.