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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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JaimeLouise13 Over reacting??
  • replies: 4

Hi, I need some help.. I dont know if I'm over reacting... Situation: My husband spent time with 3 close friends as at neighbors house and which to my knowledge was a few drinks ect. A phone call later that day to ask him if he needed a lift.. I coul... View more

Hi, I need some help.. I dont know if I'm over reacting... Situation: My husband spent time with 3 close friends as at neighbors house and which to my knowledge was a few drinks ect. A phone call later that day to ask him if he needed a lift.. I couldn't understand him or his friends. Not thinking too much about it I left and thought he will make his way to me or worst case I'll collect him on way home. My husband found his way to me eventually with a friend, he was acting strange... not his normal drunk self and suspect he was on something stronger. I asked him... he said no... i asked his friend he said nah he's drunk a bottle.. and then left in his car. Mean while my husband acting strange but I trusted them both and went with it. Next morning he didn't have a normal hang over... i said wow lastnight I could have sworn you where more then drunk... he laughed it off. Thought nothing again as I trusted him. Following weekend I was told he and my girl friends brother had tried cocaine. I said no he said he was just drunk. When I returned home I asked him nicely and said there was a rumor he was on cocaine... he was acting strange again but said no... i trusted him with his answer. That night I was sick to the stomach thinking... my husband was a lier... i felt like the biggest bitch for doughting him but my gut said he lied. Today as I could feel my heart breaking and my eyes swelled with tears I told my husband I didn't believe him. I called him a lier to his face.... i cant described the pain my heart felt. He then replied that he had tried cocaine and my heart broken again. I don't mind the reason behind him trying it. But the lie of not coming clean when asked 4 times is hurting me.. The hate I have for his mates for leaving him with me and my daughter whilst he was high hurts.. and that his mate (who was in our wedding) lied to my face. What happened if he reacted badly and he hurt either of us or worse went into a coma and I didn't know what to tell the ambos. Or died and I found out through bloods he had taken drugs without telling me. I feel as tho I can't trust his friendship group anymore nor him after lying for so long.... Am I over reacting??? I can't sleep and when thinking about it i actually want to throw up. My heart has a consistent pain since yesterday and its getting worse. We have the best relationship so I'm so confused...

Sharny Advice on when or if our children should be told about mum's mental illness
  • replies: 9

Hi, I was wondering if anyone could advise me as to whether or not my children should be told about my mental illness. It is really important at the moment due to the age of my eldest in particular of 13. I feel the need to now know firmly whether or... View more

Hi, I was wondering if anyone could advise me as to whether or not my children should be told about my mental illness. It is really important at the moment due to the age of my eldest in particular of 13. I feel the need to now know firmly whether or not this would be to his detriment or make him understand some of the things he witnesses from time to time. I don't wan't to make a mistake regretting it later on if I think it could of benefited our family but I don't wan't to make a huge mistake either. At the moment both of our children are doing very well socially and at school so I don't want to destroy anything. Recently I went back to my psychiatrist after using natural therapies only for sometime, but now things have changed a bit and the kids were asking about the appointment. I'm worried that keeping my mental health issue hidden will only make it harder if I'm ever not doing as well in the near future. My instincts tell me to leave the children out of it but thoughts keep prevailing that it might help the kids see another part to mum. Any advice would be appreciated, Sharny.

leela19 Sister committed suicide, nephew terminal illness diagnosis and 6 months postpartum
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, This is my first time posting and I am not sure where to start or even if it should be in this forum or in parenting. 2016 has been a year from hell for me... I had my first child in March, with a very traumatic late stages of pregnancy ... View more

Hi everyone, This is my first time posting and I am not sure where to start or even if it should be in this forum or in parenting. 2016 has been a year from hell for me... I had my first child in March, with a very traumatic late stages of pregnancy then a traumatic labour and delivery where both she and I were at risk, but in the end both came through OK. My husband and I then muddled through the newborn stage, as you do and fast forward to June when my bub is 3 months old and we found out that my nephew has been diagnosed with severe Duchane Muscular Dystrophy. So we now know that he is unlikely to live past his mid twenties and will end up being a full quadraplegic before then. I have been focusing on trying to be there for my brother and his wife - Not to mention my 4 year old nephew... Soon afterwards my daughter became unwell, we had no idea why but in the end needed surgery - which had to occur whilst my husband was overseas so my step-dad came to help us during that time as she recovered. My husband was back in the country for three days when the unmentionable happened and my big sister committed suicide... I had to support my entire family through the time, arrange the entire funeral, support her young children and husband, write the eulogy and try to hold everyone together whilst my bub was still recovering herself. At the funeral, my biological father and step-mother caused a massive scene and to cut a long story short - We have now fallen out and I will never speak to them again... So I feel as if I am also grieving any possible relationship with my father... I then became unwell - landed myself in hospital, had to suddenly stop breastfeeding in order to recover and returned to work 3 weeks ago. I was thrilled to go back to work, as a bit of an escape - but then I found out this week that a promotion I should have automatically be appointed to, I am not even being given an interview - presumably because I just had a baby. It has been the final straw and I now am officially not coping. I am booked in to see the GP later in the week to discuss post-natal depression but I don't even know if it is depression or just my whole world crashing down around me. I don't know how to grieve - to actually try to deal with my emotions. At the moment I am just focussing on keeping on going... Has anyone else had everything pile up like this? I just want to know that one day life will eventually return to normal and maybe one day I can feel better...

Shadow750 Really Need Help/Advice....Mentally being torn apart
  • replies: 8

Hi.I’m an only child at 55. I lost mum in March and then 3 weeks later my mum’s brother who I may have been closer to than my father.So now there is dad, he is 92 and physically well and living alone. But, he needs me and I have a family and work ful... View more

Hi.I’m an only child at 55. I lost mum in March and then 3 weeks later my mum’s brother who I may have been closer to than my father.So now there is dad, he is 92 and physically well and living alone. But, he needs me and I have a family and work full time. I cannot always be available. I feel like I’m depressed, torn, confused and just feeling guilty…..I knd of dont even know really how to express how I feel. I feel I have all these competing obligations but in all this there is no time for me. I pay all dads bills, am executor to the estate of mum and my uncle I try to see dad twice to three times per week and call him daily. But he says he’s bored, or all he’s done is watch TV each day and so I feel guilty or maybe a powerlessness over my situation. Selfishness comes to my mind....can I and should I do more ? Dad and I were never really close but he now needs me. I have tried to organise home help but he doesn’t want it. I’ve suggested community groups where they take you out for a few hours but he’s not interested. As an only child all the burden falls on me. And I feel like I have to please my wife, my dad, work and it’s just too much. Am I selfish ? Am I just whimping out ? Am I just whinging ? I do know all this mental anguish is a negative. I dont want to sound like a victim here but the competing interests make life hard. I dont think I have depression but sometimes I just want to scream out STOP, this week is mine all mine to do what I want. I've been trying to do this since mum got sick with dementia so maybe about 10 months I've been trying to juggle these balls. With mum now gone it's intensified or maybe I've made it intensify within myself. I really am confused and have decided I need to get counselling, there’s no point talking with those who know me because they have a biased view and need to speak with somebody that sees me as a blank canvas. Any advice would really be appreciated. Thanks for reading this.

Ryansmum Family Affairs
  • replies: 1

My son has admitted to an affair during his wife's pregnancy, he feels he is no longer in love with her. He is devastated and of course so is she, especially as their new baby is only a couple of months old. The affair isn't as much of an issue as hi... View more

My son has admitted to an affair during his wife's pregnancy, he feels he is no longer in love with her. He is devastated and of course so is she, especially as their new baby is only a couple of months old. The affair isn't as much of an issue as his no longer being in love with her. At the moment the only people involved are my d-i-l's family, my other son and his best man. I have suggested he contact Beyond Blue or another form of counseling as this needs to be dealt with as well as possible for everyone. Even if there is no reconciliation chance. Any tips?

SDW Anxiety after relationship breakup
  • replies: 15

Hi, every day I think about him, memories of what we did together, why can't I see him anymore, why doesn't he want to be with me. I stare at my phone, I think I hear knocking on my door and hope it's him, I get so worked up. I am not focusing on wor... View more

Hi, every day I think about him, memories of what we did together, why can't I see him anymore, why doesn't he want to be with me. I stare at my phone, I think I hear knocking on my door and hope it's him, I get so worked up. I am not focusing on work or studies, I can't get through a minute without him being in my head, really stressed and anxious. I drive around looking for him, I call or text every couple of days in the hope he will answer. This has been going on for a month now. I am trying so many things, I loved him, i still love him. This is my first heartbreak at 39 years age and I'm not coping...........

Terri_Dactal Mother In Law causing problems
  • replies: 2

My Mother In Law was someone I really loved. I came from a rough home and when I was kicked out before marrying my husband, she took me in. She tried to make me feel comfortable and loved despite barely knowing me. However I soon noticed her severe a... View more

My Mother In Law was someone I really loved. I came from a rough home and when I was kicked out before marrying my husband, she took me in. She tried to make me feel comfortable and loved despite barely knowing me. However I soon noticed her severe alcoholism and destructive behaviour my husband warned me about. She would drink 3-6 bottles of wine 4-6 nights a week. She would draw on walls and herself before having a screaming match with her female best friend that she's lived with since divorcing her abusive husband 15 years ago. Honestly I was stupid and excused a lot of behaviour because I was desperate for love and was never taught anything but dysfunction and abuse so I settled into this new cycle. She would have my crying having panic attacks at 2am in the morning when she went on a rampage around the house drunk. A year after moving in I married her son and not long after fell pregnant. I felt myself relapsing into depression again and when considering professional help she discouraged me saying "you're going to make mistakes anyway, you can't stop it" and claimed my self harm in the past was only superficial. I told her these things in confidence as a mother figure and when it suited she threw them back at me. Ive now been doing intense weekly psychotherapy for almost a year and long story short I now see why I can't allow to live without boundaries any longer, for the sake of my son (now 1) and family I started to make hose changes. I asked politely for them not to drink any alcohol when my son sleeps over. The response was that I was being silly and my MIL claimed she would never ask someone she trusts not to drink. This is not an unusual response as I understand she is an alcoholic. She has always done things I'm uncomfortable with, like posting photos on social media of my son without asking and calling him her baby, flat out lying and never acknowledging disrespecting our parenting, pretending things she said never happened, sending me abusive text messages when she's very drunk and so on. I used to to live in fear because I needed her approval but now I understand I am safe with my husband and family. Now I'm concerned about setting boundaries but he second I started (kindly and diplomatically), I was thrown into a hurricane of silent treatment, intimidation and abuse. Im now pregnant again and am seriously considering cutting her off. Hubby has never liked his Mum. I'm so stressed! My kids don't need these values do they?

anon90 i dont know what to do anymore
  • replies: 2

I'm a young father of 2 soon to be 3 but my wife and i are having problems, i love her so much but she thinks I'm cheating on her, Saturday just past had she went to send her mother a message on fb as she was doing so she seen someone in the contacts... View more

I'm a young father of 2 soon to be 3 but my wife and i are having problems, i love her so much but she thinks I'm cheating on her, Saturday just past had she went to send her mother a message on fb as she was doing so she seen someone in the contacts and started saying that she was my gf and that i was cheating, i don't even know this person and when i clicked on it there was no messages, i tried saying that i don't know her and everything but she wont listen keep saying that they wouldn't have just come up, I'm really stuck as to what to do, clearly she doesn't trust me but i really don't know what to do or say or even how to say it (i have problems in communicating like when i say stuff it comes out completely different to how i mean) , i love her so much but shes just pushing me away, this isn't the only time its happened and it seems she finds something to fight about every weekend, to make things worse Sunday night i called my best friend to catch up and talk, i wanted to go his or out but he seemed more concerned for my wife and we ended up just staying at mine but when he 1st got there he walked past me and then into the hose and spoke to my wife, now i feel like i cant and don't want to talk to him but i have no one else. i went to work today but i just spent most the time in tears so i left. we have texted a few times today but that just seems to make everything worse now she thinks i don't want to be with her. please help

Rebecca6 has anyone lost a loved one to MND
  • replies: 7

Hi my name is Rebecca I'm 23 years old when I was 14 years old I lost my dad to motor neurone disease. I was devasted my life came crashing down around me before I got a chance to start it. Due to me being young and naive i always thought there would... View more

Hi my name is Rebecca I'm 23 years old when I was 14 years old I lost my dad to motor neurone disease. I was devasted my life came crashing down around me before I got a chance to start it. Due to me being young and naive i always thought there would be a light at the end of the tunnel that I will be able to get through this and move on but now I'm 23 and realise that it's not the case. That I will live with this pain for the rest of my life. But I'm finding it harder now. Sadly last year I lost my dad's sister my aunty to the same disease and 2 and a half weeks later my grandmother to cancer. This time i was more prepared and thought I could do this I'll be fine. But the thing is I'm not. I'm finding it hard to balance my grief and life. Like how do I continue to live my life and not let my grief get in the way of it. I have an amazing partner who I love and want to share my life with. But atm I'm trying to go through the testing process to see if I may have or pass on the mnd gene to my children. I just feel like in my short 23 years of my life I have had a lot thrown my way and just need to figure out a way to balance it all and grieve but at the same time live my life to the fullest. I have amazing friends and family but Its hard to talk to someone when they don't understand. It would be great to find people who have gone through the same or a similar experience and be able to talk and relate.

shattered__to_pieces heartbroken and lonely
  • replies: 3

Hi..so im not sure how to start...all i can say is im struggling really bad with anxiety and depression..in the last 5 wks alot of my life fell apart..the man i was totally inlove with and with for 6yrs left me for another woman and moved straight in... View more

Hi..so im not sure how to start...all i can say is im struggling really bad with anxiety and depression..in the last 5 wks alot of my life fell apart..the man i was totally inlove with and with for 6yrs left me for another woman and moved straight in with her had been 'cheating for i dont know how long' how do i get through this help pls. There is so much more to it all but i dont know if i put it all in 1 post or if i just gradually let it all out as im talking to people...i have put doing this off coz i though i was coping but im not..i also have 2 beautiful little girls involved in all this my heart actually really feels like its breaking..my brain doesnt hardly atop thinking about him and her..and im so lonely its unreal