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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team keeps the Forums anonymous, posts are still online for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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nogo17 should you tell kids truth about parent alcoholism?
  • replies: 11

Hi; a question about alcoholism and kids? Is it best to tell kids the truth their father is an alcoholic ? Ive had to kick my husband out 4 weeks ago begging him to go to rehab and get help. Of course he hasent !! Was wishful thinking. I told the kid... View more

Hi; a question about alcoholism and kids? Is it best to tell kids the truth their father is an alcoholic ? Ive had to kick my husband out 4 weeks ago begging him to go to rehab and get help. Of course he hasent !! Was wishful thinking. I told the kids he has to go to hospital to get better then he can come back home... Its been 4 weeks and now ive come to terms with him not caring about us on little bit; addiction is too strong.. hes left; still drinking; and not getting help. Not sure what to tell the kids now.. as my 8 year son is asking when hes coming back. My 3 daughters dont seem to care as much and are a bit relieved hes gone. ... thoughts? Also anyone know about alcoholism and memory loss???? Before he left i noticed a deterioration in cognitive side of things..Thanks in advance..

Pixie1 Still dealing with loss of my daughter.
  • replies: 6

Hi. It will be 5 years this October since we lost our daughter. I am broken and don't know how to heal. I was doing really well. Was able to put her to the back of my mind and at least pretend to be happy. I have this want for another baby. It hurts ... View more

Hi. It will be 5 years this October since we lost our daughter. I am broken and don't know how to heal. I was doing really well. Was able to put her to the back of my mind and at least pretend to be happy. I have this want for another baby. It hurts so much that my husband doesn't. How do I get through this? Everytime a friend or family member announces they are pregnant I feel jealous and angry and the feelings come back worse then ever. I feel sad all the time and cry all the time. I have no desire to do anything anymore the depression has hit me hard.

cleo1988 Lonely, lost and in need of some help
  • replies: 36

Hello. I need some help. I live interstate, all my family live in Sydney. I have two friends here, one of which is having a baby and at times i feel used by her. I am in a job which i find isolating and because i travel so much, i have found it very ... View more

Hello. I need some help. I live interstate, all my family live in Sydney. I have two friends here, one of which is having a baby and at times i feel used by her. I am in a job which i find isolating and because i travel so much, i have found it very difficult to make friends and find a solid ground in Perth. I need to make changes in my life - and I am aware of this... I am in a relationship with a man who is 13 years my senior, we have been together for about 9 months. I know he loves me, and has told me a million times he would marry me. I want these things so badly too - just not with him. He has made me feel like he is all i have, and although i have removed myself from him many times he always finds a way back in…perhaps because i feel like he is all i have. When he calls or asks me to do something - i say yes and let him back in. I think he manipulates my kind heartedness and my caring nature. He has turned up at my work a few times unannounced, has turned up at my house, one time made me feel like he would hurt me yet makes me feel happy when i am with him because i have someone to be with and hang out with. I was at dinner with him the other night, and a few of his friends were there, and i looked around and felt sad because i thought this is not my life. This is not me and i cannot be around older men .. 50 + for the rest of my life. He has not helped me in Perth with finding friends, and has not introduced me to anyone or anything here. I feel increasingly isolated and alone. When family or friends come to visit me he is unhappy about this and makes me feel guilty for spending time with anyone other than himself. I need help to find myself again,i have lost my spark and my light. No one understands and i feel like i have nothing. my thoughts are irrational, i know I am so lucky and blessed and i need to let him go but i am scared. Any thoughts and advice i would love.x

GemAndLogan Partner facing jail
  • replies: 13

Hi all, My partner struggled with an ice addiction for about a year and a half. He is now clean and has been for around 6 months, he's doing really well now and I'm proud of him. However he is still dealing with the mistakes he made while using the d... View more

Hi all, My partner struggled with an ice addiction for about a year and a half. He is now clean and has been for around 6 months, he's doing really well now and I'm proud of him. However he is still dealing with the mistakes he made while using the drug which included some illegal activities and almost destroying our relationship by being unfaithful. We have managed to work through everything and are in a good place but the legal ramifications are ongoing. He may be facing jail and we are both terrified. I wish the judge could just see he is a good person who made a mistake, he pays for that mistake every day and will never go back. I understand that there are consequences to all actions but i think jail will be a backwards step. I'm really stressed out about it and cant imagine what i'll do if he does go. Has anyone ever been in this situation before?

nogo17 Questions : alcoholic husband
  • replies: 1

Needing some feedback please lovely beyond blue family. Ok so husband was kicked out 4 weeks ago due to alcoholism.. (Not technically kicked out but I did see a lawyer about my rights as alcoholism is destroying our family) 4 kids... Is an alcoholic ... View more

Needing some feedback please lovely beyond blue family. Ok so husband was kicked out 4 weeks ago due to alcoholism.. (Not technically kicked out but I did see a lawyer about my rights as alcoholism is destroying our family) 4 kids... Is an alcoholic by every meaning of the word- lying, borrowing money, debt, hiding alcohol, taking empty bottles away, isolating family, etc.. I guess the tough love of taking things away from him so he will go to rehab and get help has not worked. So his gone, and I'm left with everything! But the house is happier in most ways. 1. The chance of him getting help is un likely. (Doesn't think he has a problem) Do you just move on with your life like they are never coming back? I feel Like we are waiting for something positive to happen) but for him he is drinking just as much if not more... 2. I do work- but should I seek some child support to help with kids? 3. In the alcoholic mind- do they even care or miss their children at all... Do they even come as a thought?. 4. He has had no contact since he left- where we just an interference with his drinking? 5. all his belonging are still here ( should I pack them away) he walked out with 2 sets of clothes, toiletries, and a TV) that's it.. 6. Should I try to contact him? Or is that enabling? 7. Is it normal to be angry and resentful? I dislike him as his choices and bahaviour has left myself and the kids struggling everyday.. Thankyou in advance!

Trixta Seperating after 20 years of marriage
  • replies: 10

Hello, Havebeen with my wife for 20 years,this year was to be our 17th anniversary, we have 2 beautiful children one 19 and the youngest 15, I work away fifo, 11 days on 3 off, I thought we were travelling fine, left home monday afternoon for work, g... View more

Hello, Havebeen with my wife for 20 years,this year was to be our 17th anniversary, we have 2 beautiful children one 19 and the youngest 15, I work away fifo, 11 days on 3 off, I thought we were travelling fine, left home monday afternoon for work, great day excellent morning with the wife before I left, I recieved a phone call tuesday afternoon from a close friend saying he saw the wife going to the airport, I rang her 4btimes no answer, 5th answers lies to me after I asked what she was doing as I could hear her on Bluetooth, she was pick8ng up her mother whomhad flown in from nz, 2 hours later I get a message, I'm sorry, I ask for what, I'm sorry, I finally get through on the phone, I get, I can't do this anymore, I don't know who I am, I can't make any decisions, I love you and care for you but that isn't enough, I fly home jext morning and get the same answers, I love her so much, she works, I call her during the day, I ask whos in the office as I can hear other voices, I know all the staff my wife works with and I ask and ask her to say hello for me, he thinks im not trusting and checking up, now taking my son tomnz with her

Miss_Anxious Porn addiction and the isolated partner!
  • replies: 12

Hi, My partner struggles with porn addiction, we have discussed this and it always resurfaces. It's how he deals with stress and 'has nothing to do with me' but I can't help feel it is dividing us. I he asked him to talk to me if he has worries but h... View more

Hi, My partner struggles with porn addiction, we have discussed this and it always resurfaces. It's how he deals with stress and 'has nothing to do with me' but I can't help feel it is dividing us. I he asked him to talk to me if he has worries but he never does. I feel as though I'm losing it. Does anyone have any advice?

Leigh_17 Just don't fit in but husband does
  • replies: 4

My husband is a very sociable person everybody likes him. And now he has made some new friends and the wife is everything I'm not, she's smart, travels a lot for her job, very sociable and funny and nice etc etc, I have heard from my whole family how... View more

My husband is a very sociable person everybody likes him. And now he has made some new friends and the wife is everything I'm not, she's smart, travels a lot for her job, very sociable and funny and nice etc etc, I have heard from my whole family how wonderful she is, and now I have to go and have dinner with them. I know it's not a big deal to most people but I feel like I would rather die then go to dinner, but if I don't go, my husband would resent me he already does and blames me for our lack of social life. It's easier just to die sometimes.

chan stressed and overwhelmed mum
  • replies: 2

Hi im a mum and im beyond stressed ill give you a bit of a background into my mental health history and then bring you up to speed about what is almost tipping me over the edge of insanity now. i have suffered from depression, PTSD, PND and anxiety d... View more

Hi im a mum and im beyond stressed ill give you a bit of a background into my mental health history and then bring you up to speed about what is almost tipping me over the edge of insanity now. i have suffered from depression, PTSD, PND and anxiety due to multiple things happening in my life. fast forward to the brith of my first son lets call him j. it was a traumatic pregnancy as i was told there would be something wrong with my child (microdeletion of chromosomes) and was given the option to still abort at 18 weeks! i was mortified. but chose to continue with the pregnancy, and after a painstaking and stressful 43 hour labour i got j. i ended up with PND. treated and councelled, for about a year until symptoms subsided. J was BF until 8 Months and developed normally, reaching all milestones early, his behaviour was normal until he hit about 1.5 years. Now j is almost 4 and although highly intelligent he has some serious behavioural issues which im am finding overwhelming and sending me into daily panic attacks or crying in my room. he will sceam, hit, bite, cry and break things when he dosnt get his own way. Demands things of me ' i want my breakfast ,NOW' is how i am woken every morning. he hits his younger brother (whos is a so different to j) all the time. no form of punishment or discipline seems to work! i cant go out in public due to his meltdowns, and dont want to go to anyones house as im constantly appologising for his behavious! he is angry and rude all the time and i feel so isolated. i have changed his diet and am in the process of a behavioural assessment thru the RCH, but i feel like im going insane in the mean time. his father (my husband) dosnt think there is anything wrong with him and its all me overreacting (which im not multiple people see that j is out of control) so i have no support from him, i send him to daycare 1 day a week as that all we can afford. but i feel as if i have lost control of everything in my life all because of j. i am finding myself starting to resent him and questioning if i made the right decision not to abort him, which is a horrible thing for a mother to question. i mother shoud love her children unconditionally but when he is always acting up its hard to see the good in him at all. im at my whitts end to see the good in my own child and its bringing me to tears. i find myself wanting to spend less time with j as his so horrible to be around the last 2.5 years.

fox81 Separated recently
  • replies: 6

Hi, I'm not sure how to do this since I've never really shared but I know I need to in order to heal. I moved with my family just over a year ago to support my wife's family with health issues. We've been married ten years and she's my best friend bu... View more

Hi, I'm not sure how to do this since I've never really shared but I know I need to in order to heal. I moved with my family just over a year ago to support my wife's family with health issues. We've been married ten years and she's my best friend but somewhere along the way we've become just that. Just friends. We have four beautiful children who mean the world to us and they were at the forefront of our decision. We felt we owed them to show them the importance of happiness by separating. We had begun to grow apart. Arguing about silly things. Going to bed separately, often angry and waking up with nothing resolved. Our communication broke down to when we had to and even then we'd rarely agree. We seemed to be getting further apart. I spent my time looking for distractions in sports while she spent hers wrapping herself in her family's business. We were seeing less and less of each other and getting further away. We blew up into a big fight one day which eventuated in us asking what are we doing here? We decided to try some time apart and I moved out early this year. I see my kids plenty. My wife and I seem to be able to be happier around one another but it barely seems real. I miss her so badly but she seems so far away now. I struggle to be near her because my soul aches without her but I know how unhappy she was when we were together. I don't have any real friends. I had a lot of buddies but nobody I feel like I can share my feelings with. Not honestly. I feel so lonely and that's about the only thing I feel now. I have no dad. My mother is to involved in her own world to listen and my sister is an apple not so far from that tree. I have nobody apart from my amazing kids and this is no burden to share with them. I guess I'm looking for advice. What to do next. I find it difficult to share because I've never done it. Just bottled things up all along because it made it easier on everyone around me but I can't keep doing that. I need some help. Thanks for reading.

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