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stressed and overwhelmed mum

Community Member

Hi im a mum and im beyond stressed

ill give you a bit of a background into my mental health history and then bring you up to speed about what is almost tipping me over the edge of insanity now. i have suffered from depression, PTSD, PND and anxiety due to multiple things happening in my life.

fast forward to the brith of my first son lets call him j. it was a traumatic pregnancy as i was told there would be something wrong with my child (microdeletion of chromosomes) and was given the option to still abort at 18 weeks! i was mortified. but chose to continue with the pregnancy, and after a painstaking and stressful 43 hour labour i got j. i ended up with PND. treated and councelled, for about a year until symptoms subsided.

J was BF until 8 Months and developed normally, reaching all milestones early, his behaviour was normal until he hit about 1.5 years. Now j is almost 4 and although highly intelligent he has some serious behavioural issues which im am finding overwhelming and sending me into daily panic attacks or crying in my room. he will sceam, hit, bite, cry and break things when he dosnt get his own way. Demands things of me ' i want my breakfast ,NOW' is how i am woken every morning. he hits his younger brother (whos is a so different to j) all the time. no form of punishment or discipline seems to work! i cant go out in public due to his meltdowns, and dont want to go to anyones house as im constantly appologising for his behavious! he is angry and rude all the time and i feel so isolated. i have changed his diet and am in the process of a behavioural assessment thru the RCH, but i feel like im going insane in the mean time. his father (my husband) dosnt think there is anything wrong with him and its all me overreacting (which im not multiple people see that j is out of control) so i have no support from him, i send him to daycare 1 day a week as that all we can afford. but i feel as if i have lost control of everything in my life all because of j. i am finding myself starting to resent him and questioning if i made the right decision not to abort him, which is a horrible thing for a mother to question. i mother shoud love her children unconditionally but when he is always acting up its hard to see the good in him at all. im at my whitts end to see the good in my own child and its bringing me to tears. i find myself wanting to spend less time with j as his so horrible to be around the last 2.5 years.

2 Replies 2

Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

chan welcome to bb forums I really hope we can help you with this BIGIE.

I will give it the old school tie. Single dad here two kids lets call them H & J. H was diagnosed with a learning disability but still a bright little possum. Hit all the markers a little behind the rest, but still got there. J on the other hand would raise hell, yelling, swearing, hitting, making life a real hell no punishment would work. Currently the rch are working with him because of ADHD. It was me that had to show kinda and school the adhd. Now we are getting the support in and around him and H is getting the support she needs. Keep working with the doctors at the RCH for your boy in time they will get it. In the meantime you will still be dragged through something that really resembles hell. But the boy is worth it. As you're worth it.

thank you its nice to know im not alone. i just feel so bad for the terrible things i think about him and constantly question myself if im a good mum, am i doing the right things and why am i resenting my own child so much? i should love him unconditionally, and we knew a little about what we were getting into prior to him being born and i thought i was strong enough to deal with it all but im falling apart and sometimes i just snap at him for no reason (or maybe for something he did an hour ago) i feel like im losing control.