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BeyondBlue Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about
  • replies: 0

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a ... View more

Hello and welcome This is the Relationships and Family section where members can talk about what is happening in their lives and the people they live with. We know that who we live with can make a big impact on our wellbeing, both in a good way or a negative way. As always, we want to hear your story and how it impacts you and encourage everyone to support each other with kindness. There are a few things to consider when posting in this section so we can all get the most out of it: Everyone’s situation is unique. We all do our best to share what is important in our story but we can never share it all. Let’s be mindful we can’t know all of everyone’s story. Anonymous but public. These posts are available to everyone and while the moderation team will keep it anonymous, its still up for everyone to read. Have a think about what you want to share to get the best support for you. Please stay safe. This space is an amazing way to seek support from others who might understand what you are going through. We want to hear how you are going and what is happening for you. Please also consider 1800RESPECT if you don’t feel safe or 000 if you are in danger right now. You deserve to be safe. Thank you again for joining this conversation, your contributions are worthy and important to us here. Beyond Blue

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GemAndLogan Partner facing jail
  • replies: 13

Hi all, My partner struggled with an ice addiction for about a year and a half. He is now clean and has been for around 6 months, he's doing really well now and I'm proud of him. However he is still dealing with the mistakes he made while using the d... View more

Hi all, My partner struggled with an ice addiction for about a year and a half. He is now clean and has been for around 6 months, he's doing really well now and I'm proud of him. However he is still dealing with the mistakes he made while using the drug which included some illegal activities and almost destroying our relationship by being unfaithful. We have managed to work through everything and are in a good place but the legal ramifications are ongoing. He may be facing jail and we are both terrified. I wish the judge could just see he is a good person who made a mistake, he pays for that mistake every day and will never go back. I understand that there are consequences to all actions but i think jail will be a backwards step. I'm really stressed out about it and cant imagine what i'll do if he does go. Has anyone ever been in this situation before?

nogo17 Questions : alcoholic husband
  • replies: 1

Needing some feedback please lovely beyond blue family. Ok so husband was kicked out 4 weeks ago due to alcoholism.. (Not technically kicked out but I did see a lawyer about my rights as alcoholism is destroying our family) 4 kids... Is an alcoholic ... View more

Needing some feedback please lovely beyond blue family. Ok so husband was kicked out 4 weeks ago due to alcoholism.. (Not technically kicked out but I did see a lawyer about my rights as alcoholism is destroying our family) 4 kids... Is an alcoholic by every meaning of the word- lying, borrowing money, debt, hiding alcohol, taking empty bottles away, isolating family, etc.. I guess the tough love of taking things away from him so he will go to rehab and get help has not worked. So his gone, and I'm left with everything! But the house is happier in most ways. 1. The chance of him getting help is un likely. (Doesn't think he has a problem) Do you just move on with your life like they are never coming back? I feel Like we are waiting for something positive to happen) but for him he is drinking just as much if not more... 2. I do work- but should I seek some child support to help with kids? 3. In the alcoholic mind- do they even care or miss their children at all... Do they even come as a thought?. 4. He has had no contact since he left- where we just an interference with his drinking? 5. all his belonging are still here ( should I pack them away) he walked out with 2 sets of clothes, toiletries, and a TV) that's it.. 6. Should I try to contact him? Or is that enabling? 7. Is it normal to be angry and resentful? I dislike him as his choices and bahaviour has left myself and the kids struggling everyday.. Thankyou in advance!

Trixta Seperating after 20 years of marriage
  • replies: 10

Hello, Havebeen with my wife for 20 years,this year was to be our 17th anniversary, we have 2 beautiful children one 19 and the youngest 15, I work away fifo, 11 days on 3 off, I thought we were travelling fine, left home monday afternoon for work, g... View more

Hello, Havebeen with my wife for 20 years,this year was to be our 17th anniversary, we have 2 beautiful children one 19 and the youngest 15, I work away fifo, 11 days on 3 off, I thought we were travelling fine, left home monday afternoon for work, great day excellent morning with the wife before I left, I recieved a phone call tuesday afternoon from a close friend saying he saw the wife going to the airport, I rang her 4btimes no answer, 5th answers lies to me after I asked what she was doing as I could hear her on Bluetooth, she was pick8ng up her mother whomhad flown in from nz, 2 hours later I get a message, I'm sorry, I ask for what, I'm sorry, I finally get through on the phone, I get, I can't do this anymore, I don't know who I am, I can't make any decisions, I love you and care for you but that isn't enough, I fly home jext morning and get the same answers, I love her so much, she works, I call her during the day, I ask whos in the office as I can hear other voices, I know all the staff my wife works with and I ask and ask her to say hello for me, he thinks im not trusting and checking up, now taking my son tomnz with her

Miss_Anxious Porn addiction and the isolated partner!
  • replies: 12

Hi, My partner struggles with porn addiction, we have discussed this and it always resurfaces. It's how he deals with stress and 'has nothing to do with me' but I can't help feel it is dividing us. I he asked him to talk to me if he has worries but h... View more

Hi, My partner struggles with porn addiction, we have discussed this and it always resurfaces. It's how he deals with stress and 'has nothing to do with me' but I can't help feel it is dividing us. I he asked him to talk to me if he has worries but he never does. I feel as though I'm losing it. Does anyone have any advice?

Leigh_17 Just don't fit in but husband does
  • replies: 4

My husband is a very sociable person everybody likes him. And now he has made some new friends and the wife is everything I'm not, she's smart, travels a lot for her job, very sociable and funny and nice etc etc, I have heard from my whole family how... View more

My husband is a very sociable person everybody likes him. And now he has made some new friends and the wife is everything I'm not, she's smart, travels a lot for her job, very sociable and funny and nice etc etc, I have heard from my whole family how wonderful she is, and now I have to go and have dinner with them. I know it's not a big deal to most people but I feel like I would rather die then go to dinner, but if I don't go, my husband would resent me he already does and blames me for our lack of social life. It's easier just to die sometimes.

chan stressed and overwhelmed mum
  • replies: 2

Hi im a mum and im beyond stressed ill give you a bit of a background into my mental health history and then bring you up to speed about what is almost tipping me over the edge of insanity now. i have suffered from depression, PTSD, PND and anxiety d... View more

Hi im a mum and im beyond stressed ill give you a bit of a background into my mental health history and then bring you up to speed about what is almost tipping me over the edge of insanity now. i have suffered from depression, PTSD, PND and anxiety due to multiple things happening in my life. fast forward to the brith of my first son lets call him j. it was a traumatic pregnancy as i was told there would be something wrong with my child (microdeletion of chromosomes) and was given the option to still abort at 18 weeks! i was mortified. but chose to continue with the pregnancy, and after a painstaking and stressful 43 hour labour i got j. i ended up with PND. treated and councelled, for about a year until symptoms subsided. J was BF until 8 Months and developed normally, reaching all milestones early, his behaviour was normal until he hit about 1.5 years. Now j is almost 4 and although highly intelligent he has some serious behavioural issues which im am finding overwhelming and sending me into daily panic attacks or crying in my room. he will sceam, hit, bite, cry and break things when he dosnt get his own way. Demands things of me ' i want my breakfast ,NOW' is how i am woken every morning. he hits his younger brother (whos is a so different to j) all the time. no form of punishment or discipline seems to work! i cant go out in public due to his meltdowns, and dont want to go to anyones house as im constantly appologising for his behavious! he is angry and rude all the time and i feel so isolated. i have changed his diet and am in the process of a behavioural assessment thru the RCH, but i feel like im going insane in the mean time. his father (my husband) dosnt think there is anything wrong with him and its all me overreacting (which im not multiple people see that j is out of control) so i have no support from him, i send him to daycare 1 day a week as that all we can afford. but i feel as if i have lost control of everything in my life all because of j. i am finding myself starting to resent him and questioning if i made the right decision not to abort him, which is a horrible thing for a mother to question. i mother shoud love her children unconditionally but when he is always acting up its hard to see the good in him at all. im at my whitts end to see the good in my own child and its bringing me to tears. i find myself wanting to spend less time with j as his so horrible to be around the last 2.5 years.

fox81 Separated recently
  • replies: 6

Hi, I'm not sure how to do this since I've never really shared but I know I need to in order to heal. I moved with my family just over a year ago to support my wife's family with health issues. We've been married ten years and she's my best friend bu... View more

Hi, I'm not sure how to do this since I've never really shared but I know I need to in order to heal. I moved with my family just over a year ago to support my wife's family with health issues. We've been married ten years and she's my best friend but somewhere along the way we've become just that. Just friends. We have four beautiful children who mean the world to us and they were at the forefront of our decision. We felt we owed them to show them the importance of happiness by separating. We had begun to grow apart. Arguing about silly things. Going to bed separately, often angry and waking up with nothing resolved. Our communication broke down to when we had to and even then we'd rarely agree. We seemed to be getting further apart. I spent my time looking for distractions in sports while she spent hers wrapping herself in her family's business. We were seeing less and less of each other and getting further away. We blew up into a big fight one day which eventuated in us asking what are we doing here? We decided to try some time apart and I moved out early this year. I see my kids plenty. My wife and I seem to be able to be happier around one another but it barely seems real. I miss her so badly but she seems so far away now. I struggle to be near her because my soul aches without her but I know how unhappy she was when we were together. I don't have any real friends. I had a lot of buddies but nobody I feel like I can share my feelings with. Not honestly. I feel so lonely and that's about the only thing I feel now. I have no dad. My mother is to involved in her own world to listen and my sister is an apple not so far from that tree. I have nobody apart from my amazing kids and this is no burden to share with them. I guess I'm looking for advice. What to do next. I find it difficult to share because I've never done it. Just bottled things up all along because it made it easier on everyone around me but I can't keep doing that. I need some help. Thanks for reading.

Looshy the cause of my depression and what to do?!
  • replies: 4

So i dont want to get into too much detail so ill try my best to keep it short. I am a 34 year old married man with a 4 year old boy and 6 month old twins. 3 year ago i had was under fair amount of pressure with in job which resulted in a terrible me... View more

So i dont want to get into too much detail so ill try my best to keep it short. I am a 34 year old married man with a 4 year old boy and 6 month old twins. 3 year ago i had was under fair amount of pressure with in job which resulted in a terrible mental break down i was diagnosed with anxiety and depression. it resulted with me seeing 2 doctor's a therapist and i ridiculous amount of medication. I was determined to get better and worked real hard on doing so not for me but for my wife and kids. I faced a few issues that i had been avoiding which hellped with my recovery and i did come out of it a better version of who i was. I stop my medication about a year ago (which was horrible to go through) and stoped seeing my therapist, like i said i have 3 kids and a career. What i learnt though was how to identify what makes me anxious and or depressed. And the cause of all my depression even prior to my melt down is my mum and sister, they are just terrible for my mental health and creat a toxic environment that leaves mentally exhausted. Do i just not vist and leave when they come to see the kids? Which is a different kind of stress all together? Do i confront them and cause an argument and divisions between the rest of my siblings and dad? Im at a loss... and feel like im slowly sinking to were i was 3 years ago

Matt13 Depressed and Alone
  • replies: 1

Going through a tough time at the moment back on 5/2/17 my 10-year relationship was ended. I have been suffering from depression and Anxiety for a very very long time before my 10-year relationship I was on Disability Pension because of it. I met my ... View more

Going through a tough time at the moment back on 5/2/17 my 10-year relationship was ended. I have been suffering from depression and Anxiety for a very very long time before my 10-year relationship I was on Disability Pension because of it. I met my ex online and we kicked it off right away she suffers from depression as well but not as bad as me she works full time now for 20 years. My anxiety gets in the way of me looking and holding any sort of work. My ex knew all this when we started seeing each other I then moved to Sydney to be with her leaving my only home and friends and my 2 children from another relationship/marriage. Everything was great for awhile I was going TAFE I but when I lost my pension because my ex-was earning too much $$$ I started to fall into my deep depression as well. We had our ups and downs my ex's father had to come and live with us again because he was dying so both he and my mother in law moved back in. This caused a lot of friction but I became a full-time carer for my ex's dying father. After he, unfortunately, passed away I went back into a deep depression I did another TAFE course in community services but with the rising costs if TAFE we could not afford me to do any more study (I did not want to be in any form of debt not trusting the current govenment. My ex's brother then had his marriage fail and he himself moved in as well. Everything was fine for a bit I did most of the housework while trying to find work. Then my mother in law started saying she wanted it out because I could not find work. I noticed her talking to my ex behind my back and one day she just walked in on me and said "get out" that was the 5/2/17 far as I know my ex did discuss it with my mother in Law but I was busy trying to pack my stuff at the time. I flew out the same day back home in Adeleide with my mom at the house I grew up in. My ex is very cold to me in texts she said she misses me and she loves me but that's not enough. Because I could not get a job our relationship is over poof! 10 years. I'm finding it very hard to understand because I was not, not doing nothing I was cleaning, washing etc I was doing what I could to show I was and wanted to help my ex and her family. As well as looking for work but I suppose being unemployed for so long was too much of a burden on my ex and her family.

Mznicole Feeling lost and alone
  • replies: 2

I'm 28 years old and about to have my 3rd child in about 2 weeks my other 2 children are 2yrs old and 3yrs old... I don't have many friends and i don't have a supportive family.. my fiancé is basically my friend, my love, my family he is my everythin... View more

I'm 28 years old and about to have my 3rd child in about 2 weeks my other 2 children are 2yrs old and 3yrs old... I don't have many friends and i don't have a supportive family.. my fiancé is basically my friend, my love, my family he is my everything. But I'm starting to feel lost when I feel like our relationship is more or a friendship then anything else and I don't have anyone I can talk to, in a nutshell we feel pregnant 3 months of dating and he was just the type of guy who stayed because he felt he had to even though he would never say that I've always felt that. I believe if I didn't keep our first child we wouldn't be together.. I cry all the time when I'm alone because I never thought I would be 28 years old and feel all alone and I rely on my fiancé for everything. I was always so independent and now I have nothing. I feel like he has that over me and he also knows if I didn't have him I would have nothing.. I just want to feel like I'm worth something, feel important. I see a lot of mums having lunch with there friends and children and I'm always on my own with my babies.. am I just being selfish? Should I just continue living this life where I'm just so lost and lonely??