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Depressed and Alone

Matt13
Community Member

Going through a tough time at the moment back on 5/2/17 my 10-year relationship was ended. I have been suffering from depression and Anxiety for a very very long time before my 10-year relationship I was on Disability Pension because of it. I met my ex online and we kicked it off right away she suffers from depression as well but not as bad as me she works full time now for 20 years. My anxiety gets in the way of me looking and holding any sort of work. My ex knew all this when we started seeing each other I then moved to Sydney to be with her leaving my only home and friends and my 2 children from another relationship/marriage.

Everything was great for awhile I was going TAFE I but when I lost my pension because my ex-was earning too much $$$ I started to fall into my deep depression as well. We had our ups and downs my ex's father had to come and live with us again because he was dying so both he and my mother in law moved back in. This caused a lot of friction but I became a full-time carer for my ex's dying father. After he, unfortunately, passed away I went back into a deep depression I did another TAFE course in community services but with the rising costs if TAFE we could not afford me to do any more study (I did not want to be in any form of debt not trusting the current govenment.

My ex's brother then had his marriage fail and he himself moved in as well. Everything was fine for a bit I did most of the housework while trying to find work. Then my mother in law started saying she wanted it out because I could not find work. I noticed her talking to my ex behind my back and one day she just walked in on me and said "get out" that was the 5/2/17 far as I know my ex did discuss it with my mother in Law but I was busy trying to pack my stuff at the time. I flew out the same day back home in Adeleide with my mom at the house I grew up in.

My ex is very cold to me in texts she said she misses me and she loves me but that's not enough. Because I could not get a job our relationship is over poof! 10 years. I'm finding it very hard to understand because I was not, not doing nothing I was cleaning, washing etc I was doing what I could to show I was and wanted to help my ex and her family. As well as looking for work but I suppose being unemployed for so long was too much of a burden on my ex and her family.

1 Reply 1

Starwolf
Blue Voices Member
Blue Voices Member

Thank you Matt for sharing your story with us.

A relationship ending is a stressful transition. It is still recent and you are grieving the loss of a 10 years partner and the lifestyle that went with the relationship. Grief is a process that cannot be fast forwarded. Depression and anxiety don't help.

There's has been a lot on your plate. Living in a multiple occupancy household, being full time carer does take its toll. Then controversy came to complicate it further.

It is good to know you had somewhere to go when it all ended. Perhaps old friendships can be rekindled and you can become more involved in your children's lives ?

Now time has come to take good care of YOU first. I guess you also had to leave behind/interrupt whatever treatment you were on while in Sydney. If it hasn't been done yet, I'd suggest you book a long appointment with a local GP to discuss your situation and attached concerns. Rebuilding life after a break-up and change of surroundings doesn't come easy. No need to struggle alone. Due to your existing mental condition, you will need extra help and support to assist you over this rough stretch.

As you become more settled in your new life and begin to feel better within yourself, you will be in a better/stronger position to reassess your options and move on. Right now, a lot needs to be healed. Rest assured we will support you every step of the way.

Kindest thoughts.