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Feeling lost and alone

Mznicole
Community Member
I'm 28 years old and about to have my 3rd child in about 2 weeks my other 2 children are 2yrs old and 3yrs old... I don't have many friends and i don't have a supportive family.. my fiancé is basically my friend, my love, my family he is my everything. But I'm starting to feel lost when I feel like our relationship is more or a friendship then anything else and I don't have anyone I can talk to, in a nutshell we feel pregnant 3 months of dating and he was just the type of guy who stayed because he felt he had to even though he would never say that I've always felt that. I believe if I didn't keep our first child we wouldn't be together.. I cry all the time when I'm alone because I never thought I would be 28 years old and feel all alone and I rely on my fiancé for everything. I was always so independent and now I have nothing. I feel like he has that over me and he also knows if I didn't have him I would have nothing.. I just want to feel like I'm worth something, feel important. I see a lot of mums having lunch with there friends and children and I'm always on my own with my babies.. am I just being selfish? Should I just continue living this life where I'm just so lost and lonely??
2 Replies 2

BballJ
Community Member

Hi Mznicole,

Firstly, welcome to the forums.

No one should feel lost and lonely, no one deserves to go through their life like that either. It does sound like your fiancé cares about you, I know it can be overshadowed when you are alone with your thoughts and may overthink certain things. Have you thought about joining some sort of a mothers group to get to know other mothers and can possibly make friends that way?

My other thought is have you ever spoken to a GP about how you are feeling and seeing if possibly speaking to a psychologist may benefit you as well?

My best for you,

Jay

geoff
Champion Alumni
Champion Alumni
hello Mznicole, congratulations to you, but my greatest fear for you at the moment is whether you have had PND or whether you are going to fall to it after your third child is born, not that I ever want to predict anything like this to happen and hope that it never happens.
My other concern is that even though you can talk with your fiance about what you need to, does mean that there will be times when the two of you do have an argument or disagreement which then leaves you with no one you can contact and no one who can help you discuss what problem there maybe, so that's when you are going to feel the most loneliness.
No I don't think he has much over you because remember it goes both ways, because there would be times when you do or want to push him away, so the communication does go both ways, the only problem is that you missing other g/friends.
Although your children are young they must want to go and play on the swings at the park, no different than what other children want to do, so other mums must be there and could quite possibly be in exactly the situation as you are, waiting and hoping that another has mum has the confidence to say 'hello', and if this happens then it's a great chance to invite them back to your place for a coffee or vice-versa, and it's not too hard to say hi, especially if that's what you really want to do and make some friends.
I realise that at the moment you're about to give birth to another baby which may stall this for a few weeks, but perhaps you could be in a double room at the hospital, so start up a r/ship by talking with the other mum. Geoff. x