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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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concerned_wife marrage 22 years + mental health = confusion,devastation and a world of heart ache and pain
  • replies: 5

Hi all, I am trying to understand mental illness and what my husband is going through.we have had the fairy tale love story and a love. we have been best friends and I love him more then words can say. he has had a hard childhood and has not addresse... View more

Hi all, I am trying to understand mental illness and what my husband is going through.we have had the fairy tale love story and a love. we have been best friends and I love him more then words can say. he has had a hard childhood and has not addressed a lot of issues this recently has come to a head again, but this time he is saying he doesn't know what he wants. he is acknowledging he has 'demons' he is dealing with and that he loves me but doesn't know what he wants. Another contributor is that he recently had a heart attack and this is playing a big part in his mental health and mortality often saying things like I wont be around for long or you will outlive me. he has been given the all clear and he is very lucky to survive with no damage to his heart and is now being regularly monitored by specialist. I could face the world and be supporting and do what ever I had to do to support him but I need to know about our future and is he wants to have a future with me. I know this sounds selfish but once again I find my self gutted, absolutely devastated. I have been hysterical, paranoid, low self esteem. He is a very affectionate, caring, loving man that will do anything for anyone. I can see the pain in his eyes he is not trying to hurt me. But he is so consumed with what's going on with his head I am scared.I keep telling him we can work through this and ill do anything he wants but I need to know if he still wants to be with me if he wants a future with me. I have grieved and been an absolute mess for the past 6 weeks I am now getting Angry really angry because I don't understand how he cant I've me an answer I am questioning our love and starting to think about what I need to do to survive on my own. But I don't want to make things worse for him either.I need help! his the love of my live my soul mate or at least I thought he was:( had to cut lots out too many words hope it makes sense

Heyya Don't know if it's my anxciety or partner treating me bad
  • replies: 1

Hi, I have just started seeking help for my mild anxiety and depression that I believe are based in a shit self esteem. The main reason for why I have booked in a psychologist appointment is that this is really affecting my relationship. I'm writing ... View more

Hi, I have just started seeking help for my mild anxiety and depression that I believe are based in a shit self esteem. The main reason for why I have booked in a psychologist appointment is that this is really affecting my relationship. I'm writing here because I'm not sure how to cope and my appointment is over two weeks away. Anyhow, I know that I have a low self esteem and I think I might imagine things and be paranoid. I can't sort out what's my stupid brain and when I am actually being treated unfairly. We have been together for 8 months now and it has been turbulent from the start. Overall I'm better now with the support from him, but it is also devastating at times. I know that he was reluctant to start a relationship when we met, even though we already acted as a couple and everyone saw us as one, that he is shallow and have wanted me to lose weight (I'm not overweight), that he has been unsure of his feelings and has never told me that he loves me, and that he thinks about being with other girls. These are all douchebag things that makes me think that it would be more fair on me if I left. But he is also always supportive when I have a breakdown, cares about me a lot, wants to be with me and has made huge efforts to better himself for me. I keep seeing things he does as evidence for him not caring about me enough and not having strong feelings for me. Like when he doesn't ask questions about me in conversations, disregards my needs or forgets to notify me of things. For example, on Australia day, I knew he was seeing a mate during the day. We didn't text during the afternoon and when I texted him later in the evening, I just got stupid replies that didn't say anything. Found out a bit later from his mate that they were at a BBQ party, he was very drunk, and they had been drinking all day. My partner didn't tell me this. They went out later with the people at the BBQ and were out until early in the morning. He still didn't tell me. So if his mate hadn't texted me, then I wouldn't have known about it. I was so upset that I couldn't sleep and my heart was racing. I felt excluded, forgotten and left in the dark. Then a friend reminded me that he is allowed to be with his mates without me, and perhaps not having to tell me about going out even though it's a bit selfish. What I wonder is, how do I know when I react appropriately because he is treating me badly and when I overreact because of anxiety and low self esteem? Sorry for a long text.

hopehasgone Feeling helpless, Im stuck!
  • replies: 1

So here goes. Female 33. 3 children and married. Like a lot of people I had a hard childhood. Mother with mental health issues. I had my son before I met my husband. Son 12. Has his own issues been trying to get him help his whole life. Social and be... View more

So here goes. Female 33. 3 children and married. Like a lot of people I had a hard childhood. Mother with mental health issues. I had my son before I met my husband. Son 12. Has his own issues been trying to get him help his whole life. Social and behavioral issues got worse over the years. Got married when he was 10 had a baby and another when he was 12. Abuse got so bad he no longer lives with us. My husband hates him and I'm grieving because he is not around and now he wont speak to me. My husband has his own issues, anxiety, social phobia. Me depression and anxiety. My husband doesn't work and I don't want to work because I want to be with my babies. I cant talk to my husband about my son. I want my husband to work. I don't want to feel like I have to hold it all together when I'm tearing apart inside. I'm seeing a counsellor and have seen her for years but she talks to much and is stuck on the issues with my son. I feel like I don't want my husband around. I feel like he is lazy. If he doesn't work I feel he should be the worker at home. I'm trying to start my own business from home so I can stay home with the kids. My head is so full. I feel like I'm never happy. I know happiness is in the moment. But I focus on the future. My husband doesn't really care about "stuff" as long as we are happy or I'm happy. But I want the house and everything that goes with that. My husband tells me that I focus on things that I think will make me happy but if I got what I wanted I still wouldn't be happy. so here I am not happy. The only thing that keeps me going are my two girls. I miss my son. I want to love my husband and I want some future goal. I need purpose.

Kishore Its 3AM and I am sleepless
  • replies: 3

I'm a married person since last 25 years and now a loner. I want to end this relationship but my partner does want to. She throws tantrum and fight, I have soft heart don't want to hurt anyone and don't like relying on other people for things or havi... View more

I'm a married person since last 25 years and now a loner. I want to end this relationship but my partner does want to. She throws tantrum and fight, I have soft heart don't want to hurt anyone and don't like relying on other people for things or having them involved in personal things. All the time I feel lonely and like I need a meaningful connection or help to deal with things and get motivated.

rachelg12 4 Year Relationship Breakup
  • replies: 10

I dont even know where to start. My ex and I are both 21. We fell in love when we were 17. He was my first boyfriend and first love, and I was his second relationship (he dated a girl for two years in high school). Since the beggining of our relation... View more

I dont even know where to start. My ex and I are both 21. We fell in love when we were 17. He was my first boyfriend and first love, and I was his second relationship (he dated a girl for two years in high school). Since the beggining of our relationship it has been a cycle of breaking up and getting back together. In the first two years, it was because of his weed addiction, which i was not ok with. He would quit, then relapse, break up with me, hate his life, then come crawling back after about two weeks, and I would always let him because I loved him. In the most recent two years, weed is no longer in the picture,however he has been craving a life that he thinks he needs to be happy. He wants to be single and travel with his friends and even though he hasn’t said it, I believe he wants to sleep with other girls because he has only ever slept with me and his ex. He feels like he is too young to be in a serious relationship and that I am holding him back from what he wants to do. He has said this everytime he has broken up with me, which seems to be every four months. He lives wildly for about two weeks (clubbing every weekend etc.) then comes crawling back to me when he realizes it doesn’t actually make him that happy. He has recently started at a new job at Flight Centre, where the culture there is very party orientated. Since he has started he seems to be very influenced by his colleagues, who encourage him to party hard and “live life to the max”. Sure enough, two and a half weeks ago he broke up with me, saying that his heart wasn’t in it anymore and that I was holding him back. I took it very well and told him i understood and just wanted him to be happy. When he left i broke down in tears and I have been absolutely shattered since. I kept telling myself its just like every other time, and he will come back, but its been nearly three weeks and I havent heard a word from him. I havent tried to contact him because I know he needs space. I miss him so so much. I found out from a friend of a friend that he joined tinder the day after we broke up and has been talking to many girls on there. I found out last night that he went on a date with a girl, and took her to my favourite spot by the river. I am so devastated. I dont understand what is going through his head or how he could forget about me so quickly. I dont understand why he isn’t upset, or why he doesn’t miss me. Do you think he will still come back this time? I really want to fix things

Pawelski I'm scared about my relationship
  • replies: 6

I always have This feeling that partner is cheating on me. I've never caught her doing anything wrong though. I just feel like she doesn't love me like she used to. Every time I come home early from work I'm scared that I'm going to find a another ma... View more

I always have This feeling that partner is cheating on me. I've never caught her doing anything wrong though. I just feel like she doesn't love me like she used to. Every time I come home early from work I'm scared that I'm going to find a another man in my bed with the love of my life. I'm scared of what I would do to said man. I always try to play it off and be romantic (flowers and chocolate) that sort of thing. I work every day for 13-14 hours straight and the only alone time is when she come to visit for lunch or when I come home late from work. I'm scared that she doesn't love me anymore. Can I please get some help with this matter I'm scared I'm going to lose her. Every time I think about it I start to cry and I can't stop until I've had a panic attack.

Meg1888 Breakup depression?
  • replies: 2

It has been 2 months since my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. This breakup blindsided me with no warning and some very poor reasons on his behalf. He told me 'if I wasn't stressed this probably wouldn't be happening' and I believe that, he is ... View more

It has been 2 months since my boyfriend of 5 years broke up with me. This breakup blindsided me with no warning and some very poor reasons on his behalf. He told me 'if I wasn't stressed this probably wouldn't be happening' and I believe that, he is currently going through a major life change and upheaval and wasn't doing well himself. I have hope that after some time to get his life in order we may reunite, however know that is very unhealthy thinking. I'm struggling with feelings of intense sadness, lonliness and having issues eating and sleeping. I get out of the house every day but I feel somewhat like a walking zombie. I have also lost my 2 best friends to this, I guess they struggle to know what to do or say to me? Or just prefer my ex. My exs grandfather has also just passed away. I saw him as part of my family also. I'm grieving his loss while worrying about if I should (and feel I could) attend the funeral. I'm worried that I may be depressed. Unsure how long these feelings are supposed to last, however thought I would be at least marginally better by now. Do you have any advice? How did you get over a tough breakup?

Lost88 Relationship with my mother hindering my mental health recovery
  • replies: 5

Im not here to bag my mother. She does do and has done alot for me and we have been through alot. However, she can be very negative towards me in the things she says and i feel as though shes sometimes hindering my recovery. I feel like im slowly get... View more

Im not here to bag my mother. She does do and has done alot for me and we have been through alot. However, she can be very negative towards me in the things she says and i feel as though shes sometimes hindering my recovery. I feel like im slowly getting my life together one small step at a time and then we talk and she sends me back a few steps. I feel as though i need a break from her in my life so that i can get myself together so that i can be strong enough to take it and not let it get me down. I feel terrible about this because she is my mum and time is precious with those we love so i dont want to waste it, but maybe i need some time so we can be better and get on with our lives. Does anyone else have this kind of problem? Think this is a good idea? Have any other ideas? I have tried to talking to her but she gets offended, it turns into an argument and she doesnt change. Im so close to being better, i dont want to go back to that dark place i have been so many times before! Any advice welcome and appreciated. Thanks in advance!

Deafboy Deaf guy relationship
  • replies: 35

I'm a Deaf gay from Asian and in my late-30s. My all ex were Deaf and I never had hearing bf. I'm out of relationship with my Deaf ex 3 years ago, and I have rare dating with guys coz of my deafness. Most of hearing guys rejected me as I'm Deaf Asian... View more

I'm a Deaf gay from Asian and in my late-30s. My all ex were Deaf and I never had hearing bf. I'm out of relationship with my Deaf ex 3 years ago, and I have rare dating with guys coz of my deafness. Most of hearing guys rejected me as I'm Deaf Asian guy. Some guys met me just once or twice then dropped me as it's hard to communication with me. I recently met one nice guy and seen him for two weeks, I knew we went too far and he disappeared and nothing hear from him since. I feel ashame myself being Deaf. If I'm hearing then it will be better (Don't tell me that I should dating with Deaf guys here, it's very low number of Deaf gay guys here). I have a full time job, own my house and car, no smoke and no drug, different hobbies, not into party and health food. I tried to go out and any events but no one come to me. I feel less value and no love by anyone. My family love me but they never talk anything to me; I only have one or two close friends but they can't listen to me all the time, I recently visit my psych and not yet feel better. I feel no love in the world, No one give love to me and I can't give them my love. I'll be okay however I think I get worst day by day and I cry almost everyday. Sometimes I thought why I'm here? I don't know if you understand me?

Bilbo1980 Centrelink conplaint
  • replies: 1

8 months ago was when I hit rock bottom with my depression instead of suicide I turned to my family for help, at first they where great got me to go to see a doctor try different medication etc after a couple of months my family needed answers WHY? N... View more

8 months ago was when I hit rock bottom with my depression instead of suicide I turned to my family for help, at first they where great got me to go to see a doctor try different medication etc after a couple of months my family needed answers WHY? Not really having the answer of course the blame was pointed towards illegal drugs and a when is this going to end this couldn't be far from the truth of course me taking things to hart this just made me more distant from them all. I had to move out of my home for the good of my children and constant fighting with my wife it seemed better sleeping on aquatint's lounge chairs garden sheds where ever my sickness benefit would provide, on the 4th of January centrelink stop my payments because they misplace my medical certificate they said just get another one with not a single dollar to my name this is not possible it cost me 52 dollars to see my gp I've explained this but they don't care I've gone through all avenues. I now sleep on the streets eating what ever I can find like an animal now I've hit rock bottom and lost all hope because someone can't do there job. Mental health assistance in this country is a real crap show.