Relationship and family issues

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Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

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Happinessforall Is it me or him or both
  • replies: 4

I believe my fiancé has NPD I love him w everything I have but after 10 years of this behavior is killing me I'm 26 and so unhappy w myself yesterday he told me to kill my self, I'm a slut, I have no friends, I'm a retard, I need to get help, I have ... View more

I believe my fiancé has NPD I love him w everything I have but after 10 years of this behavior is killing me I'm 26 and so unhappy w myself yesterday he told me to kill my self, I'm a slut, I have no friends, I'm a retard, I need to get help, I have communication problems and I'm at my lowest I am definitely not a slut we have a son together, I have never even thought of cheating I'm very much all for loyalty in any kind of relationship/friendship, I'm not a retard tho I will admit I'm not very good w decision making at the moment my head is truly all over the place but I feel it's from the way he's getting into head telling me this, and why? Why does he hate me? ( his exact words) I always done the right thing, I don't give him a hard time about anything I let him have his guts nights out and I ask for nothing please is it me? I understand we both probably need counseling but he said it's not an option I just don't know how to help him when no one can help me

redgirl-blackdog how do i handle different beliefs
  • replies: 10

Hi, just wondering if anyone has some hints to help me when I have to see religious friends/family who tell me god only did this to test me or if I believe he would help me. I had religion shoved down my throat all the way into my teen years and alth... View more

Hi, just wondering if anyone has some hints to help me when I have to see religious friends/family who tell me god only did this to test me or if I believe he would help me. I had religion shoved down my throat all the way into my teen years and although I don't believe, I still respect other people's right to. The boys & I went to my ex sister-in-law's b/ day & she was pretty full on in saying the whole pain/ depression/anxiety "deal" could be solved with prayer. I've tried to tactfully explain what's going on, and she quoted the bible and told me she was my friend and was there for me. How do I tell her thanks but no thanks without hurting her feelings. She wants to start the friendship again, her hubby passed 6 yrs ago & I don't remember either of them being religious, so I'm not sure what to say or do. Any suggestions appreciated thanks

redgirl-blackdog daughter moved back home , not going well
  • replies: 4

I just really need to vent.I'm in constant pain & although I love my daughter I'm sick & tired of her s#!+ My 19yo daughter moved out after an argument in March &stomped off to her fathers. After yet another argument with him about keeping her room t... View more

I just really need to vent.I'm in constant pain & although I love my daughter I'm sick & tired of her s#!+ My 19yo daughter moved out after an argument in March &stomped off to her fathers. After yet another argument with him about keeping her room tidy, she rang & asked if she could come home, of course I said yes. I told her she need to be respectful & things had to change. Well she has been home 3 months, most of the time her new boyfriend has been staying o/n (facebook knew about him before I did) & I asked her to act like an adult if she wants to be treated like one. Even tho I've asked, pleaded, yelled & begged nothing has changed, she has reluctantly given me $20 but that's it, no help with chores or housework, not even washing the dishes in the whole 3 months. They both know jobs like mowing are extremely hard for me yet they just close the door to shut out the noise when I ask for help. She is now unemployed after quitting her chefs apprenticeship 3 weeks ago. They have had 3 takeaway meals this w/e alone & gone out for a meal & not asked me if I wanted anything. Her room is a pigsty with clothes & food scraps/wrappers everywhere, my sister tells me this is normal for teenagers (it wasn't for us) When I try to talk with her about her behaviour & what is expected she just starts tapping on her ph or says yeah I know & gets up & leaves in her car. She swears & carries on in front of my younger kids even when asked not to. The absolute worst was Friday morning when she knew her elderly grandmother was coming in 10 mins to do the school drop off with me, that she couldn't wait because she "needed" to meet a friend at the shops. My mum is dying from COPD but still comes to visit her because she won't drive 25 mins to see her Nan. I'm so sore from my neck/arm problem & depressed, disillusioned & overwhelmed with life and I've got 10yo twins to look after as well. And the dog she promised she'd look after. Sorry for the rant, I'm just exhausted, mind and body...

Safeasmilk Hurting from the unknown
  • replies: 40

Hi everyone, My name is Ben and this is my first post. I'm looking for some advice/support. I had met someone a couple of years back and we have been staying in contact via Skype. I'm not quite sure how I'd label our relationship but I have strong fe... View more

Hi everyone, My name is Ben and this is my first post. I'm looking for some advice/support. I had met someone a couple of years back and we have been staying in contact via Skype. I'm not quite sure how I'd label our relationship but I have strong feelings for her but unfortunately our distance makes it hard for anything to develop at the moment. Therefore I use exercise and working towards buying my first house as a way to keep my mind focused and to not delve into living in a fantasy world. A few weeks ago I lost complete contact with her and not sure if she has deleted me or there is a technical issue with Skype (as I have read that this has happened before) I have tried to get in contact with her but to no avail. I don't want to come across as needy or being a nuisance but the unknown thoughts are hurting me deeply as I am so confused and scared I may never have contact with her again. Just for some background on me I have been diagnosed with an anxiety disorder and panic a lot when things are not working. At the moment I don't feel like doing anything other then crawling up and laying in bed or turning to alcohol to help me be happy and not worry so much. I hope this isn't stupid but I do care for this person very much and it feels like this situation has taken over my life. Thanks for taking the time to read this. Ben

NarcolepticMonkey I had an emotional affair, now I have to fix it
  • replies: 3

Ok, here goes, married for 9yrs, together for 12, and basically I had an emotional affair with another woman. Its also a complicated situation. I work at the school my kids attend, and she is a mum of one of my kids friends. Ive cut all ties to her, ... View more

Ok, here goes, married for 9yrs, together for 12, and basically I had an emotional affair with another woman. Its also a complicated situation. I work at the school my kids attend, and she is a mum of one of my kids friends. Ive cut all ties to her, going to marriage counselling, seeing my psych more often, told my boss (he's been supportive in helping me), but I lied about it to my wife. I've since come clean but now she won't believe a word I say, I offer my phone for her to check, I try and talk to her, but I find myself getting frustrated when I know I need to support her. i feel stuck, and that my good intentions are constantly backfiring.

MummaBear61 Lonely
  • replies: 5

Hi guys are there any people out there that are lonely like me. . I am not look for a relationship just friends. Anyone got any advice. I have only have a couple of friends and there always too busy too talk. Please help me with any information i wou... View more

Hi guys are there any people out there that are lonely like me. . I am not look for a relationship just friends. Anyone got any advice. I have only have a couple of friends and there always too busy too talk. Please help me with any information i would really appreciate some. I am hanging on by a thread here.

Tinalea20 My 14yr old daughter has gone wild
  • replies: 11

I need advice. She goes out and tells me she will be home before dark, but comes home when ever. I get mad and remind her she is 14. She yells and tells me she missed the bus. ( all the time). I ground her. She is boy mad. I didn't bring her up like ... View more

I need advice. She goes out and tells me she will be home before dark, but comes home when ever. I get mad and remind her she is 14. She yells and tells me she missed the bus. ( all the time). I ground her. She is boy mad. I didn't bring her up like that. She comes home with love bites on her neck. I tell her they make her look cheap. She asks if a MATE can come over to hang out. She tells me he is 16 but later find out he is 19. We have a fight. She uses colourful words. Goes right off. And now refuses to go to school. That's just a little insight to what's going on in my life.

Touille Making sense of life and love!
  • replies: 7

Hi, I'm New on this site. I have already read some interesting articles of individuals suffering which moved me. I would like to share some of my story and also provide encouragment to help others avoid or cope with the same issues as I experienced. ... View more

Hi, I'm New on this site. I have already read some interesting articles of individuals suffering which moved me. I would like to share some of my story and also provide encouragment to help others avoid or cope with the same issues as I experienced. It was my first experience with my first love, it's been a year now since our break up after 18 months and I still miss her. Anyway looking back I noticed lots of warning signs of immaturity from this girl and my instinct told me, stay away, anyway my heart got involved and we fell in love. By the way, I'm 35 and live in Perth. Due to the girl living in Canada where I spent two years it became to difficult to maintain a relationship. My girl said she really wanted to continue the relationship so after returning to Australia, I worked and than returned to Canada, only to find my girlfriend didn't want to continue the relationship because of trivial reasons. So I returned to Australia and felt like I was going to have a nervous breakdown, so much pain and counseling didn't help much. A year in the future and I'm still finding hard to cope, especially with no job, friends moved away and a emotional wreck. I don't trust many people at the moment. If you have any advice on how I can move on in a positive way, please reply. So please, if your gut tells you something isn't right, listen and run, it saves so much pain. There are many good people out there who want a healthy, living, committed relationship. Now, I'm studying to be a Community Support Worker and taking each day as it comes. Life does go on. Thanks for reading. Any advice would be appreciated.

Soozette UPDATED: Need help on dealing with very anxious 9-year-old
  • replies: 9

Hi, I'm new to this forum so apologies if this has already been discussed elsewhere. I just wanted to hear from other parents who are dealing with an anxious son/daughter. My son is nine years old and has been suffering from anxiety on and off since ... View more

Hi, I'm new to this forum so apologies if this has already been discussed elsewhere. I just wanted to hear from other parents who are dealing with an anxious son/daughter. My son is nine years old and has been suffering from anxiety on and off since he was about four years old. It started to get worse late last year, at age 8, after we'd had a couple of good years. Then we started to see a positive change at the beginning of this year, only for it to rear its ugly head again a couple of months ago. He's the worst he's ever been at the moment, refusing to go to school at least 2-3 times a week, having panic attacks, feeling physically sick in his stomach (his most obvious symptom) etc. We're dealing with severe separation anxiety, generalised anxiety and a phobia of vomiting. We've just started seeing a psychologist again - the previous two didn't make much of a difference - and he seems like a good one, but I think this is going to be a very slow process and I need some advice on how to cope in the meantime. It's having a profound affect on the whole family - my husband is missing days at work, as am I, and my daughter (aged 7) is constantly being exposed to my son's outbursts (crying, anger etc). I feel flat and helpless a lot of the time, just wishing for life to be the way it was when anxiety wasn't ruling it. It's like we're on an emotional rollercoaster and it's really wearing us all down. I feel so sad for my son and wish more than anything I could make this go away, but at the same time I am finding myself getting frustrated and angry with him, which I know is so wrong. I guess I just want to hear from anyone else that has been through the same, or is going through this now, and see if there's anything that's helped get you, and your child, through. Any tips/ advice would be most welcome and appreciated. It's hard to talk to friends who haven't been through this as I don't think people understand unless they've experienced anxiety themselves or with someone they're close to. Thank you!

oldmate322 Separating needs from anxieties in relationship
  • replies: 4

I am 28 and a 2nd time poster. I currently experience moderate GAD, I am seeking treatment and an on medication but I feel I could improve by posting on this forum. my problem is that I have just started a new relationship and I am constantly stressi... View more

I am 28 and a 2nd time poster. I currently experience moderate GAD, I am seeking treatment and an on medication but I feel I could improve by posting on this forum. my problem is that I have just started a new relationship and I am constantly stressing out over it. I tend to overthink and overreacte to the smallest of things, and tend to work myself into depressive panics. I'm trying to figure out where my genuine feelings and needs end, and my anxieties commence. My girlfriend is supportive and we do discuss things, however I feel like I'm becoming less tolerable to be around lately. Some of it has to deal with the stress she's been under lately, for which I feel I've copped some blowback (unintentionally but still). It's a new relationship and recently I've been asked to pull back because I've gone so intense and it's hard for her to adjust. I know she's going through things but I need to know how to handle these panicked thoughts and feelings I get. Sometimes I worry she wants to leave me, or that I'm not mature enough for her, and these influence my thoughts around comments made to me in person/text etc. I can look at it objectively but when I'm in the moment, or stressed out because of work I tend to overreact and panic. I want to genuinely figure out my feelings for this girl, but I'm worried that if this relationship ends it won't be because we are not suited to each other, but because I have allowed my anxiety to ruin it.