Immediate support
Immediate support

Relationship and family issues

Anything to do with managing relationships and family, including parenting, separation, loneliness, divorce, family and friendships.

Start a discussion

FAQ

Find answers to some of the more frequently asked questions on the Forums.

View the FAQ

Forums guidelines

Our guidelines keep the Forums a safe place for people to share and learn information.

View the guidelines
Jump to
Start a discussion

Pinned discussions

Chris_B PLEASE READ BEFORE POSTING: 3 important tips to get the most out of this section
  • replies: 0

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following... View more

Hi everyone, The Relationships & Family Issues section is one of the busiest here on our forums. It's also one of the areas where we find members can get themselves into trouble! Before posting here, take a deep breath and be mindful of the following 3 tips: 1. Do you really want to share this with the world? This is a public forum. Are you thinking of posting something that could identify you to a friend or family member? Once you've posted, you can't delete what you've written and we don't take posts down from here unless they've broken one of our community rules. This is because our members spend a lot of time composing replies, and there is a much wider audience that gets a lot out of reading what has been written. It's not fair to ask the community for support, then ask to have it removed once you've read it so others can't also benefit. Use discretion when posting here - think about the level of detail you are sharing, and think also about who might know you are posting here. Also, please keep it clean: this is an all ages forum and explicit discussions about sexual problems are not permitted. Threads and posts of this nature will be removed and your account placed on a moderation hold. 2. What do you want to get out of posting here? Relationship and family issues are stressful. Members sometimes post here seeking advice about a relationship that has broken down, but find themselves getting upset when they don't agree with the response they get. This is a peer support forum, meaning we are not mental health professionals. We are people of all ages and backgrounds, with a wide range of life experiences. While we aim for our discussions to be conducted respectfully, people here will respond with the truth as they see it, from their own experiences and perspectives. We are not here to take sides. Offence is almost never intentional, but it can be sometimes taken. The advice you will see here is not intended to be a substitute for professional counselling. 3. What other support do you have? Most people posting on our forums (about any issue) use this space as a supplement to other supports. This forum is not and cannot be a substitute for offline supports, but it is often a good place to start the ball rolling and find the courage for seeking help. If you are relying solely on an internet forum to resolve your relationship or family issues, you are likely to be disappointed. Check out the Healthy Homes section of our Healthy Families website for further information and resources.

All discussions

Start a discussion

J_M Ending a friendship is tough
  • replies: 8

My job pretty much dictates that I can only be friends with people in the same industry. However, sometimes, someone comes into your life and you work around it. I became friends with someone and at first, it was so great not staying at home all the ... View more

My job pretty much dictates that I can only be friends with people in the same industry. However, sometimes, someone comes into your life and you work around it. I became friends with someone and at first, it was so great not staying at home all the time if I had night shifts off. I should have known it would be a train wreck the first time she betrayed my confidence! But I put it down to a mistake and forgave her. Since then, she has broken my trust a couple more times.. I also heard reports of her speaking very inappropriately around people I know. She got arrested for being drunk and disorderly, again, around people I know, also, she can't take an Uber because she physically assaulted a driver! Through all of this, I've been supportive of her, I have some troubles at the moment and she can't be bothered to even call me.. it seems I've spent a lot of time and energy on a 'friend ' that didn't deserve it... feeling so sad right now

TheGuitarist I've given up on relationships, friends, etc
  • replies: 5

Hello, I'm fairly new but been reading lots, but can't find any threads that help. Basically, I'm male, 30 in 1 month and I feel like relationships and such are over for me. I've had one dating relationship, and that ended over 10 years ago. I haven'... View more

Hello, I'm fairly new but been reading lots, but can't find any threads that help. Basically, I'm male, 30 in 1 month and I feel like relationships and such are over for me. I've had one dating relationship, and that ended over 10 years ago. I haven't had a date since before that. During my 20s, I lost a lot of weight (140kg -> 85kg), was very outgoing despite my severe anxiety, went to lots of live music gigs, bars, clubs, all of the parties. Thing is, nobody has been interested in me, and since then my health has seriously deteriorated. I now have sleep apnea, sciatica, celiac disease, IBD, major depression, severe anxiety, and a host of complications as a result of celiac disease developing in the last 3 years. I can no longer eat 90% of food, nor any form of takeaway, it's extremely complicated to dine out, and all my friends have discarded me when my illness seriously hit me. They no longer reply to texts, mention when they're in town, or communicate on social media. I have one close friend, female (I am male) who I live with, who is in a long distance relationship. Soon she'll be moving over to America to marry her fiance (and they're great together.) When that happens my last friend will leave the country. I feel my best years are behind me, my health only seems to deteriorate further and the complications keep piling up. Nobody was interested in me in my best health, when I was honestly trying as much as I could, being the most outgoing I ever have in my life, and at the peak of my health. I fear that my best times are gone, and hitting 30 next month sort of solidifies it. I haven't had a date in 11 years, and in my vocation (IT backend programming) where it's 99% male (seriously, out of 60 employees we have 1 female), I have no chance to meet anyone. I keep looking on meetup and such to find events to go to, but none seem to be in my area (SE Melbourne suburbs) and the ones in the city I can't get to due to health issues. I can't imagine anyone wanting to get involved with me with my current severe mental and health issues, and I also feel my health will only get worse from here. I've been trying to get better for years, but it just doesn't happen. I hate myself, my body, everything. I can't develop love for myself, and consequently I can't see anyone else ever doing the same. I suppose I just needed to vent. Thank you for reading if you got this far.

Shaolyn121 Trying to let go
  • replies: 2

Hi... My husband of 8 years and partner for 13 years left me unexpectedly in February. We had talked about starting a family and even had names picked out. He had an opportunity to further his career with a temporary rotation with his company in a ci... View more

Hi... My husband of 8 years and partner for 13 years left me unexpectedly in February. We had talked about starting a family and even had names picked out. He had an opportunity to further his career with a temporary rotation with his company in a city a couple hours away. I encouraged this and was excited for the new opportunities is was going to open up to us. After only a week there he met another woman and left me for her. To add insult to injury she has a child. He was cold and hurtful and left me with a lot of responsibility he just walked away from. He left me, my family, and friends for this new life. He was cruel, cold and refused to talk to me. We had worked so hard and talked so much about our dreams and goals and he just left to live out what we always talked about wanting with someone else. I have been devistated ever since. Memories of my life with him fill my head and will not back off. On top of my struggle with dealing with that, my mother decided she no longer wanted medical intervention for a health issue she had been dealing with and went on hospice where I took care of her and essentially helped her die. I thought my ex would have at least emailed me to give his condolences as he was a part of my family and close to my family for a couple years before I even met him. He didn't. The loss of the person I want to grow old with and the betrayal and lack of respect coupled with the loss of my mother has almost been unbearable. I try to tell myself that things will get better that this will be for the best but the anxiety and constant images and memories that my mind plays repeat in debilitating. I struggle to maintain this facade that I am OK when inside I feel like dying. I want to be able to accept and move on but I am constantly scheming in my brain how I can change things but I know I can't. It's like my brain won't give me a rest. It's been close to a year and I can't even begin to image my life without my ex. I have this unhealthy hope that he will contact me and ask that we reconcile. I get uncomfortable when I am in public and everything reminds me of my past. I am consumed by everything that I no longer havery and I am remaining stuck. it's affecting my life and keeping me from being able to let go and live my life. I am stugging with how you let go of something and someone you love so wholeheartedly. Thanks for reading...

Spearmint Fiance left me, I'm a mess
  • replies: 6

Hi, I didn't really want to post on here but I feel as though I need to now. In November, I watched my brother take his last breath in his fight against cancer, it was truly awful. At that time I had been getting ready to look for a job as I had been... View more

Hi, I didn't really want to post on here but I feel as though I need to now. In November, I watched my brother take his last breath in his fight against cancer, it was truly awful. At that time I had been getting ready to look for a job as I had been on holidays for awhile and moved back to my home town, my fiance told me not to go back to work yet so that I could grieve and he would support me. One month after my brothers death, my fiance (we were together for 6 ½ years) told me that he no longer fully loved me with all of his heart and that I don't deserve a life not fully loved. He broke up with me right then and there and I never even seen it coming, I had no idea he was feeling that way. I love him with every fibre of my being. He has been struggling with depression for the last couple of years but never wanted to get help for it. He was a mess but said he was 100% on his decision. That was 4 weeks ago. He was my rock during my brothers passing and now I feel like life has kicked while im down, I'm very stuffed up. Since he left I have had 0 appetite, I have to force food down but can barely eat much, I was already smallish but I have lost 5 1/2kgs and feel very very weak. Two weeks ago I started getting bad pain in my bladder and thought it was originally an infection, after taking antibiotics and it didnt go away, the doctor is sending me to get and ultrasound in a week. (I'm not pregnant). I feel like this is all too much. I have a great family around me which they have been my saviour and I will be forever grateful to them. I don't know how to pick my life up at this point. I'm too weak, tired and in pain to be able to work not to mention an emotional mess. My car needs fixing, I don't have the money to fix it. I don't want to feel this way anymore, but I don't want to be drugged up on antidepressants either.

M_R Seperated & now husband has a girlfriend
  • replies: 2

When i got married it really meant something to me.married 13yrs 3 children,1 not his 2 his.been in seperate homes caz he was abusive to child not his.more so verbally and emotionally.i still loved him but had to leave caz of this.he was still a big ... View more

When i got married it really meant something to me.married 13yrs 3 children,1 not his 2 his.been in seperate homes caz he was abusive to child not his.more so verbally and emotionally.i still loved him but had to leave caz of this.he was still a big part of our life & rang alot plus my house is like his.recently he dropped a bomb shell hes met someone.within a wk he took 2 of our kids to meet her and her kids. he only has our kids 24hrs wk & is taking kids most wks to hers.she also lives in my suburb.i am constantly crying.i have high aniexty & think when im at the local shops is that the women.my kids are highly demanding with there development issues which he is no help with.when driving i pass something that reminds me of him and feel like i want to throw up and then cry.i think about them having sex i think about her with my children i think about how hes doing stuff with her and her kids and never did that with me and our kids.my house is turned upside down.i tried communicating in writing but he got her to write to me caz he wouldnt say the right words.i knew it was not him as i know how he speaks & when i spoke to him he admitted it was her.i cry im so sad.i feel like a failure i feel like i was never loved by this man.he has disconnected himself.i don't know who he is.i love all my kids 1is to young to understand & the other has aniexty & scared to say something to him just incase he doesnt see them anymore.i feel like im heading down a spiral of feelings of overwhelment like climbing out of a well only to pop my head up and then to fall down to the bottom again.family is not helpful & friends are good but i feel bad when i talk about him & what hes doing to me on a regular basis. i feel so broken. he wants a divorce.

Kayaking Not sure what is going on with me.
  • replies: 6

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and I just have no sexual desire towards him. I feel like I've lost interest because of his family and his friend. I've tried to talk to him about how he never sticks up for me in... View more

I have been in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 and a half years and I just have no sexual desire towards him. I feel like I've lost interest because of his family and his friend. I've tried to talk to him about how he never sticks up for me in situations, regardless of being my fault or not, and he just disregards everything and says that it's all made up. I don't feel like I get the emotional support I need from him. Through all of this, I just see his flaws and him being overweight, his lack of pulling his weight around the house, even though he works from home. Whenever he tries to touch me, I really don't like it and move away. He's a nice person and doesn't do anything intentional to hurt me. I'm not sure if this is normal and it will pass or if I'm depressed or something.

mechanical_animal having feelings for someone while your in a committed relationship
  • replies: 15

Hi my first post. I've been battling depression since i was 17 years old, been on and off meds for years. I am now 32 years old. I feel bad about this. I've been in a committed relationship with my fiancee for 7 years! we have a daughter that is a ye... View more

Hi my first post. I've been battling depression since i was 17 years old, been on and off meds for years. I am now 32 years old. I feel bad about this. I've been in a committed relationship with my fiancee for 7 years! we have a daughter that is a year old that I really love very much. I've had a fair bit of bad luck this year. I usually talk to people i know to help me with issues (of late I think I'm annoying people by doing this) This time however I am not game to tell anyone I know. We have this friend and I have kinda become infatuated with her she is a nice chick but i don't want to lose her as a friend or lose my missus or daughter either. I don't think I could could cheat on my missus. I just wish these feelings would go away!! If i tell my missus this. I don't know how she would take it. I love her but i am just over fighting with feelings all the time. I don't want her out of my life either. If i tell this girl how i feel then I'm sure that gets to my missus also. I just wish there was someway to turn all of this off. you know. especially when this girl is on my mind lots. it's so sad that now when I'm on facebook. I look to see her online or like something i have posted or commented on. I hope someone has some advice on what to do??? I've been trying for so long to make improvments on myself but something silly like this comes along and throws me back to square one

RJ25 Dating a man who thinks he's not good enough.
  • replies: 2

Hi everyone, Firstly, apologies for my writing - it's a bit all over the place as I'm typing with a toddler jumping over me!! I'm hoping someone may be able to provide me with a bit of insight into loving a man with depression. We have been dating fo... View more

Hi everyone, Firstly, apologies for my writing - it's a bit all over the place as I'm typing with a toddler jumping over me!! I'm hoping someone may be able to provide me with a bit of insight into loving a man with depression. We have been dating for almost 6 months & everything is great for the most part. He's a wonderful guy with a secure job & what seems like a good life. He has 2 children which he sees every second weekend, and 2 ex-wives (one of which he has a not so good relationship with now) so knows about heartbreak. Without going into details, he has also suffered other events throughout his life which seem to have contributed to his depression & thinking that he isn't worth loving. I also have gone through a recent marriage breakdown & have 2 kids. The time we spend together is amazing. I believe we have a great friendship & the communication between us is like nothing i have ever experienced. He is wonderful with my kids & I know he values the time he gets to spend with all of us. The thing is..... whilst he loves the time he spends with my little family, he also struggles with the guilt of what he's missed with his own kids. I can actually see the conflict this causes within him. Also, something will happen in his life which will trigger a bout of depression and he ultimately retreats into his man cave. This happened again last night, however, we managed to talk for an hour or so about our relationship and life in general. He tells me things like he needs to be the right person for me & my kids, that he doesn't deserve to be loved by me & that i'm too good for him, that its just easier to push me away than open up his heart again because ultimately it will lead to heartbreak, & that he knows he will only hurt me in the long run. I tell him that I understand getting into a new relationship is scary (i feel the same about heartbreak), & that we can take things as slow as we both need, & that I am here for him whenever he needs. I've told him that I think he's wonderful & that I deserve to have input as to whether he's the right man for me or not. Although I have done a lot of reading on depression, I do not suffer from it. I know that I can only offer my support but it's breaking my heart that this man thinks he is not worthy of being loved. How do I show him I'm here for him and in it for the long term? If anyone has experienced this kind of situation - from either side - and can offer me some guidance, it would be much appreciated.

SydneyKat Will he come back?
  • replies: 12

Hi, my husband left me and my daughter , 3 weeks ago. It was quite sudden for me. Is it possible he will come back after a separation? Does it happen? What makes it happen? also how do I truly know there is no one else in his life? sad and lonely kat

Hi, my husband left me and my daughter , 3 weeks ago. It was quite sudden for me. Is it possible he will come back after a separation? Does it happen? What makes it happen? also how do I truly know there is no one else in his life? sad and lonely kat

KrysDrake Trusting my family again..
  • replies: 1

Since as early as I can remember, I have not gotten along well with my parents. My father was quite abusive and my mother rather neglectful. Both of them are alcoholics and seem to suffer depression. Just over a year ago my grandfather passed away an... View more

Since as early as I can remember, I have not gotten along well with my parents. My father was quite abusive and my mother rather neglectful. Both of them are alcoholics and seem to suffer depression. Just over a year ago my grandfather passed away and ever since then, I have felt so incredibly alone I have cried myself to sleep most nights. I want to become close with my parents again but I can't seem to get passed all the things they have done to me and my brothers.. What should I do?