Relationship and family issues

Anxiety and finding a partner. Is it possible?

replies: 2

Hi all I am a 50yo male married twice and divorced. I have been living mostly alone for 3 years and separated for 8 years. i am traveling in my caravan full time and would like nothing more than to find a companion to share it all with. I struggle ev... View more

Hi all I am a 50yo male married twice and divorced. I have been living mostly alone for 3 years and separated for 8 years. i am traveling in my caravan full time and would like nothing more than to find a companion to share it all with. I struggle every day to function and do the must do things to get through my day but i feel i would function so much better with someone to keep me focused and motivated. my step son moved out 3 years ago at 21yo and i am very lonely and withdrawn since. His girlfriend has driven a wedge between us and i miss him a lot. he was my best mate for 12 years and it hard to get on without him around. I was always very focused and did quite well when he was around. I am a decent person caring thoughtful and very trustworthy. i get the feeling i could be helping someone to overcome some of lifes obstacles and in return they could be helping me to keep focused on the good stuff.

Separation : Should I give it another go or should I move on ?

replies: 5

I never posted about my problems but I do feel that I have to talk. I always had 2 jobs. I have a diploma, but I never been to University. 3 years ago I decided to change career as I was unhappy with my current work. I started an apprenticeship. I go... View more

I never posted about my problems but I do feel that I have to talk. I always had 2 jobs. I have a diploma, but I never been to University. 3 years ago I decided to change career as I was unhappy with my current work. I started an apprenticeship. I got married, we built a house together with my wife. I have been with my wife for 10 years before we split up. My wife and I separated 7 months ago, due to the fact that I lost my job and was unemployed for 4 months. She reproached me to be not responsible enough and to be not proactive enough ( which I was... at some point I had barely the will to go on, I was feeling like I was rotting away and that I could not move forward any more.) Every night she would come home from work I was very anxious about how she would react about the fact that I did not find any jobs or that I was not successful in an interview. I dreaded that fact that if she was not satisfied, she would explode and start making a scene, insult me and diminish me. (She did this quiet frequently when things didn't go the way she wanted). So I started lying ( I shouldn't have really) about how I was doing in order to avoid a scene. The truth eventually cough up with me, and made things far worse. I felt like I was in a dead-end, with no way out. I was not making any money, I was losing my wife and the bills accumulated. One day during an argument she told me that she refuse to support a parasite, and that I was not man enough, that I should be providing for my wife, not the other way around. (She works as a lawyer) So in the end I could not pay my share of the mortgage, she refused to cover my half, she was complaining that she was feeding me. She was not always like this, I think I made her become like this because I was too nonchalant about the money issue. Now I do manage my life better, I am in the process of joining the Navy (dream career for me) I do eat again, I can sleep a bit more than before (4-6h a night). I think she was dating someone else, I believe she was dumped but that she might be in love with the other guy. But she is considering taking me back if I can prove that I am more responsible, that I can take better care of my affairs, and that I need to show more initiative for suggesting activities. I do want to work things out with her, but I think that she doesn't really care for me, and that she as someone else in mind ...and that is killing me... because despite everything I do love her.

Relationship Help

replies: 11

Hi guys, I need some advice on my relationship. My fiancé and I have been together for approx. 4 years and we have a (almost) 3 year old daughter together. I also have 2 sons from a previous marriage that stay with us every second weekend. I feel lik... View more

Hi guys, I need some advice on my relationship. My fiancé and I have been together for approx. 4 years and we have a (almost) 3 year old daughter together. I also have 2 sons from a previous marriage that stay with us every second weekend. I feel like over time he has lost his affection towards me. He looks annoyed sometimes when I give him a hug or a kiss, we are rarely intimate (although it doesn't help that our daughter still sleeps in our room). I don't believe he is attracted to me anymore but I have put on a bit of weight and don't feel attractive in myself. I have tried to talk to him about it so many times and I am forever asking him what is wrong or whether he still loves me and he says there is nothing wrong and he loves me. I used to feel like we were best friends but now I feel like he has shut me out. Lately when I try and have a conversation with him he seems really disinterested and when I get upset about something, even if it's not relationship related he gets annoyed and has now said a few times, "what is it this time?". I have said to him I just need a hug and some reassurance and he has given me an excuse as to why he can't like he doesn't feel well or he is exhausted. I have depression and anxiety and it must take its toll on him but he also has social anxiety and anger issues that are difficult to live with too. I'm not sure if he is depressed as he seems like it at times but he says he isn't. I'm scared he will leave me and I'm not sure how I will cope. I had two long term relationships before this one and both ended in a similar way where I felt for a period of time that they were cold towards me and lacking in affection/love before they left me. I also believe that one of them cheated on me and the other- my ex husband- was planning to be with another woman while he was ending our relationship as he was in regular contact with her and then a relationship starting with her almost immediately after we separated. I don't know what I should do to fix this and where I have gone wrong each time. Please help me!

New member. Struggling with mental health after beak up.

replies: 4

Hi, just a quick introduction but I plan to post again soon. I'm 35yo and recently just separated last month from a short but intense relationship of 8 months. I'm feeling hopeless, useless, low self esteem, constantly feeling down. From what I've ex... View more

Hi, just a quick introduction but I plan to post again soon. I'm 35yo and recently just separated last month from a short but intense relationship of 8 months. I'm feeling hopeless, useless, low self esteem, constantly feeling down. From what I've experienced she seems like a text book case of bpd/npd and I've just been discarded.

Advice and help

replies: 1

Hi guys Having a few problems in my life atm start I been told I had depression now for 2 years and never new I had it. But now I been told about it a lot of things make sense to me. I nearly die in Jan with bad phenomenal and had to spend 4 days in ... View more

Hi guys Having a few problems in my life atm start I been told I had depression now for 2 years and never new I had it. But now I been told about it a lot of things make sense to me. I nearly die in Jan with bad phenomenal and had to spend 4 days in I/C but now been told I could have diabetes from it now. And my wife separate from me and think this is just a excuse all so found out I could have A.D.D. So you can see March was not a very good month for me. I all so work away FIFO so it pretty lonely for me now as I have no family or friends here in my wife country. She said she hates the person I become and so do I but I never new I become this person which is the hardest thing to take in. We have 2 boys 5 and 6 years old and I have admit my problem and getting help and opening up about it. She says she want to do family things together but won't open up at all closed down completely and won't even speak with her mum and dad who live 10 mins away from us. She very hot and cold and leaves day by day she can't even look me in the eyes or talk to me properly without getting angry and runs away.and says it not worth trying even for the kids sake which I think we should at least try and so does everyone else we don't have much to lose if we do try at least we could try and save are friendship. Not sure what I should do I feel like packing up and moving back to the u. K and be around people who care on this dark path I'm on atm.And being away and not talking is killing me inside her parents understand my ruff time real unsure on what to do as I do care for her but she says she don't care for me but I can still see it in her but she won't open up and just given up without balking or making any plans she spending money like water and not thinking about anything not even talking kids into all this I know she tired as are oldest son has adhd and hard work but she so angry about everything lately and negative been her parents say that and told me to give it time sort myself out first but so hard as I can still see a future for us as I know my problem but she won't admit her problems

Relationship Worries...

replies: 3

Hi, I am new to this site and to be honest not sure what I am looking for. Maybe I just want to get what's off my chest and for someone to listen or maybe it's more... My partner and I have been together for 5 years and we recently got married and ha... View more

Hi, I am new to this site and to be honest not sure what I am looking for. Maybe I just want to get what's off my chest and for someone to listen or maybe it's more... My partner and I have been together for 5 years and we recently got married and have a 2 year old son and one on the way. I am continuously finding out small lies and then big lies either from friends, family members or even just going through his phone (this makes me feel guilty). I am starting to question things and my trust has been completely shot and I don't know how to get passed it. I also have minimal help around the house, I do all he house work with no social life whatsoever. Am I being silly? I feel like I'm starting to get down as I continually overthink shit.

Would you want to know?

replies: 3

I've already gone into the details of my separation from my husband so i wont retell it all again, what im after is a bit of advice on something I've recently found out. Last week i found out theres a strong possibility my husband has got the OW preg... View more

I've already gone into the details of my separation from my husband so i wont retell it all again, what im after is a bit of advice on something I've recently found out. Last week i found out theres a strong possibility my husband has got the OW pregnant, i know he wont come forward and tell me himself because hes not exactly the most honest man around but i think it would be the respectful thing to do considering we've only been separated for 4 months. I've thought about asking him straight out because i want to know if its true. We have been in contact most of the time since he left but over the past 3 weeks he hasnt contacted me at all and i think this maybe the reason, im just guessing thou. Would any of you want to know and how would you go about asking?

Young Marriage Ending

replies: 2

Hi, My wife has told me this morning she can't go on with our current marriage. She has been upset with my lack of motivation and unwillingness to seek help for depression I suffer. I'm a musician and suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression pre a... View more

Hi, My wife has told me this morning she can't go on with our current marriage. She has been upset with my lack of motivation and unwillingness to seek help for depression I suffer. I'm a musician and suffer from a lot of anxiety and depression pre and post work, also we have planned to move overseas once she has finished her degree (she's a foreigner) and questions what I'll do when we go. We seem to have one big argument every 6 months (married 3 years) and I think my inability to change from those arguments ultimately has put her in this position. I cannot sleep, function or concentrate with this going on, she is staying at a friends because she thinks I will pressure her decision, I was so adamant that I will change. We regularly tell each other "I love you" but this seems an extreme and quick decision. I take a lot of the blame for not at least getting help for myself but can't help think that this is a dash decision, or have I just been blind to the fact. 3 years doesn't seem long and considering I thought we were still in the honeymoon period this is extremely shattering. I've booked in to see my GP regarding a mental health plan but if this all goes south as I fear, I can't see how I'll survive... Thanks for listening, I'm really struggling.

Newbie - The low down...

replies: 3

Hi, so this is my first post and it feels weird but I feel I need advice maybe, support maybe, maybe I just wanna feel respected, I don't know! I just feel a little lost. So here's the low down.. I've been Married for over 7 years now, I have a 1 yea... View more

Hi, so this is my first post and it feels weird but I feel I need advice maybe, support maybe, maybe I just wanna feel respected, I don't know! I just feel a little lost. So here's the low down.. I've been Married for over 7 years now, I have a 1 year old and am now pregnant with my second, 14 weeks along. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety 4 years ago now, saw a psychologist then a psychiatrist who put me on meds and who did help me a lot! It took me a good 2 years before I did anything about what I was going through. I couldn't sleep and when I did I'd wake then toss and turn the rest of the night. When I did wake I'd wake shaking and jittery. I kept thinking I was dying, actually I convinced myself I was. Short of breath, heavy in the chest, dizziness, heart racing to the point doctors put me on heart meds to slow it down. I had to see a cardiologist cause they thought it was my heart..so you can imagine my anxiety! The panic attacks were terrible! After I got the help I needed I got better but the last few weeks have been real hard, I'm crying at least once a day! I feel I have no support from my husband, most times I feel I can't talk to him and when I do, he's like what's wrong now? Why are you crying? Get over it, geez you whinge a lot and that's just the start! He has said a lot of things to put me down and make me feel worthless. Early on he had a real bad temper, screaming at me throwing stuff, punching and kicking walls and back then I was very clear that he needed to get help or I was leaving! He did get help and he's a lot better now. I was terrified of him, I'd leave the front door unlocked just in case. But like he says, that's the past I guess and he has changed. I'm just feeling so alone, like no one understands me. I want his support and respect but I just don't feel it and looking after a 1 year old, being pregnant with the next and trying to manage things at home it's just so hard, exhausting! I don't want to leave the house most days. And I'm kind of feeling like my son doesn't want to be around me now he always goes to his dad. Not to mention my husbands mum irritates me I just can't tolerate her and I really don't want to see her anymore nor do I want my kids around her.. She's always making absurd comments toward me. If I mention it to my husband he never makes a stance for me but instead tells me to grow thicker skin. And that my family is no better. I'm sick of feeling lonely, sad, upset all the time..

I think my girlfrind may be working as a prostitute

replies: 5

ok so where to start. my names josh im 22 years old and have been with my gf for the past 6 months i love her alot and she means the world to me. up until recently we have had a great relationship, this was untill she started a job baby sitting now w... View more

ok so where to start. my names josh im 22 years old and have been with my gf for the past 6 months i love her alot and she means the world to me. up until recently we have had a great relationship, this was untill she started a job baby sitting now what first got me suspicious was she was taking sexy underware to work every day the stuff she only used to ware for me on top of that she was makeing up to 600 a day now when i questioned her about this she said the family are very rich the dad is a ceo of a large company and thats why they pay so much. still not convinced i waited untill she left her phone in the room with me while she had a shower i found msgs there talking about rosters and hours she needs to be in i also found a string of msgs from someone who said they were from her first day of work at "studio relax girls" from the same person was msgs asking when she is working and "i miss the way you make me feel" also replys from her saying im already booked up so you can wait or just see one of the other girls. armed with this evidence i confronted her about this she rejected it all saying its just a joke between her friends and she is doing babysitting. i however was not convinced so i called up this "studio relax girls" described her and made an apointment to go see a girl who matched her description. i got to the place and found her there in red lingerie she look shocked to see me i left the place straight away without speaking to her. about 6 hours later i turned my phone back on and she called me saying how sorry she was and that she DOESNT DO FULL SERVICES no one touches her and she doesnt touch them sexually and only gives back massages after a long discussion going over and over that she says she doesnt do anything sexual i took her back. she went a week without going there and ignoring there calls then she tells me se is going to work there doing nothing sexual only doing massrges like she was before i hated it so much i argued and had fights with her regarding it finally she said im working there get used to it or im leaving you. i am deeply in love with her so i backed down and let her do what she wanted regardless of how much it hurt me. she has done two shifts now since i found out the first time i smashed the living hell out of everything that was around me got angry and fell apart inside i begged and begged her not to go back but she did her second shift since i found out was today i spent the first half of the day in bed crying feeling sorry for myself and talking to her on fb i figured whats the point of this so i called up a good mate of mine just to go hang out and talk s**t i told her i was going and ill talk when i get back. so about an hour and a half goes by and she sends me a msg saying that she just had a one hour client i think ok stay calm she wasnt doing anything sexual its all ok, 5 minutes after that first msg she sends me one saying "i slept with him call me", i threw up died inside felt like i had been torn apart i was full of anger and sadness how could she do this to me i race home and call her as fast as i could. she then tells me it was only a joke and she just wanted me to call her because she miss me i could not believe it was she serious did she think this was funny. she tells me im over reacting and stop being so clingy. my question to everyone is am i just being naive trusting her? was she confessing to me then chickened out? how can i trust her? i love her and want to be with her but this is tearing me apart and i honestly feel like i dont know what to do

Pinned discussions

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

All discussions

Anxiety and finding a partner. Is it possible?

replies: 2

Separation : Should I give it another go or should I move on ?

replies: 5

Relationship Help

replies: 11

New member. Struggling with mental health after beak up.

replies: 4

Advice and help

replies: 1

Relationship Worries...

replies: 3

Would you want to know?

replies: 3

Young Marriage Ending

replies: 2

Newbie - The low down...

replies: 3

I think my girlfrind may be working as a prostitute

replies: 5

Relationship and family issues

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about replies: 0

Anxiety and finding a partner. Is it possible? replies: 2

Separation : Should I give it another go or should I move on ? replies: 5

Relationship Help replies: 11

New member. Struggling with mental health after beak up. replies: 4

Advice and help replies: 1

Relationship Worries... replies: 3

Would you want to know? replies: 3

Young Marriage Ending replies: 2

Newbie - The low down... replies: 3

I think my girlfrind may be working as a prostitute replies: 5

Hey there - read this to see what this section is all about

replies: 0

Anxiety and finding a partner. Is it possible?

replies: 2

Separation : Should I give it another go or should I move on ?

replies: 5

Relationship Help

replies: 11

New member. Struggling with mental health after beak up.

replies: 4

Advice and help

replies: 1

Relationship Worries...

replies: 3

Would you want to know?

replies: 3

Young Marriage Ending

replies: 2

Newbie - The low down...

replies: 3

I think my girlfrind may be working as a prostitute

replies: 5