Questions : alcoholic husband
Needing some feedback please lovely beyond blue family. Ok so husband was kicked out 4 weeks ago due to alcoholism.. (Not technically kicked out but I did see a lawyer about my rights as alcoholism is destroying our family) 4 kids... Is an alcoholic by every meaning of the word- lying, borrowing money, debt, hiding alcohol, taking empty bottles away, isolating family, etc.. I guess the tough love of taking things away from him so he will go to rehab and get help has not worked. So his gone, and I'm left with everything! But the house is happier in most ways.
1. The chance of him getting help is un likely. (Doesn't think he has a problem) Do you just move on with your life like they are never coming back? I feel Like we are waiting for something positive to happen) but for him he is drinking just as much if not more...
2. I do work- but should I seek some child support to help with kids?
3. In the alcoholic mind- do they even care or miss their children at all... Do they even come as a thought?.
4. He has had no contact since he left- where we just an interference with his drinking?
5. all his belonging are still here ( should I pack them away) he walked out with 2 sets of clothes, toiletries, and a TV) that's it..
6. Should I try to contact him? Or is that enabling?
7. Is it normal to be angry and resentful? I dislike him as his choices and bahaviour has left myself and the kids struggling everyday..
Thankyou in advance!
His chance of getting help is not going to happen, his life is his grog and nothing else, where here he can get his next drink and would as well as con someone just for this to happen.
There is a program called Al-Anon so google 'Al-Anon Family Groups' where someone will come out and have a talk with your kids, regularly if needed.
He does care for his children, but alcohol must come first before anything else and usually no attempt will be made to contact them, unless he can gain in some way by seeing one of them, whether this is information, money or conning them into giving him some money, which he will tell them that he will pay them back, it never happens.
Maybe store all his belongings in a shed or if they aren't even worth that much then throw them away, he probably won't even remember what is there, he has already taken what he wanted, so the rest is not worth keeping.
Of course you are going to feel angry, just as the kids would be feeling, but you won't want him to return, because you could never trust him, so your marriage has ended and I would start divorce proceedings. Geoff.